There is an unwritten rule in D.C. politics that during any given session of Congress, at least one (1) legislator or White House staffer must live in a shameful basement dwelling unfit for human habitation. Senator Norm Coleman once proudly held the title of Hobo King, but then he got (nearly?) run out of office by a comedian from the 80s, and is now locked in a legal battle as vicious as it is dull. You’ll never guess who D.C.’s newest subterranean urchin is, as long as you don’t read the title of this post!
It’s our own Rahm Emanuel, who lives in Congresswoman Rosa DeLauro’s basement. This was discovered when a private investigator checked up on Emanuel. Why the hell was a private investigator doing, checking up on Rahm Emanuel? Just being a dick, looks like!
Rahm Emanuel’s Illegal D.C. Basement Rental [Gawker]
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ZOMG SPOILERS
Gollum?
Where are all these “sharp elbows” we kept hearing about. I fully expected to see GOP congressional aides scurrying around the capitol hill with bandages, casts, black eyes, etc. Very disappointing.
SKS, master of suspense! Okay, so who is this Hobo King? Tell us already!
Adam Arkin is starting to piss me off.
He may have his residence there, but I’m told that there’s a secret panel in Lauro’s underwear drawer (that image alone gave me gas) that leads to the Rahm Cave.
I guessing he shares his dwelling with 24 cats. Probably gets a discount for cleaning the litter boxes.
This is a scandal? Gawker is calling that row house a fire trap? Our homies at Gawker haven’t looked around either DC or NYC or see what a real fire trap is. Someone needs to look in the housing section of the Post, City Paper, or Craig’s List to see how many folks live in or rent out “English Basements” in DC.
Rep. DeLauro is Executive Director of Emily’s List. I’m sure the Confluence is livid that she is renting space to a man.
My sources tell me that while he’s there he must dress in a leather S&M body suit with a zipper over the mouth, is chained by the neck and lives in a locked black, footlocker.
wow. we got a place in capitol hill recently, and that is a crappy address. far from metro, far from eats etc. but I guess the Hobo King can at least take solace in the fact that he is but a few blocks away from the Hipster Heaven of H Street. oh yea … Rahm in tight black pants and a hoodie … sexytime!
Are you sure that you don’t mean “just being a dick Cheney”? PIs don’t wander around those neighborhoods for fun, I’m guessing.
Now if I lived in the area, I might let Rahm live in my basement..or elsewhere..for free. I’d even feed him. I am sure I could find a few things for him to do to make up for it.
[re=235704]Serolf Divad[/re]: I hear they also make him fuck a pig, almost nightly, and start mornings by chasing him through the wilderness with high-end pellet rifles. He doesn’t have to pay rent, though, so score!
He’s fine, actually. It would be DeLauro’s fault for violating zoning laws.
What? Fame is not a crime????
There can’t be anything to this story. All the elites provide servants’ quarters — or maybe he’s forcing his chauffeur to sleep in his limo.
[re=235693]AllHat[/re]: The point of appointing Emanuel is to keep the Congressional Democrats in line, not the Repubs.
[re=235712]Colander[/re]: Hey, as long as he doesn’t have to eat the pig, it’s all good.
Ya think his wife may have picked out his new roommate? Jim, don’t you have a futon or some shit?
Rosa deLauro is one of my favorite people, she looks like a gypsy. My friend Molly used to say, “That woman looks like she should be reading fortunes in a tent.”
http://www.yaledailynews.com/img/2008/02/05/47a80331c5c31_tedkennedy.jpg
[re=235709]sexytime[/re]: you don’t know what you’re talking about.
Now when my son misbehaves I can tell him he’d better be good, or Rahm will come out of the basement and cut one of his fingers off.
Whatev. This is such a non-story. I like Rahm more now. The dude lives in conditions similar to my own. HE CAN RELATE.
Anyways, I’d have hours of basement sex, or actually, ANYWHERE sex with this dude.
A point of technical accuracy: Rahm probably refers to it as his fucking dwelling.
[re=235728]Uncle Al[/re]: That’s friggin’ Junior Soprano in a friggin’ wig, you friggin’ goomba. The friggin’ jerks in friggin’ Witness Protection almost got away with it.
[re=235693]AllHat[/re]: Totally! I was really hoping for some truly cowed and miserable-looking Republicans. But it’s good to know that the Dems are nothing if not consistent – all bark… well, not really even that much, bark, come to think of it.
Jesus Christ. Do you guys remember when Gawker commenters were almost as snarky as Wonkette’s? WTF happened?
It is an appropriate batcave for Rahm (short for “Malach ha-mavis”); did the PI check the bathtub drain for DNA and blood trace? What Nixonian Wingnut hired the dick? Gawker should get James Ellroy to write this story.
I would think it fair to assume a White House COS “lives” at the White House, and has some pallet in the basement of some congressgypsy’s house on which catch up on sleep, oh maybe from noon to 5pm Sundays?
“Rahms in the basement” will be the new “Presidents in the woodpile.”
that’s nothing, Jason Chaffetz, Utah’s latest crazy wingnut, actually SLEEPS IN HIS OFFICE, like a man who can’t pay the mortgage because he owes a crack dealer several million dollar.
[re=235778]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: i have noticed this as well. it is disturbing. the world of snark shinks daily under an o’bama administration.
[re=235730]glasshalf[/re]: are you a bitter hipster? That place is like 7 blocks from the eastern market metro. His hookers’ stilettos can’t handle that kind of mileage. Though I guess its better than living in that godawful condo-land on west Mass. Hobo Kings like old shit I guess …
At the same moment that Barry reveals himself as the hidden Imam, Rahm will become King of the Gypsies, with De Lauro his queen, and will lead armies of rats and street urchins to invade the previously safe suburbs of N. Va. Then you’ll wish you’d listened to the PUMAz!
[re=235778]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: I KNOW! There used to be some great commentators at Gawker, but many of them have disappeared. I hate to say it, but the quality of the posts isn’t the same, isn’t as smart, either. (except for Pareene…and sometimes Richard). I feel like they’ve hired a bunch of youngsters, with no life experience, who pass judgement on things they know nothing about.
Wait.
That’s what I do…without the “youngster” part.
Home is where you hang your pointe shoes.
[re=235891]Red Zeppelin[/re]: Well, they did say the Pied Piper was all multi-colored and mellifluous…
When will Barry Obama apologize for allowing Rahm Emanuel to live like a hobo?
[re=235778]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: *cough* Nick Denton panders with SEO-driven content and fires good writers *cough*
I knew this little item was non-issue when I spied it on its first go-round, but it’s still fun to imagine all the possibilities… Poor, lonely Rahm, in a basement apartment, futon on the floor, empty cans of Pabst littering the flat surfaces, the smell of dirty, sweaty clothes and wet cigarettes permeating the place… Just like my first, and also illegal, rental in S.F. I shared with 3 dudes. Although, the SM leathery dungeon thing is more, ahem, interesting.
Is this even possible? If West Wing is any guide, CJ Craig had a secret service detail and needed 3 different ways to get out of her apartment to the empty field where Marine One could pick her up and wisk her away to an undisclosed location. We need Rahm alive to run the country and re-populate the earth.
Why does our sexy Moorish Nubian King President allow his sexy Hebrew Henchman to live in such conditions? He should at least be able to keep his quaters near the harem of 72 virgins.
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