• February 14, 2012

Do you know what is happening to your America, America? Communism! Yesterday our friends at the Congressional Oversight Panel for TARP invited a crazy European monster to our country to outline the nuclear option — “The Swedish Model” — for fixing our banks. Boo! Go “fix” yourself!

Dr. Sweden’s actual name is “Bo,” but we prefer Dr. Sweden, so take that.

Bo Lundgren, the steely-eyed head of Sweden’s National Debt office, played a leading role in averting the collapse of the Swedish banking sector when a property bubble burst in the early 1990s.

What an asshole!

Now, US President Barack Obama cites Sweden as a possible model of how best to tackle failing banks. Mr Lundgren, who was fiscal and financial affairs minister at the time of the last crisis, yesterday outlined the Swedish solution to the Congressional Oversight Panel, which supervises the US administration’s troubled asset relief programme.

“I am a market liberal. I was even called the nearest Sweden had every come to having a party one could call libertarian,” said Mr Lundgren, the former head of the Moderate Party with links to the Conservatives.

This did not stop him nationalising two failing major banks in 1992: the already majority state-owned Nordbanken, and the privately owned Gota bank.

“In the case of a crisis, the state needs to be strong,” he said. “If it decides to act, it should become an owner.”

Dr. Sweden has taken at least 10,000 of your jobs while here.

US calls on “Mr. Fix It” [Telegraph]

{ 71 comments }

StephanieInCA March 20, 2009 at 3:39 pm

Does this mean we’ll all be getting government-issued Ikea furniture? Cause I’d be down with that.

NoWireHangers March 20, 2009 at 3:41 pm

Nationalization has potential, and the best part would be to sit back and watch the shit show the wingnuts throw should that happen. The rage rallies will make tea bagging look like a San Francisco tea party. Get me a bucket of popcorn. Then again, doesn’t mere mention of Nationalization (insert ghostly music here) cause Wall Street to shit it’s pants and the Dow to plunge? But at this point does it even matter if it plunges?

Fuck it, I’m sick of all this anyway. When do we got to be rich again?

AngryBlakGuy March 20, 2009 at 3:41 pm

…I can haz Volvo’s?

TGY March 20, 2009 at 3:42 pm

Gota bank? Well, no, actually.

Crab1 March 20, 2009 at 3:42 pm

Cool! When do we get bread lines?

Roger the Shrubber March 20, 2009 at 3:43 pm

This is the kind of consultant they call in when a project is well and truly fucked, and the people who fucked it won’t resign or commit suicide.

Gopherit March 20, 2009 at 3:44 pm

Well, Zeig Heil Mr Bo Lungren! Nationalize my taint! FREEDOM FOR THE MARKETZ! I WANTSZ MIE HOBOLIFE!

Incidentally, you were fabulous in Universal Soldier.

up_yer_snufflegus March 20, 2009 at 3:44 pm

Now that’s communism you can believe in!

rambone March 20, 2009 at 3:44 pm

I can haz bonus paid in Gravalax?

4tehlulz March 20, 2009 at 3:44 pm

I keep hearing about this Swedish Model, and then we end up with some guy named Bo. That’s not change I can believe in.

rambone March 20, 2009 at 3:45 pm

[re=270135]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: dammit!

4tehlulz March 20, 2009 at 3:45 pm

Also, is Bo Todd’s brother, because inquiring minds need to know.

NoWireHangers March 20, 2009 at 3:45 pm

While we were all busy screaming RAGE! at AIG and retards, Sweden snuck into America and turned us all communist.

Gopherit March 20, 2009 at 3:46 pm

[re=270144]4tehlulz[/re]: Yes. Swedish porn is not what you might expect.

jagorev March 20, 2009 at 3:46 pm

[re=270130]StephanieInCA[/re]: I’ve long held a theory that Ikea was part of a communist plot, because why else would you make your customers assemble your products except to prepare them for the workers’ paradise? Now all of my theories have been confirmed. That’s it, I’m going Galt. I can put up with a lot, but not with the dehumanizing brutality of assembling Ikea furniture.

Mr Blifil March 20, 2009 at 3:47 pm

THE DAY MY COUNTRY GOES COMMIE IS THE DAY THE MATCH GETS STRUCK WE ARE OUT THERE

up_yer_snufflegus March 20, 2009 at 3:47 pm

As long as he comes bearing Swedish meatballs, I’m down.

Larry Fine March 20, 2009 at 3:47 pm

In Poland, they tell dumb Swede jokes.

One Yield Regular March 20, 2009 at 3:48 pm

While we’re at it, can we have another Dag Hammarksjold for U.N. Secretary General?

[re=270130]StephanieInCA[/re]: All your basics are belong to us!

NoWireHangers March 20, 2009 at 3:48 pm

[re=270156]up_yer_snufflegus[/re]: Those frozen ones from Ikea are pretty good. Also.

Advocatus_Diaboli March 20, 2009 at 3:49 pm

I personally don’t give a fuck if nationalizing the banks will work, but it is worth trying just to watch Sean Hannity’s head explode.

magic titty March 20, 2009 at 3:49 pm

Can we nationalize Tiger Woods’ wife, for America?

snideinplainsight March 20, 2009 at 3:50 pm

Let me just say that if there were a Moderate Party in the USA of America, I for one would join it right now!

Serolf Divad March 20, 2009 at 3:50 pm

If Bo Derek and Dolf Lundgren had a baby…

…it would nationalize the Swedish banking sector.

WadISay March 20, 2009 at 3:51 pm

For my own part, my own house is always open to Swedish models.

wheelie March 20, 2009 at 3:52 pm

The Moderate Party – that’s a cause you could really get behind.

“What do we want?”
“MODERATE CHANGE!”
“When do we want it?”
“IN DUE COURSE!”

SayItWithWookies March 20, 2009 at 3:53 pm

I got to “Swedish libertarian” and part of my brain just froze. That’s like oily vinegar or wet fire or free-love celibacy.

AngryBlakGuy March 20, 2009 at 3:53 pm

[re=270156]up_yer_snufflegus[/re]: …Fukk that! I want tall blond hair, blue eyed, leggy, swedish women in wooden clogs(ok maybe stilettos)!

Serolf Divad March 20, 2009 at 3:54 pm

[re=270169]WadISay[/re]:

Have I got a website for you!!!!! More Swedish models than you can shake your stick at.

sevenrepeat March 20, 2009 at 3:54 pm

[re=270162]NoWireHangers[/re]: they are. and i know balls. also.

Gallowglass March 20, 2009 at 3:56 pm

This is enough to give Glenn Beck another chin.

freakishlystrong March 20, 2009 at 3:56 pm

Shit, we’re so fucked the Swedish Chef couldn’t get us outta this soup…

bitchincamaro March 20, 2009 at 3:56 pm

[re=270156]up_yer_snufflegus[/re]: I like their little candy fishes, if that counts.

Neon Trotsky March 20, 2009 at 4:00 pm

[re=270150]jagorev[/re]: And the busiest Ikeas in the world are their stores in Moscow, which confirms the Swedish-Soviet/communist link…

Suds McKenzie March 20, 2009 at 4:00 pm

Bo Lundgren “will crush you”.

nice PrOn name as well

inedalo March 20, 2009 at 4:01 pm

the nationalization of swedish banks was only a temporary measure. as soon as the banks started making money, the govt. sold off their shares, producing a profit for the taxpayers.

of course such a rational course of events would never happen in the “land of the grave and the home of the fee.”

but since the banks in sweden seem to be going under again, they may need Mr Lundgren back here again. these losses are now due to over-investing in the once hot Baltic economies that are rapidly drifting down the toilett.

-resident of Stockholm

Iggy Plop March 20, 2009 at 4:01 pm

Didn’t Sylvester Stallone already fight Bo Lundgren? Well he can do it again. USA!!

CivicHoliday March 20, 2009 at 4:02 pm

Does he come bearing hot blonds? ‘Cause I hear Hef is still looking for the 50th anniversary playmate centerfold…

Neon Trotsky March 20, 2009 at 4:02 pm

So instead of this “victory garden” stuff this means our government actually wants us to make supplemental income the traditional Swedish way, by picking lingonberries in the forest and then selling them by the side of the road, right?

up_yer_snufflegus March 20, 2009 at 4:04 pm

NoWireHangers, AngryBlakGuy, bitchincarmo:

Meatballs, beautiful women, and candy fish. God I love Sweden =).

Suds McKenzie March 20, 2009 at 4:05 pm

[re=270193]inedalo[/re]: -resident of Stockholm .. so he Will “Crush Us”?

Neon Trotsky March 20, 2009 at 4:08 pm

[re=270174]SayItWithWookies[/re]: “I got to ‘Swedish libertarian’ and part of my brain just froze.”

They do exist, rare as they might be. Anders Åslund, a guy who is basically in exile from Sweden for advocating privatization via shock therapy there has supported the notion of bank nationalization in the U.S. on the Swedish model. It only makes the various Drudge sirens on this proposal (“EUROPEAN SOCIALISM!”) all the more ridiculous when all of these hardcore neoliberal economists are advocating it…

Min March 20, 2009 at 4:10 pm

For God’s sake, don’t let Bill Clinton find out that there are Swedish models on Capital Hill.

chascates March 20, 2009 at 4:12 pm

Can I be moved to a nice apartment in Oslo to spend my remaining years?

wheelie March 20, 2009 at 4:14 pm

[re=270174]SayItWithWookies[/re]: He’s pulled some notoriously libertarian stunts up in Sweden. Like, this one time, he opted out of the neighborhood car pool and cold drove into town by himself. Then this other time, he was seen buying mouse traps instead of letting the mice live free, unfettered lives.

There’s a rumor that he does not wash out his yoghurt cartons before recycling.

Roger the Shrubber March 20, 2009 at 4:17 pm

[re=270228]chascates[/re]: If you don’t mind living in Norway.

stink, but March 20, 2009 at 4:18 pm

Dammit! I thought inviting Dr. Sweden to speak was just a clever ruse to tie him to a bed and whack him with pillow-cases full of human feces! We can’t let him escape unscathed!

AxmxZ March 20, 2009 at 4:21 pm

While he’s here, he should attend a karaoke night and teach Barry “Sommertider.”

rambone March 20, 2009 at 4:21 pm

[re=270237]Roger the Shrubber[/re]: No one who is the product of the U.S. educational system could have that kind of working knowledge of world geography. Clearly you are a witch! Burn him!

AxmxZ March 20, 2009 at 4:22 pm

[re=270158]Larry Fine[/re]: In Sweden, they tell dumb Finn jokes. And in Finland, they don’t tell jokes – too drunk and inbred.

The Unfairman March 20, 2009 at 4:24 pm

Will Dr. Sweden walk around with his giant blue dong hanging out, like Dr. Manhattan?

Leopolt March 20, 2009 at 4:30 pm

Dr. Sweden sounds like the villain of a ridiculously poor D.C. comic, possible featuring some pitiful second-stringer like the Elongated Man.

chascates March 20, 2009 at 4:35 pm

[re=270237]Roger the Shrubber[/re]: DOH! Actually anywhere thereabouts would be fine. Portugal, Netherlands, Monaco.

up_yer_snufflegus March 20, 2009 at 4:40 pm

Leopolt: Don’t forget “Dr. Shrinker” — http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nAxPNais54Y

Ahhh, Sig & Marty Croft, we so miss you.

Numbat Dundee March 20, 2009 at 5:02 pm

[re=270172]wheelie[/re]: Beware – the Moderate Party has links to the Moderate Terrorists, who plant fish soup on planes. If you don’t meet their demands the soup will go off.
Welcome America to the wonderful world of herrings!

Leopolt March 20, 2009 at 5:15 pm

[re=270271]up_yer_snufflegus[/re]: Sid & Marty Krofft – when acid alone won’t do!

problemwithcaring March 20, 2009 at 5:19 pm

Now that Americans are all Swedish, who will the Canadians have to talk shit about?

imissopus March 20, 2009 at 6:35 pm

[re=270130]StephanieInCA[/re]: All products manufactured in American will now be put together exclusively with allen wrenches and will always be missing one piece.

inedalo March 20, 2009 at 7:54 pm

[re=270210]Suds McKenzie[/re]: why do you ask if Bo will “crush us?”
america is already crushed by the crooks in the govt. and the super-crooks on wall st.
this swede is a very mild-mannered bureaucrat who ran for high office a few yrs back-
wanted to be Prime Minister, but got soundly beaten.
he couldn’t hurt a fly. just another pacifistic softy swede; but he got the banks to straighten out and grow up.

yes, i live in sweden now but during my “wild” youth, i worked at the US Census Bureau in Suitland, MD. lasted one year at that exciting censusy place – that’s about par for the course for my dotted and dotty career steps.

Acmadeninejgaaad March 20, 2009 at 9:15 pm

[re=270381]imissopus[/re]: Dat’s de funnies!!! Onlees a grajut uv de Umeriken K-12 sistem would be stewpid enuf to finds a peace remayning afters compleeting de assemblies uv der Svedish bookcase…

qwerty42 March 20, 2009 at 11:04 pm

[re=270158]Larry Fine[/re]: they do in Minnesota too. or maybe Wisconsin.

qwerty42 March 20, 2009 at 11:13 pm

We need another bubble to invest in (so sayeth The Onion). Maybe Dr Sweden can help us find a new Ivar Kreuger (the Swedish Match King).

heathenish March 20, 2009 at 11:54 pm

I for one welcome our new viking communist overlords and their volvos.

up_yer_snufflegus March 21, 2009 at 1:09 am

[re=270313]Leopolt[/re]: Heh, yeah who needs Acid when they have this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-xlQR3lk-Q&feature=related

fishcanoeski March 21, 2009 at 8:59 am

Hell, why stop at nationalizing our banks, which don’t have any money anyway. Lets nationalize the Canadian banks while we’re at it.

imissopus March 21, 2009 at 3:00 pm

Dammit, all products manufactured in AMERICA, not American. Stupid typos.

centerguide March 21, 2009 at 6:10 pm

Does this mean I have to celebrate Lief Erickson Day?

June Cleaver 2.0 March 21, 2009 at 6:57 pm

They just seem to be some happy people. I particularly like Joan Steffen on “Decorating Cents.” She’s so happy!

Bruno March 21, 2009 at 9:02 pm

“I am a market liberal”

He’s lost 95% of the GOP’s interest now because he used the word liberal, and in the ironically correct way.

Bruno March 21, 2009 at 9:08 pm

[re=270135]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Saab’s likely to be screwed because of GM/American mis-management. It still makes no sense to me why the Big 3 cannot mass produce domestic cars at a decent price when they have the technology from companies like Saab that they’ve acquired.

Well, since they were smaller and got bought up, they must be stoopider and therefore Saab cars suck and Caddies rule. But for some reason no one wants to buy a Caddie. When will these customers just do as they are told?

eyesfriedopen March 23, 2009 at 7:38 am

Fuck you and your rickrolls, Newell. I’m not clicking that ‘swedish model’ link.

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