• February 12, 2012

'Listen, whoever comes to you with this Barzini meeting, he's the traitor.'Barack Obama’s favorite movie is The Godfather, and today he gets to recreate the scene in which Abe Vigoda begs forgiveness for his crimes against the Family, and dashing young monster Michael Corleone offers exile in Las Vegas, but then has Vigoda savagely assassinated on the way to the airport. This will happen in Chicago today, basically, but clueless old McCain is being lured to Obama’s lair with false rumors of a cabinet appointment.

McCain is bringing worthless old fag Lindsey Graham to the meeting. Rahm Emanuel will be there to kill them both.

Former foes on Obama’s radar [Boston Globe]

{ 87 comments }

Doglessliberal November 17, 2008 at 1:03 pm

Look, WALNUTS!, do not, I repeat, do NOT sit in the front passenger seat when Emmanuel suggests “we all go for a ride to see the pretty fall colors”.

TGY November 17, 2008 at 1:03 pm

“Yous ain’t been showin’ the proper respect…”

queeraselvis v 2.0 November 17, 2008 at 1:04 pm

He will be named ambassador to Trollopia, in the High Court of St. Cunty.

MathewBrooks November 17, 2008 at 1:06 pm

Rahm Emanuel seems like the type to use piano wire.

lawrenceofthedesert November 17, 2008 at 1:07 pm

“I thought it was Hillary, but Johnny, it was you all along.” (KISS)

HuskyMescan November 17, 2008 at 1:07 pm

Rahm: The old man and the old fag sleep with the fishes, Don Obama.

hockeymom November 17, 2008 at 1:09 pm

[re=178376]MathewBrooks[/re]: I’m concerned he doesn’t have enough hand strength to properly pull the wire taut.

clover November 17, 2008 at 1:09 pm

But wait… Is Barry just gonna hires his frenemies? Are they not my frenemies too? Is Barry, therefore, my frenemy as well? A team of frenemies sounds like an episode of Degrassi, and definitely not change we need…

shortsshortsshorts November 17, 2008 at 1:10 pm

KEN LAYNE? IS THAT REALLY YOU? WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN I AM JONESING WELCOME BACK TO HERE AND THE COMING SOCIALIST NAZI TERRORIST ALL CAPS rEVOLution!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!

mmnothanks November 17, 2008 at 1:10 pm

Didn’t this exact same thing happen on West Wing? Right before Santos made Vinick Secretary of State? Noooooo!

ManchuCandidate November 17, 2008 at 1:10 pm

“Barry, nothing personal. It was just bidnez.”

gurukalehuru November 17, 2008 at 1:11 pm

Lincoln may have appointed his enemies to his cabinet, but they were SMART enemies.
Let McCain go back to Arizona and die in peace. Preferably, soon.

Capitol Hillbilly November 17, 2008 at 1:11 pm

He will be named to the Cabinet of Dr. Caligari.

shanemcgowan November 17, 2008 at 1:13 pm

From sleeping like a baby to sleeping with the fishes.

Godot November 17, 2008 at 1:15 pm

“Leave the gun. Take the arugula.”

Monkey November 17, 2008 at 1:15 pm

Let them live. It will more painful for those two to watch their careers dwindle into irrelevance while Obama soars.

azw88 November 17, 2008 at 1:15 pm

It was Michael’s brother-in-law that was ‘offed’ in the car on his way to the airport and Las Vegas. Tessia (Abe V.) was outed as a traitor, telling Tom Hagen, “tell Michael, it was only business, I always liked him” and then asking Hagen to get him out of it.

This makes Obama Michael Corleone and Joe Leiberman is Abe Vigoda (who is Jewish… a coincidence??? I think NOT)

Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts! November 17, 2008 at 1:15 pm

Carlo Rizzi was the guy who Michael fake-offered exile in Vegas, but then had strangled by Clemenza in the car. Tom Hagen took care of the arrangements for Tessio (Vigoda).

Woodwards Friend November 17, 2008 at 1:16 pm

You are confusing Vigoda with Michael’s son-in-law. That’s who was killed on the way to Vegas. Rahm Emanuel should probably avoid the front seat for a while.

The Pumpernickel November 17, 2008 at 1:16 pm

I support throwing McCain a bone. The poor guy won’t be around for much longer anyway.

http://plightofthepumpernickel.blogspot.com

Woodwards Friend November 17, 2008 at 1:16 pm

I mean brother-in-law.

WadISay November 17, 2008 at 1:16 pm

To Barry, “having a sit-down” means meeting with. To McCain, it means a bowel movement.

GlennBecksTaint November 17, 2008 at 1:17 pm

There really should be only one motto for this new administration:

“What would Putin do?”

BitterDwarf November 17, 2008 at 1:17 pm

There is absolutely nothing to be gained by appointing McCain to anything. All the Republicans hate him now, too, so it’s not like he’d bring any influence over them. I’m guessing both Mr. Grahm and walnuts have “accidents” soon after the meeting…

Serolf Divad November 17, 2008 at 1:17 pm

I know it was you, Johnnie, you broke my heart… you broke my heart!

pem November 17, 2008 at 1:18 pm

please, rahm emanuel is michale corleone. obama is just jesus.

WIDTAP November 17, 2008 at 1:19 pm

Ladies and gentlemen, your new SecDef in 3…2…1….

psychedelicSludge November 17, 2008 at 1:19 pm

Obama/Rahm are classy and practical. They’ll hire McCain for the cabinet and just mail him a video of the Godfather.

Sassette November 17, 2008 at 1:19 pm

This is the best story on today’s meeting that I have seen by about FIVE AND A HALF YEARS.

sanantonerose November 17, 2008 at 1:20 pm

Rahm just takes fingers. So do I.

kimbongil November 17, 2008 at 1:22 pm

You know that picture of Walnuts catches him at his most dignified, I mean what would you look like if your butt bag blew up on stage of a Presidential debate. I think he held it together pretty good.

BigBrainOnBrad November 17, 2008 at 1:22 pm

That was Gianni Russo as brother-in-law Carlo Rizzi that was killed in the car after being offered exile in Vegas. Abe Vigoda as Tessio asks Tom Hagen if he can get him off the hook “for old times sake” before going quietly to his presumed but unseen demise.

cal November 17, 2008 at 1:24 pm

Department of Old Farts (DOF)

Anonymous Office Zombie November 17, 2008 at 1:24 pm

What cabinet appointment would NUMBNUTZ be qualified for, anyway? Cabinet of Facial Contortions? Cabinet of Terrible Decisions and Erratic Behavior? Cabinet of Crashing Planes?

How about instead we shove him in a cabinet and lock the doors… forever.

psychedelicSludge November 17, 2008 at 1:24 pm

Honestly, McCain these days looks like there’s a psionic twin in there who’s about to bust through his abdomen and start giving him orders. Or was that an actual Wonkette story last week.

FreshCliches November 17, 2008 at 1:27 pm

Next up, Palin pleads with Rahm:

“It ain’t the way I wanted it! I can handle things! I’m smaaht! Not like everybody says… like dumb… I’m smaaht and I want respect!”

Sarah, you’re nothing to us now.

WIDTAP November 17, 2008 at 1:27 pm

[re=178431]cal[/re]: In the future please use the full name of the department:
Department of Old Farts And Seniors.

hedgehog November 17, 2008 at 1:28 pm

[re=178429]BigBrainOnBrad[/re]: I’m thinking the Abe Vigoda character is played by Joe Lieberman in this version.

Cranky Little Camperette November 17, 2008 at 1:29 pm

He’ll offer Homeland Security and WALNUTS! will turn it down because Hopey wants to close Gitmo.

Suzanne November 17, 2008 at 1:29 pm

People say Rahmbo lost above the joint on is middle right-hand finger bc of a meat cutting accident. He just flipped off one mobster too many… Seriously, put McCain and Gore together as Czars to fight global warming… Why the hell not?

azw88 November 17, 2008 at 1:29 pm

Obama To Leiberman: “Joe, your an older Senator, and I love you, but don’t ever take sides against the Party again”

I want Obama to appoint Johnny-Mac to something. That way OUR governor can appoint our Sety of State Brewer to his seat, then SHE can take a post with the administration, making Terry Goddard, a dem, Governor. We need a Democrat for guv in this state to veto the shit out of moronic legislation.

If Janet leaves Arizona with a republican governor and the republican legislature, we are FUCKED! We have wacko Repubs here…. make Sarah Palin seem sane.

Arizona Republicans SUCK: We have John McCain.. you’ve heard of him…. and Jon Kyl who WANTS the auto industry to FAIL or at least go Chapter 11 to fuck over the unions and labor agreements. We had a legislator that proposed allowing guns in bars and another one that proposed allowing guns in schools. Janet N is the only person that has kept some dumbassed bills from becoming laws. She goes we are FUCKED!!

Min November 17, 2008 at 1:31 pm

[re=178404]Godot[/re]: Aww, you beat me to it.

WhatTheHeck November 17, 2008 at 1:32 pm

Send him to Georgia wit a kiss on the lips.
But where’s Palin? I thought McCain/Palin were a team.
She could be Secretary of Science czar.

Mustang November 17, 2008 at 1:32 pm

Okay, this is all funny and ha ha and stuff. BUT WHAT IF HE AS REALLY GOING TO OFFER HIM A POST?

NavinJohnson November 17, 2008 at 1:32 pm

So… if he appoints McNasty to SecDef, does Napolitano get to appoint the replacement? If so, this would be one of the most calculating and ballsy political maneuvers of my lifetime, muzzle another potential opponent and at the same time keep reforming the senate to his liking. You know that McNasty would kill for the opportunity to outrank his father and is just shortsighted and egomaniacal to take SecDef. Michael Corleone indeed.

Rush November 17, 2008 at 1:32 pm

Leave the old man, take the cannolie’s

freakishlystrong November 17, 2008 at 1:32 pm

[re=178421]WIDTAP[/re]: Oh, say it ain’t so..Jesus, look at the picture at the top of the post…that pic just never gets old…WALNUTS! however…

sati demise November 17, 2008 at 1:33 pm

[re=178421]WIDTAP[/re]: noooooo!???1/1/

But let Obama find something else for the Mac, like King of Earmark Regulation..
Then Janet Nepolitano will appoint a Az. Dem to the McCain seat in Congress.

Thought ‘the Godfather’ was Abramhofs fav flick? You mean all those internets rumors about Barry could be true?

ihasasad November 17, 2008 at 1:34 pm

I haz such an angry madz!
That old man let that lady that ran with him buy Carine Gilson briefs for $275!!! Who da hell needz pantiez that cost that much?

Donut give that old man a job Obama! He will let his people buy stuff that cannot be returned!

That is all.

Doglessliberal November 17, 2008 at 1:34 pm

[re=178442]azw88[/re]: Kyl was voted dumbest (as in intellectually weakest) Senator a few years ago in a Washingtonian magazine poll of Congressional staffers.

IonaTrailer November 17, 2008 at 1:34 pm

“We’re both part of the same hypocrisy, senator, but never think it applies to my family.”
“Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.”

BigBrainOnBrad November 17, 2008 at 1:34 pm

[re=178439]hedgehog[/re]: Sarah Palin could probably be the Connie Corleone character hysterically smashing china with her big, pregnant belly out in front of her.

AxmxZ November 17, 2008 at 1:35 pm

Put him in charge of Veterans’ Affairs, I say. He’s an expert on both.

jagorev November 17, 2008 at 1:35 pm

Yay, Barry has the same favorite movie as me (and, uh, many other Americans)!! I wonder if he’s seen the Coppola restoration version yet… it’s stunning.

magic titty November 17, 2008 at 1:36 pm

McCain is more of a Hyman Roth, in my opinion.

HuskyMescan November 17, 2008 at 1:38 pm

Mac can run the Dept of Making Sure 24 is the Highest Number.
“I’m stirring, I’m stirring!”

ref

sati demise November 17, 2008 at 1:39 pm

[re=178442]azw88[/re]: Kyle is the worst evah!
He got together with Lieberman to give Bush the war with Iran.
Kyle and Joe need to get the boot.

[re=178448]NavinJohnson[/re]: augh. Not Sec Def. nooo?Q/1/1/11~!

anabellum November 17, 2008 at 1:41 pm

there’s plenty of room for McCain on the white house staff….offer him a job in the kitchen…

sati demise November 17, 2008 at 1:42 pm

[re=178455]Doglessliberal[/re]: Kyle is the dumbest. thats why he is one of the few neo-cons left standing. King of Dumb.

d4g33z November 17, 2008 at 1:45 pm

You’re _close_, Ken. But the analogy is still funny! I only have one question: who is Freddo?

IonaTrailer November 17, 2008 at 1:50 pm

GEORGE W BUSH IS FREDDO!

DieOnTheTurnpike November 17, 2008 at 1:52 pm

[re=178466]magic titty[/re]: Does that make Palin Hymen Wrong?

JamesMichaelCurley November 17, 2008 at 1:54 pm

[re=178448]NavinJohnson[/re]: Yep! Also, Barack can walk into the McCain’s Office EVERY MORNING and say, “During the campaign you said a thousand times you know how to win the Iraq war, well????? Then turn around and fart on the way out.”

Kev-O-Tron November 17, 2008 at 1:54 pm

[re=178491]IonaTrailer[/re]: “I’m smaht! I can run things!”

FreshCliches November 17, 2008 at 1:55 pm

[re=178485]d4g33z[/re]: The sixth Marx Brother.

bitchincamaro November 17, 2008 at 1:55 pm

[re=178404]Godot[/re]: win.

johnbpt November 17, 2008 at 1:57 pm

I can’t see Lieberfuck accepting his fate with Tessio’s dignity. He’d be shrieking and wailing, pissing his pants and pleading “please, please, please kill my wife/grandmother/puppy instead!”

freeatlast November 17, 2008 at 1:59 pm

They should leave Kerry’s horse-faced head in Bill & Hill’s bed, just so they get the picture. Take the goddamn SOS post and shut the hell up…

S.Luggo November 17, 2008 at 2:09 pm

[re=178409]Woodwards Friend[/re]: [re=178406]azw88[/re]: Twinks.

astroprofeddie November 17, 2008 at 2:17 pm

It was Carlo Rizzi who was strangled in the car. Tessio (Vigoda) never got a chance to talk to the Don. He was just driven away and we never knew how he got it. That would have been been a cool outcome for Walnuts.

problemwithcaring November 17, 2008 at 2:17 pm

It’s a well-known political mythology that all the idiotic sex deviants that made careers off their fabricated moralistic outrage over Clinton, will slowly and publicly reap the same sexual humiliation and shame they joyously sowed.

Given all this, and with the sheer number of boys lusted over by the depraved Lindsey Graham, what is taking one of them so long out his horny-ass on the internet?

Valkyrie November 17, 2008 at 2:21 pm

[re=178438]WIDTAP[/re]: Or DoOfaS.

Imagine42 November 17, 2008 at 2:31 pm

DAMN it, Ken! Preface with SPOILER WARNING plz!!!1

wickedlittledoll November 17, 2008 at 2:40 pm

McCain can be his new white house liaison to the elderly
http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/2008/11/no-country-for-old-men.html

That Evening Sun November 17, 2008 at 2:54 pm

The RNC should be sending McCain a dead fish wrapped in an adult diaper any day now.

Woodwards Friend November 17, 2008 at 2:54 pm

Does this make Hillary Fredo?

WIDTAP November 17, 2008 at 2:59 pm

[re=178557]Valkyrie[/re]: Yes, as printed in under his portrait at Department headquarters.

azw88 November 17, 2008 at 3:02 pm

[re=178455]Doglessliberal[/re]: That’s great news! So AZ now has the oldest fuck ever to run for President, and the dumbest fuck in the Senate!!

Folks, please, please PLEASE understand that not all of Arizona are dumb and/or old fuck Republicans. Please remember that there was a time when we sent honorable Republicans like Barry Goldwater (yes he was a conservative, but not mean, nasty, and dumb like our current senators) and great Democrats like Mo Udall.

Arizona was once a great PROGRESSIVE state, not one full of fucking moronic arch conservative asshats.

azw88 November 17, 2008 at 3:06 pm

[re=178452]sati demise[/re]: AZ law requires Janet to appoint someone from the same party as the outgoing office holder. She could appoint AZ Sec of State Jan Brewer a Repub to fill McCain’s seat. She is next in line to be governor is Janet goes… That would make Terry Goddard, a Dem, next in line, and thus she could go off to DC to be AG or Supreme Court Justice…..

SwanSwanH November 17, 2008 at 3:07 pm

Is Richardson “Fat Clemenza?”

thefrontpage November 17, 2008 at 5:41 pm

The Vegas thing was actually offered to Michael’s sister’s husband Carlo, who, like Tessio, Abe Vigoda’s character, had betrayed the Corleones. Michael, to prevent Carlo from trying to flee or defend himself, actually gives Carlo a plane ticket to Vegas, tells him to go to Vegas, and tells him that he’s “out of the family business,” and, when Carlo tries to apologize, Michael cuts him off with a great, sneering, “Now get out of my sight.” Carlo is taken out to a car, and longtime family official Clemenza calmly says, “Hello, Carlo,” does that rope around the throat thing, and kills him right there in the car in the driveway. They don’t show Tessio getting it, but no one ever forgets Tessio, knowing that he’s about to be killed, looking dog-faced at Tom Hagen and begging, “Tom, can ya’ get me off the hook, for old-times sake?” And Tom says, “Sorry, Sally,” and that’s it for Tessio.

Jukesgrrl November 17, 2008 at 5:56 pm

[re=178414]GlennBecksTaint[/re]: Putin would get a baby tiger. So President Hopey better stop talking about puppies and pie and call Seigfried and Roy immediately.

Jukesgrrl November 17, 2008 at 6:02 pm

[re=178656]azw88[/re]: What happened to Arizona? All the assholes from Wisconsin and Michigan moved here to retire and since they have healthcare brought to them by Democrats, they’re going to live forever.

Lazy Media November 17, 2008 at 6:42 pm

In Rahm Emanuel, I believe Barack has found his Luca Brazzi.

El Topo November 17, 2008 at 7:55 pm

Rahmbo: “Hey Lindsey, pull my finger.”

(Senatress Graham reaches, mouth agape, to do so.)

Rahmbo: HA HA! Lost it on the meat slicer at Arby’s!

Barry (laughing and eating a rainbow lollypop, à la Sean Combs: You been played, nigga!

(Fist-bumps Rahmbo.)

WALNUTS!: Henngh! HENNGH!!!

ladymacbeth November 17, 2008 at 7:57 pm

[re=178391]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: now i want to hug shortsshortshorts.

i think this is unhealthy.

BruceLee5000 November 18, 2008 at 2:45 am

[re=178404]Godot[/re]: FTW! I was trying to think about what food Barry would want to take!

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