Let’s Laugh At All The Impoverished Billionaires!
by Sara K. Smith
- We can infer from his attorney’s remarks and the absence of a conspiracy admission that Bernie Madoff did the noble thing and refused to squeal on his employees. This is what may land him in jail for 150 years. [Bloomberg]
- Michelle Obama will visit military families in Fort Bragg today and show them her arms. [AP]
- The Iraqi shoe-throwing journalist hero who spawned a thousand goofy online games has been sentenced to three years in prison for assault. [CNN]
- Ha ha, look at the richest people in the world and how disastrously poor they all are now. [Forbes]
- Planes just cannot get off the ground these days, and if they do they cannot stay in the air, because of maintenance issues. [Wall Street Journal]
- The United States is currently locked in a death-match with its global peers over whether it is a good idea or not to try to bail out other ailing economies around the world. [Washington Post]
Kirsten Boyd Johnson (800)
Jim Newell (5429)
Wonkette Jr. (626)
Liz Colville (96)
Blair Burke (171)
Kaia Mursi (44)
Garrett Quinn (13)
Ken Layne (6695)
Matt Langer (40)
Arielle Fleisher (385)
{ 27 comments }
“Planes just cannot get off the ground these days, and if they do they cannot stay in the air”
But gravity is only a theory…
[re=263432]rmontcal[/re]:
I refuse to believe that man and ape are subject to a common law of gravity.
[re=263432]rmontcal[/re]: Which is why W intended (but never got around to, because he was so busy protecting us from terrorists) to convert the FAA to the Faith-based Aviation Administration.
Madoff could claim some sense redemption if he’d agree to serve Muntadher al-Zaidi’s time along with his. Just a thought.
It’s absolutely awful that the eelights fortunes are crumbling away by the shitstorm created by their own greed.
That’s one-and-a-half years per shoe, and very draconian. However, I suppose he’s lucky they didn’t cut off his feet, since he demonstrated no need for shoes.
Still…good thing it wasn’t a pie or something.
will they take his shoelaces away from him?
Haha, billionaires are down to their last 3 billion. Sux2B them. Oh, wait.
“Hah-Ha!” (Nelson Muntz voice)
Madoff had nothing to lose. At age 70, any prison sentence is a life sentence. Club Fed is a figment of the imagination.
In other news, today’s the day that Mr Blifil decides to Go Galt!
“Maurice (Hank) Greenberg saw his $1.9 billion fortune nearly wiped out after the insurance behemoth had to be bailed out by the U.S. government. Today Greenberg is worth less than $100 million.”
The article fails to mention that Greenberg’s needle dick has always been tiny, regardless of the size of his portfolio.
Stupid skienzists can’t even find their beloved graviton, because god didn’t make it, in his eternal wisdom, because gravity does not exist, Newton was wrong, and, per Dame Nooningtonshire, angels’ hands hold each and every airplane aloft, or not, depending upon the number of sinners on board. Duh.
What no mention of tha republican party dude caught by his wife with TWO hookers in the kids playroom? AND the fact that she went after him with a frikkin toy guitar?!!!
Comedy gold and also.
So hold me, Mom, in your long arms.
In your automatic arms. Your electronic arms. In your arms.
So hold me, Mom, in your long arms.
Your petrochemical arms. Your military arms.
In your electronic arms.
Perhaps the FAA should mandate a TBO reduction for aircraft engines beyond a certain age.
There are a lot of laws governing the airline industry, but are not being enforced enough for a variety of reasons. An aging fleet doesn’t help, either. Of course, the airlines, like the peanut processors, are only interested in the increasingly scarce but almighty dollar. Swapping an aircraft engine is surprisingly easy, but every hour that an aircraft isn’t flying is a ton of lost revenue.
Sara, Sara!
Have you no hip-hop soul?
“Michelle Obama will visit military families in Fort Bragg today and show them her guns.”
Fixed.
[re=263450]Mr Blifil[/re]: We should all tell Republicans “Go Galt yourself!”
[re=263446]cal[/re]: Yet another Wonketteer reveals himself to be a Stephanie Miller listener.
[re=263468]Servo[/re]: Aren’t these plane engines regularly de-Goosed? Such a failure of maintenance!
You know you’re fucked when Elie Weisel can’t forgive you. ELIE WEISEL!!!!
A thousand deaths are not enough…
[re=263477]WIDTAP[/re]: I think she was going for the “right to bear arms / bare arms” gag.
Somebody just bought the property where I rent for 2.5 million in CASH. So, I feel that there is still plenty of money out there to be sucked up by criminals who then blackmail the gubmint for more bailout money or they’ll destroy our economy. Also.
Give the fucker (Madoff) a Colombian necktie. Can I do it?
Funny list of other Ponzi schemes out there:
http://tr.im/hiCm
[re=263447]shanemacgowan[/re]: Compared to Cali prisons, FED institutes are utopias. It’s all relative, but I trust Madoff wants no parts of Corcoran or Folsom.
Why is it still called a Ponzi scheme? Ponzi was some loser who pulled off a smaller-scale scam a long time ago. This sort of thing should henceforth be known as a Madoff scheme.
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