- Director of National Intelligence Dennis Blair says that restless poors around the world now present a greater threat to United States security than terrorists. [Washington Post]
- Abraham Lincoln turned 200 years young yesterday, which you already knew when Obama appointed him Commerce Secretary. [Gettysburg Times]
- Stewart Parnell, the salmonella king who unleashed vats of toxic peanut butter on an unsuspecting public, is now living in shame like a hermit. [AP]
- Australian police have arrested a man they suspect started one of the recent brushfires that ended up killing at least 181 people total. The suspect is in a supersecret extra-secure location, for fear that angry Ozzies might track him down and murder his ass. [Guardian]
- A lesson Obama has learned his first few weeks in office: Do not let House Democrats write their own bills. [New York Times]
- A smallish passenger plane crashed near Buffalo, killing all 49 passengers and one occupant of the house it landed on. [Bloomberg]
The Case Of The Poisoned Peanut Butter Recluse
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Who died and made him Salmonella King?
Oh yeah…
“angry Ozzies … track him down and murder his ass”
The plot line of almost every Austrailian movie I have ever seen.
“that restless poors around the world now present a greater threat to United States ”
No shit. Especially since US banks and brokerages are the AQ of finance.
As for Salmonella King, me thinks they didn’t ask the neighbors who ate his peanut butter. Too busy throwing up, shitting or dying to comment. The guy should leverage his Salmonella King title and turn a rat turd into a golden egg…
“You put some rat feces in my peanut butter”
“You put some peanut butter in my rat feces”
“Two tastes combine to make Salmonella King’s new candy sensation. Meeses Pieces Peanut Butter Cups!”
How fucked is your karma when a plane lands on your house? Also.
The Australian suspect, who is being housed in an undisclosed location, was also charged with possession of child porn.
The R’s have not just gone out of power, they’ve moved to Australia.
>>living in shame like a hermit
A very rich, almost beyond the law, hermit.
[re=242868]shanemacgowan[/re]: The Australian PM was the only world figure who’d be caught in the same room as W at the end…
[re=242868]shanemacgowan[/re]:
I hope it’s Rupert Murdoch.
[re=242867]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: “Well, we’re living here in Buffalo, it’s miserable, cold and dumpy, but at least we have our house. Hark, do I hear a plane approaching?”
‘The Salmonella King’ sounds like a fine musical that’s just waiting to be written.
‘Friends and clients close to Parnell said he’s not a monster, just a person who has made mistakes.’
A mistake is going to a Coldplay concert thinking that you are going to hear good music. Knowly selling salmonella tainted food because you don’t want to take the loss is the act of a criminal.
Salmonella? Didn’t he used to play third base for the Oakland A’s? [ducks]
poor –> terrorist
So obvious.
[re=242864]JamesMichaelCurley[/re]:
The Ozzies would do it cheerfully and in interesting outfits, too.
Did you read the article? They said the suspect couldn’t appear in the courtroom because he was in delicate mental health. He KNOWS what his neighbors would like to do to him and that no court in the nation would convict them for it.
[re=242879]DoctorCulturae[/re]:
No, but he DID appear in Rebel Without a Cause, along with James Dean.
[re=242880]Herunar[/re]: terrorist -> old skool
This has got to be heartbreaking for them.
[re=242880]Herunar[/re]:
Seriously, why does Hopey want to give tax credits to terrorists?
Why are the poor wasting their money on weapons? Poor people just don’t understand frugality.
Shouldn’t it read Angry Aussies? I keep thinking millions of Angry Ozzie Ozbornes.
Where was Sully?
Yes, but did Commerce nominee Zombie Lincoln pay his taxes? CRANK UP THE DRUDGE SIREN.
[re=242900]Come here a minute[/re]: Basking in the glow. When informed of the news he was overheard to remark: “Whatev.”
Just a guy that made the mistake of a couple of grand in profit for a few random people’s lives.
Try harder, Mr. Parnell — you’re still only the second most toxic thing to come out of Lynchburg.
Goddamn Chinese people and their crappy standards. First toys and now peanut butter.
Seriously, there really ought not to be prop planes filled with commuters flipping in the sky when conditions are near freezing and young pilots fly too slowly to avoid icing on the wings. This should have been hashed out several years ago. Take jets people. I’d rather take my odds against a few geese in the sky than worrying if my pilot is aware that water under a certain temperature freezes and will turn the plane into the wrong kind of vomit comet.
I thought Keynes was the nominee for Commerce. Oh right, he’s Treasury.
[re=242874]Cape Clod[/re]: A mistake is going to a Coldplay concert thinking that you are going to hear good music. Knowly selling salmonella tainted food because you don’t want to take the loss is the act of a criminal.
His friends didn’t say he wasn’t a criminal. They said he wasn’t a monster.
[re=242867]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: How fucked is your karma when a plane lands on your house? Also.
I still giggle when I see Also appended to an especially amusing snark. May the meme never die.
Some of my ‘valentines’ are flight attendants and I get a bit freaked at crashes. Not this time, but still. I worry, because, you know, gigolo with heart of gold or whatevs. Silver, anyway.
In reality, they just wanted to keep the fire-starter sequestered from the raging, cutely-pissed homeless koalas.
“A little over a month ago, Parnell was telling friends and clients just how good things were in his peanut business, which operates three plants in as many states. He was spending time with his grandchild, looking forward to some more hunting and getting his boat out on the water.”
Is this supposed to tell us he’s just a regular guy with guns and boats and grandkids like the rest of us rich white people in our gated community? ‘Cuz when I read the second sentence, alarm bells went off that he is almost certainly a human sack of rat droppings. In fact, I’ll take all bets: if some prick is looking forward to hunting and getting his boat on the water, I pretty much guarantee he is fucking someone over in his business, poisoning people to increase profits, writing his hookers off as a tax expense, and so on.
[re=242940]TGY[/re]: uhhh, so, you are screwing multiple stewardesses? Wonkette is a strange place
[re=242933]Mr Blifil[/re]:
Turboprops have de-icing boots and a much lower stall speed; characteristics that make them much safer than jets, especially in inclement weather.
The link at the end “UK University says sorry for excrement error”, thats the story to follow. Nuf said
[re=242874]Cape Clod[/re]: Friends and clients close to Parnell said he’s not a monster, just a person who has made mistakes.
Sounds like an after the fact description of every serial killer in recent memory.
[re=242952]Norbert[/re]: Jealous much?
[re=242863]Dawn Keipuntsh[/re]: WIN! God, you’re evil … made me blow coffee out my nose.
[re=242976]binarian[/re]: Yeah. Lots of friends and neighbors and folks at his church thought that Bruce Pardo was just a helluva guy, too.
[re=242979]HuddledMass[/re]: hell yeah, you’re not?
[re=242953]Servo[/re]: One would assume, but if they are flown at too slow a speed on approach, as happened in a rash of events in the late 90s if I recall, they’ll ice up and flip. This led NTSB to emphasize raising minimum speed recommendations for commuter prop planes in freezing rain conditions. Jets won’t suffer icing once airborne, because they never fly slow enough for ice to form. Icing affecting takeoff is a problem for jets bigtime, I grant you.
I was kinda only kidding about not riding prop planes, but it sucks that icing is still a problem for which people are paying with their lives. Very depressing.
[re=242931]Mustang[/re]: That salmonella-infested peanut butter plant was in GA–not China.
[re=243034]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: But the peanut plant with rodent droppings and dead insects was in Plainview, Texas, so we win!
Colgan Air did a service, one less shrill harpie 9/11 widow.
It is so depressing that I know this stuff, but the difference between jets and the type of plane that crashed is that jets heat the wings to clear the ice while the turbo use air bladders to break up the ice. God, I gotta drink more to forget this stuff…..
[re=243084]Elm Hugger[/re]: So we could be talking about a weak bladder here? I’m qualified to speak on this topic.
[re=243059]chascates[/re]: And that’s one of the nicer things about Plainview.
[re=243027]Mr Blifil[/re]:
Bernoulli’s principle, my friend. When velocity increases, pressure and temperature decrease. Speed is very much a factor in ice accumulation, and it doesn’t have to be in winter. The faster the aircraft, the greater the chance for icing.
In any case, the greatest danger of icing also occurs at a flight’s most critical moments, landing and take-off/climb-out. Ice disturbs airflow over the wings, causing a reduction in lift or, if severe enough, a complete stall. Stalls are generally characterized by the aircraft rolling (flipping) from engine torque and p-factor if a prop.
On approaches, pilots tend to maintain an airspeed of approximately 130% of the stall speed. If there is a small amount of ice, that stall speed increases…a lot.
My conclusion: The pilot failed to recognize the ice problem and didn’t maintain enough airspeed.
If there was a deadhead in the jumpseat, the cockpit was most likely a clusterfuck.
Eyewitnesses heard the engine “sputter”. My guess is that ice had accumulated on the prop blades and caused a severe, but momentary, imbalance.
The Australians have arrested Dick Cheney?
I hope that Parnell asshat dies. Seriously. Or maybe it’s the the PB-DTs talkin…
[re=243173]Servo[/re]:
I have another thought, perhaps they fed the pilot and co a couple bags of those peanuts, if one is in the head and the other is waiting outside, then who is flying the thing???
On another really sad note, I remember disembarking from the type of plane that crashed in Indiana (was it a Fiat?) and I saw a sign that said that none of the passengers could get off until they put what looked like a pylon under the tail of the plane least it tip over from the weight shift. Another reason I think my Dad only liked trains. If it breaks down you just go outside and play a game of cards.
American slang is so confusing. Are you suggesting that Australians are planning to take revenge y murdering the arsonist’s donkey?
If he possesses one, the poor ass has probably suffered enough.
This is what poisoning people with biowarfare-grade goober peas will net you in Lynchburg, VA real estate (standard-issue McMansion).
And the plane, to ride between your decrepit peanut processing plants, in Georgia and Texas.
Where Mr. Parnell flew in his salmonella-fueled plane.
Parnell’s fishing craft, paid with filthy poison peanut lucre.
Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
There’s a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby…
Happier (?) days.
Poor Daughter Parnell.
What will become of little “Doodlebooper” Parnell (2nd Gen)?
[re=243077]flyingspaghettimonster[/re]: OUCH. That was cold.
Do you think Parnell’s grandkids ate any of that peanutbutter? I bet the poor terrorists did.
So can we declare war on the world’s poor already? I knew they were worse than terrorists
The fabulous salmonella/aflotoxin-enriched life that is Stewart Parnell’s.
His aviation comings and goings.
Maison d’Beurre d’Arachide Empoisonné.
George Washington Carver wept…
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