• February 14, 2012

You cannot make a joke about death without mentioning Weekend at Bernie'sThere’s one thing Missourians love more than competitive eating, and that’s voting for dead people. Remember that one time, in 2000, when they elected that dead governor rather than see that rascal Senator John Ashcroft stay in power? Thank goodness, because otherwise Ashcroft really could have done some damage, to Democracy!

Anyhow, Missourians have again voted for some dead person, a mayor of a little town of less than 800 people, and if they want to be ruled by a corpse then FINE.

It is better than voting for a goat.

Dead mayor re-elected by US town [BBC News]

{ 59 comments }

Tommy Says Soooo, Jugdish! April 9, 2009 at 10:08 am

I really rilly rilly dislike Missourians who call Missouri “Missourah”. There is no “a” at the end, and they don’t call themselves “Missourahans” either.

Wankers.

magic titty April 9, 2009 at 10:10 am

Yes, He Used To Be Able To!

TGY April 9, 2009 at 10:11 am

Better dead than led!

rambone April 9, 2009 at 10:12 am

Zombie-Power!

freakishlystrong April 9, 2009 at 10:18 am

Let the Eeeeeagggllle Soooooaar

rmontcal April 9, 2009 at 10:18 am

[re=284870]magic titty[/re]: Yes He Could’ve?

Cape Clod April 9, 2009 at 10:22 am

[re=284870]magic titty[/re]: Yes He’s In A Can?

Kingbee April 9, 2009 at 10:23 am

You got a complaint? GO TELL IT TO THE DEAD GUY!!
End of complaints.

2druk2phluq April 9, 2009 at 10:25 am

I am shocked that you would belittle a beer drinking goat that has enough class to be elected mayor. Presuming that a goat is unqualified is just like saying gay people can’t win mixed martial arts fights, or short people can’t reach he cookie jar if it’s on the top shelf and there’s no ladder. They can climb, and there are some fierce lesbians out there. I am shocked by you this morning, Ms. Smith. Species-ism is an ugly thing.

prophet1195 April 9, 2009 at 10:26 am

You can speak for “the Left”; I guess your perception isn’t tainted, eh?
I suppose you are an expert on 2/3rds of America who currently support the President and you opinions are sought by NBC, FOX and Radio Free America, but I can only speak for myself.
Palin was a phoney, fake, fraud, charletan, douchebag, abusing exploiter, elitist, liar and a thief.
That’s why she appealed to the negative party of neanderthal nabobs.

Studge April 9, 2009 at 10:34 am

[re=284882]prophet1195[/re]: Got a punchline somewhere in there, Sparky? Lots ‘o words, little to no snark/humor. Your typing haz a sad.

Cape Clod April 9, 2009 at 10:34 am

[re=284882]prophet1195[/re]: What are you talking about?

Mild Midwesterner April 9, 2009 at 10:36 am

Missouri must really like those Twilight books that all the tweens keep talking about.

user-of-owls April 9, 2009 at 10:38 am

[re=284889]Cape Clod[/re]: There was a similar beauty in another previous thread. I think the Chinese hacked the blog Garmin too.

Bruno April 9, 2009 at 10:39 am

But does he have as good a tomb as Burris the TRAILBLAZER, I doubt it.

TimesUp April 9, 2009 at 10:39 am

[re=284882]prophet1195[/re]: Is Palin from Missourah?

rev_matt_y April 9, 2009 at 10:40 am

[re=284868]Tommy Says Soooo, Jugdish![/re]: Yea, so that’d be the ‘outstate’ (e.g. the whole state except for St Louis, Columbia, and Kansas City) and most of them are native Missourians. They are victims of their own education system. Here in the civilized parts of the state we pronounce it properly. But still mispronounce the vast majority of the inherited French names (a hint if you encounter a French looking name in Missouri, especially if you’ve ever taken a French class: if you pronounce it in the way that seems least logical you’ll probably be correct).

user-of-owls April 9, 2009 at 10:41 am

[re=284870]magic titty[/re]: Damn, I knew there would be consequences for missing Spanish class the day we learned how to conjugate ‘poder.’

Advocatus_Diaboli April 9, 2009 at 10:42 am

Just think what would happen if a dead guy ran for office in Chicago, what with all the dead voters. Hijinks would certainly ensue.

AKAM80TheWolf April 9, 2009 at 10:42 am

[re=284889]Cape Clod[/re]:

He’s a prophet, he’s responding to a comment that hasn’t been made yet. Tambien.

AngryBlakGuy April 9, 2009 at 10:46 am

…that town is ran by Umbrella Corp!

gjdodger April 9, 2009 at 10:46 am

I lived there. It’s pronounced “Missour”. Or more precisely, “Miz-zooor,” with kind of a nasal, Pat Buttram-y twang.

Servo April 9, 2009 at 10:47 am

McCain is legally dead. What’s the diff?

shortsshortsshorts April 9, 2009 at 10:49 am

If Ronald Reagan were put on the POTUS ballot, he’d probably win too.

BigDupa April 9, 2009 at 10:49 am

I say we send in Michael Steele as provincial mayor. The “dead” mayor talks to God who passed on the information to Michal Steele.

NoWireHangers April 9, 2009 at 10:51 am

[re=284875]freakishlystrong[/re]: As far as I’m concerned, that joke will NEVER get old. It was one of the top 10 greatest comedy moments of the Bush administration. Asscracker’s lovesong to America.

Come here a minute April 9, 2009 at 10:54 am

Despite international attention, this hilarious electing of a dead guy hardly received notice in the local press, having been subjugated to the last line of the third paragraph of a story about sparsely attended local elections.

“In Winfield, recently deceased mayor Harry Stonebraker was the top vote getter and Steve Williams and Larry Cudney were elected to the board of aldermen.”

Come on Winfield! Where’s your sense of humor about your beloved dead mayor?

loudmouthredhead April 9, 2009 at 10:55 am

[re=284892]user-of-owls[/re]: This brog about poritics?

Change is in the air! Oh, wait, that’s just putrefaction…

AngryBlakGuy April 9, 2009 at 10:56 am

[re=284910]NoWireHangers[/re]: …now that you posted that, you now must list all 10 of the funniest Bush Admin moments!

freakishlystrong April 9, 2009 at 10:58 am

[re=284910]NoWireHangers[/re]: I concur, it’s also hilairous they voted for a DEAD guy rather than that criminally insane eagle soarin’ mutha’…

Terry April 9, 2009 at 11:00 am

I lived in a town in Louisiana that elected pretty much an up and up criminal as mayor. It’s all because election day fell on the start of a popular hunting season (so the men were gone) and a great craft show opened that day, too (so the women were busy). Pretty much, the only folks going to the polls that day were the criminal’s relatives and me and I was outnumbered. I went to the craft show AFTER voting, for goodness sake.

shanemacgowan April 9, 2009 at 11:01 am

ACORN is not just registering dead people, it is electing them.

user-of-owls April 9, 2009 at 11:02 am

[re=284914]loudmouthredhead[/re]: No tickee, no commentee!

Zadig April 9, 2009 at 11:03 am

[re=284912]Come here a minute[/re]: Too soon, I guess?

loudmouthredhead April 9, 2009 at 11:04 am

Wow, all of those voters must have grown up with wardrobes consisting solely of Hot Topic merchandise.

loudmouthredhead April 9, 2009 at 11:04 am

[re=284923]user-of-owls[/re]: You societies not harmonious!

loudmouthredhead April 9, 2009 at 11:06 am

[re=284921]shanemacgowan[/re]: Imagine the hilarious TIME photoshop-ed masterpiece to come out of this story.

sevenrepeat April 9, 2009 at 11:11 am

they could have elected lady gaga but i’m guessing her bubble suit was a tad controversial. sad face.

magic titty April 9, 2009 at 11:12 am

[re=284897]user-of-owls[/re]: Ha. I can’t conjugate shit and I took Spanish from 7th grade to sophomore year in college.

Custerwolf April 9, 2009 at 11:21 am

[re=284882]prophet1195[/re]: Um…I think you stumbled into the wrong room.

ZombieRichardFeynman April 9, 2009 at 11:27 am

Didn’t Wayne Newton have a song where he asked “Why must I live in Missouri?”

Custerwolf April 9, 2009 at 11:35 am

[re=284934]magic titty[/re]: I quit attending Spanish class after my teacher started showing us santeria films – well, plus he wouldn’t let us smoke in class.

user-of-owls April 9, 2009 at 11:39 am

[re=284934]magic titty[/re]: The reason they elected this guy four times was his principled stand against conjugation outside of marriage.

NoWireHangers April 9, 2009 at 11:39 am

[re=284917]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: In no particular order:

-”Let the Eagle Soar”
- Merkel Massage
- Iraqi Journalist Shoe Throw
- W Falls off Segway
- Cheney Hides in the Bushes During Press Conference
- Various “Bushisms” (There are entire books filled with these)
- W Dances (Africa Edition)
- Barney Attacks Reporter
- W Holds Children’s Book Upside Down on 9/11
- W’s “Mission Accomplished” Jumpsuit Crotch

Madeline April 9, 2009 at 11:43 am

[re=284868]Tommy Says Soooo, Jugdish![/re]: Missour-ah I can handle. But what’s up with saying “Arkansaw”? Makes no sense at all.

Custerwolf April 9, 2009 at 11:46 am

[re=284974]user-of-owls[/re]: I figured they were just hankering for another cold one.

DeLand DeLakes April 9, 2009 at 11:49 am

[re=284868]Tommy Says Soooo, Jugdish![/re]: When Claire McCaskill ran for Governor of Missouri back in 2004, she made two different sets of campaign commercials: one that ran in St. Louis and Kansas City, in which Missouri was pronounced “Missour-ee”, and one in the rural areas in which the state’s name was pronounced “Missour-uh.” I guess she thought none of the rural folks would recognize the name of the show-me-your-trucknutz state if she pronounced it any other way.

cranky April 9, 2009 at 11:50 am

i’ll always love them for hating ashcroft that much.

AngryBlakGuy April 9, 2009 at 11:52 am

[re=284975]NoWireHangers[/re]: …I’m disappointed that the following didnt make your list:

-”W” trying to exit through a locked door after a press conference
-Bush “choking” on a pretzel and bumping his head(supposedly)
-Bush dodging a question from the press by saying “I thought you were gonna ask about the pig”

freakishlystrong April 9, 2009 at 12:04 pm

[re=284975]NoWireHangers[/re]: [re=284998]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: “Those WMDs have gotta be around here somewhere!”

NoWireHangers April 9, 2009 at 12:11 pm

[re=284998]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Locked Door and the Helicopter Head Bump should be on there, but with only 10 spots it was a tough call. Top 20 for sure! Any press conference gaffs are covered under Bushisms, hell, there’s no way I’d ever be able to pick out all the moronic things he said over an 8 year period. There aren’t enough hours in the day.

Scottie April 9, 2009 at 12:16 pm

[re=284868]Tommy Says Soooo, Jugdish![/re]: We will change the pronunciation back to “Missoureee” just as soon as you Easterners change the Massachusetts pronuniciation of “Woostah” back to “Wor-chest-ter”.

Lascauxcaveman April 9, 2009 at 12:20 pm

[re=284896]rev_matt_y[/re]: I always wondered why my friends from Missourah called me “last cocks.”

Lascauxcaveman April 9, 2009 at 12:32 pm

[re=284975]NoWireHangers[/re]: YOU FORGOT “CHOKES ON A PRETZIL”. NEVAR FORGET!!!!!111!!!!119111

superfecta April 9, 2009 at 1:02 pm

It’s times like these I’m briefly proud of my native state (although obviously I still avoid it like the plague).

SomeNYGuy April 9, 2009 at 2:14 pm

I thought it was pronounced like “misery”. Also.

assistant/atlas April 9, 2009 at 3:19 pm

[re=284896]rev_matt_y[/re]: In Missourah, the following place names are pronounced such as, also:

Versailles– Ver-Say-Ulls
Nevada– Neh-vay-duh
Monett– Mon-net

That said, many small Missouri towns have awesome names, including Knob Noster, Cole Camp, Licking, Fort Leonard Wood, Winona, Bernie, Weaubleau, Chilhowee, Conception Junction, and Cabool.

[re=285025]Scottie[/re]: Ha!

zenferret April 9, 2009 at 5:26 pm

[re=284896]rev_matt_y[/re]: So I’m from Missouri and all – but I left St Louis when I was two and remember nothing.

Here in Virginia we got city names (if you can call them cities) from all over. Paris, Warsaw, Lebanon, Syria, all within a few hours.

Buena Vista is pronounced nothing like a Spanish word. Byu-na Viss-tah. Silly Appalachians…

polpo April 9, 2009 at 6:20 pm

You forgot Cooter and Knob Lick.

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