• February 15, 2012

On Change.gov’s “Open for Questions” section, this one from “S. Man,” which asks no one, since Obama will never read any of these Obama himself if he will legalize marijuana, is the top concern among Change.gov patrons. We don’t speak for Obama, but to answer your question “S. Man” et al.: No. He will not legalize marijuana. Ever. Now let’s move on. [Change.gov via The Hill]

{ 47 comments }

NewSpence December 15, 2008 at 4:51 pm

Jim, stop harshing my mellow.

Democratica December 15, 2008 at 4:51 pm

Sweet Jeebus! I know what I want – get that ridiculously creepy Campbell Brown off my screen! WTF?!

Jim Newell December 15, 2008 at 4:52 pm

[re=199264]Democratica[/re]: If you pay my salary this month, then we can discuss.

Democratica December 15, 2008 at 4:54 pm

Well now I just feel bad… but she’s so *there*! and she doesn’t move!

Jim Newell December 15, 2008 at 4:55 pm

[re=199273]Democratica[/re]: Well, she is judging you. You haven’t done anything wrong, Democratica, have you?

InKnockYouUs December 15, 2008 at 4:55 pm

Yeah, man, you know, . . . um. . . he’s never gonna legalize pot, because, uh, man, you know . . .

Capitol Hillbilly December 15, 2008 at 4:57 pm

ha you gotta love the ‘green jobs’ angle. that hippie wouldn’t know a job if it bit him on the ass.

gurukalehuru December 15, 2008 at 4:59 pm

Marijuana is a good thing.
FMAZ!

InKnockYouUs December 15, 2008 at 5:00 pm

Campbell Brown is going to pay Jim Newell’s salary this month. Oh wow. Whatcha going to do for her, Jim?

iwillsavethispatient December 15, 2008 at 5:02 pm

What do we want?
Legal Marijuana!
When do we want it?
You know… like… whenever… man.

/badum tish

True story: The President of the Legalize Marijuana society at my University slept in and forgot to actually join said society.

seriesoftubescleaner December 15, 2008 at 5:02 pm

Millions of new jobs? All of which will be lost a week later for coming in 3 hours late to work for 5 days straight.

NoWireHangers December 15, 2008 at 5:03 pm

Man, if they legalize Mary Jane, I’m quittin’ my day job to run a weed farm.

jagorev December 15, 2008 at 5:07 pm

[re=199283]InKnockYouUs[/re]: We can only assume that whatever he’s doing, it is unspeakably vile and gross. She is married to a Republican, remember.

SayItWithWookies December 15, 2008 at 5:07 pm

Let’s get stoned over here so we don’t have to stone them over there.

MoonshineJoe December 15, 2008 at 5:07 pm

[re=199274]Jim Newell[/re]: As in, ceiling Brown is watching you masturbate. Watching with great interest…

Naked Bunny with a Whip December 15, 2008 at 5:08 pm

she doesn’t move!

I’m sure she’s winking at me right through my screen.

TGY December 15, 2008 at 5:09 pm

Marijuana is the burning issue of our day, obvs. In a series of small fires.

shortsshortsshorts December 15, 2008 at 5:10 pm

[re=199283]InKnockYouUs[/re]: Jim doesn’t have to do anything. It is WE who must now tune into Campbell Brown. NO BIAS. NO FUCKING BULLSHIT.
Weeknights on CNN.
THE PLACE FOR POLITICS

RabidHamster December 15, 2008 at 5:11 pm

[re=199267]Jim Newell[/re]: Can I pay you in cat food and cardboard? If so, I’m ready for Campbell to come off my screen and on my lap.

space stout December 15, 2008 at 5:13 pm

S.Man indeed- is that you shortsshortsshorts?

pondscum December 15, 2008 at 5:13 pm

I kind of like it when the site gets taken over by some huge ad. At least Campbell isn’t all bright pink like that last one. She’s actually rather hawt!

tunamelt December 15, 2008 at 5:17 pm

This is relevant to my interests.

2druk2phluq December 15, 2008 at 5:22 pm

Laws are so complicated. I half expect for my weed to become legal, but then they’re gonna make my grow lights illegal. It could be, like, over the carbon footprint level. “I’m sorry, sir, but we’re gonna have to run you in. Are you aware how much you’re contributing to climate change with all these halogen lamps?”

Shoulda gone with lower yield fluorescents.

Iggy Plop December 15, 2008 at 5:25 pm

Please legalize it soon. I’m only a few years away from having to ask my students to score for me. And neither I nor they want that to happen.

Totowa December 15, 2008 at 5:27 pm

…time for hope and change.

S.Luggo December 15, 2008 at 5:32 pm

When canz unicorns be legalized?

shortsshortsshorts December 15, 2008 at 5:35 pm

[re=199306]space stout[/re]: It couldn’t have been me. The question asker is from Denton, Texas. If I lived in Denton I would not be alive to post this comment, because I would have already shot myself for living in Denton, Texas.

Dawn Keipuntsh December 15, 2008 at 5:51 pm

You just know the “S” stands for “Sinsemilla.”

FreshCliches December 15, 2008 at 5:56 pm

I was wondering what happened to the Paultards.

Borat December 15, 2008 at 6:05 pm

Oh come on, why did you have to post this, it gets me stressed out. I’m just about out, my dealer owes me 1/2 an ounce from all the duty free cigarettes I gave him and he’s not picking up his phone. It might be a long week after tonight. I might resort to Ken’s proposal of scraping the carpet for stems and seeds. But I’m not gonna like it.

sati demise December 15, 2008 at 6:16 pm

wait until Hopey finds out that industrial hemp makes the best jet fuel.

One step for man, a giant leap for mankind.

problemwithcaring December 15, 2008 at 6:17 pm

I’m bout to go get high right now. Somebody call me when Dookie Brown’s face isn’t everywhere…

Lascauxcaveman December 15, 2008 at 6:34 pm

[re=199307]pondscum[/re]: You got that right. That pink thing hurt my eyes. I felt like I was walking into a high-priced Mexican bordello while on acid.

(Not that I would know what that was like, mind you.)

Campbell can stick around as long as she wants to, far as I’m concerned. Especially if her glowing beauty is also paying for Ken’s kids’ school supplies and Jim’s Dr. Pepper® and Cheetos®.

dano December 15, 2008 at 6:37 pm

OK, here’s the deal. Weed will never be totally legal. There, I said it. The pharmaceutical, brewing and distillery industries can’t let it happen. I they legalize weed, then it becomes basically free because anyone could grow it in their backyard. The price would drop down to nothing and the before mentioned industries can’t afford to let a free mind altering substance compete with their products. So listen up hippie types. The best you can hope for is that the state you live in will decriminalize weed and you won’t have to worry about the local cops busting you. Be satisfied with that.

Borat December 15, 2008 at 6:43 pm

[re=199267]Jim Newell[/re]: Jim, everyone here would love to have Campbell Brown pay for their salary for a month, or at least bring a dime bag to their next party.

If she paid me for a month, I wouldn’t stop bragging about it.

PerhapsSo December 15, 2008 at 6:43 pm

This pisses me off. Who gives a flying fuck? We have a faltering economy, people without jobs, homes, health care, and child care, and we’re slowly killing the planet. And they think that the best public policy topic is weed? (And I don’t buy their attempt to tie the economy into it. It won’t save us all from hobo-dom.) And several more questions in the top 20 are about the exact same topic? I want to beat them senseless with their own bong.

cranchop December 15, 2008 at 6:45 pm

If you scroll down just right, the word “profile” gives Campbell Brown a righteous mustache. And also weed is awesome.

daisy chain December 15, 2008 at 6:50 pm

No fucking way man. I don’t want it legalized. That would suck all the fun right out of it. It’s the only illegal thing I get to do any more and I won’t have that taken away from me.

Mustang December 15, 2008 at 7:22 pm

I am so sick of these hippies. I am talking to my old hippie friend who is acting all freaked out about the O man and she’s saying all whiney “Well, I don’t know I just don’t know if he’s gonna do anything good because well I just don’t know.” Now I know from whence she comes. So it’s like if Obama doesn’t immediately legalize marijuana, make cars illegal, make cutting down trees illegal, and send her a personal letter saying, “God, I love you so much that I am going to do everything you want because you are the best hippie ever,she is going to go down to election headquarters and say,”I want my money back.” Jaysus!!!!

Servo December 15, 2008 at 8:13 pm

It doesn’t matter. All of the really good weed disappeared at the start of Nancy Reagan’s anti-drug crusade. Most of you missed out on the good sticky green buds, like Primo Hawai’ian. All that’s left now is seedy skunk weed.

InKnockYouUs December 15, 2008 at 8:30 pm

[re=199502]Servo[/re]: No, no. What I hear is that the weed now is super fantabulous good, much better than the weed I used to smoke growing up back in the Renaissance. So that is why the baby boomers are not supposed to let their kids smoke weed (as if they could stop them), even though they personally smoked half the weed output of the state of Michoacan back in the day.

Chief Grinning Eagle December 15, 2008 at 9:17 pm

These days those in the know vaporize, they don’t smoke. Back “in the day” the dealers thought Michoacan province in Mexico was a fictional place called Mish-muh-con. Obama said he’d stop raiding the clubs. That’s a start.

tonehedge December 15, 2008 at 9:26 pm

Puff, puff, pass. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

slinkimalinki December 15, 2008 at 9:50 pm

ahhh, create new jobs and a billion dollar industry. because there is currently no pot industry in the u.s.
I CAN SEE YOUR LOGICAL FAILURE, S. MAN.

Vulpes82 December 15, 2008 at 10:27 pm

The responses to some questions have gone up on Change.gov. The answer to this question? “President-elect Obama is not in favor of the legalization of marijuana.” Translation: “No, so shut it and go play hacky sack, hippies!”

S.Luggo December 15, 2008 at 10:56 pm

Legalization of the reefer? Won’t happen.

Barry knows that Southern Senators Mitch McCornhole, Sexboy Shambles, Lindsey Lindsey, etc, would block that because, if the magic hemp is made legal, then next will be the meth and they’re goes their constituency, all blowed up into tiny, non-voting flesh bits in trailer park labs.

That’s my analysis. Thank you.

Capitol Hillbilly December 16, 2008 at 9:44 am

[re=199419]PerhapsSo[/re]: dude, take a bong hit.

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