• February 14, 2012
  • Meet your new battleground state, the People’s Republic of Alaska, where a full 50% of the non-elk population was birthed by Sarah Palin. [Daily Kos]
  • National Review lady Kathryn Jean Lopez has tattletaled on local Soviet madrassa Beldevere Elementary School, to Beldevere Elementary School, for electing Barack Obama the president of grades K thru 5. [The Corner]
  • Whoever leaked the stuff about Obama’s immigrant aunt seeking asylum is in big trouble, as revealing this sort of thing is illegal. [TPMMuckraker]
  • When asked why there aren’t more minorities are her rallies, Palin replies that Husband Todd is an Alaskan and nonsensically concludes “We live it.” [Ben Smith]
  • No one is showing up to McCain’s sad Floridian rallies, least of all Charlie Crist, who mysteriously left early. [CNN Political Ticker]

{ 39 comments }

ManchuCandidate November 3, 2008 at 4:02 pm

Silly me. Is Alaskan ‘Tard a minority group now?

Serolf Divad November 3, 2008 at 4:02 pm

Todd Palin is a minority up in Alaska… compared to what? Caribou? Wolves? Surely not rednecks.

StephanieInCA November 3, 2008 at 4:02 pm

You know what would get folks to Walnuts’ Florida rallies? Election Bingo! http://urbzen.com/2008/11/03/election-bingo/

There’s nothin the ol blue-hairs like better than bingo, I’lltellyouwhat.

Electric Zen November 3, 2008 at 4:04 pm

Another guy who didn’t have to support civil rights because he “lives it”: Strom Thurmond.

SelfDeprecatingFed November 3, 2008 at 4:04 pm

My friend is hungry, and I know how to make a sandwich. I live it.

SayItWithWookies November 3, 2008 at 4:05 pm

Hey Sarah — Alaska does have minorities. They’ve been there for 17,000 years or so.

TGY November 3, 2008 at 4:05 pm

Why would old people in Florida go to any rally?

And ‘We live it’? Is there some sort of Palin lexicon that makes sense of her garbled shit?

norbizness November 3, 2008 at 4:07 pm

Let us make a commitment to never again link the National Review after the election is over. Let them babble to themselves like the occupants of the mental institution in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. Hell, I already imagine John Derbyshire as the Christopher Lloyd character.

cal November 3, 2008 at 4:07 pm

“Non-elk “?

Racist!

FreshCliches November 3, 2008 at 4:07 pm

Of COURSE Crist early – he saw WALNUTS!, fantasized about Caribou Barbie, and gave Kitty Harris a booty call.

SayItWithWookies November 3, 2008 at 4:08 pm

Crist couldn’t hang around ’cause he just remembered there’s a 30-day return policy on the engagement ring.

Larry Fine November 3, 2008 at 4:08 pm

The White Man is the minority now.

Friqasaurus November 3, 2008 at 4:08 pm

Ya those Alaskan Secessionists have it rough.. They’re a minority.

srpen November 3, 2008 at 4:10 pm

It is my pleasure to introduce the first native Hawaiian president of the United States, Barack Obama.

Mahousu November 3, 2008 at 4:11 pm

Hey, Charlie Crist is very busy with his wedding preparations, so you can’t expect him to just hang out at Grandpa’s rallies. I mean, those doilies and napkins are not going to match themselves, after all.

slappypaddy November 3, 2008 at 4:11 pm

Alaskans are minorities, everyone knows that. They all are born to parents age 17 or under. It’s the law!

Josh Fruhlinger November 3, 2008 at 4:12 pm

The comment about her husband relates to the fact that he is part Eskimo (1/8th, according to Wikipedia). I’m frankly surprised that this hasn’t been played up more, seeing as Eskimos are America’s most beloved minority group (or are at least obscure enough that there are very few anti-Eskimo bigots).

mattbolt November 3, 2008 at 4:13 pm

Ok, who speaks Palinese? I swear, in a hundred years antropologists will find the Rosetta stone of her lost language, buried somewhere in the Alaskan tundra, with translations between common English and her garbled bullshit. And only then will scientists know what the hell “We live it” has to do with the straightforward question “Why are your white trash hate-parties void of anyone with skin darker than a Crayola beige crayon”

magic titty November 3, 2008 at 4:15 pm

Can Barack get his shit together and address this story they’re pimping out, about coal, or whatever. Why hasn’t his campaign addressed this??

StrangelyBrown November 3, 2008 at 4:15 pm

[re=161511]TGY[/re]: A Palin lexicon? Here it is: every unscripted word that comes out of Sarah Palin’s mouth in response to a question a convoluted way of saying “I don’t know” while, at the same time, exasperating the questioner to the point where he or she doesn’t even want an answer anymore, and would rather just crawl under a rock and die.

WhatTheHeck November 3, 2008 at 4:16 pm

[re=161510]SayItWithWookies[/re]:
Get real, Wookies. Alaska is only 5,000 years old.

And why the hell would the S.S.arah Palin want minorities close to her?
They are the ones who will be left behind, and consequently, worthless in the sight of the lord.

Just Live it!

Tra November 3, 2008 at 4:20 pm

Wow. That is seriously like fifty pictures of an Obama sign outside an elementary school. From all different angles. Which is impressive, because being a sign, it really only has two angles.

Woman, we got the point with the first picture. It’s a sign. OUTSIDE AN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL.

!!!!!!OH NOES!!!11111111111ELEVENTYBILLION1111111s.

The Corner meltdown on Nov. 4, please God, will be the most beautiful thing in history. I predict mass suicide.

Neon Trotsky November 3, 2008 at 4:31 pm

[re=161562]Tra[/re]: I think we all know the importance of the critical Elementary School Voting Bloc…

nurple November 3, 2008 at 4:32 pm

John Derbyshire DID write a good book on algebra, which I’m halfway through.

Czn939 November 3, 2008 at 4:33 pm

If McCain loses, I want Palin to declare the foundation of the
Elk People’s Democratic Republic of Alaskanistan!

Naked Bunny with a Whip November 3, 2008 at 4:34 pm

where a full 50% of the non-elk population was birthed by Sarah Palin.

And the other 50% by her daughter, Trigger.

Anyway, this is great news, even though Alaska doesn’t actually get any votes. (Don’t tell them!!)

Come here a minute November 3, 2008 at 4:43 pm

[re=161515]cal[/re]: ,,never a N__-__k in the white house period.

Theta November 3, 2008 at 4:50 pm

That poll is probably just an outlier.

A funny, funny outlier that I will be passing on to all of my friends, accompanied with text like “BWAHAHAHAHAHAFAIL!”

Texas XXXs November 3, 2008 at 5:05 pm

That K-Lo post is an obvious forgery, the Obama sign is photoshopped in there, the school sign is a fakey mcfakerson – anyone with 30 seconds and the internet can set that up:

http://www.freeimagehosting.net/uploads/fe56c28a82.jpg

I expect a full investigation. Contact the Corner department of vital statistics to confirm if such a sign ever existed and why there are such obvious contradictions with known examples of Belvedere signs . . . developing . . .

donner_froh November 3, 2008 at 6:02 pm

[re=161562]Tra[/re]: We would never be that lucky.

Tra November 3, 2008 at 6:59 pm

[re=161932]donner_froh[/re]:

Perhaps just heads asploding.

Tra November 3, 2008 at 7:00 pm

[re=161592]Neon Trotsky[/re]: The tank lured them with juiceboxes and cookies.

AlexTrebeksGirl November 3, 2008 at 7:30 pm

Are we allowed to be e-mailing Ms.Lopez with e-mails like “Are you related to J-LO?” Please let me know if anyone else is e-mailing this fine woman of good character and grace.

gliberal November 3, 2008 at 9:55 pm

The Poles just closed in Juneau. Also the Serbs and the Croats. And Bristol, she has huge tracts of land.

DustBowlBlues November 3, 2008 at 10:07 pm

Off topic, but fuck the Wonkettatti editors for not asking the question to which I have the best answer.

Who scored the best bootleg sign? I had one Obama/Biden sign left in the trunk (I had to buy mine) and on the way home from the umpteenth hour of getting ready for the fucking church dinner I have to work at all day tomorrow I took a quiet road home and passed the Pentecostal church that’s the fastest growing one in this town. Hmmm….

Yep, I kind of tucked it in next to their fence on the border of their property, so you can see it from the road but not the church. Those Holy Rollers are totally in the tank.

1ofUS November 3, 2008 at 10:09 pm

I’m now official running around like a head with my chicken cut off and crying “brrraaaak! burrrrraaaaaacccckkkkkkk, brk brk braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak!!”

fuckinredneck November 3, 2008 at 10:33 pm

I didn’t know Todd Palin was a colored person!

Our local Dennys would definitely make him wait at least thirty minutes for a table.

slappypaddy November 3, 2008 at 11:31 pm

[re=162251]DustBowlBlues[/re]: You get a fist bump for that. And a complementary pair of Truk Nutz.

aleks November 3, 2008 at 11:50 pm

[re=161502]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Not in Alaska.

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