• February 15, 2012
  • After months of relative calm, violence is starting up again in Iraq. The latest bomb in Baghdad killed at least 33 people. [BBC News]
  • Even if Barack Obama wants to lift restrictions on stem cell research, certain states (GEORGIA) are determined to keep them in place. [Atlanta Journal Constitution]
  • President Obama will give yet another speech today, probably to distract voters from all the money he’s spending. This one will be about how he plans to spend a bunch of education money on good teachers. [Wall Street Journal]
  • A standoff between the US ship Impeccable and five Chinese vessels ended with China being very unhappy with the US and the US being all, “WTF we are just surveying your waters for submarines, as usual.” [New York Times]
  • A police officer was murdered in Northern Ireland for the first time since 1998. The republican paramilitary group the Continuity IRA claimed responsibility. [BBC News]
  • Stocks appear to be headed up today, at least until 10am, when the Commerce Department is due to release a report on wholesale trade inventories. Then everything will crash as usual. [AP]

{ 49 comments }

MARCdMan March 10, 2009 at 9:11 am

Your navy article missed the part where this American bottom-surveying ship, full of seamen, used their hoses on Chinese sailors in their underwear. Best part of the story.

Tommy Says Soooo, Jugdish! March 10, 2009 at 9:13 am

Today we are all Georgians. Also.

entropy March 10, 2009 at 9:15 am

…i obviously don’t understand the american federal/state divide.

if the federal government re-institutes funding for a particular facet of scientific research, how can a specific state then block that funding?

(side point: are there many biotechnology laboratories in georgia?)

- entropy.

Dawn Keipuntsh March 10, 2009 at 9:18 am

“The legislation defines a living human embryo as a person”

Then I would request that they all be issued Social Security numbers.

Serolf Divad March 10, 2009 at 9:18 am

Let me just say that I’d hate to be the sad sonofabitch in charge of scrubbing the decks on a ship called the fucking “USS Impeccable.”

ManchuCandidate March 10, 2009 at 9:23 am

US American Georgian legislators have a hard time with skienze in general because they are living proof of the Wanker Theory of Relativity (“Everyone’s a relative.”)

BillyClubb March 10, 2009 at 9:24 am

Our Navy has a ship called the “Impeccable”? Does it have sister ships by the name of “Exquisite”, “Faultless”, “Immaculate”, and/or “Purity”?

Makes the old argument about the Navy being for gays just a little harder to dispute…

WIDTAP March 10, 2009 at 9:25 am

Well we are sort of just surveying the Chinese waters. Sure, we want to know what the ocean bottom looks like, but tracking the Chinese subs based a hundred miles north of these is pretty interesting too.

entropy March 10, 2009 at 9:25 am

so…let me get this straight…there is a group of people who wants to define life as beginning at the moment of fertilisation, so no abortions, no ESC research, maybe no IVF.

here’s the bit i don’t get…

they also seem to like guns.

is it just that they want a wider variety of people to kill later?

WIDTAP March 10, 2009 at 9:27 am

Renewed airport security profiling of Roman Catholic terrorists in 3…2.. oh wait, these terrorists are white aren’t they? Never mind. Carry on.

WIDTAP March 10, 2009 at 9:28 am

[re=261383]entropy[/re]: You obviously haven’t heard their solution to both issues: give guns to fetuses.

Dawn Keipuntsh March 10, 2009 at 9:32 am

If they are to be considered “persons” aren’t they entitled to representation? Shouldn’t Georgia get at least two more House seats?

Canmon (the Inadequate) March 10, 2009 at 9:38 am

Today we are all “Northern Island”ers.

entropy March 10, 2009 at 9:42 am

[re=261385]WIDTAP[/re]: i suppose it’s one way to make the massive attack music video creepier.

hockeymom March 10, 2009 at 9:42 am

[re=261385]WIDTAP[/re]: Womb Weapons?

Boojum March 10, 2009 at 9:48 am

CDC is in Atlanta. Emory University Dept of Human Genetics is in Atlanta.

Trucknutz College Dept of Impregnating Your Sister is in Kennesaw.

Also

entropy March 10, 2009 at 9:51 am

[re=261391]hockeymom[/re]: massive attack, “teardrop”. youtube it, it’s creepy enough without foetal ak-47s

Mr Blifil March 10, 2009 at 9:52 am

So Georgia’s going to have a war against fertility clinics? But this is not to be seen as any kind of distraction?

For the record, my wife and I used in-vitro fertilization. For us it was a dud, costing tens of thousands of dollars, after which we ended up conceiving “naturally” (if you can call a leather swing and double-layer neoprene wetsuit “natural”). At no point along the way do I recall being asked if we wanted to keep or discard whatever embryos they were not able to implant. It works the other way around. You have to tell them you want to keep them. The clinic will be only to happy to oblige, charging the couple seeking to retain the embryos for later use a refrigeration fee. If we are to retain every embro produced for IVF procedures, we’re going to need refrigeration units bigger than the render farm at Pixar.

I will say this for Georgia wingnuts, they never fail to entertain. They’re fun but man are they distracting.

Mr Blifil March 10, 2009 at 9:53 am

[re=261377]Dawn Keipuntsh[/re]: And instruction manuals.

Monsieur Grumpe March 10, 2009 at 9:54 am

[re=261383]entropy[/re]: [re=261385]WIDTAP[/re]:
And! Lifetime NRA memebership for all zygotes until birth; then you must pay.

TGY March 10, 2009 at 9:58 am

iz in ur echonomiks zonez, trackin ur subs

WadISay March 10, 2009 at 9:58 am

Of course, from Georgia’s point of view we up north are the dumbasses because we haven’t lifted the ban on handling venomous serpents.

PerhapsSo March 10, 2009 at 9:59 am

[re=261392]Boojum[/re]: Does this mean that we get to move the CDC? Also, the federal government should stop carrying Coke in its vending machines. That’ll teach ‘em.

Sara K. Smith March 10, 2009 at 10:00 am

[re=261389]Canmon (the Inadequate)[/re]: Ha ha, Daylight Savings Time leaves me SLEEPY.

Servo March 10, 2009 at 10:01 am

I guess the Russians handed off the ‘cat-and-mouse’ games to the Chinese. We (the 7th Fleet) used to always get buzzed by Soviet Tu-95s out of Cahm Rahn Bay, Vietnam. It happened every time we entered the South China Sea. It was expected and never reported, unlike today.
Imagine how the US Navy and news reporters would react to the Chinese surveying outside of Puget Sound. Christ, we’d be at DEFCON 5!
I remember China’s Defense Minister, Hu Changming, expressing his hopes for joint US/Chinese military operations. Not a bad idea. First, we both must train our Naval commanders to stop the pissing contests.

Naked Bunny with a Whip March 10, 2009 at 10:01 am

I was hoping the Iraqis would give up violence for Lent.

Capitol Hillbilly March 10, 2009 at 10:03 am

“We’re too dumb to make it in no northern town, la la la etc…”

TGY March 10, 2009 at 10:03 am

…Impeckerball?

cheeto_jeebus March 10, 2009 at 10:04 am

the goddamn mutherfukkin snake embryos on this submarine are all impeccable and shit!

TGY March 10, 2009 at 10:05 am

[re=261392]Boojum[/re]: And me. In Atlanta: subvertin ur virgins wit mah radicalness.

Boojum March 10, 2009 at 10:09 am

[re=261399]PerhapsSo[/re]: I would rather just move Atlanta. Maybe we could be annexed by Vermont or something.

Terry March 10, 2009 at 10:10 am

[re=261392]Boojum[/re]:

The sound you hear is hundreds of scientists in Georgia sending out their resumes/cv’s. The medical schools there now can open departments specializing in faith healing.

shanemacgowan March 10, 2009 at 10:11 am

If memory serves, the Chinese did the same thing to Jr. in the early days of his presidency. I recall them sending a plane back in pieces.

Boojum March 10, 2009 at 10:22 am

[re=261411]Terry[/re]: Faith healing is already taught in Georgia colleges. Along with Young Earth Geology, Flood Archaeology, and Biblical Anthropology.

Toonces March 10, 2009 at 10:23 am

[re=261402]Servo[/re]: What was also fun was B-52s buzzing Russian “trawlers” off the coast of Maine. Nothing is quite as fun as seeing “fishermen” lose their shit as a BUFF buzzes a “trawler” at 600 feet at about 600 mph.

El Vista March 10, 2009 at 10:24 am

These Georgia politicians are the same folks who oversaw peanut inspections, and we all know how well that has worked.

jagorev March 10, 2009 at 10:26 am

Northern Island? That sounds like it’s near the Hamptons, which makes this shooting really shocking.

phineas_bounderby March 10, 2009 at 10:28 am

Oh, goody, my state of Georgia made Wonkette! It isn’t enough that we have Lyn Westmoreland (who’s like Michele Bachmann without the work ethic), Phil Gingrey (“I’m so very sorry Rush. Can I light your cigar for you? Wash your car? Grovel at your feet?”) and Saxby Chambliss (he defies description. Pond scum shuns him). Now we’re going to absolutely refuse that science stuff.

NotNotLickingToads March 10, 2009 at 10:38 am

As a native Georgian, I used to take solace in the fact that we were surely more progressive than our neighbors in Alabama, South Carolina, Tennessee, etc.

For some months now, I’ve been noticing that I was quite wrong.

Servo March 10, 2009 at 10:45 am

[re=261418]Toonces[/re]:
The P-3 boys have been known to high-beam the trawlers with those submarine searchlights and drop dummy sonobuoys filled with toilet paper and porn, which were retrieved from the water by the appreciative crews.

NoWireHangers March 10, 2009 at 11:02 am

If Georgia doesn’t want stem cell research fine by me, just don’t let Georgia benefit from the fruits of said research. Would “thinning the South” really hurt anyone all that much? Well, except the fine institute of stupidity.

Guppy06 March 10, 2009 at 11:31 am

[re=261384]WIDTAP[/re]: They’re not terrorists, they’re freedom fighters! And they’ll remain under that classification at least until Ted Kennedy finally kicks it.

Lincolns pissed March 10, 2009 at 11:33 am

Renewed violence in Baghdad and an incident with the Chinese Navy !!! I’m shocked..shocked, I tell you!!..especially in light of our new world peace initiatives demonstrated by Barry’s withdrawal timetable, the Gitmo plan, and our new Amb. Hilliarious in China.

Hows that working out for you?

” I’d like to teach the world to sing” Have a coke, a smile and STFU!

Lascauxcaveman March 10, 2009 at 11:39 am

[re=261381]BillyClubb[/re]: Oh, girlfriend. You should see the super deck chairs and tasteful window treatments on the USS Marvelous.

El Vista March 10, 2009 at 12:08 pm

[re=261451]NoWireHangers[/re]: Asshole.

trondant March 10, 2009 at 12:14 pm

Jesus fucking Christ. These assholes are like Liz Lemon’s brother.

– “This is my brother, State Rep. Mitch Lemon (R-Assfuck).”
“What’s wrong with him?”
“He was shot in the face by Cheney during the Inauguration. He thinks it’s still January 20, 2001. Just play along.”

– “Hello, Representative Lemon.”
– “Hi! I’m in power now!
– “Uh, good. So what’s on tap, then?”
– “Oh, lots. We’re gonna kill every rail project we can find before a darkie can take a subsidized ride to our glorious exurbs. Then, we’ll make homo-marrying a big issue. People will need something to care about after we slash business taxes and the economy rebounds from the Clinton recession.”
– “Um…”
– “Then, we’ll get the ten commandments displayed in every courthouse. Also, our governor thinks you should ‘manage your time better’ rather than violate his Sabbath, so no buying a six-pack on the Lord’s Day.”
– “You’re kidding.”
– “Nope. Look, I gotta go. The President is about to give a speech live on Fox News about his humble foreign policy, and then I have a meeting. A few of us will introduce a bill next month to make sweet tea mandatory in all Georgia restaurants. Did you know many restaurants won’t accept a major credit card from a fetus? We should do something about that, too! Y’all come back now, ya hear!”
– “Speaker Pelosi. President Obama.”
– “What did AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
– “Goddamnit, I told you not to do that! Now he’s gone into a seizure!”
– “Good.”

It’s a shame these hillbilly sister-fuckers aren’t noteworthy enough to attract deranged gunmen. At this rate, I’m going to have to wait until there are no more Navin R. Johnsons in the phone book before anything changes around here. Assholes.

Mr Blifil March 10, 2009 at 12:44 pm

[re=261378]Serolf Divad[/re]: Could be worse. You could be assigned to the USS Queef.

wheelie March 10, 2009 at 1:37 pm

The IRA men who murdered 2 soldiers in Northern Ireland also attempted to kill two pizza delivery boys on the same occasion, on the grounds that the delivery boys were “British collaborators”. Like most people, I had thought that these knuckle-dragging crazies were gone forever. I guess not. Not for the first time, “the Cause” is just an excuse for psychopaths to do some killing.

entropy March 11, 2009 at 8:05 am

[re=261696]wheelie[/re]: every ’cause’, throughout history, has been an excuse for people to kill other people.

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