• February 14, 2012

This is what happens when you wear Spandex around George BushMark McKinnon, the lonesome cowboy who preferred to quit John McCain’s campaign rather than say a cross word about Barack Obama, is great friends with the former president George W. Bush and recently went biking with him at his ranch. McKinnon fell off his bicycle and BUNGED HISSELF UP GOOD, breaking his collarbone and knocking himself out for several minutes. When he awoke, he found himself in a tub full of ice with a seven-inch incision where his kidneys used to be, and George Bush jumped out of the closet wearing a Batman costume… [New York Post]

{ 44 comments }

Mild Midwesterner February 13, 2009 at 10:01 am

He wouldn’t have run off the trail if Bush has properly cleared that brush.

ManchuCandidate February 13, 2009 at 10:01 am

Mark didn’t yell “Air Assault” enough for W’s liking so W jammed a stick into his spokes.

Texan Bulldoggette February 13, 2009 at 10:02 am

How much of a klutz are you to fall off your bike? Maybe they were doing that X-games biking crap off ramps or something….

Serolf Divad February 13, 2009 at 10:03 am

But, having ridden with the president before, I know how hard he rides.

Translation: “I wish I could quit you!”

Monsieur Grumpe February 13, 2009 at 10:06 am

Cowboy hats do not make good bike helmets. Fact!

nrkeyqueer February 13, 2009 at 10:06 am

McKinnon’s kidneys are either sitting in Cheney’s fridge or being sold on the Argentinian black market.

Capitol Hillbilly February 13, 2009 at 10:08 am

he brought his “personal doctor” along for the visit. this is looking gayer by the minute.

magic titty February 13, 2009 at 10:08 am

[re=242896]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Win.

freakishlystrong February 13, 2009 at 10:08 am

WHERE WAS CHENEY?

Come here a minute February 13, 2009 at 10:09 am

Just a day earlier, then-Transportation Secretary Mary Peters said in a speech that the absence of fatalities for two consecutive years, 2007 and 2008, marked the first such streak since U.S. airlines started using jets in the 1950s.

Forgot to knock on wood.

Mr Blifil February 13, 2009 at 10:10 am

They had a spat, a tiff, superficial, yet somehow deep. A tearful Bush was storming home in full dudgeon, with McKinnon hastily, clumsily trying to keep up. He only wanted to apologize! Oh if he only had it to do all over again. But no. The Iraqi child’s heart he had offered as this year’s Valentine was somehow viewed as a snub. Probably because George had already got at least 50 from other well-wishers and hoped Mark had got him something “special.”

Mr Blifil February 13, 2009 at 10:10 am

[re=242892]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Yeah. Sounds like McKinnon was the ramp.

Terry February 13, 2009 at 10:11 am

Are they sure he was knocked out by the fall? Where was Cheney when this happened? Was he armed?

shanemacgowan February 13, 2009 at 10:11 am

If Jr. was a real man, he would have shot him in the face like Cheney did to that guy that pissed him off.

Oh, and thank you, [re=242894]Serolf Divad[/re]:

Delicious February 13, 2009 at 10:12 am

Where’s the YouTube faceplant video?

Come here a minute February 13, 2009 at 10:13 am

[re=242903]Come here a minute[/re]: Wrong thread, moran.

SeminoleInDior February 13, 2009 at 10:17 am

“Bunged hisself up good” – Thanks, Sara K. I was just getting all misty last night about how I miss the south, and then you go say something like this and make me miss the white trash all over again.

Delicious February 13, 2009 at 10:19 am

[re=242908]Delicious[/re]: Here it is:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ANZjRhoKrkI

AngryBlakGuy February 13, 2009 at 10:19 am

…I envision it going something like THIS!

snideinplainsight February 13, 2009 at 10:19 am

Wrong threads are the entire basis of Wonkette humor!!1!1 My whole life is spent in the wrong thread!
Also.

AngryBlakGuy February 13, 2009 at 10:23 am

…Mark McKinnon does look like he needs a little asphalt in his diet!

Mr Blifil February 13, 2009 at 10:24 am

[re=242909]Come here a minute[/re]: Jesus those dicks at NRO are watching us man. GET YER HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS!!!!

TGY February 13, 2009 at 10:29 am

Some people don’t know when to leave off putting baseball cards in their spokes.

SayItWithWookies February 13, 2009 at 10:34 am

This is surprising — Dubya had it on good intelligence that the path was level and straight.

One Yield Regular February 13, 2009 at 10:34 am

Is “bunged hisself up good” a euphemism for “got shot in the face”?

Serolf Divad February 13, 2009 at 10:41 am

[re=242926]SayItWithWookies[/re]:

“Osama Bin Ladin determined to trip up Mark McKinnon.”

4tehlulz February 13, 2009 at 10:46 am

>>BUNGED HISSELF UP GOOD

He broke hims collarbone while fingering his bunghole? Man, talk about doing it wrong…

SayItWithWookies February 13, 2009 at 10:49 am

[re=242932]Serolf Divad[/re]: “Nobody could have anticipated a bad spill on this bike ride.”

hobospacejungle February 13, 2009 at 10:57 am

I did this when I was thirteen. Was looking down for some reason & ran into a parked car. Woke up on the street missing a few teeth. So I took the only recourse available to me at the time — I started crying until a grownup came to my assistance.

Later I spent hours undergoing dental surgery at the hands of a Mormon dentist. The scars are with me to this day. Who knows what magic underwear incantations he whispered in my ear while I was in such a vulnerable state.

freakishlystrong February 13, 2009 at 11:06 am

[re=242941]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Yes, this will be one of Dubya’s “regrets”…

Norbert February 13, 2009 at 11:14 am

too little, too late

Miller February 13, 2009 at 11:17 am

Some people just don’t know what to do when confronted by a nude Dick Cheney, greased up with a knife in his teeth, and jumping out of the sagebrush onto the bike path. McKinnon panicked, but he’s still alive, he’s just lucky Bush remembered Cheney’s safe word.

http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/

Servo February 13, 2009 at 11:20 am

Rattlesnake!

Come here a minute February 13, 2009 at 11:22 am

Must warrentlessly wire-tap, torture bikesellers, and invade Mexico to prevent the faceplant that already happened.

Servo February 13, 2009 at 11:34 am

[re=242914]AngryBlakGuy[/re]:
More like this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWONWrK7uCY

TeddyS February 13, 2009 at 11:45 am

George is still slapping his knees and laughing. “Shudda seen the ole Macky Mackster go spinnin over them handlebars and landing on his head and skidding along on his face. I’m still da Man!”

naugiedoggie February 13, 2009 at 12:05 pm

Anyone who’s done trailriding on a bicycle knows the score. And, there is a sadistic tradition among trail riders to “initiate” “probies” on the worst possible conditions, making pain and suffering almost inevitable. Unfortunately, no quality of character involved in trail riding — any a**h*** can do it. If you’re willing to take the pain.

Keram2 February 13, 2009 at 12:21 pm

[re=242999]naugiedoggie[/re]: Were they trailriding? I kindan pictured McKinnon as dumbass roadie who put on an expensive-ass ZIPP disc wheel and then got hit by The Crosswind of Justice. If only…

Hooray For Anything February 13, 2009 at 12:29 pm

Ahhh…W…is there anything he touches that doesn’t crash and break?

S.Luggo February 13, 2009 at 12:34 pm

Simultaneously, Bush choked on a pretzel and blacked out.

Remember: Biking buzzed is biking drunk.

PsycGirl February 13, 2009 at 12:49 pm

[re=242941]SayItWithWookies[/re]: “You go into the ride with the bike you have, not the bike you wish you had”.

Trace February 13, 2009 at 1:26 pm

I thought that cowboy in the picture was David Morse.

That was the closest I came to caring about the guy.

sanantonerose February 13, 2009 at 2:37 pm

Speaking of Bush’s pals, I wonder why Wonkette hasn’t commented on Karl Rove’s twittering about his South Texas hunting trip with Fox News host Chris Wallace?

heathenish February 13, 2009 at 10:05 pm

Dunk bike riding is ALWAYS dangerous.

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