• February 12, 2012
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Jesus, You Can’t Expect Joe Biden To Remember Every ‘Website Number’ In The Phonebook

by Jim Newell

6:03 pm February 25, 2009

It appears that Joe Biden’s comical inability to name his administration’s major new website is rooted in a far more fundamental technological illiteracy: he cannot tell the difference between the Internet and a telephone. [YouTube via Daily Intel]

{ 84 comments }

V572625694 February 25, 2009 at 6:07 pm

Nobody fucks with Joe. Didn’t you get the message? He will not be easily caricatured!

Jukesgrrl February 25, 2009 at 6:08 pm

D’ya think Jill prints his E-mail for him?

Gopherit February 25, 2009 at 6:08 pm

Shit, they’re all change.gov anyway, right?

Still, don’t fuck with Biden. I heard he once killed a man just to watch him die.

GooseInANoose February 25, 2009 at 6:09 pm

Can I get a Joe Biden in doll form? This guy is just the cutest.

Kenneth the NBC Governor February 25, 2009 at 6:09 pm

Can “nobody messes with Joe” be the new “nobody fucks with de Jesus.”

Gopherit February 25, 2009 at 6:10 pm

[re=252919]Jukesgrrl[/re]:D’ya think Jill prints his E-mail porn for him? /fixed.

Gopherit February 25, 2009 at 6:12 pm

[re=252923]Kenneth the NBC Governor[/re]: No, he’s the new Chuck Norris.

V572625694 February 25, 2009 at 6:13 pm

[re=252919]Jukesgrrl[/re]: Jill’s a mega-cougar, isn’t she? Between her and Michelle, this is the hottest set of women in the WH since, uh…Jackie and Lady Bird? No, bad example. Tipper and Hillary? — ew.

That’s it then: we’ll never see this kind of paired political hotness again. Change has come!

Dave J. February 25, 2009 at 6:14 pm

The video is no longer available. OMG BLACK HELICOPTERS ONE WORLD GOVERNMENT U.N. TRILATERAL COMMISSION!

SayItWithWookies February 25, 2009 at 6:19 pm

This explains why I always get a busy signal when I try to call up the internets.

Godot February 25, 2009 at 6:19 pm

I don’t see what’s wrong about talking about website numbers. You can reach this website at 216.35.173.236

Tommmcatt February 25, 2009 at 6:22 pm

Yeah, yeah. Someone should tell that anchor that picking on senile old men isn’t funny, it’s just mean. Next she’s gonna ask him his address or his middle name or somesuch. And get Joe a blankie! He’s cute in the suit and all, but old people have to stay cuddled up to avoid the ague.

Nerdalicious February 25, 2009 at 6:26 pm

No one messes with Joe. (except the gaffe police)

Fox n Fiends February 25, 2009 at 6:29 pm

lookit that librell media talking about up-n-runnin like its a fullback from Vandabilt sheeeet

Sharif DelMonte February 25, 2009 at 6:29 pm

Helpful tip for grandparents: teh Internet’s number used to be 867-5309, but when all the new area codes came in, those evil phone companies changed it to 281-330-8004.

BillyClubb February 25, 2009 at 6:36 pm

[re=252927]V572625694[/re]: Change has come! And so have I!

BillyClubb February 25, 2009 at 6:38 pm

[re=252954]Sharif DelMonte[/re]: Hey, that’s a local area code. Now how may people are going to call that number?

Raumfahrer February 25, 2009 at 6:42 pm

[re=252954]Sharif DelMonte[/re]: The internet is from Houston? Egads!

Scarab February 25, 2009 at 6:43 pm

Biden still uses his dial-up 2400 baud modem so there IS a phone number, smartasses.

assistant/atlas February 25, 2009 at 6:48 pm

Geez, Joe Biden, the internet is not a dump truck or telephone. If only we’d elected tech wunderkind John McCain and sexy scientist Sarah Palin, we wouldn’t have any of this internet number nonsense.

Packherd February 25, 2009 at 6:53 pm

Yo, Wonkette! What’s the deal with the blood pressure cold medicine ads? I have a sneaking suspicion that they’re not getting their demographic money’s worth…

WalnutsThePlumber February 25, 2009 at 6:53 pm

you could tell by the way she asks him that she knows she’s got him.

in what respect, maggie?

MisterLoki February 25, 2009 at 6:58 pm

[re=252963]BillyClubb[/re]: It’s a song by Mike Jones, a Houston rapper.

Crankenstank February 25, 2009 at 7:08 pm

You are SO WRONG about Super Joe. He is in fact the secret geek behind all of Owebobama’s on-line success. See, he likes to refer to websites by their IP numbers, not their domain names, which is far more precise. He’s just THAT good.

Nerdalicious February 25, 2009 at 7:10 pm

[re=252973]assistant/atlas[/re]:
Yeah, but could we stand Sexy scientist Sarah’s high pitched whiney voice like nails across a blackboard & Tech God McNasty with no Marine helicopters at the White House for 4 yrs?

donner_froh February 25, 2009 at 7:11 pm

[re=252927]V572625694[/re]: A MILF and a GILF–what are the odds of that?

Trace February 25, 2009 at 7:13 pm

[re=252990]Crankenstank[/re]: Super Joe? I’d heard he’d gone missing… I hope he’s safe.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpeP6yeUPa0

Nerdalicious February 25, 2009 at 7:20 pm

McNasty is at it again. Now he says we are losing the war in Afghanistan. McNasty would you Puleaze stfu & let Hopey be Prez already? Are you trying to be his worst nightmare because you lost your own horrible Prez campaign? You have no one to blame but yourself. Not even Beyond The Palin. Is that how you would have run America in a real hugemongous crisis? We’d all be in Canada right now if you were Prez, you ran a chaotic campaign & let the Joe The Plumber Neanderthal faction take over. So please let the Prez we elected do his job. He is working his you know what off, no matter what all you ne’re do wells say about him.

naveed February 25, 2009 at 7:20 pm

The woman was asking him to reverse DNS lookup, live, on the air? Damn. She should have busted Cheney’s balls this way and shotgun shells to the face, me thinks.

CaliforniaMike February 25, 2009 at 7:30 pm

[re=252920]Gopherit[/re]: That was in Reno.

digibal235 February 25, 2009 at 7:30 pm

Obama gave us W’s lovable buffoonery without the horrific power entrusted in him. Maybe Hanity is right; Obama is Jesus.

CaliforniaMike February 25, 2009 at 7:30 pm

[re=252927]V572625694[/re]: Since the twins.

jasonelias February 25, 2009 at 7:31 pm

Joe knows what the address is. He’s got saved on his TRS-80.

President Beeblebrox February 25, 2009 at 7:31 pm

[re=252976]Packherd[/re]: There are ads on teh Wonkettes?

El Pinche February 25, 2009 at 7:47 pm

IPs, telephone numbers , it’s a series of numbers, same shit.

At least he doesn’t think the net is a series of rubber tubes.

Iggy Plop February 25, 2009 at 7:51 pm

Joe Biden is friggin awesome. He floats always two feet above our mortal world and needs not know of it. Nay, not a thing. Go, Joe, go. Float on.

Servo February 25, 2009 at 7:54 pm

[re=252998]Nerdalicious[/re]:
Somebody should just give McPOW a Metamucil smoothie and some Skee-Ball money so he’ll shut his slurpy mouth.

[re=253014]jasonelias[/re]:
You suck for reminding me of my age.

mocksure February 25, 2009 at 7:58 pm

he’s still better than Palin

Nerdalicious February 25, 2009 at 8:01 pm

[re=253036]Iggy Plop[/re]:
Joe Biden is friggin awesome. He floats always two feet above our mortal world and needs not know of it. Nay, not a thing. Go, Joe, go. Float on.

Re:”Scorpio, Joe, Iggy Plop knows my mind, heart & soul. So, float, float on”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvAmTkJmT5c

Servo, yeah & what’s with McNasty’s hurricane hair last night? Did they mess it up, undoing his straight jacket?

shortsshortsshorts February 25, 2009 at 8:15 pm

IT’S NOT A FUCKING TRUCK, HE KNOWS THAT MUCH.

Servo February 25, 2009 at 8:27 pm

[re=253044]Nerdalicious[/re]:
McCorpse’s transplanted ass-hairs are gonna do what they want, regardless of how much GeeDub’s stylin’ jizz he uses.

Nerdalicious February 25, 2009 at 8:38 pm

[re=253056]Servo[/re]:
McCrazy has mood hair. It was all befrazzled last night, cause he is so DAMN pee’d off that Prez is the Prez not him. His helicopter smear job on Prez at the Press Conference the day before backfired on him, & made him the fool AGAIN, as Prez made a joke out his stupid copter rant & him. When he’s campaigning in the JTP States his hair is all slicked back with NASCAR race car oil. AND, he’s using GeeDub’s stylin’ jizz (which is ineffective).

P.S: You have me beat on the Mcism’s.

schvitzatura February 25, 2009 at 8:40 pm

Malia bookmarked teh entire Interwebtubes for Unka Joe! No needie numbas!

sanantonerose February 25, 2009 at 9:01 pm

Hey, to be fair to Old Joe, the first time *I* ever used the Internet? It involved a phone. Well, the handset part at least.

Come here a minute February 25, 2009 at 9:03 pm

Nobody needs to know the website numbers when you can just dial it up on the Google.

Scandalabra February 25, 2009 at 9:08 pm

Handsome Joe is just nostalgic for a simpler, mellower, kind of tweed-draped time when you didn’t need Twitter, Google or Kindle to get your groove on. Give him a break. I remember those days too.

Giant Robot February 25, 2009 at 9:12 pm

It’s all funny till the president chokes on a pretzel…

grevillea February 25, 2009 at 9:12 pm

[re=252990]Crankenstank[/re]: And he hand-codes all the Obama sites in binary. At night.

windupbird February 25, 2009 at 9:27 pm

[re=253080]Scandalabra[/re]: Tweed with patches on the elbows

keepinitrealyo February 25, 2009 at 9:31 pm

Forget about this “number” nonsense for a second. THE EARLY SHOW? Really? My God, was Good Morning Cleveland too booked up?

rocktonsammy February 25, 2009 at 9:41 pm

He could have copied it off someone else and memorized it, just like the ole days.

DoctorCulturae February 25, 2009 at 9:49 pm

“And here’s Uncle Joe he’s-a-moving kinda slow at the Junction…. Internet Junction.”

kudzu February 25, 2009 at 10:13 pm

So, is Joe Biden the new Dan Qyale?

NJBrian February 25, 2009 at 10:16 pm

He’s smarter than all of us…he was talking about the IP address.

CaliforniaMike February 25, 2009 at 10:26 pm

[re=253098]DoctorCulturae[/re]: Jill’s not THAT hot.

bbmumblings February 25, 2009 at 10:29 pm

that was like watching my pawpaw. so sweet. so confused. i’d open a can of whoop ass on her if she had done that to MY pawpaw…

Magnus Maximus February 25, 2009 at 10:57 pm

jasonelias:

10 print “Biden luvz da TRS-80″
20 goto 10
run

Lascauxcaveman February 25, 2009 at 11:19 pm

[re=253074]sanantonerose[/re]: Hey, to be fair to Old Joe, the first time *I* ever used the Internet? It involved a phone. Well, the handset part at least.

Haha! Me too. For the purpose of programming in Fortran. On a VAX computer at a university four towns over. A peanut farmer was then president, and I wore an onion on my belt, which was the style of the time…

A. A. Alpha February 25, 2009 at 11:20 pm

[re=253127]Magnus Maximus[/re]: OMG, that takes me back!

PLIST

President Beeblebrox February 25, 2009 at 11:36 pm

[re=253127]Magnus Maximus[/re]: Close, although with Joe it sometimes seems more like

10 GOTO 20
20 GOTO 10

>RUN

I loved the TRS-80 Model III. Those weird 2×3 pixels! And the 5.25″ floppy drives that you couldn’t keep closed when rebooting the computer, lest you format the disks inside.

Mr Blifil February 25, 2009 at 11:39 pm

Take it easy on the poor old guy. Can you IMAGINE the amount of tail he’s getting, now that he’s veep? Plus all he signed on for was to smile a lot and say some stupid shit every now and again to take the focus off the boss man. Meanwhile, notice he’s getting the url stuff wrong on a consistent basis, which is all to his credit, I think.

S.Luggo February 25, 2009 at 11:41 pm

[re=252998]Nerdalicious[/re]: No be mocking the McAged. He served in the Union retreat from Bull Run. Knows more about losing a war than you ever would, you peacenik, Marxist lib, Stimulus Bill scum, Molly McQuire, hippie, socialist, New Dealer, quiche-eating, same-sex marriage, vegan, dirt-bag, English major person.

S.Luggo February 25, 2009 at 11:55 pm

From these posts, I now apprehend the toxicity of snark. Denby, forgive us. Also, I’ll have an order of eggs, sunnyside up, and toast.

Valentine Flintheart February 26, 2009 at 12:23 am

http://wonkette.com/406574/jesus-you-cant-expect-joe-biden-to-remember-every-website-number-in-the-phonebook#comment-252954: The Internet is at Jenny’s?

skutre February 26, 2009 at 12:42 am

Hello,,,, iS tHIS rECOVERYdOT oRG?……
Hello…… can you hear me now?

Hey Barry this recovery thing is fucked, all I get is static and beeps.

Monsieur Grumpe February 26, 2009 at 1:01 am

Joe should have replaced Conan. They’re both just about the same funny-wise. Hair-wise? Meh.

Iggy Plop February 26, 2009 at 1:23 am

[re=253044]Nerdalicious[/re]: Surreal and amazing. I was probably thinking of Modest Mouse, but having that clip as a background to Biden’s serene oblivion just completes me. Float on indeed.

2druk2phluq February 26, 2009 at 3:30 am

I was laughing before I ever got to the comments. And then, “IT’S NOT A FUCKING TRUCK…” just slayed me. The comments on this one are a hard act to follow.

“They’re in the computer?”
-Hansel

Serolf Divad February 26, 2009 at 5:56 am

DNS is for pussies. Joe accesses all his websites by IP address.

gurukalehuru February 26, 2009 at 7:11 am

[re=253098]DoctorCulturae[/re]: Hey! I got that – how fucking old am I?

TGY February 26, 2009 at 7:37 am

Admission of embarrassment? Once again, Joe Biden proves himself the anti-Cheney.

However! He’s perceptive enough to realize teh Intarwebs is just a bunch of numbers! Well played, Mr. Vice President, well played indeed. Or should I say, 77 65 6C 6C 70 6C 61 79 65 64.

BobLoblawLawBlog February 26, 2009 at 7:39 am

[re=252927]V572625694[/re]: True that. I couldn’t believe I could ever share the girl-crush I had on Michelle. Till I met her still-community-college-teachin’ hawt-boots-wearin’ inauguration-ball-best-dressin’ counterpart. This is proof, of course, that Obama is actually “The One” and God hates ugly. Just like Mama taught me.

BobLoblawLawBlog February 26, 2009 at 7:45 am

Hang on a sec, Jim…are you messing with Joe? Cause Hopey made it pretty clear that nobody messes with Joe. I foresee a Joan-Crawford-style hanger-whuppin’ in your future, c/o our Unicorn King. *shudder*

V572625694 February 26, 2009 at 8:51 am

[re=253168]BobLoblawLawBlog[/re]: To rip off Mark Twain, God must love the ugly, as he made so many of them. But I get little starbursts of envy for Hopey every time I see Michelle’s 2nd-Amendment biceps.

V572625694 February 26, 2009 at 9:04 am

[re=253179]V572625694[/re]: I meant to say, “God must love the ugly, as he made so many of us.”

HuddledMass February 26, 2009 at 10:18 am

[re=253137]S.Luggo[/re]: “…you peacenik, Marxist lib, Stimulus Bill scum, Molly McQuire, hippie, socialist, New Dealer, quiche-eating, same-sex marriage, vegan, dirt-bag, English major person.”

Uh-oh. S.Luggo is on to me…

Mr Blifil February 26, 2009 at 10:20 am

[re=253166]TGY[/re]: I once dated a girl with those measurements. OK I confess. It was an entire sorority.

Gob February 26, 2009 at 10:47 am

Wonkette, you fool, Biden is so haxxor leet he speaks in DNS.

Nerdalicious February 26, 2009 at 11:18 am

They call him Joe The Unix Splicer back in Scranton.

Nerdalicious February 26, 2009 at 11:25 am

[re=253151]Iggy Plop[/re]:
You interrupt, I was floating above the nowness to the Joe vibration of all knowing jokiness. Float on.

TGY February 26, 2009 at 11:44 am

[re=253234]Mr Blifil[/re]: Yes, ‘breast cup hexadecimal’. Very appropriate to teh Intarwebs.

Nerdalicious February 26, 2009 at 11:50 am

[re=253137]S.Luggo[/re]:
No be mocking the McAged. He served in the Union retreat from Bull Run. Knows more about losing a war than you ever would, you peacenik, Marxist lib, Stimulus Bill scum, Molly McQuire, hippie, socialist, New Dealer, quiche-eating, same-sex marriage, vegan, dirt-bag, English major person.

Re:Ok Sean Penn, we already heard your Acadamy Awards aceeptance speech. You commie lovin’ sons a gun. McCrack is Wack.

Prepare to be entertained. The best/worst awards acceptance speech of all time: and the winner is! Mickey Rourke at the Spirit Awards. Best line at awards ever: “I don’t know what you do honey, but the other 2 are good”. Micks woke up all the elitist botoxed peeps in the audience with that existentialist nihilism of his. Would an English teacher please find Mickey in the nearest biker bar & have him up to speed in proper English for his next down & out dude role nomination.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=og3tN7P6oKI

Gayer Than Thou February 26, 2009 at 12:14 pm

[re=252968]Scarab[/re]: “Biden still uses his dial-up 2400 baud modem so there IS a phone number, smartasses.”

They have 2400 modems now? Dang! I need to upgrade. I have heard that sometimes you can see naked people on the internet.

AngelaB February 26, 2009 at 8:12 pm

His gaffes are amusing.

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