• February 14, 2012

After that tragic series of events that led to the shuttering of the Mittens “Willard” Romney Campaign 2008, our comically convictionless protagonist campaigned at nine million rallies “for John McCain” and other candidates, a full seven million of which attracted only one attendee, Kathryn Jean Lopez — in booty shorts. Mittens’ extensive travel budget was funded largely by wingnut donations to his Free and Strong America PAC, which he created to “raise money for other Republicans around the country and to promote GOP policies.” Ha ha, why would he bust his ass for that? He wouldn’t! Because now we know that only 12% of the $2.1 million in PAC donations has gone towards helping other candidates. The other 88%, oh where did that go? MIGHT HE NEED MONEY FOR HIMSELF FOR HIS FUTURE? IN SAY… 2012?? Yep, that’s when he’s scheduled his appointment with the plastic surgeon — and boob jobs aren’t cheap. [Boston Globe]

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{ 25 comments }

cal December 8, 2008 at 3:47 pm

Oh Mittens, you can use your love glove on me anytime.

NewSpence December 8, 2008 at 3:49 pm

If you ever made the mistake of signing up on any kind of mailing list for the Mormons, you know that they never, ever go away. Mitt Romney will personally be interrupting your dinner time and Saturday mornings from now to 2012.

ManchuCandidate December 8, 2008 at 3:51 pm

Romney finally figured out the best way to fund one’s campaign–using other people (really stupid people)’s money. Too bad that he’ll lose again-Trucknuz/Neuticals 2012!

Aren’t any “regular” shorts, ultra tight booty shorts for K-Overfed?
Pardon me while I go clean the vomit off my monitor.

actor212 December 8, 2008 at 3:52 pm

Kathryn Jean Lopez — in booty shorts.

I now understand the meaning of “Third Eye Blind”…

4tehlulz December 8, 2008 at 3:54 pm

>>Kathryn Jean Lopez — in booty shorts.

THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS

Heywood Floyd December 8, 2008 at 3:54 pm

Let’s hope that by 2012 the Paulie Walnuts/Grampa Munster gray wings he’s been working on come into full bloom.

p-Sludge ofTheElves December 8, 2008 at 3:55 pm

TONIGHT ON CNN.

Campbell Brown: Indefatigable. C*ntmonger.

Like Aaron Brown in a dress.

shortsshortsshorts December 8, 2008 at 3:56 pm

I sympathize thoroughly when any pair of shorts stuck to the ass of Kathryn Jean Lopez.

norbizness December 8, 2008 at 3:57 pm

$12 million? That’s 600,000 pair of regular-sized magic underwear, or 2 pair for K-Lo.

shortsshortsshorts December 8, 2008 at 3:57 pm

*with not *when.

DAMN YOU GRAMMAR.

tonehedge December 8, 2008 at 3:59 pm

So this yibbering yard ape is about to check Kathryn Jean’s prostate yes?

Carry on then, carry on.

Manchowder December 8, 2008 at 4:01 pm

I like this part of the article: “This is not uncommon and not illegal, but it is unfortunate and deceptive to tell donors their funds are going to help candidates when in fact a big chunk is used to further the career of the political person who created the PAC,” said Paul S. Ryan, associate legal counsel to the Campaign Legal Center, a nonpartisan group in Washington that monitors campaign finance laws. “The legal reality is contributor beware,” he said. “It would be wise for donors to look at the track records.”

LOL owned republican donnars. That is what happens when you give money to a private equity guy, he takes it, appropriates it, and says fuck off when you asked what he did with it!

bearbait December 8, 2008 at 4:11 pm

[re=193783]tonehedge[/re]: And then, perhaps fondle her testes!

sarcasticusername December 8, 2008 at 4:12 pm

if he’s going to waste some more of his money running for president in 2012, i take it he’s taking his money out of the stock market and putting it in the much safer under the mattress market.

azw88 December 8, 2008 at 4:18 pm

Collecting political donations while at a candy factory???

Hmm, I quess the rumors about Mitts being a FUDGE PACker are true after all!

gambypants December 8, 2008 at 4:20 pm

it’ll take a lot more money than that for a surgeon to shut up that asshole.

http://www.charlietueats.com

Tra December 8, 2008 at 4:38 pm

It must be extremely helpful to one’s political career to have the world’s most gullible base.

Texan Bulldoggette December 8, 2008 at 4:58 pm

Not to be a Debbie Downer, but shouldn’t Mittens first make sure his wife isn’t going to get full-blown breast cancer before he starts planning his next campaign? Or is he just greasing the skids to have an affair & love child since all pols whose wives have breast cancer seem to do that? (I’m looking at you Johnnie & Newt!)

Scandalabra December 8, 2008 at 6:12 pm

Can’t wait for the coming GOP civil war–the Palins vs. the Mittens, (with Mitts representing the “intellectual” wing of the party–ha ha ha ha ha!).

Min December 8, 2008 at 7:43 pm

I cannot believe there’s no funny pop-up commentary on that picture.

Toomush Infermashun December 8, 2008 at 8:06 pm

“Kathryn-Jean Lopez in booty shorts” – best Wonkette vomitorious line ever – Bill Krystal eat your heart out….

DangerousLiberal December 8, 2008 at 9:33 pm

[re=193741]cal[/re]: Turn your head and cough. Thank you.

Lionel Hutz Esq. December 8, 2008 at 10:17 pm

If he really wants to be president, doesn’t he first have to help Hillary retire her debt?

House of Yes December 9, 2008 at 12:51 am

i miss this picture, it should be used over and over

Wagamuffin December 10, 2008 at 3:19 am

I didn’t know Mitt Romney was a fudge packer.

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