Wonkette
Guess who made a campaign stop in Iowa this morning? Mike Huckabee! Iowa! 2012! It’s the new-new Republican Party, with a platform based on Huckabee’s special blend of a) jesus-y socialism, b) weight-loss schemes, c) playing bass in the Christian Rock band “The Wiggles,” and d) just cold puttin’ down Mitt Romney all the time, because Romney SUX. Also Huckabee is selling his shitty book, about how much he hates Mitt. [CNN]
EPIC FAIL
Mike Huckabee’s 2012 Campaign Begins In Iowa
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Woohoo! The Huckster is running! The question is: how badly will Sarah Palin kneecap his primary run against Mittens? And how aggressively irrelevant will Rudy Giuliani turn out to be? Will Tom Tancredo try again? And what about Ron Paul? Please, please let Ron Paul run!
The Jared Fogle of Arkansas is hitting the campaign trail early! Huckaseein’ is Huckabelievin’!
One would believe Huck would realize the Presidency may not be cut out for him, but nay I sayeth, he shall fail until Jesus tells him to stop. As there is no Jesus, I don’t thing Huck will be going away anytime soon.
He named the first chapter of the book “I love Iowa” and he thinks he can sell a lot of books in the state.
Geeze Governor Suckup — what are the other 49 chapters called?
Huck-a-bee!! Huck-a-bee!! Sounds good in a chant. Or a hiccup.
I thought that one Wiggle died or is missing presumed dead or something. I had no idea he became Guv of Arkansaw.
Oboy. Was afraid I would have no campaign goodness to feed my jones for at least another year. But I won’t feel really satisfied until Fred Thompson hits the trail.
o, the poor people of Iowa. give them some rest from these
morons.
YEA! Huckabee/Norris 2012!!!
Sara K. Smith - I can’t avoid the obvious. In the Daily Briefing post you state “sucky, sucky.” In your Waxman post, we get “they all suck so much.” In this here Huckleberry post, you posit that Romney “SUX.”
What IS your odd fixation with suckery, and how can we Canuckistani terror-squads headed for Minnesota find out more about it?
George Goober Lindsey in the house; represent, represent. He’s anti-scientific in the styles he invents.
Canuckledragger: This thread is brought to you by Overlord Ken Layne, SR., Mr. Canuckle. SKS is only one post south of here however.
Meanwhile, Guiliani is still campaigning in Florida.
Just noticed that Ken Layne was the author of the Huckleberry post, which is odd since Ken Layne never wakes up before sundown. Yet the sucking fixation continues, irrespective of author. What gives with all the sucking at Wonkette today? Somebody not getting some, or what?
Is it just me or does huck always look constipated?
even when hes laughing or talking, he always looks like he’s got a massive glorius dump bound up inside him somewhere
Hucklebee…. My dad lives in AR & says Mike Huckabee is a ‘g*d damn dumb ass who never did a thing for AR except make it famous for having a fat/skinny/fat governor who lived in a trailer while the mansion was getting re-done.’ I might add that my dad is one of the few democrat, college-degreed, atheists living in that state. The stoopid surrounds him, but he says its cheap to live there.
shortsshortsshorts: wow thats awkward
shortsshortsshorts, Canuckledragger: O dear, if shorts thinks you’ve crossed a boundary… you must have done something unspeakable.
HOLD ME!
aside from obama, if there is one person who won during the 08 elections it was huckabee. mccain lost his honor, palin lost her charm, romney lost his money, giuliani lost his smirk, thompson lost his train of thought, but huckabee gained national stature and 10 pounds back.
there is no reason huckabee should be taken any more seriously than palin, as his ideas are just as jesufied and his lack of foreign policy is about as hillbilliesh as hers, but he’s got the funny on his side.
shortsshortsshorts: Thanks for that, man. I had already caught my error, but only after it was too late.
Abort, abort! [Then gay-marry and kill off Christmas. So MUCH to do, so LITTLE time....]
SayItWithWookies: I love..[insert other 50 states here], Hawaii and Alaska, needsless to say, DO NOT COUNT.
shortsshortsshorts: Yes, but since we’re denouncing La Smith, can I ask why there is no alt-text on the Janet Napolitano picture three posts down? I mean, why not just drag Newell out of bed and get him to uh not type any alt-text on that post or whatever?
Huck is dangerous, insofar as he comes across as reasonable. If your TV is muted, that is.
He always reminded me of a rather large guinea pig.
For my birthday Palin was nominated VEEP. For Christmas, please let there be a Mormon/Evangelical throw down. Hopefully nobody will be spared. I mean it. No one.
burton judson: Alt-Text: Serious Bizness.
That’s the way, Huck! Let’s re-form that good ole Republican Party by sending out the same group of losers who went down in ghastly flames this time around to spend the next four years incinerating each other. Sounds like a plan.
No one’s gonna beat Barry in 2012, so why waste your run on a losing race? The GOP should just run some pathetic loser in 2012 that would never win under any circumsta—OH. Okay. Palin/Romney/Huckabee 2012!
Props for “The Wiggles” reference Mr. Layne. Now my 4 year old can check out Wonkette.
http://www.livetheatertickets.com/the-wiggles/the-wiggles-pic.gif
NoWireHangers: I’m still hoping for a series of events that leads to a Palin/Lieberman 2012 ticket.
Poor Iowans. It seems the only politically-free time they will ever have is the six months between the Iowa Caucuses and general elections.
I am praying daily for a Palin/Bachman 2012 ticket.
Or Bachmann/Palin 2012 ticket.
Whichever.
Bring the crazy, ladies!
I’m torn. I hate Mitt and I hate Jesus.
Rush: You people with children… the things you put up with. My gawd.
Ugh. I thought we agreed to no more presidential elections ever again. Can’t he at least wait until after the next guy is sworn in?
I see stupid people
obfuscator: Sad thing is, after Liebs lost the Dems would still keep him in the caucus.
hockeymom:
I am praying daily for a Palin/Bachman 2012 ticket.
YAY!! YOU ARE A TRUE AMERICAN!! Also.
Or Bachmann/Palin 2012 ticket.
YOU PROBABLY PAL AROUND WITH GAY COMMUNIST SOCIALIST TERRISTS!! Also.
-SP
Dogs, I would so love to see a 2012 reprise of the big crew that stood up for the Republican debates this year, plus Palin. Let me be the first to christen it Snowbilly White and the However-many Dwarfs.
Sara, you put up the wrong picture. Family pix pls.
shortsshortsshorts:
Kids aren’t all bad…my son calls them The Faggles and always adds a moment later “they come from down under, you know (wink)”
It’s great to know that the Republican primaries will once again be a venue for discussing things that really matter….like how totally awesome Jesus is.
NoWireHangers: Hey, you gotta be conciliatory. Conciliatorations is important for governments.
Sigh. Makes me long for the days when Barry would intimidate Droopy Lieberman on the senate floor for all to see.
I just wanna know about
The rooms behind your mind
Do I see a vacuum there?
Or am I goin’ blind?
Theodorick Of York: Heh… Kids definitely talked like that when I was one. But my mother would have slapped me good if she ever heard me say something like that. I guess we just don’t respect Australians as much as we used to, back in the good ol’ days of flared pants and Cheryl Tiegs posters.
He looked happier when he was fat and lazy, like Star Jones. Katherine Lopez, be forewarned!
monty: Monty, taking a dump is in part,one of the steps of evolution. We’re waiting and apparently so is Huckles.
Bring it on in 2012. Smackdown! I’m talkin”bout the Huckabeest. And we can dig it.
I don’t think Huck has earned the right to run for President. As far as I know, he hasn’t been blasted with a fire hose or had his skull cracked open, which, by his own definition, are prerequisites for full participation in a democracy.
Weight change you can believe in.
Chuck Norris to his wife, “Cool. Career’s still alive. Get my beard dye and the teeth whitener. We’re hittin’ the road for Hucky.”
Huck/Chuck ‘12!
Romney is going to top him by living in the Reagan Library for the next 4 years.
longjohnson: Poor guy just wants a sammich.
Rush: Didn’t they swap out Greg (yellow)? In an interview, Greg said the kids wouldn’t give a shit because kids just see a tall lanky guy with dark hair in a yellow shirt.
I once got lost in the woods and survived by eating honeycomb. I was OK with it, even if I occasionally had to huck a bee.
yes, election 2012- Princess Sarah, Jindal, Steele, Huck, Keyes, Rudy, Stevens, Byrd- I want them ALL!
In Huckabee’s defense, Romney is in fact terrible. If he runs an entire campaign based on that premise — in the primary and general, because what the hell — he just might pull this thing off.
HuskyMescan:
You are right. There is a new Wiggle who replaced Pete Best. This is a current photo:
http://www.geocities.com/sunsetstrip/palms/4658/walrus.jpg
His plan is to look like Fabio by the time he announces his candidacy while nailed to a cross in a cornfield. Malakai, will you do the honors, please?
Servo: It’s a long shot….but that just might work.
You’ve got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know… morons.
obfuscator: I would happily accept Lieberman’s pardon if Barry would just deck him once. Just one stone cold punch to knock the little bastard out.
randomsausage:
“See that?”
“Steady as a rock.”
“Yeah, but I shoot with this hand.”
Huckabee looks like he just ate a persimmon in that pic.
Great. Four years of fried squirrel recipes.
Servo: Mitt Romney’s killed more men than Cecile B. Demille.
One Yield Regular: Yea, he is-as are all Republicans- on the wrong side of history on teh gay issue. I sent him a link to the wiki on the Stonewall Riots.
They need to join the 21st century, but FAT CHANCE. They will all keep eating their corporate food, taking their corporate medications and die a slow and fat, dumb blunted death smothered in high fructose corn syrup..
Fabulous. Looking forward to the All Oogity Boogity Ticket in 2012.
As a loyal Australian with two toddlers I demand a retraction regarding the Wiggles. They are NOT a Christian rock band. They worship the twin deities Hot Potato and Cold Spaghetti with oferrings of yummy yummy fruit salad delivered in a Big Red Car.
Or was this what you were talking about?
http://soupytrumpet.com/2008/02/05/super-tuesday-romney-mccain-huckabee-paul-announce-takeover-of-wiggles/
trondant: I totally agree. This is the man to beat in 2012. He had the brains to hitch up to the Ronny Raygun 20-mule-team and get himself a TV show before Bible Spice could. And it’s on Fox, so he might be able to keep her away from there if he throws his weight around (ahem). He has all the qualifications needed to capture the Dixiecrats, the Christianistas, and the gun zealots. But what makes him really dangerous: put him in an Italian suit and he’s polished enough to make the Rockefeller Republicans forget what a hillbilly he really is.
Shamooma. If he’s ever elected President, screw Europe, I’m moving to the Red Planet.
Say what you want about Huckz, but it will forever be known he hates Mittens and therefore Mormans. Who would have thought gayz and huckz would have a common enemy. OMG, my enemy’s enemy is my fried. Huckz4Eve2012!2016!2020!2024!!!!!!!!1!!!
It’s just that I feel Huckabee is really limiting his choices… personally, I see him as the new SHAMWOW representative…