Ha ha ha oh lordy. The mayor of San Francisco, the guy who loves gay marriage so much but insists on repeatedly marrying women, is currently married to an actress. She stars as a call girl in, if the trailer is any indication, one of the worst pay-per-view movies of all time. It features such winning lines as, “I’m all for sex. Love? Love is for fools.” She was better in that little walk-on role (also, coincidentally, as a call girl!) on Mad Men. UPDATE: One of the movie’s co-writers contacted your Wonkette and offers a convincing and pleasantly good-humored defense of the film!
From: Mike Su
Subject: Mrs. Newsomhey sara,
just read your post on jen siebel’s new movie, the trouble with romance. i’m actually one of the co-writers of the film (though i’m by no means a spokesperson for it), and i just wanted to say
I’M GOING KICK YOUR F**KING ASS! I WANT YOU OFF THE F**KING SET! YOU AND ME? WE’RE F**KING DONE PROFESSIONALLY!!!!
just kidding…..i’ve been waiting all week to figure out where to fit in a christian bale tirade. unfortunately it’s waaay played out already.
ANYWAY, i’m not writing to whine about bad press or anything. but i did want to let you know that this was a very low budget indie that a lot of people did as a labor of love. the movie was probably made for less than the cost of megan fox’s third assistant on Transformers 2. all i ask is you do me one small favor, rent the movie. watch it. and if you hate it as much as you thought you would, i’ll send you the money for the movie and a box of microwavable popcorn to make up for it (the popcorn is negotiable, if you want to substitute for another not-too-expensive gift…afterall, this movie was done on a budget) even if you don’t write about it, at least give it a shot.
if films like this don’t get the opportunity to see the light of day, we’ll just get more michael bay movies. we don’t want to go there.
mike
Done and done, Mike! We will do this as soon as we can figure out how to work the pay-per-view, and then we will send a review to the hot Slate ladyblog XX Factor free of charge.
SF’s First Lady Plays Hooker in New Film [NBC Bay Area]
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{ 51 comments }
I think more big city mayors should marry hookers.
Which terrible actress was she?
Seems to me that this is a movie made by douchetards for douchetards and now I can see why there is an upside to porn without plots.
WTF! I’m surrounded by Asian Mail Order Bride ads!
“lamenting the over the finer points of love in her undies on pay-per-view televisions everywhere.”
How did love get in her undies in the first place?
I think we just saw the entire movie.
When’s Michelle’s PPV movie coming out? Or better yet, Mrs Dipshit McGoo’s movie?
[re=236787]MingPicket[/re]: I think she’s the blonde one, having issues with oral sex.
Holy Crap. This was on Drudge and it’s amazing. Glenn Beck has lost his motherfucking mind.
http://www.yeahokthen.com/2009/02/glenn-beck-finally-cracks.html
WOOT. Finally something from my city that isn’t gay, just terrible.
Ming… She’s the blonde who the young idiot guy failed to get off with.
My late Uncle Wally got $50 for being an extra in Revenge of the Killer Tomatoes. He wasn’t a professional actor or anything; they were filming and just herded people off the street, gave them fifty bucks and made them sign something attesting that they didn’t expect anything else. He was in a crowd scene at the end of the movie. When it came on TV he sat through the whole thing to see his scene and hated every minute of the movie.
Anyway, maybe something like that happened to Mrs. Mayor. Twice. Just a theory.
The only way it could be better is if it included the great actress and blowgo inventer Laurie Coleman. Preferably in a lesbian sex scene.
[re=236798]Colette[/re]: The blonde? She’s kinda cute. Is she pre-op or post-op?
…where are the Transformers and G.I. Joes? LAME!!!
[re=236796]AWOcoholic[/re]: I love that old Soviet anthem (still the Russian anthem.) So stirring. Kind of makes me wish communism wasn’t such a fucked up, genocidal mess. Damn you, Uncle Joe!
[re=236797]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Barry Zito is also not gay, just terrible.
I’m pretty sure that the “winning line” you quote above is the official motto of the City of San Francisco.
I thought movies like this were supposed to at least have a decent soundtrack album.
[re=236789]shanemacgowan[/re]: The same way Larry Craig’s business card got there?
Why are all SF-based “relationship” movies such abominations? Who has the time to watch a bunch of people who fall within a certain continuum of atractiveness get to slowly work their way through their problems? These actors enjoy being naked on camera so much they can’t even bring themselves to play their scenes, everything is so drawn out and extended. Well not everything as apparently they fear arrest should the male appendage be introduced to the proceedings.
The only thing that might have spiced this up would have been the addition of anal sex specialist Tristan whate-her-name. Nobody should be allowed to make these movies without they agree to a good on-camera ass rogering first.
She is a big improvement over his first wife which I guess isn’t saying much.
ManchuCandidate: Agreed. We’ve had action movies, buddy movies, family movies, date movies, and porn movies et al.
This is a douchetard movie, an eye’s-wide-open behavioral snuff movie.
One person’s liberation is another’s experience of cruelty. Art. Right. Also.
[vomiting in wastebasket]
Total beard.
Breaking….Judge Ginsburg has surgery for pancreatic cancer.
Shit.
In which Jennifer Siebel claims that Gavin’s affair with his campaign aide’s wife was all said wife’s fault: http://sfist.com/2007/03/12/not_a_girls_kind_of_girl.php
The best part is when 15 comments in, she shows up to defend herself. Comment 56 is presumed to be a PR person.
Watching Love Is Painful is painful.
[re=236842]hockeymom[/re]: I hope she’s OK, but… holy shit… Talk about dodging a fucking bullet. McCain would have appointed some kind of rabid, wild-eyed, jesus-fellating hate robot.
This is The Battleship Potemkin of softcore.
[re=236832]Mr Blifil[/re]: Admit it, you’re disappointed because it’s not 3-D.
[re=236819]shanemacgowan[/re]: I hear the Giants are signing Babe Ruth’s rotting corpse this season. They just keep getting older and older.
[re=236842]hockeymom[/re]: That’s terrible. But two years ago it would have been terrible-er. And four years ago it would have been terrible-est
[re=236853]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Better VORP than Juan Uribe.
[re=236851]bitchincamaro[/re]: True, I’d be more amenable if it weren’t legacy technology.
Apparently this movie so bankrupted poor Mike Su that he can’t afford capital letters in his email correspondence. Poor bastard probably had to sell both Shift keys to pay for filming permits.
The trailer had it’s moments, not my kind of movie though. The co-writer does have a point.
Wait. Wait. Did I see that guy from Moonlight in the trailer? Cause, I’m in.
[re=236979]TheMac[/re]: AND Steve.
[re=236913]imissopus[/re]: shit, I knew someone would get to that point before I could. Are poeple so lazy these days, that the Shift key is too much effort?
[re=236797]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Shorts, this “film” shows a complete failure of imagination/writing.
A much better version would have stared BOTH Mrs. Mayor and the Other Woman (the wife of Newsome’s campaign manager). Both are Completely Bangable. And the hot Lesbo SEX scene would have been much, much better.
:::Sniff:::
The City’s recent claim to artistic excellence don’t measure up to the traditions of Hammett or City Lights Books.
Apparently Mr. Su is descended from the visual arts branch of the ee cummings family.
This Mike Su fellow is all pissy at Michael Bay because Bay’s on record as saying he cuts off the Christian Bale tirades at :30 seconds and if continue to a minute he’ll clear the set to deprive the prima dona actor/writer/grip of an audience.
Well Su, get over it. You never see Shia LaBeouf come in here with such a potty month, do you? We have standards about such language, you pudknocker.
He needs to go to All Caps University and drop out in his sophomore year.
[re=236796]AWOcoholic[/re]: I didn’t know Beck had any mind left to lose!
[re=236797]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: weirdly, doesn’t the unbuttoned shirt-guy who comes out of the bathroom at the beginning look like an older, sloppier version of actual Newsome?
Every time I see him in Cheese Plus my nose goes numb by proxy…
If the guys in SF aren’t gay, they’re pussies.
If I want to watch whinny pussy dudes, I’ll watch The Original Housewives of Orange Co.
I actually saw this movie at a festival, and believe it or not, it’s pretty good. Hard to judge off a Trailer, but people dug it. And I’m no fan of Newsome.
Also, I’m pretty sure the Mayor’s wife doesn’t play a hooker in the movie – though she does have racy scenes. The hooker role is played by someone else, and the mayor’s wife only appears a few times. That NBC link is wrong. For what it’s worth.
Somebody made a movie based on “Friends”, except it’s a sleepover.
[re=237287]rocktonsammy[/re]: Who the fuck are you? I’m an SF resident on a DC blog. I tromp through the Tenderloin at 4 in the morning fending off crackheads with a messenger bag. I sell jeans to Mistah FAB. I may not be the best actor, but I’d fuck Jennifer Siebel Newsom because SOMEBODY has to. There are many of us Original Gangstaz out her by the Bay. We may not make the best films, but by comparison, we make DC look even more like Kabul than it already does.
I used to work in film many years ago. I haven’t seen this film, but the only person on this site who has (ThatCat) says it’s good. If everyone wants to hate on the Mayor and his wife, that’s one thing. But to hate on a small movie that hasn’t been seen yet isn’t fair to that writer or the hundred other folks who did. Just because Ms. Newsom’s in it. People’s careers are affected by stuff like this. Anyway, I’ve scene plenty of trailers that don’t indicate how good or bad the actual movie is. This one looks better than most.
Fyi, the mayor’s wife is not a call girl in this movie. According to this article, she was offered the call girl role but chose a different role instead. Here’s the link: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/cityinsider/detail?blogid=55&entry_id=35346#comments
GAWD ALMIGHTY THIS IS TERRIBLE–TERRIBLE PRODUCTION, TERRIBLE DIRECTION, TERRIBLE ACTING, TERRIBLE WRITING.
To the producers, directors, actor and writers on this awful thing: Do not include this on your resume, and make sure this piece of dung is not listed at your web site, on the back of your head shot, in any resume, on “the internet movie database” (which is overrated anyways), or anywhere else. This is the type of crap that will get you blacklisted from real work.
This thing is just terrible, amateurish, awful, on any level.
The girls are hot, though. But that doesn’t save it.
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