Wonkette
Did you know that some Christian dingbat has dubbed today the “Day of Prayer for the World’s Economies?” Well here they are, at the Wall Street bull statue thing, praying to Jesus for money. The dingbat has explained, “We are going to intercede at the site of the statue of the bull on Wall Street to ask God to begin a shift from the bull and bear markets to what we feel will be the ‘Lion’s Market,’ or God’s control over the economic systems.” Don’t they know that God taking over the economic systems would be SOCIALISM from SPACE? Also: God will be very mad that they are worshiping a bronze idol here, since his second commandment PROHIBITS THAT, duh? Thank you Wonkette operative “Dan the Man” for the sexy photo. [CBN]
UPDATE: We have more terrifying photos of this idolatry, plus frightening video!
APOCALYPSE
Are you sure this isn’t just a remake of “The Ten Commandments”?
CRAVEN much?
I *thought* this kind of behavior was addresses in “The 10 Commandmants”.
Worshiping a golden calf?
The more I learn about evangelical conservatives, the more I realize that they never, ever read the bible.
moses sez: FAIL!
The 2nd commandment does not take precedence over the health of my 401k.
First Chuck in a loincloth and now the Bull. Is Yul Brenner gonna show up somewhere on wonkette today, too?
One Yield Regular: Jinx
I think cupping the balls is permitted if you’re a Mormon.
You can’t spell ‘Kommandments’ without ‘tank.’ WHY ISN’T THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA COVERING THIS?
Hey, I already saw this movie! But more importantly, have these people ever actually read the New Testament?
Oh, the majority and their silly “God”. Don’t they know to pray to Michael Savage? He alone holds the key to everything.
Where’s Charlton Heston when you need him?
Oh. Never mind.
“The love of money is the root of all evil” something something something “worshipping the false god Mammon” something something something, I forget most of it, it’s a big book.
They really should ask the Jews that were with Moses about how that whole bull-worshipping thing worked out the last time…
One Yield Regular: teebob2000: Will there be smiting? Please let there be smiting!
Hmmph. They must’ve started praying at around 3:15 and stopped around 3:45, judging by the last hour of the Dow. Either that or Jesus is a commie.
Did these people not SEE the “10 Commandments”?? Don’t they know that praying to that thing with the horns, hooves, and gigantic brass harbls will bring Yul Brenner and his horde of angry ancient Egyptian pagan sodomites into their childrens’ kindergarten classrooms looking for first-borns and twinkies?
ok i wanna know whos underneath rubbin the bronze balls, everybody knows thats where the *real* power is at in this false idol, ive never seen this thing in person, does it have balls? and if so are they big? what about a schlong does it have a schlong?
Where’s your God now, Moses?
Actually god gets mad if the idols are made from anything but gold. You see, god is a total capitalist. He believes in the gold standard and the republican/christian way of greed. Only they call it blessings.
They understand that the bull statue there doesn’t actually control money on Wall Street, right? That’s why we have Jews. Why don’t you lay some hands on them?
condour75: Jesus was a socialist. Paul was a communist.
Great idea Jesusfreaks! I hope it works! Keep up the good works. (Also, is anyone asking God why He made this mess in the first place, since He can intervene to fix it well? COuld it be that God is also IN THE TANK for Obama?????)
Didn’t God smite the Israelites for this kind of shit? Moses was sure pissed. And that was just a golden calf.
My favorite bible verse: Deuteronomy 23:1 “No one whose testicles are crushed or whose male organ is cut off shall enter the assembly of the Lord.
I want to go to the Super Bowl and hold that verse up on a sign. Like the John 3:16 dude.
ColdCupofHope: Win. As long as I get Gina Gershon.
Y’all know there were originally 15 COMMANDMENTS…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4TAtRCJIqnk
Ever get the idea that Jeebus Freaks are just a little retarded?
Holy cow.
remember these insane sky wizard believers also control the stock market…………………..
Dear Jesus, more monies, plz
teebob2000: You *pineapple*. Dictator Barry insists.
Stone them.
Damn. All the good biblical jokes are already taken.
condour75: Yeah, the arrow is red and it’s pointing downward. It’s a sign from the Lord to those fake Christians, and it looks like He sayeth to them, “Go to Hell.” (Sorry Lord, I hope that wasn’t a bad thing to say.)
I’ll lay 10:1 on the guy who’s grasping the false idol’s hornthingy being a closet Larry-Craig-style glory-hole-wanker.
Exodus 20:
1 Then God spoke all these words. He said,
2 ‘I am Yahweh your God who brought you out of Egypt, where you lived as slaves.
3 ‘You shall have no other gods to rival me.
4 ‘You shall not make yourself a carved image or any likeness of anything in heaven above or on earth beneath or in the waters under the earth.
5 ‘You shall not bow down to them or serve them. For I, Yahweh your God, am a jealous God and I punish a parent’s fault in the children, the grandchildren, and the great-grandchildren among those who hate me;
They are all doom
Wow. Jesus freaks not understanding the irony of praying to a Golden Calf.
Truculent: Yeah, nuts, I should have looked harder instead of done Control-F.
Typical douche bags. They think that praying will solve the problem rather than actually working to do something about it themselves. I know for the most part that the economy and it’s direction is out of their hands but this is the same shit these people do for CANCER.
Manchu: There isn’t any little to it, they are full blown, delusionaly retarded. Every last one of them. Maybe if they pray hard enough though, the lord savior will make them smart. Seriously, WTF.
Truculent: Why don’t they all start turning tricks? The money would arrive quicker.
Ten points for the ‘Socialism from Space’ line.
Did that dude with beard come along and throw out the money-changers again?
If they need a blood sacrifice, may I suggest Lieberman?
FILL IN THE BLANK:
“Jumping The Shark” is to Television Shows
AS
“Touching The Bull” is to ____________________
They need a community organizer, like Jeebus was.
If only you could turn stupid into a commodity. The Dow Jones would be at 15,000 right now.
If I wake up tomorrow, and the Burger King costume dude is speaking from the Oval Office, I will repent my evil ways, for verily this prayer will have worked.
If he is merely waking up with shortshortshorts in that TV commercial giving him breakfast, I will know it was the clams.
StripesAndPlaids: excellent book and verse s&p, but sounds so much more glorious in the KJV “He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD”
MarieDeGournay: wrong all they need is iron chariots
3dollarbill: I second this motion. I’m thinking the face-open shot of Yul from Westworld.
The second Commandment says nothing about bulls, as any good Christian will tell you. No sir, you heathen, every good, God (YHWH) fearing American Christian knows that the 2nd commandment is all about worshiping GUNS and being able to take them anywhere you want!
nuckingfutz: It’s good to be the king!
Speakin’ of signs of the End Times: http://www.politico.com/blogs/jonathanmartin/1008/Lost_Cause_enthusiasts_for_Obama.html?showall
Truculent:
But the market went up 890 points yesterday for no reason!
And today the Lord Almighty made the Dow go under 9000 again!
http://www.bloomberg.com/?b=0&Intro=intro3
And THAT is a comedic gold mine!
Praying to a bronze bull sure takes some brass balls. Wonder if that bad boy has truck nutz?
facehead: sodomy.
Does actual Christianity exist anymore? Or is it more or less these kooks walking around touching bull statues, etc.
I’m not surprised, but I thought it would take a little longer to get to this.
I’ve seen it before on a smaller level (still scary).
Cape Clod:
Problem is they did which is why everything is so wonderful right now…
Pat Robertson told me about the Lion’s Market economy years ago. Basically it involves getting your friends to sell vitamin supplements for you and also investing in slave labor whorediamond mines in Liberia. With God there is no cap! http://www.newsweek.com/id/108441
This is more ironic than that Mormon preacher who dressed that girl up in a burqa.
monty: Yeah, that Merrill Lynch commercial for the worshipful bull has a huge schlong that sways robustly from side to side as it frolics across the plains of the real America.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BN-WE461cGc
facehead: Public Piety
Isn’t Jesus the Original Socialist?
Roman Catholics feel soooo superior right now…
and it seems like just yesterday that Obama parted the seas so his supporters could get to their cars after the Pennsylvania rally….
“Verily I say unto you, that a rich man shall hardly enter into the kingdom of heaven. And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God”
Matthew 19 verses 23-24
Why is it that the atheist knows this and these fundie ass-clowns don’t?
After they sacrifice Lieberman to the golden calf…
stone them.
Mista Eko: Einstein said “God does not play dice with the universe.” But he didn’t say anything about God running a litle pump and dump scam to gin up some quick cash. But yeah, the colossal irony of Christians praying to a golden bull is really interesting.
Those christians sure love the beef. I want the pix of the one guy who broke his teeth trying to bite through the leg.
magic titty: Im going with kooks walking around. http://www.fstdt.com/fundies/latestcomments.aspx?archive=1
time to exodus
StripesAndPlaids: Hmmm.. maybe John McCain’s “scars” actually prevent him from going to church!
facehead: Immanentizing the Eschaton
Wow. Just…. Wow.
Way to read your book, bible bangers.
Thank Bob that I still have my slack.
Because that worked SO well here in Atlanta, when Sonny Perdue asked us all to pray for rain during the drought.
Fuckers.
Oh, and I’d like to add that these are not Jesus people, though they would claim so themselves.
According to historical stuff, Jesus was totally not in to this kind of crap.
Dear God, (aka Wakan Tanka)
Years ago, you promised your chosen people that great herd of Buffalo would return one day to push the white man back into the sea. Please, God, tell the buffalo to hurry the fuck up.
Amen
I love the one old guy stroking the bull’s horn… I’ve seen that grip before!
So, hey, is there a statue of a BEAR there, too? Bull and bear. Only natural.
Also, that pic reminds me like a bit of the Running of the Bulls in Lesser Buttfuckistan or wherever. Pomplona? Pimplona? Pumpkinola? Somewhere.
WhatTheHeck: God is a Paultard?
TGY: Sadly, the bear that is not there, is the famous Zero the Polar Bear who is protesting Sarah Palin’s pick. The fact that he is in a moat is a message from the Almighty warning us that we will be returning to feudalism if McCain wins.
WhatTheHeck: Sure, also God gets irate if a sperm is wasted. Unless, of course, it goes into the gold idol.
I thought the 2nd commandment was “Thou Shalt Keep and Bear Arms.”
That fucking Bull is in Bowling Green, not Wall Street, so maybe these people stole the bull and took it to wall street? Former Bear Stearns employees? Someone stop them?
I have today accepted Hermes as my personal Saviour.
nurple: Even lapsed ones!!!!
Worlds End: That made my face hurt.
That is one of the few times in life when the presence of a ventriloquist could have been really, REALLY funny.
StripesAndPlaids: Here’s my fave–Ezekiel 23:20
“There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.”
Nothing about bulls, though. (Or bears.) Pity.
So they’re praying to a giant bronzed cow for money…
These are the same people who think gays will burn because the Bible says so, yes?
Aurelio: That was a long time ago. The Golden Calf is all grown up now, and he’s got a gig on Wall Street.
azw88: I’m a little wary of a Wikipedia entry that quotes Jonah Goldberg, ol’ Doughy Pantload himself, as a source.
The Baptist in me [no, THAT is not what I mean!] takes absolute umbrage at this idol worship.
If this ain’t somebody pranking Christians, this has to be the absolute strangest event ever. I bang my head at the ignorance and hypocrisy. I bang my head. I bang my head.
Has the fellow with the flip cam managed to post this on YouTube yet?
StripesAndPlaids: Shouldn’t that be Neuteronomy 23:1 ?
Can I leave a Golden Calf comment as well? Because I thought it was wicked clever, and I’d like it if all these other comments wouldn’t detract from that.
In all seriousness, this Bull has HUGE balls!
http://image62.webshots.com/62/5/5/0/526750500BNSPGr_ph.jpg
Dear Lord,
Please reinflate our bubble so that we may continue borrowing until the rapture.
chaste everywhere: That’s not really in the Bible is it? Donkey dicks?
PoliTacky: Maybe they aren’t Christians// maybe they are really just a bunch of PETA-tards protesting the wearing of leather and the eating of hamburger helper, shich is soon to be a staple in every american household in this new golbal-clusterfucked economy.
lumpenprole:
Wait a second…
Dear Golden Bull, ruler of Earth and the Electronic Money Horde,
Please reinflate our bubble so that we may continue borrowing until the Great Heavenly Shopping Trip. Have mercy on your worshippers for we have brought you sacrifices of great value - a Mercedes coupe, this iPhone, the deed to a Ranch House located outside Stockton and a crate of bottled water.
Looks like the running of the bulls for the kids on the short bus
McLiar and Paleshit all they do is create whackjobs not real jobs.
change they believe in.. *sigh*
It’s like Christians just pick and choose which Bible verses are applicable. Someone should remind them what happened the last time monotheists turned to a golden calf in trouble times. Hooray 4 Olde Tymey Relijun!
You know, as a Christian, I have to say…it’s just…this is so…i mean…really…this, this…
azw88: Soon, they’re going to have to change the na