Georgia State is the most fantastic university in America because it gives you several hours of academic credits for attending hands-on, how-to classes about ORAL SEX and GAYNESS, which is to say, relatively dry theoretical courses on “sexuality and society” and queer theory. (Many college students the world over have been baffled at the ability of academics to sap even the most salacious topics of even a hint of excitement; your editor recalls a lecture on Foucault turning into a massive snoozy buzzkill by the professor, a tiny and hilarious little old Mr. McGoo type, spending more time talking about the Panopticon than with what he called “SM.”) The point is, every student who goes to Georgia State immediately turns gay and gets a four-year supply of dental dams and/or condoms upon enrollment. Sign up now! [CNN]
Learn How To Be A Prostitute At Georgia State!
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I think it was in Psych 210 (everyone said “Sex 210″) back at the U of W where our perfessers told us a typical male ejaculation was full of basic nutrients, and very non fattening, with only about ten calories.
When I remind my wife of this, she remains unimpressed.
Well this certainly made me think. About how to justify putting in a request to have Flash 10 installed on my heavily locked-down PC.
And yeah, the sex classes in college were pretty dull, but one of my religion professors encouraged everyone to take acid — you just have to look in the unexpected places is all.
I vote we fight the Civil war again… except this time it’ll be the North fighting to force these ignorant retards to secede.
I once had a friend who went to Goddard college (where David Mamet went), which was/is (?) a legendary hippie training ground in Vermont. She assured me they gave seminars specifically about Oral Sex, which she claimed she did not participate in. She also told me they had no sports teams, but had to choose school colors from a uniform company. The only colors the company could not produce were puce and heliotrope. Therefore Puce and Heliotrope became the official school colors and Goddard. Mind you this is second hand information, so she could just have been fucking with me.
The key phrase here is “Georgia lawmakers” – some of the stupidest people on the planet.
Hooray! Another opportunity for the redneck know-nothings, and their Georgia political enablers, to demonstrate their ignorance and prejudice. Very educational! Has Jack McCafferty provided his invaluable e-mail-reading time-kill services on this hot topic yet? Or have they fired his lazy ass yet?
Is this the same college that Newt Gingrich taught at? Do they have classes on how to dump your wife while she is in the Hospital for cancer treatments? Or how to have an affair with an intern?
good old Georgia always fighting the universities and their gay-Jewish-hippie-communist conspiracy to turn good children into liberal elitist prostitutes. sometimes i wonder about peoples sanity.
So… the pendulum guy was into the kinky stuff as well?
So Jeff Gannon is teaching college now?
BTW: this report reminds me of the other stupidest thing you’ll run across. Anytime a government budget is proposed, just wait for a few minutes and some right-wing anti-tax group will point out that this budget includes funds to study such awful things as the sex lives of ants. Of course, what they’ll never tell you is that a whole class of modern pesticides works by fooling insects’ reproductive systems, so that’s why we study the sex lives of bugs.
It also reminds me of John McCain having a hissy fit that Barack Obama sought Federal funds for a planetarium to purchase an “overhead projector” which actually wasn’t an overhead projector at all, but rather, a sophisticated planetarium projector to teach children basic astronomical concepts.
Basically, you should never let a Republican elected official anywhere near a place where real research and learning goes on.
“Pay professors to teach your kids…”
Um… they’re 18+, they’re adults. They can vote. They can be drafted. How come Republicans can bitch about people over 18 living off their parents but then turn around and treat said adults as minors in cases like this?
Velvet Jones School of Technology joins in this crusade to keep learning prostitution in the hands of private enterprise.
[re=249209]Guppy06[/re]: He liked to do it in a church.
I was taught “Foucault and the History of Sexuality” by Arnold Davidson. Not only was he shiny-bald, but a lot of TAs in the department shaved their heads as well. One wonders if they also injected themselves in the ass with AIDS.
Christ. As a native Georgian, I look forward to the day when my home state legislature reinstates snake handling as a substitute for jury trials.
From Raw Story:
http://tinyurl.com/cqzraf
Mindy Stombler is the professor listed as being an expert in oral sex. According to the GSU website, “Her latest research project involves unraveling the power dynamic embedded in the practices of oral sex, particularly cunnilingus, and connecting conceptualizations of cunnilingus to public discourse (particularly messages about oral sex sent through music and other media).”
[re=249218]AxmxZ[/re]: A very tasteful quip, there.
We here in Georgia didn’t pay our tax dollars so students at our universities could be taught about oral sex. We paid our tax dollars so that they could learn about how people shut be put to death for eating shellfish, which is forbidden, and also that they worship the Bulldogs football team.
Isn’t oral sex (& buttsecks) what the teenagers are doing these days to keep their virginity & technically not be sexually active? I wonder how they explain the increased cold sores on their mouths to momma & poppa.
But seriously, it’s the world’s oldest profession. And people who are taking such a class are likely to end up in said profession by 2016, so why all the hulaballo?
The most awesome part was when the student said that if she wanted to learn about oral sex and gay prostitution she could google it. Because google is apparently the equivalent of a scholar doing research on said topics. It least wikipedia would be a bit more respectable.
[re=249221]donner_froh[/re]: It’s the lab part of the course that students enjoy the most. “I’ve got an experiment I’d like to try today…IN MY PANTS!”
[re=249221]donner_froh[/re]: Today, we are all Mindy Stombler.
One of Mindy Stombler’s presentations:
Padavic, Irene and Mindy Stombler. 2007. “’Show me to the subway, and I’ll go down’: Cunnilingus and Masculinity in Rap, Hip Hop and R & B.” Annual Meeting of the Societyfor the Study of Social Problems. New York, NY.Padavic, Irene and Mindy Stombler. 2007.
[re=249212]Serolf Divad[/re]: They will also be relied upon to mention Karen Finley and yams, even though she is currently a mother in her mid-fifties and (presumably) spends far less time than she used to performing at night clubs rubbing chocolate sauce over her tits.
I love that “drug addiction experts” also shows up on that CNN report as something the lawmakers aren’t interested in funding. What’s next, getting rid of evolution cla–oh, nevermind.
If the South could come up with a turbine or something to harness the power of raw stupidity, we could tell them shieks and ol’ Chavez to go pound sand.
I’m told that a lot of the girls highly rated on NR got their training from Georgia tech…
It sounds a lot like Texas A&M. Except they have massive, meth-fueled, homo sado-masochistic, sex parties in which hundreds of strapping young in jack boots and nazi uniforms ritually spank each other into exhaustion. They call them “pep rallies.”
Hello Georgia Lawmakers,
There is an economic crisis meltdown. Shouldn’t you be deciding how to turn down stimulus money, not stimulus education?
Thank you,
Bruno
I’m told that a lot of the girls highly rated on NR got their training at Georgia Tech…
[re=249221]donner_froh[/re]: I kinda thought cunnilingus and public discourse were mutually exclusive. Pussy got your tongue and all that.
My wife teaches at Georgia State (really). She’s not teaching Oral Sex 101 over there but she does have a chili pepper on ratemyprofessor.com, so she has that going for her.
[re=249222]wheelie[/re]: Hey, if you’re going to emulate your hero, why stop halfway?
[re=249241]NaughtyGirl[/re]: I am wondering if the students get whore diamonds instead of grades?
Can Walnuts say we are no longer Gerogians now? To be honest, I’m growing tired of being a Georgian.
The name of the class is: “In the South, we shall rise again… and again.”
Georgia State; Teaching the lastest and most useful skills our college grads will need in today’s chalenging economic environment.
Professor Stombler, can I do my senior paper on bukkake?
Man, way to be on top of the story, CNN. The Atlanta paper had a story TWO WEEKS AGO about the actual committee hearing, where a bunch of GSU professors testified and completely pwned the mouthbreathers who had complained about the courses. Charlice Byrd, btw, is a complete moron.
http://www.ajc.com/news/content/metro/stories/2009/02/11/legsex0211.html?cxntlid=inform_sr
Prostitution is a fundamental cornerstone of the Hobo economy. Taking it away from us tantimount to doubling the tax on Beans and Ramen right now.
Oh, and I’m currently waiting to hear from Georgia State on my grad school application. If I get in, I may finally score!
[re=249207]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: No, Newt never had the credentials to get hired at Georgia State. It’s an actual research university.
[re=249242]SayItWithWookies[/re]: You just need to really over-articulate. Then it becomes a win-win.
[re=249241]NaughtyGirl[/re]: RTFA, spambot. Wrong school.
I still think Harvard Business School turns out better whores.
[re=249225]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: I believe the term is Saddlebacking, thanks to Dan Savage:
http://www.saddlebacking.com/
[re=249260]Lazy Media[/re]: Sadly, I saw “NR” and though “National Review,” which made me think of K-Lo.
I think I’ve been here too long.
[re=249265]Guppy06[/re]: [re=249260]Lazy Media[/re]: As did I. Although I can’t imagine now why I would want to click on a link that led to “Girls of NRO”
What, no class in pig fucking?
Hey now, none of that educating stuff. That only promotes learning and understanding, which is counterproductive to segregating and demonizing. Damn hooligans, get off my law’n!
For much more advanced prostitution lessons in college, check out “MBA program.”
[re=249253]Lazy Media[/re]: “He argued that in a time of budget cuts universities should not offer classes that do not help students get jobs.”
OMG.
“You too can be a ‘Ho… operators are standing by…”
Don’t these sourthern legislators realize that if they keep making laws prohibiting discussion of or devices designed to enahnce sexual intercourse that they are contributing to their own slow extinction? Oh wait. Of course they don’t understand, that would require a basic knowledge of biology and evolutionary theory. But you know, maybe that’s a good thing. Don’t tell them anything!! C’mon, GA, AL, MS…keep trying to make sex illegal!! Mayhaps we won’t have to force you secede if you die out on your own…
This is why rich bastards crash the economy. They force so many more girls into stripping/favors, and they are the only ones that can afford it. Dropping 10k at Scores is nothing when you have a 30 million golden parachute.
Maybe I’m just a little twisted, but there’s something about that shot of Charlice Byrd going on about oral sex while unironically wearing a pearl necklace that makes me a little hot and bothered.
I once got hit with a whole pizza at a Black Lips concert at Georgia State. Best. School. Ever.
[re=249202]Capitol Hillbilly[/re]: Yes, and they represent some of the stupidest people on the planet.
Georgian (adj.) 1. See entry at IDIOT.
Dumbass (n) 1. A member of the legislative branch of the state of Georgia.
I’m really torn by this one. On the one hand I believe this is a public service to all women (and the men who love them). On the other, I have a daughter who will be heading off to college in a few years. So yeah…death to all educators!
*ahem* We at GHOPAC would like to point out that deeds of this nature come naturally to the vast majority of students, and only a very few, plus all Georgia legislators, are clueless enough to require training. Much like ‘Air Breathing 101′, we don’t feel people should get actual college credit for it. However, as a non-credit elective we are right ‘bang’ behind it.
We in the great state of Tennessee are always grateful for an opportunity to look down on our neighbors to the south.
[re=249195]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Yes, but much like those horrible low-fat girl scout cookies it’s the taste that counts. If male ejaculate tasted like bacon, well, there would a lot of men sucking each other’s cocks.
[re=249226]Yaybuls[/re]: I can hear the commencement speaker: Look at the person to the left of you… Look at the person to the right of you… one of these people will wind up a prostitute after you graduate with your useless degree.
It really says something about Georgia that they need classes to teach you how to be queer.
Then again, if Queers are just a theory like Evolution, then they must not exist! (I can see the sticker in the course book stating “The Georgia legislature has determined that being Queer is just a theory, and that many other theories may explain good old fashion man on man buttsex.”)
Does this also mean that there is Intelligent Queerness? Queerness is so complex that it cannot exist on its own, and demonstrates a God like being who invented Judy Garland?
[re=249399]sanantonerose[/re]: Aw c’mon. My wife eats buckets of nonfat plain yogurt, could my emission be much worse?
[re=249399]sanantonerose[/re]: You mean men aren’t sucking each other’s cocks?
[re=249195]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Little known fact: the nutritional requirement for zinc for men is based in part on losses due to ejaculation. It’s high in zinc!
Canadia’s beady-eyed Prime Minister just decreed that all university research funding was to only go to business-related fields. Prostitution seems to fit these criteria. They say an economic downturn is the perfect time to upgrade your skills, maybe I will re-enrol.
My own personal queer theory has provisions for oral sex but not 2.2 billion shortfalls. Those fall outside of my purview.
Aren’t these the same people who’re always proclaiming the virtues of small businesses? “They create the most new jobs,” “they revitalize the local economy,” blah, blah, blah. Well, isn’t prostitution one of the most lucrative small businesses around?
[re=249458]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Yogurt has other nutritive properties that your semen sadly lacks.
A recent study concluded that Conservatives are the Biggest porn Consumers.
here is the link.
http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/Business/story?id=6977202&page=1
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