• February 11, 2012
FRIDAY AFTERNOON VIDEO GROSS-OUT

Italian PM Fake-Humps Meter Maid, For Laughs

by Sara K. Smith

4:10 pm April 10, 2009

Here is the libidinous fartsack Silvio Berlusconi, who still lives with his mom, assaulting some poor woman who just wanted to write a goddamn parking ticket in peace. Thank you to the inimitable shortsshortsshorts who posted this years-old but still fantastically awful bit of filth on his blog. [YouTube via ShortsandPants]

VERY IMPORTANT UPDATE:

Oh well shit our own former editor Alex Pareene debunked this dumb thing three years ago. Ha ha, fact-checking! We blame Shorts.

{ 136 comments }

comradepaulson April 10, 2009 at 4:13 pm

And then he teabagged an elephant and lit it on fire. The end.

2druk2phluq April 10, 2009 at 4:13 pm

SSS has a blog? Why do I never know these things?

Monsieur Grumpe April 10, 2009 at 4:14 pm

Some pig.

InsidiousTuna April 10, 2009 at 4:17 pm

Sweet Jesus. Wonkette’s sourcing from ShortsAndPants now. This is some sort of masturbatory blogging death.

iwillsavethispatient April 10, 2009 at 4:19 pm

[re=286675]comradepaulson[/re]: It’s illegal in Oregon?

greywindz April 10, 2009 at 4:20 pm

Mafias…period…

Scandinavian Fetus April 10, 2009 at 4:20 pm

She reacted the same way that Angela Merkel did when Shrub, unannounced, massaged her shoulders.

Bush/Berlusconi, two peas in a retarded pod.

SmutBoffin April 10, 2009 at 4:21 pm

Didn’t Pareene post this same clip back before Wonkette went independent? Isn’t it just a clip from a German movie or something?

GleepGlop April 10, 2009 at 4:21 pm

Excellently timed leak from the Obama administration to counter Barry swearing jihad to the King of the Muslims

Dave J. April 10, 2009 at 4:23 pm

Nice bodyguards, btw. Those guys look like they would straight cap a fool for even looking at Silvio weird.

rambone April 10, 2009 at 4:24 pm

[re=286680]InsidiousTuna[/re]: This is what happens when the print media dies. The internets will soon become one giant circle jerk.

Monsieur Grumpe April 10, 2009 at 4:27 pm

This guy should hang with Rush. Think of the laughs they would have.

iwillsavethispatient April 10, 2009 at 4:27 pm

[re=286680]InsidiousTuna[/re]: The mainstream media started it – don’t forget that CNN quoted Kev-o-tron a while back. The mainstream media still going strong, isn’t it?…. oh wait… O NOES!

SAVE WONKETTE!

JeffGoldblum April 10, 2009 at 4:32 pm

SHORTSandPANTS FTW!!!!1! VIVA MEXICO!!!!

queeraselvis v 2.0 April 10, 2009 at 4:32 pm

Great. Now whenever I hear Sylvia Poggioli say Berlusconi’s name, I will always think “that libidinous fartsack.”

Keram2 April 10, 2009 at 4:42 pm

I love his initial placement of his right hand. I didn’t know people actually did that.

Mr Blifil April 10, 2009 at 4:43 pm

Nevertheless I would totally hit that.

shortsshortsshorts April 10, 2009 at 4:44 pm

I had no idea the video was that old. I was really hoping it would ruin him for the THIRD TIME.

Kev-O-Tron April 10, 2009 at 4:47 pm

[re=286698]iwillsavethispatient[/re]: Keep in mind that I was misquoted and taken out of context. I have since visited the reeducation camp and I’m no longer “mad mad mad” I am now “straight straight straight.”

shortsshortsshorts April 10, 2009 at 4:48 pm

Oh and THANK YOU SARA K. SMITH. You have made my day, possibly my year if this recession continues.

Lascauxcaveman April 10, 2009 at 4:48 pm

What an ass.

(Him, not hers.)

Canuckledragger April 10, 2009 at 4:49 pm

This is the SECOND bout of fame for Rita the Meter Maid.

Eurotrash April 10, 2009 at 4:51 pm

This clip is a fake. It was shot over three years ago by a German studio, as part of an anti-Berlusconi movie called “Bye bye Berlusconi”. The scene was later cut out but reappeared on the internet. Europe has been laughing about this for ages.

Besides, Berlusconi’s mother died last year, so he won’t be living with her anymore.

Eurotrash April 10, 2009 at 4:54 pm

This video is a fake. It was shot over three years ago by a German film studio, as part of an anti-Berlusconi-movie called “Bye bye Berlusconi”. The scene was later cut out, but somehow it reappeared on the internet where many people took it for real. I’m not saying that Berlusconi wasn’t capable of doing this, but these are actors, definitely.

Besides, Berlusconi’s mum died last year…

choinski April 10, 2009 at 4:54 pm

I’m glad that, finally, the goofy gropey head of state is an Italian for a change.

Custerwolf April 10, 2009 at 4:55 pm

If I were her I’d have turned and asked him if could please leave the pretend fucking to one of his less old, less ugly, minions.

JeffGoldblum April 10, 2009 at 4:59 pm

[re=286739]Eurotrash[/re]: Shut up, jerk.

rambone April 10, 2009 at 5:01 pm

[re=286747]JeffGoldblum[/re]: Yeah!

hobospacejunkie April 10, 2009 at 5:10 pm

Don’t matter if it’s fake. Sometimes fiction tells truths truer than real life. This man is an ass, proved as recently as the G20 summit. He’s an embarrassemnt to all of Italy. Hell, if there were an American Berlusconi it would be like if one guy owned ABC, CBC & NBC while being president. His corruption knows no bounds. No wonder Italians are so cynical about their country’s future.

Hebrewzzi April 10, 2009 at 5:14 pm

Oh man…this is priceless…love it

Lionel Hutz Esq. April 10, 2009 at 5:22 pm

I used to think this was funny…., then I realized he was just demonstrating how Rove communicated with Bush.

Lascauxcaveman April 10, 2009 at 5:28 pm

[re=286761]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Oh, there you go, being reasonable and spoiling everything again.

(Also, the CBC is owned by Canada City, I’m pretty sure.)

tunamelt April 10, 2009 at 5:28 pm

SHORTSSHORTSSHORTS IS A FABRICATION OF YOUR IMAGINATION.

JeffGoldblum April 10, 2009 at 5:34 pm

SHORTSANDPANTS ONLY POSTS THE TRUTH!!!2! THE TRUTH IS A LIE!! SHADOW GOVERNMENT!!!

shortsshortsshorts April 10, 2009 at 5:37 pm

[re=286680]InsidiousTuna[/re]: Hey now… we know where you live.

tunamelt April 10, 2009 at 5:38 pm

[re=286784]JeffGoldblum[/re]: SHEEPLE!

This is much better.

commiegirl April 10, 2009 at 5:41 pm

[re=286677]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Salutations! Also: That’ll do, also.

InsidiousTuna April 10, 2009 at 5:42 pm

[re=286787]tunamelt[/re]: hyperlink fail.

wheelie April 10, 2009 at 5:42 pm

Nice going, Shorts – not enough to DESTROY your own blog’s reputation; you just KILLED OFF Wonkette too. It’s all ruined, everything is in tatters.

Good bye cruel world. Also.

*bang*

tunamelt April 10, 2009 at 5:43 pm

[re=286786]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: LEAVE iTuna ALONE!!!1!!

<3 you, shorts.

tunamelt April 10, 2009 at 5:46 pm

[re=286792]InsidiousTuna[/re]: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBkR09sP4T4

tunamelt April 10, 2009 at 5:47 pm

[re=286787]tunamelt[/re]: I am a fucking cunt.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBkR09sP4T4

NunnaTheSOBs April 10, 2009 at 5:56 pm

Oh well, at least he didn’t bow to some Arab potentate.

Lionel Hutz Esq. April 10, 2009 at 5:59 pm

Olbermann debunked this well over a year ago, I thought everyone here knew that, and we were just humoring Shorts.

Nerdalicious April 10, 2009 at 6:14 pm

What is it with this guy, Berlusconi? Anyhoo, here is your Holiday weekend frightening Glenn Dick image for you to cherish forever.
http://blingee.com/blingee/view/88192536-THE-FUTURE-S-SO-BLEAK-I-M-CRYING-BLOOD

Delicious April 10, 2009 at 6:15 pm

Wonkette got bamboozled twice by the same vid. haha.

As an old editor once told me, “There are no new stories, only new reporters.”

Lascauxcaveman April 10, 2009 at 6:18 pm

[re=286799]tunamelt[/re]: Hahaha! But R U waxed? Post pix pls.

Bruno April 10, 2009 at 6:19 pm

This is the sad that happens when our prized newspapers die a slow and cruel death. However, just like the rest of America, I’m not bothered by ‘facts’ so Shorts, we still love you. Bless you on this holist of days.

shortsshortsshorts April 10, 2009 at 6:21 pm

THE MOON LANDING VIDEO WAS FAKE TOO BUT PEOPLE SEEMED TO ENJOY THAT. Also.

Alabama Parrot April 10, 2009 at 6:25 pm

And that video of me “fake” humping a sock with Carla Bruni’s picture on it? Never happened.

Kinbote April 10, 2009 at 6:25 pm

Next up, after the break: Shorts douses JeffGoldblum with kerosene and sets him on fire.

shortsshortsshorts April 10, 2009 at 6:36 pm

[re=286826]Kinbote[/re]: Just like Glenn Beck!

tunamelt April 10, 2009 at 6:41 pm

[re=286826]Kinbote[/re]: PICS OR IT DIDN’T HAPPEN.

Naked Bunny with a Whip April 10, 2009 at 6:48 pm

our own former editor Alex Pareene debunked this dumb thing three years ago.

That is why we killed and ate him, then sodomized the corpse. (Don’t ask.)

Advocatus_Diaboli April 10, 2009 at 6:49 pm

[re=286736]Eurotrash[/re]: If we are to take anything remotely important away from this, I believe it should be this:
Besides, Berlusconi’s mother died last year, so he won’t be living with her anymore.

prophet1195 April 10, 2009 at 7:06 pm

George Bush and Berlusconi could hang out with Rush & O’Reilly. Think of the laughs they would have lighting farts on fire at the Crawford Starbucks.

ifthethunderdontgetya" April 10, 2009 at 7:07 pm

Just because it’s fake doesn’t mean it’s not real, people.
~

Monsieur Grumpe April 10, 2009 at 7:10 pm

[re=286799]tunamelt[/re]:
You deserve this…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YPnGPIMUnus

chitrade April 10, 2009 at 7:13 pm

Seriously, haven’t the Italians suffered enough? That Berlusconi guy’s a douche.

loquaciousmusic April 10, 2009 at 7:15 pm

At least my tips are reliable…

Brendan M. April 10, 2009 at 7:21 pm

I pointed out the fakeness of the video on ShortsandPants, like, yesterday. No one cares? Well, if you paid attention, this disastrous, humiliating incident would never have happened…

chascates April 10, 2009 at 7:37 pm

[re=286847]Brendan M.[/re]: I’ll take a fake, humiliating, and disastrous incident over the truth any day.

JeffGoldblum April 10, 2009 at 7:43 pm

[re=286852]chascates[/re]: Christian Amen to that.

InsidiousTuna April 10, 2009 at 7:54 pm

[re=286853]JeffGoldblum[/re]: Also.

hobospacejunkie April 10, 2009 at 7:56 pm

[re=286779]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Yeah, I meant ABC. Damn big ass fingers.

shortsshortsshorts April 10, 2009 at 7:57 pm

“Reuben” posted this video. I have put two calls into “Reuben’s” voice mail. One which says “HEY DUDE YOUR POST MADE IT TO WONKETTE,” and a second stating “YOU FUCKING FUCKHEAD FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU BETTER HAVE KNOWN THAT.”

It’s been a bi-polar day for all of us.

In other news, the site is “open source,” so if anyone wants to post anything, you can e-mail through the site and we’ll give you an “author” thing. REUBEN HAS LOST HIS, however.

That bastard.

hobospacejunkie April 10, 2009 at 8:05 pm

As I said before, this video fiction is as true as anything Berlusconi has actually done. Jesus christ, he once told a German reporter, who was asking hard questions, that he could play a very convincing concentration camp guard in a film. This man is Joe Biden with power and a huge media conglomerate. What I’m trying to say is GET THE FUCK OFF SHORTS’ BACK before he cries or something. We’ve seen him when he’s angry. We haven’t seen him cry. And I’m pretty sure we don’t want to. And this just makes Wonkette all the more lovable and human to me. Though I don’t want Wonkette to cry, either. That would just be weird.

ifthethunderdontgetya" April 10, 2009 at 8:09 pm

[re=286860]hobospacejunkie[/re]: I think Wonkette has cried before. But he/she/it/blog didn’t mean it, the tears were faked.

But possibly real, also.
~

wheelie April 10, 2009 at 8:34 pm

[re=286860]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Mind you, Italian politics has a lot to answer for generally. 38 Prime Ministers since World II ended! The old timey quip: “Go to Paris to watch the leaves fall; go to Rome to watch the Government fall.”

But I guess Berlusconi is in a league of his own. Such a shame they jettisoned Romano Prodi. He was good enough for Europe, but not good enough for Italy.

psilage April 10, 2009 at 8:40 pm

Happy Easter Everybody!
KITH:Dr. Seuss Bible.

Transcription.

bitchincamaro April 10, 2009 at 8:44 pm

Have Silvio and Joe the Biden ever been seen in the same room together? Seriously, this world- class criminal blunderer has got more lives than Felix the Teflon John Gotti. WTF!!!! Those pix of him faking the grieving at the earthquake party funeral yesterday were pitiful.

bitchincamaro April 10, 2009 at 9:03 pm

And fuck you very much, Shortzie. Your rickrolling days are numbered, amigo. May Mark Penn give you a swirly with his ass cheeks. Aaaaargh. And that saying, “video or GTFO”? It’s “GTFO IF video” for you and your cohorts.

You know who loves ya’, baby.

Turd Way April 10, 2009 at 9:52 pm

I wondered why the Italian PM seemed to be riding around in a VW Phaeton. Silly Germans, Italian fascists don’t ride around in big German cars, only German fascists do.

Buzz Feedback April 10, 2009 at 9:58 pm

That’s jackable.

trondant April 10, 2009 at 10:20 pm

APRIL FOOLS!!

shortsshortsshorts April 10, 2009 at 11:13 pm

There. http://www.shortsshortsshorts.com/?p=1796 should clear things up. Fucking Reuben.

Lascauxcaveman April 10, 2009 at 11:15 pm

[re=286726]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: Kev-O, I keep forgetting to ask. Did you get that job at the 4 Seasons?

(ding) BELLBOY! FRONT!

picyou April 10, 2009 at 11:17 pm

This was a very good editing job, better than Hitler “dancing” at Versailles. Hitler humping Goering would have been better. As I understand, Goering would have enjoyed it. Fuck you, Nazi bastards! It’s Passover! Ha-ha!

shortsshortsshorts April 10, 2009 at 11:23 pm

[re=286896]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: That’s just mean. Kevo is a hard working hobo. His family was abducted by ninjas. I BETCHA DIDN’T KNOW THAT, Couric.

Ha no Kevo is a fucking hobo.

Lascauxcaveman April 10, 2009 at 11:53 pm

[re=286898]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Actually, I’m curious, as I was a bellhop myself in my college days. And by quirk of fate, after holding many interesting and rewarding jobs, I now run a tiny little tourist hotel in a little tourist town, which means I mostly clean vomit off of toilet seats and recycle beer bottles. And comment on Wonkette, late Friday nights.

The tips were better when I was a bellhop.

S.Luggo April 11, 2009 at 12:10 am

Barbara Bush learns to love it the Italian way.

S.Luggo April 11, 2009 at 12:19 am

[re=286682]iwillsavethispatient[/re]: In Rome this is “Global Repositioning.” And yet, we mock them.

El Pinche April 11, 2009 at 2:50 am

[re=286857]shortsshortsshorts[/re]:
“Yo Shorts, this is El Pinche. you can kiss my ass (beep)
I ain’t interrested in you anyhow, i’m just interrested in PUMAs
So fuck you my man..”

shortsshortsshorts April 11, 2009 at 3:20 am

[re=286916]El Pinche[/re]: Is Italics the way to go now? I’m down, but it just seems a bit emphasized.

bago April 11, 2009 at 4:58 am

4 Seasons? Ask about Tiberio.

TJBeck April 11, 2009 at 7:40 am

[re=286724]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: shortsshortsshorts is the answer to everything.

JadedDIssonance April 11, 2009 at 10:31 am

[re=286902]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Snap and OhSnap also.

It’s alright shorts, I once made a blog post about how wonderful african debt forgiveness was.

V572625694 April 11, 2009 at 10:50 am

[re=286855]InsidiousTuna[/re]: Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also.

Tired of it yet?

El Pinche April 11, 2009 at 11:00 am

[re=286918]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: ITALICKS LEAN TO THE RIGHT, OBOTS!!!1!!

El Pinche April 11, 2009 at 11:28 am

[re=286918]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: the reference, the infamous phone message intro to the Beastieboys The Maestro.

Now, i have to stimulate the economy at costco.

shortsshortsshorts April 11, 2009 at 12:52 pm

In further defense of ShortsandPants, as Reuben’s fail will plague me until the end of time, we present Dana: http://www.shortsshortsshorts.com/?p=1777.

TheSchmid April 11, 2009 at 1:02 pm

In the epic battle between Berlusconi and Putin (http://dailyputin.tumblr.com/) for Fucked-up European head of state supremacy, I’m not sure who wins. (The Final Four was SB and VP plus Sarkozy and Conanette O’Brien from Finland. The Frenchie and the Finn never stood a chance).

SayItWithWookies April 11, 2009 at 1:32 pm

[re=286955]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Editors? That’s terribly unbloglike. I’d say you were trying to become a mainstream media outlet, but then I remembered that they don’t edit or fact-check their information either.

Oh, and happy Atheist-Christian Unity Day everyone! Yes, this is the day when atheists and Christians can come together and unite on one simple doctrinal fact: Jesus is dead all day today.

Custerwolf April 11, 2009 at 1:54 pm

[re=286960]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Easter is so wonderful because it’s the time of year when our craving for nutritionless-dyed-sugar-lard blobs can be satisfied in fun bunny and chick shapes.

Kev-O-Tron April 11, 2009 at 1:54 pm

[re=286902]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: I dunno. Those fuckers said they would call but THEY NEVER DO!!!1

[re=286960]SayItWithWookies[/re]: What did Jesus get for Easter?…..Tetanus.

user-of-owls April 11, 2009 at 2:03 pm

[re=286960]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Oh, and happy Atheist-Christian Unity Day everyone!

At long last we know definitively what our esteemed, hirsute and super-sized friend does for a living: Director of Guerrilla Marketing, Hallmark Inc.

SayItWithWookies April 11, 2009 at 2:06 pm

[re=286962]Custerwolf[/re]: Then you definitely don’t want to miss out on the Monday after Easter, when Cadbury eggs are practically free.

[re=286963]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: Why do blondes love Jesus? (Makes cross with arms) because they heard he was hung like this.

Custerwolf April 11, 2009 at 2:13 pm

[re=286966]SayItWithWookies[/re]: What did Jesus say when he was up on the cross?

“This is one Hell of a way to spend my Easter vacation.”

Please remember to trip your waitress.

Servo April 11, 2009 at 2:16 pm

I’m

decorating

my

Ether

eggs

Custerwolf April 11, 2009 at 2:20 pm

[re=286968]Servo[/re]: What a basket case.

Lascauxcaveman April 11, 2009 at 2:25 pm

[re=286967]Custerwolf[/re]: OH man. That’s a great one!

If I tell that one at my (very Catholic) mom’s Easter dinner on Sunday, I AM SOOOO CRUCIFIED!

SayItWithWookies April 11, 2009 at 2:37 pm

[re=286965]user-of-owls[/re]: We may be a small demographic, but we’re enthusiastic.

Kev-O-Tron April 11, 2009 at 2:37 pm

[re=286966]SayItWithWookies[/re]: “they heard he was hung like this”

well he certainly carried big wood!

Custerwolf April 11, 2009 at 2:38 pm

[re=286972]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Oh yeah!
My once very Catholic Mom (ex-convent) is always the one telling the crudest jokes at Easter – even at 70. God I love that woman.

user-of-owls April 11, 2009 at 2:41 pm

[re=286973]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Now THAT’S the kind of rapture I could get behind! Like Berlusconi, remember him?

Servo April 11, 2009 at 2:42 pm

[re=286966]SayItWithWookies[/re]: [re=286967]Custerwolf[/re]:
This was on a sign outside a local church:
“1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given”

Puh-fuckin’-leez! Who, besides themselves, are they kiddin’?
I go there to donate for the Red Cross blood drives. I’m seriously considering another site, even if I must go out of my way. HARUMPH!

user-of-owls April 11, 2009 at 2:46 pm

[re=286978]Servo[/re]: Oh just take another hit of your ether and grin wildly with the recognition that despite all the joys/vices they’ve forsaken to be ‘saved’…they’ll end up as worm food just like you and me.

Custerwolf April 11, 2009 at 2:59 pm

Okay these 2 aren’t sacrilegious because they’re actually Mexican carpenter jokes. Not.

What’s the difference between a painting of Jesus and the real Jesus?
You only need one nail to hold up the painting.

Jesus walks into a hotel, hands the clerk some nails and asks, “Can you put me up for the night?”

Servo April 11, 2009 at 3:11 pm

[re=286985]Custerwolf[/re]:
You ever see Monty Python’s ‘Life of Brian’?

Custerwolf April 11, 2009 at 3:20 pm

[re=286988]Servo[/re]: Thanks! I’ll have to rent it again – it’s been awhile.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1loyjm4SOa0

Custerwolf April 11, 2009 at 3:25 pm

So now I’m thinking, I drive on WA’s state route 2 quite a bit (one of the deadliest highways in the country)and judging from the number of memorial crosses planted along the highway, I can only conclude that Christians have got be the shittiest drivers.

SayItWithWookies April 11, 2009 at 3:29 pm

[re=286990]Custerwolf[/re]: Of course. That’s why they’re required to put those fish on their cars.

user-of-owls April 11, 2009 at 3:30 pm

[re=286990]Custerwolf[/re]: Or maybe the woods are rife with itsy-bitsy Jesuses that have an armadillo-like penchant for getting run over.

user-of-owls April 11, 2009 at 3:33 pm

[re=286992]user-of-owls[/re]: You know, like: “Blessed are the meek for they…SPLAT”, “Those who are without sin…SQUISH”, etc.

shortsshortsshorts April 11, 2009 at 3:39 pm

HEATHENS. And hilarious heathens at that.

[re=286985]Custerwolf[/re]: You are going to hell. Just like MEEEEEE!

Custerwolf April 11, 2009 at 3:44 pm

[re=286992]user-of-owls[/re]: You must be from Texas. For the longest time I thought our DOTs asphalt mixture naturally contained opossum entrails.

Atypical April 11, 2009 at 3:47 pm

Just heard “Jesus saves”. Anyone know what bank he uses?

Custerwolf April 11, 2009 at 3:47 pm

[re=286988]Servo[/re]: Servo, you must tell Joel I had the WORST crush on him back in the 90′s. I always envied your position (literally) on that show. Please tell me he isn’t gay.

Servo April 11, 2009 at 3:49 pm

[re=286990]Custerwolf[/re]:
…or the dumbest jaywalkers.

Custerwolf April 11, 2009 at 4:01 pm

[re=286998]Atypical[/re]: Watchovia.

Atypical April 11, 2009 at 4:07 pm

[re=287001]Custerwolf[/re]: Thanks. I’ll be right back. They close early. I think they’re giving plastic Jesii for dashboards. That will give me, let’s see…43. Let me know if you want some for WA rt 2.

Servo April 11, 2009 at 4:13 pm

[re=286999]Custerwolf[/re]:
I don’t think Joel is gay. However, I have a slight suspicion of Mike Nelson’s preferences, not that it fuckin’ matters. Most people felt that the show was over after Joel’s departure. I disagree. Mike Nelson’s writing kept me tears of laughter. I think the show ended when Trace Beauleau (Dr. Forrester and voice of Crow) left.
P.S. I miss Washington, but not the Seattle-Tacoma area.

[re=286998]Atypical[/re]:
“Jesus Saves” is reminiscent of his short career as a Detoit Red Wings goalie.

Custerwolf April 11, 2009 at 4:19 pm

[re=287004]Servo[/re]: Oh shit! I forgot about Trace. I love him even MORE. Yeah I know, I’m a fickle bitch.

chascates April 11, 2009 at 4:24 pm

In this special, off-topic, holiday season remember to irritate those you revile whenever possible:
http://www.mcphee.com/items/11093.html
http://www.cafepress.com/bettybowers/627890
http://www.cafepress.com/landoverbaptist/1372131
http://www.cafepress.com/jesus21/147377

Custerwolf April 11, 2009 at 4:31 pm

[re=286994]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Just so long as I get some alone time before Charlie Manson moves into the neighborhood. I really hate that fucker.

Kev-O-Tron April 11, 2009 at 4:32 pm

My only Easter tradition is to drink a Rusty Nail on the rocks in honor of our savior.

Colander April 11, 2009 at 4:33 pm

[re=286985]Custerwolf[/re]: Wow. I am going to try at least one of these, but I really don’t want to get punched. We’ll see…

Custerwolf April 11, 2009 at 5:47 pm

[re=287011]Colander[/re]: Anyone touches you and I’ll kick their ass.

Oh and I suppose this is as good a place as any to express my continual annoyance with all those dipshits (mostly in film) over the years who have yelled the rallying cry, “Send in the Calvary!!” Unless they expect Jesus and his tortured pals to come dashing acrest a hill – the one called Calvary -I believe what they are referring to is the CAVALRY, you know, where the guys in uniform are riding horses and carrying guns.

InsidiousTuna April 11, 2009 at 5:55 pm

Thanks for all the Jesus jokes, guys. Can’t wait to try some of these out back at my private Baptist university.

wickedlittledoll April 11, 2009 at 6:28 pm

This guy is all class.
http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/

El Pinche April 11, 2009 at 9:21 pm

My daughter (my 6 yr old, not my Vietnamese 18 yr “step daughter”) asked me what Easter really means? I told her about the resurrection and all that , and she replied , “wow, that’s creepy.”
Haha..yes, Jesus was a zombie.

Custerwolf April 11, 2009 at 10:56 pm

[re=287064]El Pinche[/re]: Too cute. We’ll never be so wise as when we were 6.

But now I am six,
I’m as clever as clever.
So I think I’ll be six
now and forever.

A.A. Milne

Custerwolf April 11, 2009 at 10:59 pm

[re=286878]Buzz Feedback[/re]: There are no two words more beautiful in the whole English language. I thank you.

Come here a minute April 12, 2009 at 12:05 am

[re=287069]Custerwolf[/re]: Yes, but those under-sixers can go fuck themselves.

Custerwolf April 12, 2009 at 1:00 am

[re=287075]Come here a minute[/re]: exactly.

DangerousLiberal April 12, 2009 at 2:57 pm

Hoax? Wow, y’all got cold pwned.

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