• February 14, 2012

Before: Man. After: Monster.There is something very charming about how cheaply and how obviously Joe Biden indulges his personal vanities. Surely he knows plastic surgeons and Hair Club type people who could do this stuff quietly and, you know, correctly, but down home Joe from Scranton takes the train home every day! So instead he says, “Oh noes I am losing my hair! I’ll just take these other hairs an’ plug ‘em into my head, in rows, and nobody will know the difference! Here, gimme that glue gun!” and also more recently, “Holy cow my forehead’s a-wrinklin’! Squirt a big heap of that paralytic virus in there and we’ll show America what a real monster looks like!” Now nobody can vote for Barack Obama or Joe Biden, because Joe Biden is a Botox addict. [Washington Post]

{ 45 comments }

Deepthroat October 14, 2008 at 1:11 pm

i have it on good authority that Cindy McCain is acutally 97% Botox

Iggy Plop October 14, 2008 at 1:12 pm

That’s what I love about Biden – he takes all that grandiosity and obsequiousness with a hint of the smarmy that makes most politicians seem so phony and makes it seem actually somehow authentic.

V572625694 October 14, 2008 at 1:13 pm

Who is this “Joe Biden” and why should we care about him? I thought he quit in 1988.

/Truck NUTZ!

Serolf Divad October 14, 2008 at 1:13 pm

He’s the new Gretta Van Susteren.

WIDTAP October 14, 2008 at 1:14 pm

Could be botox. Could be that Joe is just less surprised the more he runs for office.

shortsshortsshorts October 14, 2008 at 1:15 pm

[re=133098]Deepthroat[/re]: And 3% Xanax.

The Station Manager October 14, 2008 at 1:16 pm

So That One was trained by the greatest terrorist ever at eight years old, and This One is full of botulinum toxin? God help us all.

Anonymous Office Zombie October 14, 2008 at 1:16 pm

The VP with a frozen forehead vs. the VP with a frozen brain – your choice.

WIDTAP October 14, 2008 at 1:16 pm

On the other hand, regarding the hair plugs, does anyone else think “Trappist Monk” when viewing Joe from behind, or is it just the Catholics?

NotUrEvryDayWEzl October 14, 2008 at 1:18 pm

[re=133098]Deepthroat[/re]: She’s actually a mimetic C. botulinum colonial organism

DangerousLiberal October 14, 2008 at 1:19 pm

[re=133106]Serolf Divad[/re]: Which is the before and after picture? It’s not really self evident.

friendlynerd October 14, 2008 at 1:20 pm

[re=133098]Deepthroat[/re]:
I think the other 3% is facelift. Look at those crazy eyes! Can she even close them anymore?

GlennBecksTaint October 14, 2008 at 1:21 pm

Hmmm Riden Biden or Nailin Palin?

Datsun510 October 14, 2008 at 1:24 pm

I haven’t said anything only because it’s awkward, and a little embarrassing.

MrSandwich October 14, 2008 at 1:24 pm

Botox Addicts…NOT one of the Top 50 Swing Voter Demographics in 2008.

The Top 50 Swing Voters: #29 – Nudists -Sticking to the Issues

http://swingvoters.wordpress.com

SayItWithWookies October 14, 2008 at 1:24 pm

The first time they did a close-up of him at the debate I said “What’s wrong with his face? He looks like Marlon Brando in Teahouse of the August Moon.” Those were some puzzled stares, I tell ya.

nietzscheprojectile October 14, 2008 at 1:26 pm

Stop it. He’s just well rested.

Tommy Says Soooo October 14, 2008 at 1:26 pm

Who could blame Gaffey Joe? He looks too much like Howard Dean on the left. If it were me, I’d amputate first, but the Botox would be 2nd.

WadISay October 14, 2008 at 1:27 pm

[re=133103]Iggy Plop[/re]: You’ll be singing a different tune when he has his breasts enlarged.

whore4hope October 14, 2008 at 1:27 pm

The next thing you know he’ll resort to tattooing his lip-liner!

Servo October 14, 2008 at 1:35 pm

Who cares? If it helps get the li’l old blushin’ ladies to vote for Obama, I have no problem with the man’s cosmetic touch-ups.
Wouldn’t it be great if Berkeley Breathed penned a strip based on this election? It seems a perfect bookend to Bloom County. They had bitters then, too.

magic titty October 14, 2008 at 1:37 pm

I just think being around Hopey makes him feel young again.

And seriously, as [re=133098]Deepthroat[/re]: points out, do Republicans really want to play the elective surgery game with that cosmetically enhanced witch Cindy on their side?

lawrenceofthedesert October 14, 2008 at 1:44 pm

I think all politicians should start inserting plates in their lips, adding metal rings around their necks, and binding their feet to make them even more readily identifiable on the street as the potentially toxic substances they are. Practice safe politics!

yorktronic October 14, 2008 at 1:56 pm

Cindy.McCain.

V572625694 October 14, 2008 at 1:58 pm

[re=133126]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Because who, except for those of us who played the mayor of the village in a high-school production of it, remembers “Teahouse of the August Moon” ?

gurukalehuru October 14, 2008 at 1:59 pm

They say hair plugs, we say lip-liner tattoos. They say Ayers, we say Liddy. They say Wright, we say Hagee. They say ACORN, we say WALNUTS! We’ve got it covered.

naveed October 14, 2008 at 2:03 pm

That guy on the left looks suspiciously like Ron Paul. Just sayin’.

obfuscator October 14, 2008 at 2:09 pm

Am I the only one who thinks he looks better in the ‘before’ photo?

MathewBrooks October 14, 2008 at 2:10 pm

“Botox Addict” is a term better suited to Nicole Kidman.

HeyHey October 14, 2008 at 2:10 pm

The polar bear pin Palin’s wearing at a Pennsylvania rally this afternoon is much worse than Biden’s botox.

obfuscator October 14, 2008 at 2:13 pm

[re=133111]The Station Manager[/re]: Palin will accuse Joe Biden of harboring biological weapons of mass destruction in his forehead.

lazyb October 14, 2008 at 2:18 pm

[re=133236]HeyHey[/re]: Wow. A polar bear pin from the woman who opposed their protection. I guess she wears it in the same manner as she’d wear an embroidered moose sweater. Sort of a shout out to animals she’d like to kill.

tripsydaily October 14, 2008 at 2:33 pm

I’d hit it.

nosnikreplliw October 14, 2008 at 2:55 pm

he injects what he wants, i smoke what i want. deal? deal.

TGY October 14, 2008 at 3:06 pm

[re=133149]Servo[/re]: Hey, Botox is no longer just for old ladies, as that ancient Jib-Jab flash movie on Kerry vs. Bush carefully explains.

Ilikepigeons October 14, 2008 at 4:04 pm

say it ain’t so joe

Anita Cocktail October 14, 2008 at 4:19 pm

Are you fucking kidding me? Three words: John McCain’s forehead. It’s a friggin Botox farm up there.

CooterMarie October 14, 2008 at 4:22 pm

I think he looks pretty.

badco/LoJ October 14, 2008 at 4:23 pm

Hey, Botox was the only thing keeping John Kerry from looking like that mask from “Scream”.

Lascauxcaveman October 14, 2008 at 4:42 pm

[re=133230]obfuscator[/re]: Yeah, he’s as orange and fake as Charlie Crist in photo 2. I like how elderly men are still (even in this day and age) are allowed to mature with dignity. So I give Joe a ‘fail’ on this one. Suck it up and be a man, Joe. Plastic surgery and chemicals is for the wymmenz.

I still plan on voting for you, but it’s not a looks-based vote in your case.

AnnieGetYourFun October 14, 2008 at 5:00 pm

Jesus, he’s starting to look like a thin Fred Thompson in that picture on the right. Bleh. Botox isn’t so horrific if used sparingly. I’m afraid Joe bought the ten-punch card for Botox and then decided to utilize all the syringes at once.

Ilikepigeons October 14, 2008 at 7:33 pm

terrorist botox!

windupbird October 14, 2008 at 8:39 pm

[re=133230]obfuscator[/re]: Was thinking the same thing. Why do people do this to themselves?

AxmxZ October 14, 2008 at 11:48 pm

He Botoxed his scowl away.

ivenson October 14, 2008 at 11:53 pm

[re=133317]nosnikreplliw[/re]: WIN

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