• February 15, 2012
  • Several southern Republican governors, determined to keep their states as impoverished and hopeless as possible, have vowed not to accept at least some portions of the federal government’s stimulus money. [Reuters]
  • President Obama commences his fiscal responsibility summit today, in which a half-dozen Republicans will be eaten by lions in front of roaring crowds. [AP]
  • Michelle Obama gave a little tour of the White House kitchen and uttered such wildly circuitous, passively constructed sentences about waffles and grits it was as if Sarah Palin had invaded her body for a moment. Until we see the medical records, we’ll never know who eats those waffles and grits. [Fox News]
  • The economic situation will get worse before it gets better, and we won’t see 5 percent unemployment until (gulp) 2013. [AP]
  • San Francisco gays don’t care about starving slum children in Mumbai, only Sean Penn. [San Francisco Chronicle]
  • Marion Barry continues to improve following his kidney transplant surgery on Friday. [Washington Post]

{ 36 comments }

Serolf Divad February 23, 2009 at 9:00 am

Here’s the sad part: I’d be willing to bet that in places like Mississippi and Louisiana there’s a significant portion of the population that refuses to take a handout from a n*gger. Of course, we’ll see how they feel about such handouts after they’ve been out of a job for 18 months, but for now I’ll bet these Southern fried retards in the Louisiana, South Carolina and Mississippi governors mansions probably enjoy a surprising amount of support.

TGY February 23, 2009 at 9:00 am

Several southern Republican governors

As I understand it, the governor of Mississippi has decided not to accept his $42.50, fearing that such great wealth would corrupt the state. He has agreed to accept several rolls of duct-tape for infrastructure repairs, instead.

V572625694 February 23, 2009 at 9:04 am

Boy, you wonder why Marion Barry would have kidney problems.

Nedrick February 23, 2009 at 9:05 am

Thanks-but-no-thanks, y’all

4tehlulz February 23, 2009 at 9:11 am

I would be happy to help the decline of Alabama in particular, as Richard Shelby apparently thinks Obama is not American.

Call me Dick, and we can talk about how to meet our mutual goals of making Mississippi look good.

Serolf Divad February 23, 2009 at 9:15 am

[re=249080]V572625694[/re]:

Believe it or not, it’s possible to live a too healthy lifestyle.

4tehlulz February 23, 2009 at 9:18 am

[re=249080]V572625694[/re]: The bitch set up his kidneys!

Terry February 23, 2009 at 9:24 am

[re=249084]Serolf Divad[/re]:

I hope that his doctors put a few strings on this whole thing.

“Marion, dude, if we see you drinking all night down at a bar along Maine Avenue, we’re taking the kidney back. If we see you hitting the pipe again, we’re taking the kidney back. If we see you…”

PAbitter February 23, 2009 at 9:36 am

[re=249082]4tehlulz[/re]: You know, I don’t think that Bob Riley has been bitching about how teh stimulus is EBIL and how he won’t take it. He is, of course, one of the few Southern Republicans who was rumored to have some sort of rudimentary heart-like device.

wheelie February 23, 2009 at 9:36 am

San Francisco gays don’t care about starving slum children in Mumbai, only Sean Penn.

Maybe if the Mumbai slum kids made an effort to be FABULOUS, instead of sitting around in the gutter going “Boo hoo, I’m so hungry”, I might give a crap about them. Nobody likes a whiner, dahlings!

MarieDeGournay February 23, 2009 at 9:36 am

I do hope Barry wears a toga and a laurel wreath for the summit.

slavojzizek February 23, 2009 at 9:36 am

The economy will turn the corner in 2013? Optimist!

mylesfromnowhere February 23, 2009 at 9:41 am

“President Obama commences his fiscal responsibility summit today, in which a half-dozen Republicans will be eaten by lions in front of roaring crowds.”

WTF! I’d have traded whore diamonds and hobo beans for a ticket to this! Hell, I’d even bring along a couple of Republicans for the rehearsal! Damn, always day late dollar short.
This would be much more entertaining than those slumdogs in rented tuxes.

Godot February 23, 2009 at 9:45 am

Should we make anything of the fact that the URL for the Fox News story about waffles ‘n’ grits leaves out the word “First” from the headline, making it “http://www.foxnews.com/politics/first100days/2009/02/23/waffles-grits-white-house-favorite-lady-says/“?

Y’know, some lady said it. Michelle something? Not really sure, sounded foreign.

Mitchbailey February 23, 2009 at 9:47 am

Why would these southern governors take stimulus dollars directly from the U.S. government when they can get laundered money from the foreign auto manufactures?

ManchuCandidate February 23, 2009 at 9:48 am

It’s really cute that the leaders of the trailer park states think that they can win points with their populace by no accepting stimulus money.

Can you guys kick states out for being stupid?

shanemacgowan February 23, 2009 at 9:48 am

Republican Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty seems to be advocating a system where federal money flows back to the states in accord with that state’s pro-rata contribution to the federal budget. I wonder if the Republican Governors of states such as Mississippi, Alabama, Florida, Wyoming, Utah, and Texas(who combined contribute approximately $0.85 to the US Treasury annually) would support that idea.

DoctorCulturae February 23, 2009 at 9:53 am

[re=249091]wheelie[/re]: Those Mumbai kids were upset because the Bruno movie release date has been pushed back to July.

WadISay February 23, 2009 at 9:58 am

[re=249098]shanemacgowan[/re]: Timmy P. can kiss Alaska’s three electoral votes good-bye. Also.

WagTehGod February 23, 2009 at 10:01 am

I don’t see any Muslin dishes on the menu.

WadISay February 23, 2009 at 10:03 am

Big, big loser at the Oscars: Nate Silver. Bwahahaha, Nate, where are all your fancy non-gay algorithms now?

norbizness February 23, 2009 at 10:06 am

What was Sanford’s final, trivial objection? Not wanting money for green construction projects? “Fuck that, we’re using tar, asbestos, and coal-burning A/C units! That’ll show them Communists!”

Bruno February 23, 2009 at 10:39 am

[re=249102]DoctorCulturae[/re]: Sorry about that. New things must be included!

Bruno February 23, 2009 at 10:42 am

[re=249098]shanemacgowan[/re]: only $0.85? I would think under this scenario, they actually have to give money into the stimulus package.

Bruno February 23, 2009 at 10:44 am

Do these governors seriously think that in 3 years not taking money will help their presidential ambitions?

Well, I actually kind of hope they do think that.

Lazy Media February 23, 2009 at 10:47 am

The worst part is that all of these retards are claiming they thought up this bold stand against fed’rul socialism on their own. This has to be blown straight from the RNC’s colon. And, they’re lying. They’ll all take the money, because they can’t balance their budgets otherwise.

Mr Blifil February 23, 2009 at 10:57 am

I would enjoy mixing my grits with her waffles.

Servo February 23, 2009 at 11:01 am

Where’s your originality, Repuke Guvs? Queen Bullwinkle of the North has laid the foundation for your new GOP status quo…”Thanks, but no thanks.” Trouble is, the only people buying it are yourselves and your bible thumpin’, corndog eatin’, bathing optional constituents.

SayItWithWookies February 23, 2009 at 11:33 am

“The President calls Bill ‘The Crust Master’ because he’s a big pie guy and…”

Okay, Michelle — stop. Just. Stop.

Lascauxcaveman February 23, 2009 at 11:43 am

The Berry is a known junkie, how did he get on the kidney wait list in the first place?

Oy, we suddenly got a big surplus of extra kidneys lying around?

S.Luggo February 23, 2009 at 11:51 am

—- [Gov.] Sanford, on “Fox News Sunday” said some of the stimulus money came with strings attached. —-
Yup, dammit all. The money can’t be used to build detention camps for ethnics.

Sonny Perdue also finds the Stimulus Package morally repugnant. It will help the freeloading poors get abortions for their cats, but will not help the rich pay the employer’s share of Medicare taxes for servants. Booo.
http://www.ajc.com/services/content/printedition/2009/02/23/sonny0223.html
The money can’t be used to buy anti-gay pills for GSU students, also.

sarahconnor February 23, 2009 at 11:54 am

Gah, I hope Barry does not get fat in office from all the pies and the grits and the waffles and the french fries. No Barry, nooooooo!

sati demise February 23, 2009 at 12:44 pm

[re=249191]SayItWithWookies[/re]: this was paraphrased by the reporter.
We do not know what Michelle actually said.
We are reading an article from teh Foxy News, after all.

Bearbloke February 23, 2009 at 1:48 pm

I say starve the Confederate Welfare States! But in the meantime, let ‘em know that it’s us Commie Homo-Loving Sons of Guns like Hollywood LIE-BRULL Sean Penn who are actually paying for their Moon Pies, chewin’ tobaccy and pewter-plated bibles….

Madeline February 23, 2009 at 2:01 pm

Michelle was just trying to avoid saying that Barack eats like a goddamn pig and still manages to remain fit, the bastard. Remember this story: http://www.saveur.com/article/Our-Favorite-Foods/Breakfast-of-Champions ?

“BARACK OBAMA, Democratic presidential nominee, Illinois senator: Four to six eggs, potatoes, and wheat toast. Every now and then, fruit, bacon, and oatmeal.”

Bearbloke February 23, 2009 at 2:39 pm

[re=249216]sarahconnor[/re]: Grits are actually fairly good for you, as long as you don’t load it down with too much salt or butter or corn syrup (yuck!)… I prefer maple syrup or unsweetened apple butter myself. Other times I might get all savoury on it and put in Tabasco sauce, mushed-up soft boiled eggs, or red-eye gravy. Give it all a try sometime!

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