- Many libtards across America are forswearing their Wonkette today in favor of a day of “community service,” whatever that is. [Washington Post]
- Israeli officials brushed off accusations of war crimes and general dickishness regarding their recent invasion of Gaza. [Reuters]
- Hooray, racism is over! Even black people say so. [CNN]
- A summit of Arab states was supposed to focus on economic development, but it looks like they spent a lot of time talking about the Israeli-Palestinian problem. [BBC News]
- The power-sharing situation in Zimbabwe will either get better or it will get worse, soon. [New York Times]
- Everything in America is so broke or broken right now that Barack Obama could re-institute the monarchy and people would be like, “Well why not, let’s give it a whirl.” [International Herald Tribune]
Spend Your Day Of Service On The Couch
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{ 47 comments }
I’m raiding the trash cans for aluminum cans. Thats the sweetest plumb bitches.
My day of community service began by getting up at 6:30 A.M.! Instead of about 1-2 p.m. Now I can get up to see the inaguration which comes at an ungodly hour. I will start drinking about 9 in the morning so tomorrow’s day of service will consist of not driving or leaving the house.
Ha, the best national service could be explaining to me the optimal way of cooking Hobo Beans to make them taste like Millionaire$ Beans.
There’s nothing wrong about Gaza when you frame yourself as the Nelson Munz of the Middle East…of course the Gazans just won’t “stop hitting yourself”. Stupid Gazans.
Given the shortage of potties, I’m going to nail 95 feces to the wall to start a pottystant revolution. It’s Martin Luther day, right?
All hail His Royal Highness, King Barack the First!
Or, we could just keep shoveling money to broke-ass bankers so the can pay themselves dividends and bonuses and “acquire” (i.e., give money to their pals at) other banks
For our national day of service, ill be supporting single moms one dollar bill at a time / encouraging the (exotic) art of dance
[re=221812]Darehead[/re]: Win
Just goes to show that W’s legacy to US America (if you can call it that) is destruction and misery for everyone.
For Libs and sane folks, it is the death and destruction caused by or to Katrina, Iraq, the fiscal implosion cause by the credit crises, and denial of man made global climate change.
For Cons and the insane folks, they will enjoy the fruits of W from the teabagging of the Repub party, the destruction of laisse faire capitalism and the death of libertarianism as a political/economic philosophy, the neutering (albeit temporary) of Wall St and the riches, and the logical climax of Fail for the Raygun Re-love-ushun.
Hooray for everyone?!?
After looking at a few of the Gaza pictures that are coming out now I get the feeling that the Israeli assault was the equivalent of trying to kill a gnat with a shot gun.
Didn’t Dick Cheney *already* re-institute the monarchy?
Does it count if I just serviced myself on the couch?
[re=221820]freakishlystrong[/re]: Depends. Manual? Not really. Oral? Sure – and bonus points for flexibility.
community service around here usually involves DUI and you get an orange vest, which for many of us is simply another article of clothing to wear as we huddle around the burning trash cans.
My service to the nation involves creating a drinking game based around Barry Hussein’s big speech – one drink every time he say “hope”, two for a reference to Martin Luther King or President Lincoln, three for a mention of the puppy and so on.
Further suggestions gratefully received.
Well, I did go to the website thingy and entered my zip code to see what volunteer opportunities are available. The one closest to home was booked. As I have two kids (one is a rambunctious 4 year old who is not ready to be released into the general public – can’t bring him with me to a restaurant, much less for a few hours sorting donations at GoodWill)……..I’m gonna collect as much stuff as I can (nice stuff, or at least still serviceable stuff), and bring some bags down to doonate.
One time I worked at Mass. Coalition for the Homeless sorting donations – I was appalled at the amount of junk people donated……..stuff that should have been trashed. I found a set of naked lady plastic ice cube molds for cocktails. I actually wanted to keep those, but thought better of it.
The only community service things listed in my area today were installing digital converter boxes for the elderly. I love Hopey, but I am not that good of a person. I’m just not.
There was also something that sounded like an orgy. I knew the person who was hosting it though, which pretty much confirmed that while it probably was an orgy I wanted no part of it.
[re=221827]Hello Sunshine[/re]: “forward”, “future”, “Allah Akbar”…
[re=221829]windupbird[/re]: I was *wondering* what I did with those ice trays… Must have been drunk.
“Service” here in Boston means driving the speed limit and refraining from flipping off other drivers, most of whom deserve it. So I guess I’ll do that.
I’m at work, in service to my rent. (Although clearly, I’m not working much.)
I’m more than happy to service as much of my community as I can today, and every day.
I took my car in, for service.
[re=221834]OffTheRecord[/re]: Joe? You’re back from Israel already?
As part of my national day of service I’m going to log into Warcraft and run noobs through Deadmines all day.
I have to work today, but we get to watch the inauguration tomorrow morning over at my employer’s house on a big teevee. I will have breakfast and tears of joy please.
[re=221827]Hello Sunshine[/re]: Slam a beer every time Barry says this problem is yours to fix – guaranteed to cause alcohol poisoning before the end of the speech.
Re-institute the monarchy? What exactly do we have now? Still, better King Barack the handsome than King George the dunce.
[re=221829]windupbird[/re]:
I’ve volunteered at the DC Food Bank, sorting donations. You should see the crap people give. Bloated cans, cans that expired YEARS ago, stuff with no labels. To be honest, some folks do give nice things, too. We’d have contests to see who could find the worst donation. I once found a can of menudo that had expired 4 years ago. Tripe that’s long past it’s date, yes, let’s give that to folks who need a meal.
As ususal, my service is to my fellow Wonkette slobs:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYgtUvgYi8U
[re=221827]Hello Sunshine[/re]: Iconic, That being said, Moving forward.
So do I have to pretend to care about Africa now that I voted for A Black? Inquiring racists need to know.
You know, the whole monarchy thing would have it’s upside. Would we set up our own or go back in with England? If it’s England, let’s wait a few years until William in on the throne. Charles and Camilla? Gag.
Today I may finally bring the eight bags of clothes in the back of my car to Goodwill. Or I may not, given that I went and wore a skirt and heels today and am not really dressed for post-work bag hauling.
[re=221855]Sussemilch[/re]: How truly magnanimous of you! You’re not on Misha server, are you?
[re=221914]Sassette[/re]: If you live in a place where it snows, you might want to keep them in your trunk for ballast on icy roads and wait until April before you donate. Just a suggestion.
[re=221855]Sussemilch[/re]: Mind stopping by Sisters of Elune. Needs Van Cleef’s head.
I plan on servicing my man today.
I’m getting ready to go to my service activity. It is at a big conference center and there are a lot of different things to do. I think sandwich making is my strong point. I see PEBO came to Walter Reed which is not too far from me. Maybe he and Michelle, the girls and the Bidens will come to downtown Silver Spring – or not.
[re=221915]swarm of bees[/re]: Nay, Exodar. In other news, three drakes down! *cheer*
I heard on NPR this morning that Israel says it didn’t mean to conquer Gaza, but somehow they did. I expect their troops to march into Grand Fenwick next. These things happen, I guess.
Alright, NOW I know why my wife woke me up at 12:01 this morning. I’ve been community serviced.
[re=221827]Hello Sunshine[/re]: Double martini for every time you hear the word
“sacrifice?”
I HAD A DREAM BABY!!
Would someone please service America by citizen-arresting the war criminals about to leave office? I’m not in DC or I’d, you know, do it myself. Failing that, perhaps you could take a dump on them, or near them. I want to feel Hopey (not like that, perv) but ignoring the crimes of the past 8 years will make me question Hopey’s commitment to all that change stuff he talked about. God bless Jonathan Turley and John Dean. Keep the prosecutorial home fires burning, boys.
What kind of bullshit is it that Bishop Robinson gave the invocation last night but did it on a mike that wasn’t turned on before the HBO broadcast began. WTF–Did they fear he’d talk about butseks? Would be very funny joke on them if Rick Warren does the standard schtick with his kind and asks God to bring down his wrath on all the gays. Except for the ones who are Repubtard, of course.
I do my day of service 365 days a year–I’m a libtard in Real America. Nobody knows the trouble I see.
[re=221827]Hello Sunshine[/re]: Drink when he speaks of furthering the perfection of our union, and when he gives the list of groups that we’re not supposed to think of ourselves as being anymore (black, white, native american, gay, etc.).
I marched this morning in Nashville with parishioners from my church and members of a local mosque and like to froze my civil rights off. Then we had Palestinian food for lunch. That wasn’t meant as a symbolic gesture…we just like the cheap buffet.
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