• February 14, 2012

'We have yet to find the bottom'Ha ha, we get to use that fantastic photo AGAIN. Just as raccoons executed a full-scale assault on the White House, we get word that a beagle/dachshund mix is loose near Observatory Circle. What is it with our current numbers 1 and 2, and their curious wildlife-attracting powers?

Seriously though, jesus christ, first we have to write about child molesters and then sad little lost dogs running through … extremely posh neighborhoods. It is a heartbreaking day here at Wonkette! But check it out: this little dog, Queenie, got rescued from a high-kill shelter, but then she ran off from her foster home, and clearly she wants to live with Joe Biden but she is too shy to approach his house. Joe Biden is a very intimidating man.

Wonketteers, you have bravely assembled before to rebuild the Republican party, win this Web site a prestigious blog award of some sort, and make David Denby cry. Now you must dispatch yourselves to Observatory Circle and rescue Queenie POST HASTE, for Democracy.

Help Find Queenie

{ 34 comments }

Mustang February 6, 2009 at 11:46 am

OOOOhhhhhh. Queeeeenie. Sweeetie.

shanemacgowan February 6, 2009 at 11:47 am

When Dick Cheney was around, he was permitted to roam freely at night and help keep the population of feral animals down. Now that a natural predator has been removed from the ecosystem, all hell is breaking loose.

StephanieInCA February 6, 2009 at 11:48 am

I bet queenie could take out those pesky raccoons from the white house. Nancy Pelosi, too, probably.

NotUrEvryDayWEzl February 6, 2009 at 11:48 am

Um… that’s literally like two blocks away…. maybe it’s time for a smoke break….

CollegeStudent February 6, 2009 at 11:50 am

As long as Queenie is a clean articulate mutt, she should have no problem with His Bidenness.

ManchuCandidate February 6, 2009 at 11:50 am

At least it’s Foot-in-Mouth Joe and not Mr Potter living at the Naval Observatory. Joe won’t shoot you in the face unlike Dick when you stumble on Dick masturbating in the bushes while feasting on the corpses of still alive babies.

Friday’s News Dump is Full Of Woe, indeed.

Naked Bunny with a Whip February 6, 2009 at 11:51 am

Stop getting me all turned on at work, dammit. First Wile E. Coyote’s splayed ass, then this picture…TWICE.

Monsieur Grumpe February 6, 2009 at 11:51 am

Is Queenie a male or female? If it’s a male then the owners are just being cruel. And keep that dog away from the raccoons. Queenie looks about the right height to be coon poon.

DangerousLiberal February 6, 2009 at 11:51 am

It is your duty and obligation as Americans to use that picture–sometimes with different alt-text, also–every day for the rest of the year. But only, from now on, to describe what the GOP (that masked fella on top) is doing/has done to America/the world (represented by that cuuuuute doggie).

ManchuCandidate February 6, 2009 at 11:53 am

[re=237925]ManchuCandidate[/re]:
Er bodies, not corpses. Moran.

actor212 February 6, 2009 at 11:55 am

Don;t you guys get it?

It’s like in Snow White! When the Evil Witch Queen is killed, the furry forest creatures all return, surround the hero and heroine and sing their praises!

Come on, now! Stop thinking it’s some terrorist threat! Mother Nature is FORGIVING us!

queeraselvis v 2.0 February 6, 2009 at 11:58 am

Alt-text FTW.

Delicious February 6, 2009 at 11:58 am

Is that a real photo or an image scanned from the nether recesses of Andrew Sullivan’s perverted brain-thing?

CollegeStudent February 6, 2009 at 11:59 am

[re=237930]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Don’t be so hard on yourself, I spent like five minutes wondering why still alive corpses wasn’t registering in my brian. I just chalked it up to Friday morning mental deficiency.

MarieDeGournay February 6, 2009 at 12:02 pm

[re=237918]Mustang[/re]: WIN

IceCreamEmpress February 6, 2009 at 12:05 pm

Just like me
They long to be
Close to VP

Aaaah, aaah aaah
Close to Joe (x2)

On the day that he was born
The angels got together
And decided to create a dream come true
So they sprinkled hairplugs on his scalp
And tumors up behind his eyes of blue

And that is why
All the dogs in town
Follow him
All around
Just like me
They want to be
Close to JB

Sara K. Smith February 6, 2009 at 12:05 pm

[re=237930]ManchuCandidate[/re]: “Still-alive baby corpses” sounds like something Sarah Palin would be very concerned about, so I’m all for ‘em.

IceCreamEmpress February 6, 2009 at 12:10 pm

Still-alive baby corpses” sounds like something Sarah Palin would be very concerned about, so I’m all for ‘em.

We’re rebranding them as “ZOMBORTIONS” because zombies are very hot right now with the kids.

Lascauxcaveman February 6, 2009 at 12:28 pm

[re=237930]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Yes, however, “Live Corpses” would be a good name for a goth-metal band.

Cape Clod February 6, 2009 at 12:29 pm

How drunk does a raccoon have to be to hit on a dog like that?

(Rim-shot)

snideinplainsight February 6, 2009 at 12:38 pm

They love hot dogs. With lubency. Lubenciously. and with relish.

PerhapsSo February 6, 2009 at 12:46 pm

We really do need some kind of Wonketeer bat signal, like a big lit-up truck nut in the sky.

Jollity February 6, 2009 at 12:53 pm

Perhaps Queenie is intimidated by Joe Biden’s dogs, who are German Shepherds – not known for their quiet and retiring nature. Okay, one of them’s a puppy, but still.

Suds McKenzie February 6, 2009 at 1:09 pm

This “Observatory Circle” Aggression would never have stood during the Cheney days. No wonder he thinks we are all doomed.

Colander February 6, 2009 at 1:10 pm

[re=237988]PerhapsSo[/re]: It would just be a regular bat signal, beckoning in the sky, except it would be Bligeed, so we’d know it was for us.

tacdab February 6, 2009 at 1:37 pm

Raccoons fucking dogs as a thumbnail = very cool. Alt Text FTW.

Humble Respectable Flexible February 6, 2009 at 1:38 pm

They lost the dog on 25th and P? Too bad the Bush girls aren’t in town anymore; that’s where their drinking hangouts are.

lawrenceofthedesert February 6, 2009 at 2:12 pm

Why you have chosen to run a salacious photo of George and Sharon Runner, personal political slaves to Ken Layne, is, as Churchill said of Sarah Palin, “a mystery wrapped in an enigloo.”

AxmxZ February 6, 2009 at 2:34 pm

[re=237932]actor212[/re]: Next, watch for random pidgeons landing on Barry as he walks to his car.

SwamTheRiver February 6, 2009 at 3:51 pm

Inter-species Porn is cool! Queenie 2012!

Sabre_Justice February 6, 2009 at 7:44 pm

Obama is a friend to all living things.

…how Mary Sue can you get?!

assistant/atlas February 6, 2009 at 7:58 pm

[re=238048]lawrenceofthedesert[/re]: I don’t know why but “a mystery wrapped in an enigloo” made me LOL, which was not appreciated by my co-workers. They just don’t understand.

you cannot be serious February 6, 2009 at 8:36 pm

Hey – when the fairy tale princess sings for help from the critters, she takes what she gets.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAsG__XjU8Q

Grimnir February 7, 2009 at 9:16 pm

I was going to go and do my part for Democracy. But then I remembered the last time I tried to help an animal and ended up having a duck sitting in my garage for half the winter…

Sorry, I pass.

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