The Blizzard of the World Has Crossed the Threshold
by Ken Layne
- That climate-change hooey is just a bunch of lesbians trying to hide decades of higher average temperatures behind a few Xmas blizzards during the traditional winter months of winter. [Fox News]
- Ugh. Sales and prices of existing U.S. homes really collapsed in November, really terribly … and the new-home prices collapsed, too, but who is buying a new house in this shitstorm? [New York Times]
- A big-shot hedge-fund manager named R. Thierry Magon de la Villehuchet (French for “fuck you, poor people”) apparently killed himself after losing $1.4 billion to Bernard Madoff’s Ponzi Scheme. [Also the New York Times]
- Remember how Barack Obama wouldn’t go to his grandmother’s funeral in Hawaii because he hates America or whatever? The memorial service was held on Tuesday in Honolulu, and the Obamas were there, and then the ashes were scattered over the Pacific at the same place where Barack’s mom’s ashes were scattered in 1995. [Washington Post]
- America’s Worst Motherfucking Piece of Motherfucking Trash Ever, Dick Cheney, the Criminal Monster, is sure enjoying his “victory” lap by admitting to a bunch of motherfucking torture/horror bullshit that would certainly see the motherfucker hang, if an actual man becomes president, next. [Andrew Sullivan]
- Montgomery County has been swallowed by The Mud. [DC Examiner]
- It is super-snowy all over the place, in America, for Xmas! [Weather News]
Kirsten Boyd Johnson (800)
Jim Newell (5429)
Wonkette Jr. (626)
Liz Colville (96)
Blair Burke (171)
Kaia Mursi (44)
Garrett Quinn (13)
Ken Layne (6695)
Matt Langer (40)
Arielle Fleisher (385)
{ 50 comments }
It’s a damn shame the Dick Cheney didn’t personally lose $1.4 billion with Madoff. But, he’s probably qualify himself for a bailout
Can someone please explain why water main is carrying “muddy water, sticks and rocks”. Barry’s right, America’s infrastructure is going to shit.
Lesbians, like our climate, are hot.
You know those people might throw their shoes at Madoff, but if they are throwing their penny-loafers they will remember to take out the pennys first.
Ken Layne posted at 7:30 AM?!? Truly a Christmas miracle that I can believe in and I am Jewish.
[re=205108]TJBeck[/re]: I’m waiting for the Rachel Maddow comments to start.
Was Dick Cheney stroking a bejeweled white cat while admitting all this shit? This is beyond James Bond supervillain dumb. I expected that Dick was a more competent version of evil, stupid me.
Perhaps the ghosts of Christmas past, present and future will visit Cheney in his sleep tonight. Hopefully in his future he will find himself in a Guantanamo Bay torture chamber, but when he wakes up on Christmas morn’ it will be too late to buy turkeys and presents for all the people about to prosecute him for war crimes.
We need a Batman to destroy the Penguin. If Cheney goes free after all this, we’re all fuckin’ guilty…
I believe they’re called Xmas bliXXards.
[re=205115]Totowa[/re]: Or an armload of old microwave ovens to screw up the 30 pacemakers in his chest. As a robot, he can’t be killed the old fashioned way (wooden stake).
Awesome reference to Leonard Cohen. May replace the now cliched, “what rough beast comes slouching into Bethlehem” or worse, “we should all see the disaster as opportunity!”
Nothing screams ‘boring’ than lesbians and blizzards. KJill me now.
Wonkette should not be posting anything from the DC Examiner(When are they going out of business!!!). Besides being a right wing piece of shit that endorsed Princess Sarah(and the old guy), they toss their rag on every lawn in my neighborhood- no matter how often you ask them to stop. Most recently, the moron they hired tosses one on each side of our circular driveways- and if you have a cement/paved path to your house, he/she/it tosses another one there.
Best wishes to the Obama family and Grandma “This ain’t no picnic for me either.” My own grandma used to make me do that work-before-play stuff too. I’d have to pull weeds and mow the lawn at her house, but then there’d always be a fresh piece of angel food cake waiting (I’m sure it was something like pineapple upside down cake for little Barack in Hawaii).
[re=205127]finallyhappy[/re]: Circular driveway?
Elitist.
finallyhappy: Circular driveway? Elitist!!
I am picking somebody up from a flight originating at O’hare this afternoon. My guess is that generations will be born, raise families and die on that airplane before it gets here.
the ashes were scattered over the Pacific at the same place where Barack’s mom’s ashes were scattered in 1995.
Dead girl-on-girl action. Score!
[re=205146]actor212[/re]: Which will come first? The thaw, or Minnesota’s senator?
[re=205139]Delicious[/re]: So do you think the extra papers are left for the household slaves? Gosh, we never let them leave the house so I didn’t know anyone knew about them.
Delicious: Damn, you beat me to it!
“…but who is buying a new house in this shitstorm?”
Well, maybe now I’m going to be able to afford to move to the Upper East Side.
Global warming alarmists, picking up where the Grinch left off, are trying to steal Christmas, some critics say. From children’s books to school plays, the climate change crowd is dreaming of a green Christmas, angering opponents who say ’tis NOT the season to be preachy.
Silly me. And all this time I thought we were supposed to “remember the reason for the season” and be sure not to “take the Christ out of CHRISTmas.” Glad to know I can start cussing out those self-righteous bastards who insist on turning Christmas into some sort of lame, preachy, religious holiday.
I wish this Magot [sic] de la Villehuchet guy were around to stand trial. Since suicide is the ultimate way to tell someone “Fuck you,” he got the last word in, and dodged prosecution while expressing contempt for all of us. I hate him, and will not feel sorry for him. I can even forgive a Frenchman for dragging around a douchebaggy aristocratic name in this day and age (though seriously, how hard is it to drop the “de la”? You guys lost the Revolution almost 220 years ago. Get over it.) The world only wants you around, Magot, to punish you. You will be remembered as scum for all of eternity.
In lighter news, Massachusetts got heaps and heaps of snow dumped on it this past weekend, making traffic a nightmare. And now that it’s Christmas Eve, this world of white is threatened by rain that will wash the snow away, rendering the Bay Colony as drab as November on this festive day. So fuck you, weather.
[re=205148]Darehead[/re]: That’s a trick question. It never really thaws in Minnesota.
What a jackass…
A wastebasket had been placed under his bleeding biceps, Mr. Browne said.
No suicide note was found, but sleeping pills and a box cutter were discovered under his desk.
Dude? Boxcutter? WTF? And what’s with the sleeping pills? Do you take them before you start slashing, hoping you won’t fall asleep while hacking away at your own arms? I don’t mean to be unsympathetic, but…jesus.
i don’t think it’s very nice to say “fuck” or “motherfucking” or other variants of “fuck” during the christmas season. ok — more fucking eggnog for me RIGHT NOW!!!
[re=205177]whatever_dc[/re]: I’m gonna drink lots tomorrow. My wife’s dad is coming for the day, and he’s a peach of a guy, so that’s reason to drink. My wife’s stepwitch is coming with her dad, and she’s a fucking nightmare, so that’s reason to drink. I’m probably going to say “fuck” a lot, too.
Let’s all get drunk and say “fuck”!
Well, fuck.
[re=205105]Bruno[/re]: it was not; it was the 100K gallons of water per minute shooting out of the street and causing a wall of water to push down the street that were. It was like a tidal wave, seriously. The video of the rescues is crazy.
[re=205114]ManchuCandidate[/re]: there is a line in Frost/Nixon, paraphrased: “I am saying if the President does something, it is not illegal.” I keep hearing that lately every time Dickhead Cheney opens his evil and pestilent mouth.
[re=205148]Darehead[/re]: Neither. The baby Jesus is the correct answer.
[re=205120]Mavky[/re]: Cohen is always appropriate:
It’s coming through a hole in the air,
from those nights in Tiananmen Square.
It’s coming from the feel
that this ain’t exactly real,
or it’s real, but it ain’t exactly there.
From the wars against disorder,
from the sirens night and day,
from the fires of the homeless,
from the ashes of the gay:
Democracy is coming to the U.S.A.
It’s coming through a crack in the wall;
on a visionary flood of alcohol;
from the staggering account
of the Sermon on the Mount
which I don’t pretend to understand at all.
It’s coming from the silence
on the dock of the bay,
from the brave, the bold, the battered
heart of Chevrolet:
Democracy is coming to the U.S.A.
[re=205105]Bruno[/re]: this starts when it opens, so turn down sound if you don’t want to hear newscaster
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/video/2008/12/23/VI2008122300861.html?hpid=topnews
[re=205198]V572625694[/re]: Impossibly deep gravely voice Leonard Cohen holiday sing along! “Everybody knows that the boat is leaking/Everybody knows the captain lied” Will we get sued now by the bastards for copyright violation?
My dad takes River road to and from work. If he hadn’t been on a business trip yesterday he very likely would have been caught in the mud flood.
I just love that a street called River road got flooded.
Wait, wait, wait, wait!
The “some critics” referenced in that FOX story is a commenter on Amazon.com?
Jumpin’ Jehosepat, Mainstream Media! If you’re happening to read these words, I’d just like to let you know I HAVE ZERO CREDIBILITY BECAUSE I AM MOSTLY ANONYMOUS AND LARGELY UNEDITED. The reason you have college degrees is so you can learn how to prevent stupid shit from becoming news.
Prevent stupid shit from becoming news. That is your only job. This comment on this website is NOT news.
That is all.
do you have to retype motherfucking every time or do you have a F key or something set up to automatically type it for you
[re=205170]Larry McAwful[/re]: haha, yeah, I LOLd when I read the line saying “tis NOT the season to be preachy.”
Fuck you, Fox News Fundies. Merry Christmas.
Oh, and speaking of lesbians, why in god’s name have our faithful editors not posted or made reference to the two lesbian-ish twins who proudly display their hoo-has on Hef’s xmas card this year?
[re=205181]Larry McAwful[/re]: Why say when you can do?
[re=205181]Larry McAwful[/re]: well fuck then — let’s drink!
when my mother was still alive she used to get up about 4:00am to put on the turkey and the bloody marys started being poured right then and there. on christmas i came rolling in from a long night out at the bars around the time she was starting and she was like: how about a nightcap! she was a hoot and i only remember seeing her really drunk once and believe me: that woman DRANK!!!
Of course Santa believes the global warming alarmists. Santa = Satan. Only Sarah Palin can protect us now!
A big-shot hedge-fund manager named R. Thierry Magon de la Villehuchet (French for “fuck you, poor people”) apparently killed himself after losing $1.4 billion to Bernard Madoff’s Ponzi Scheme.
Making fun of a suicide? Not one of your classier moments, Ken Layne.
[re=205313]jagorev[/re]: Please don’t tell us you’re coming to Wonkette for “classy moments.”
[re=205361]Ken Layne[/re]: Remember Deborah Jeane Palfrey and how depressing that was? This guy is like the Deborah Jeane Palfrey of the financial-services industry. They both got their clients fucked good and hard, but that doesn’t mean they deserved to die.
[re=205364]jagorev[/re]: Jagorev, you are too kind. Seriously TOO kind. Lots of people deserving of our respectful sympathy out there, but billion-dollar finance dudes not among them….
[re=205364]jagorev[/re]: Nor does their suicide exempt them from scoff at either their pissing away billions of dollars when they had both the education and responsibility to know better or at their crisis of identity implosion when their “I’m the privileged elite and you are not” view of the world collapses.
[re=205386]HuddledMass[/re]: has it right. Save you sympathy for those in need of it. A man worthy of your sympathy would have faced the music and dedicated the rest of his life to compensating those he ruined. This fuck was both a fool and a coward.
Andrew Sullivan, I feel your rage, really, I do, Cheney is a motherfucker’s motherfucker, but I hope by this time you are on your way to a well-earned drunk, smoke break or whatever makes you happy.
Love you wonketters, happy holidays, i’m on my way to my happy place.
Comments on this entry are closed.