• February 12, 2012

Oh look, Norm Coleman’s still trying to be a Senator. Well, what does he want now? Here are his Republican friends telling us how important it is for Norm Coleman to keep his Senate seat. Uhh isn’t that up to the courts to decide? Then, at :58, Sen. Jim Inhofe gets to the point, that we should give Norm Coleman lots of money, presumably for his legal funds. Get to it, America! You may not have a job or a house or savings or even a SINGLE AMERICAN DOLLAR, but Norm Coleman needs some cash ASAP! [YouTube]

{ 41 comments }

DeLand DeLakes February 18, 2009 at 4:59 pm

Chop chop people, Norm’s Botox ain’t gonna pay for itself!

AnnieGetYourFun February 18, 2009 at 5:01 pm

What is it about Lindsey’s face that makes me so simultaneously furious and nauseated? He has to be the only man that I have this much loathing for who is not an ex.

qwerty42 February 18, 2009 at 5:03 pm

Can we send them cans of hobo beans and truck nutz?

Dave J. February 18, 2009 at 5:04 pm

I was going to play a “oooh, who do I hate the most???” game with all the speakers, but then McConnell kicked it off, so that question was answered in the first 3 seconds.

chascates February 18, 2009 at 5:04 pm

Al Franken is the Republican’s ANTICHRIST!!
Pony up are be part of the ‘Left Behind’!

SwanSwanH February 18, 2009 at 5:04 pm

“Swedish Krona or similarly socialist government-backed currency preferred.” – Sen. Lindsay Graham

ManchuCandidate February 18, 2009 at 5:04 pm

Begging? Begging only works if you are a dog, have puppy dog eyes, great legs/boobs and know how to use them.

This Youtube equivalent of foot tapping or humping my leg doesn’t work.

whiskey tango foxtrot February 18, 2009 at 5:04 pm

Inhofe is so cute when he tries to pronounce “accurate”.

Hooray For Anything February 18, 2009 at 5:06 pm

Luckily, now that the stimulus bill has passed, people will have the extra money lying around to help Norm Coleman’s legal fees.

gjdodger February 18, 2009 at 5:07 pm

Instead of giving Norm Coleman money, can I just use the money to wipe my ass and flush it down the toilet? It’ll have the same effect.

lulzmonger February 18, 2009 at 5:08 pm

Only way he’s going to get any serious green is if he registers himself as a charity (which I wouldn’t put past him) – assuming he can get his “Charge Of The Light-Headed Brigade” thang on before the indictments come down, that is.

Keep your money … you know it’ll all go to rent-boys & drugs anyway.

queeraselvis v 2.0 February 18, 2009 at 5:09 pm

Meh. I’m not convinced until Lindsey’s mascara runs like Tammy Faye Bakker on a crying binge.

Gorillionaire February 18, 2009 at 5:11 pm

Victoria Jackson has cut back to four tubs of butter a day so that she can send the savings to Norm.

Mr Blifil February 18, 2009 at 5:14 pm

If he needs some quick scratch, Norm could consider putting his teeth up on eBay. Worked for Sister Sarah’s plane. Except for it didn’t (nobody bid on the plane).

Gopherit February 18, 2009 at 5:14 pm

Shit, the republicans don’t need any help. The spineless senate dems are handing them everything they want anyway.

SayItWithWookies February 18, 2009 at 5:15 pm

“Remember — only your money can help this member of the anti-trial lawyer party have his day in court so he can overturn the will of the peo — uh, fight for you.”

Monsieur Grumpe February 18, 2009 at 5:16 pm

The Norm/Franken ruckus is on the news daily here in Minnesota and it has gotten very old and boring. It’s time for a Midwest Wrestling Death Match complete with a molten hot dish pit, an icy sidewalk race and Fargo style wood chipper duel.

Josh Fruhlinger February 18, 2009 at 5:18 pm

Boy, Lamar Alexander sure isn’t looking so hot. I can see why the exclamation mark has long been removed from his first name.

Internally valid February 18, 2009 at 5:21 pm

I liked the last guy from NC the best (Burr or something? Never heard of him). He couldn’t keep a straight face and almost laughed every time he said “Republican.”

Internally valid February 18, 2009 at 5:23 pm

[re=246497]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: That may be the best way to get Jesse Ventura in this race, at long last.

Red Zeppelin February 18, 2009 at 5:27 pm

I was going to tell Lindsey to eat a bag of dicks, but I think he would enjoy it.

qwerty42 February 18, 2009 at 5:27 pm

maybe we could send money/drugs/whatever to Michele Bachmann

Styrofoam Boots February 18, 2009 at 5:28 pm

So, if I give Norm some money, what percentage goes to his wife?

SayItWithWookies February 18, 2009 at 5:29 pm

[re=246471]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: He’s got a rare mix — baby fat in the face plus the pulled-back skin of someone who’s had a lift done. It belies both callow insecurity and the unfulfilled vanity of a fading gay dandy. Clearly anyone who spends as much time as he does in front of a mirror every morning with a “natural” bronzer and a powder puff has managed to snuff out any native intelligence that might’ve been struggling towards the sunlight in that little rodent brain of his. Not that I’ve given this much thought or anything.

V572625694 February 18, 2009 at 5:31 pm

[re=246499]Josh Fruhlinger[/re]: Who knew he was still in the Senate? After you get a demeaning nickname (“Plaid Man Walking”) from Mary Matalin, it’s pretty much obligatory that you disappear. But think about what might have been had he won in — what was it — 1992?

Judas Peckerwood February 18, 2009 at 5:50 pm

Norm is so sure that he’ll be staying in the Senate that he went out and got a new job shilling for the Republican Jewish Coalition. Talk about unshakable faith and commitment!

WadISay February 18, 2009 at 6:05 pm

Hey Wonkette, how about a warning for those of us who can’t stand to see one after another Southern white middle aged jowly male face drawling on about how us’ns need to buy this old boy back from them Jew-boys he’s working fo’ now?

[re=246502]Internally valid[/re]: I think he was supressing a snicker thinking about how pathetic it was to say, “We need 42 Republicans in the US Senate.”

AnnieGetYourFun February 18, 2009 at 6:08 pm

[re=246519]SayItWithWookies[/re]: OMFG. The bronzer. I can’t believe I didn’t notice that. I worked at Sephora, for fuck’s sake.

hockeymom February 18, 2009 at 6:16 pm

Norm needs money, but it’s for a new addition on his house. PAY UP, TAXPAYERS! MASTER SUITES DON’T PAY FOR THEMSELVES!1!1

nrkeyqueer February 18, 2009 at 6:42 pm

Lindsey sounds jutht THUPER!

Lionel Hutz Esq. February 18, 2009 at 6:48 pm

Come on, people. If Norm can’t stay in the Senate, he will have to live with his wife. Hell, you might as well just throw him out of the Republican party then.

Scarab February 18, 2009 at 7:12 pm

The is ad was paid for by Coleman in ’08. Nice.

DustBowlBlues February 18, 2009 at 7:40 pm

A little bit of money could make a difference, my own Sen. Inhofe? What? Are you suddenly channeling out of work UAW workers? Fuck you, fuckers.

And from now on, Lindsay Graham has to be represented as R-Closet. Still can’t remember the member of the wonkeratti who invented that one, but it’s genius. BTW–Lindsay sounds a lot gayer than he did before he started campaigning with his best pal, John. Coincidence?

DustBowlBlues February 18, 2009 at 8:38 pm

[re=246478]whiskey tango foxtrot[/re]: Inhofe does have trouble with accurate, doesn’t he? What a moron.

momus February 18, 2009 at 9:23 pm

Is this the same Norm Coleman that couldn’t beat Al “our pal” Franken in one-on-one or is this a new, improved lawyered-up Norm Coleman? Is there any significance to the fact that only Thune, Murkwoski, and Burr are up for re-election in two years? Isn’t Murkowski a furrin name? Ruski, perhaps? Why didn’t Dr. No (R-OK) and St. Ron of Paul (R-Tx) appear in this video? For that matter, why didn’t Norm make an appearance?

Trace February 18, 2009 at 10:21 pm

Norm Coleman, man. I don’t know. Have you seen this guy? I mean, he’s ugly and that’s a big deal, but I don’t feel bad saying so because he’s such an asshole.

But he sort of HAS to be, doesn’t he? A life spent being pelted by fruit and forced to live in the sewer will do that to you. His only friends are the rats, who don’t realize what an abomination he is. They don’t judge him. And yet he must eat to survive, and so he is forced each day to devour a few of his companions, sobbing between bites.

And all of that fat just goes straight to his enormous monster head.

Tragic ugly bastard. Even if you don’t win, you’ll always be Senator of the Sewer Mutants.

S.Luggo February 19, 2009 at 12:05 am

Excellent photo below considering how long it took to floss the dog pubic hair from his dentures and then soak them overnight in Lucky Strikes butts.
http://frictionandfiction.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/0_62_mcconnell_mitch.jpg

BTW: Boehner sounds like he is testifying at his own federal indictment.
Time.

Ronnie Dobbs February 19, 2009 at 12:12 am

i just can’t get over how gay lindsey graham is.

Ronnie Dobbs February 19, 2009 at 12:17 am

not that there is anything wrong with that…

hobospacejungle February 19, 2009 at 12:33 am
BobLoblawLawBlog February 19, 2009 at 7:43 am

He should just ask Burris. He’s a great fundraiser, I hear. Or at least willing.

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