• February 15, 2012


Here is motherfucking Eddie Murphy, live on stage in Washington a quarter century ago telling a crazy humor fiction NOT SAFE FOR WORK story about the First Black President. Thanks Coates! [YouTube]

{ 56 comments }

problemwithcaring November 4, 2008 at 2:35 pm

So much of Chris Rocks first two stand-up specials predicted this campaign.

DarkSynergy November 4, 2008 at 2:36 pm

I love the red leather suit!

Theta November 4, 2008 at 2:36 pm

Most white supremacists have delusions of competence and are being closely monitored by the FBI and ATF. That said, I do expect a few “well-organized” attempts on Barry’s life that will end in ignominous failure and martyrdom in the bitter community.

StephanieInCA November 4, 2008 at 2:37 pm

OMG, where have I seen that outfit before? Wait… YES! http://urbzen.com/2008/10/21/now-in-moose-blood-red/

I wonder if Eddie “borrowed” it from the RNC?

Hairy Reed November 4, 2008 at 2:37 pm

I’d be a lot more amused by this if it didn’t raise some of my own fears.

ManchuCandidate November 4, 2008 at 2:38 pm

Then Eddie Murphy blew it by singing “Party All the Time” and morphed into a CGI donkey.

mattbolt November 4, 2008 at 2:39 pm

So exactly when will it sink in that tomorrow, America will have elected a GODDAMN BLACK PRESIDENT HOLY SHIT

Dave J. November 4, 2008 at 2:39 pm

[re=163624]Theta[/re]: Delusions of competence, yes. That and a crippling addiction to meth.

denner November 4, 2008 at 2:39 pm

What’s up with his pants (crotch). Also, that’s really scary.

Serolf Divad November 4, 2008 at 2:40 pm

Oh, God I feel old now.

mattbolt November 4, 2008 at 2:41 pm

Call up the Vatican and buy a spare Popemobile, I want Barry’s ass riding around in a bulletproof bubble at all times.

We can even call it the Hopemobile!

norbizness November 4, 2008 at 2:44 pm

“Hey! I’ve got this project coming up called The Golden Child? Should I take it?”

Gob November 4, 2008 at 2:44 pm

I bet absolutely no one thought that red suit would stand the test of time, and yet . . . it works. Obama should consider it for the Inaugural.

NoWireHangers November 4, 2008 at 2:45 pm

My Prez wants to party all the time

Party all the time
party all the time.
My Prez wants to party all the time
party all the time!

mattbolt November 4, 2008 at 2:47 pm

Barry should call up P Diddy and get some rapper-level security. I mean, sure, Presidents have the occasional wingnut or Jodie Foster fan take a half-assed potshot at them, but rappers have entire gangs of heavily-armed people trying to take them out every day. Think of how many people were gunning for Puffy’s head after everything with Tupac and Biggie, and the bastard still got out of the 90s alive. Now THAT’S a security detail.

Gopherit November 4, 2008 at 2:48 pm

[re=163621]DarkSynergy[/re]: So did Palin.

FreshCliches November 4, 2008 at 2:48 pm

LOVE this concert; too bad Luther Vandross, or better yet, James Brown aren’t around any more to sing the National Anthem at the inaugural.

That’s the best I’ve got, since all you bastards beat me to the red leather/Palin references.

hockeymom November 4, 2008 at 2:49 pm

What’s the story with that weird belt thing? I don’t remember that ever being in style.

ph7 November 4, 2008 at 2:50 pm

[re=163668]mattbolt[/re]: True dat. Not to mention most of the Secret Service detail live in Woodbridge and live and breath right wing read meat. If I’m Obama, I’d sure want to hand pick my team.

Itsjustme November 4, 2008 at 2:50 pm

CNN — Tucker Bounds!

capt. tim November 4, 2008 at 2:51 pm

and now days you can’t get him to appear in a movie unless he gets to wear a fat suit.

Monkey November 4, 2008 at 2:52 pm

Let’s all just enjoy the imminent victory. We’ll have the next 4 years of anxiety drugs to deal with redneck menace.

Lorax November 4, 2008 at 2:54 pm

Off-topic, but I just watched McCain end a rally with “Here I Go” from WHITESNAKE blaring over the loudspeakers.

I’ve done my share of advance work, but this choice of song is rather puzzling. He’s just asked all of us to stand together with him and fight, and then here he goes again…on his own?

I guess he’s going down the only road he’s over known? Like a drifter, he was born to walk alone? He knows what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams?

Or maybe it’s a subtle reminder that he holds the only white snake in the race?

Is this over yet? Just what I needed: Tawny Kitaen flashbacks.

StephanieInCA November 4, 2008 at 2:55 pm

[re=163648]mattbolt[/re]: Agree completely. That’s why I’ve been pushing this whole time for Barry to make his public appearances enclosed in a giant, bulletproof hamster ball: http://urbzen.com/2008/10/28/secret-service-obama-to-campaign-in-giant-bulletproof-hamster-ball/

serj! November 4, 2008 at 2:55 pm

OK listen I cried real tears when I voted for Obama today–the election workers were like what’s wrong–cause I as black man never thought I’d live to see this day. Sorry no snark is available from me but feel free to carry on babies!

AngryBlakGuy November 4, 2008 at 2:55 pm

…don’t worry everyone Axel Foley is on the case!

serj! November 4, 2008 at 2:59 pm

[re=163697]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: And damn I’m gonna nominate you for an f’in Nobel Prize for your role in all this ABG!

dano November 4, 2008 at 3:01 pm

[re=163697]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: …or Ashley Todd

Monkey November 4, 2008 at 3:01 pm

[re=163697]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: On a more practical and somber note: Why do all your comments begin with an ellipsis?

SuperRounder November 4, 2008 at 3:04 pm

No Denny Terrio in this story? BOOOO!!!!

PopeyesPipe November 4, 2008 at 3:05 pm

I just love that Joe Piscopo!

AngryBlakGuy November 4, 2008 at 3:06 pm

[re=163707]Monkey[/re]: …the “ellipsis” signify me rousing from a alcohol induced stupor to add my 2 cents to any conversation. Now someone please make the room stop spinning.

The Station Manager November 4, 2008 at 3:07 pm

[re=163661]NoWireHangers[/re]: I was thinking of “Boogie In Your Butt”.
Put the ballot, in your butt and so forth.

Also, apparently some fucking morons out there are running around polling places with plungers in honor of some Joe guy who is not, in fact, a plummer: http://abclocal.go.com/ktrk/story?section=news/politics&id=6486676&rss=rss-ktrk-article-6486676

Dave J. November 4, 2008 at 3:09 pm

[re=163716]The Station Manager[/re]: Probably the last thing in the world I’d accept from a Republican would be a toilet plunger he pulled out of the trunk of his car and handed to me.

AngryBlakGuy November 4, 2008 at 3:09 pm

…”Pope-Mobiles” are so passe, we need to get him something like a Gundam or Battle-Mech or maybe even a AT-AT Walker?! If anyone needs me I will be in my mothers basement playing WoW, IM me if you need me.

fuckinredneck November 4, 2008 at 3:10 pm

[re=163668]mattbolt[/re]: I agree. In fact, I wonder why more secret service guys aren’t gigantic black men. You’d think that a giant man would be a much better bullet shield than the regular sized dudes they have on guard.

Lionel Hutz Esq. November 4, 2008 at 3:12 pm

Ah, back when Eddie Murphy was funny. One of the advantages of having an insane white guy as President.
[re=163642]Serolf Divad[/re]:

You want to feel old, last weekend Joe Piscopo was Fox, and he looks like he should be on the beech in Florida with a metal detector. And then he started talking about his grown children….

problemwithcaring November 4, 2008 at 3:12 pm

See – and people tried to hint things about Barry’s sexuality because he is always at the gym with his BFF. I think this proves he’s not gay, he just likes butt-sex in the sauna. Wait, wha-?

Arturo Bandini November 4, 2008 at 3:12 pm

The red suit stands the test of time much better than the purple one from “Raw.”

nuckingfutz November 4, 2008 at 3:14 pm

[re=163658]Gob[/re]: Word.

Robbertjan November 4, 2008 at 3:15 pm

well don’t ant to get all sentimental and stuff but:

Rosa Parks sat, so Martin Luther King Jr. could march, so Barack Obama can run, so our children can fly.

The Station Manager November 4, 2008 at 3:16 pm

[re=163719]Dave J.[/re]: I’m sure there’s some way to have them locked up for sexual harassment or something.

JohnnyMeatworth November 4, 2008 at 3:18 pm

[re=163672]FreshCliches[/re]: that’s all right, there’s still “Chocolate City” by Parliament.

‘Cause I love you, C.C.

whatever_dc November 4, 2008 at 3:18 pm

[re=163716]The Station Manager[/re]: that was rich! and of course river oaks is where all teh rich peoples in houston live! notice that every fucking car in that piece was a monster SUV??? driving in houston in a smallish car is taking your life into your own hands!

one of the right wing radio talk show comedians (they’ve all morphed together so i don’t remember which one right now) is trying to drum up support for a million plumber march on washington. i can’t wait — a million butt cracks showing all together on the national mall!

Violenza November 4, 2008 at 3:24 pm

[re=163640]denner[/re]: Where’s Michael Kors when ya need him?

yellowbug November 4, 2008 at 3:24 pm

[re=163730]Robbertjan[/re]: That’s a great line. No snark.

sansabelt November 4, 2008 at 3:27 pm

Is he wearing one of his balls on the outside of his pants?

FreshCliches November 4, 2008 at 3:32 pm

[re=163747]JohnnyMeatworth[/re]: Go ahead – MAKE my funk the P-Funk!

seriesoftubescleaner November 4, 2008 at 3:33 pm

[re=163773]yellowbug[/re]: Yeah, it was great the first time I heard it when Jay-Z said it.
“WHAT MORE CAN I SAY!”

Robbertjan November 4, 2008 at 3:43 pm

[re=163773]yellowbug[/re]: and there is so much truth in it.

Robbertjan November 4, 2008 at 3:48 pm

[re=163797]seriesoftubescleaner[/re]: it’s a Jay-Z line? hehe, I just heard it on CNN said by a afro-american priest.

Jay-Z FTW!

Oh hell to the no November 4, 2008 at 3:50 pm

[re=163721]fuckinredneck[/re]: Because they don’t want to get themselves killed for some white dude who doesn’t give a fuck about them? Oh, did I say that out loud? Yes. Yes, I did.

sarahconnor November 4, 2008 at 4:00 pm

[re=163720]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Heh, AT-AT… but that may be too “dark side”… I think Hopey would look good in an X-Wing or landspeeder myselfs…

greatgooglymoogly November 4, 2008 at 4:30 pm

[re=163696]serj![/re]:

“May God bless and keep you always,
May your wishes all come true,
May you always do for others
And let others do for you.
May you build a ladder to the stars
And climb on every rung,
May you stay forever young.”

And may this long held wish come true …

serj! November 4, 2008 at 5:28 pm

[re=164018]greatgooglymoogly[/re]: word bitch–oh and no offense intended

Revmachine21 November 5, 2008 at 3:44 am

Eddie Murphy has some seriously small feet… we all know what that means.

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