- The former CIA director and the former attorney general, the Michaels Hayden and Mukasey, do not approve of President Obama releasing those torture memos. [Wall Street Journal]
- Sarah Palin spoke at a pro-life dinner thing last night about how she didn’t get an abortion, even though she kinda wanted to that last time. [ABC News]
- In Thailand, you can tell who’s protesting what by looking at their shirts, and today the leader of the “yellow shirts” was attacked and grievously wounded. [New York Times]
- Two moderate earthquakes in Afghanistan have killed 22 people so far. [CNN]
- The last surviving Somali pirate from the attack on the Maersk Alabama — a wee bairn of perhaps no more than 16 — will be tried in New York for his pirate crimes. [Fox News]
- “Inflatable fitness balls that might be key to toning your abs also could explode and send you crashing to the floor.” [ABC News]
Beware Turgid Purple Balls
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{ 44 comments }
I’d like to know what Alberto Gonzales has to say and will ask him when he hands me my Biggie Fries.
bern? Is the Scotts merkinized now to?
Bern? Is the Scotts now Merkinized to?
It’s ‘bairn’, not ‘bern’! Do you hate the Scots or somethings?
Damn twice posting Hangover
Or in Swedish, “barn”.
Anyway, how about those exploding balls . . .
I’m happy to see that with the end of teabagging, Wonkette has expanded its search for testicle related humor. Kudos!
Do these purple balls have anything to do with the orgy of teabagging?
Hmmmm… Somolia or NYC? I think the pirate came out on top in this situation.
[re=292776]crawdadslim[/re]: Hey pedant, since when did ‘Scot’ become ‘Scott’?
There is no tolerance here for misteaks.
[re=292783]wheelie[/re]: Oh ha ha you goddamn people. That egregious misspelling, in the post, has been FIX’D.
“Michaels Hayden and Mukasey, do not approve of President Obama releasing those torture memos”
No shit. Means that Barry just spoiled any European vacation plans they had.
Welcome to New Yawk, Somali Jim Hawkins. If you can get convicted there, you can get convicted anywhere…
As to the exploding fitness balls, I’m not surprised. I’ve been to the gym and seen some of the folks using the Bosu stuff and these are folks heavy enough to turn solid concrete balls to dust.
Mukasey and (presumably) Gonzales and Ashcroft don’t want everyone to know their approval of torture is based on bad research, facts provided by the CIA and general stupidity? Okay, Gonzales probably can’t tell, but the other two don’t.
And hey — earthquakes are a safer form of government than Hamid Karzai. Who knew.
A 16 year old pirate? Mark Foley is swooning.
[re=292784]Sara K. Smith[/re]: Well, kudos for working “wee bairn” and “turgid purple balls” in to one post…
The “yellow shirts” are basically anti-democratic reactionaries who supported the last coup, the exile of the former elected prime minister and a ban on the country’s most popular political party. For some reason the Times etc. report on them like they’re just another friendly reformist movement.
Oh wait: teabags!
So, someone’s big ass pops an exercise ball and knocks the whale song outta ‘em. Big deal. I’d rather hear about somebody getting’ zapped in the mouth or nads by one of those giant exercise bungee cords. Ouch!
Nice save Sarah! You would have flushed little Trig, except you realized that would make you a lying hypocrite. Congrats!
Funny that the Bushies don’t want to proudly admit what they did in defense of freedom and all.
Yes, I confirm – my fat russian uncle crushed the life out of one of those exercise balls (my mother-in-law’s) and it made a huge dying “Pop!” noise as it expired.
So the moral here is, don’t let your fat russian uncle sit on anything you actually like. (Now, if only I could get him to sit on my mother-in-law…hmmm…)
[re=292793]AllHat[/re]: clarification: I was mock-addressing Sarah Palin there, not our esteemed editrix.
Hayden and Mukasey get busted by teacher while passing love notes in the back of the classroom and get all righteous n’ shit, and demand teacher return the evidence? That’s always worked for me.
Exploding balls. Also.
Will Cheney be at the Somali boy’s interrogation with a taser gun, smirking?
One look at Cheney smirking in his briefs would make ME talk!
[re=292797]Terry[/re]: Yeah, what Terry said. If these people are so goddamn proud of serving the great (greatest?) president, why are they suddenly twitchy about releasing the products of the great intellectual minds in their DOJ? Wish Obama or Gibbs would have the purple balls to say that instead of ignoring treaties and ‘looking forward’ like appeasing little girls.
I got a big tarp, cinched it up with two of those big exercise balls in it, and hung it from a tree it my front yard. It’s a teabaggy way to protest TARP!
are pirates supposed to be hanged on the docks of London or is that what is done to mutineers? arrrrr, what say ye, capt’n Flint? and where’s Billy Bones when you need him?
A particularly annoying and rude coworker sits on one of those stupid balls at her desk. Now I have something to look forward to.
But I cant believe the Bush Administration approved the use of bugs for torture. Well, I guess I do believe it.
http://www.governmentalityblog.com/my_weblog/2009/04/bush-approved-use-of-insects-as-torture.html
[re=292793]AllHat[/re]: Yeah. I totally don’t get that. If abortion is murder, how could she even contemplate it? It’s like, Oh I was ticked off at my 5-year old last week and I seriously contemplated killing him, but I didn’t because that would be wrong???
How cool will it be when the young pirate gets to New York and is diagnosed with a serious vitamin C deficiency? Avast, ye scurvy dog!
If I bust my ball, why then I’ll at least have flat abs.
[re=292848]Mustang[/re]: Yeah, that’s why I’m glad I’m not a parent:
[Hypothetical Significant Other]: “Hi, I’m home. What’s for dinner?”
[Me]: “Choice.”
[HSN]: “What does that mean? And where’s Billy?”
[Me]: “…”
[re=292783]wheelie[/re]: Well, it was a tossup this morning between Too T’s in Scotts or too o’s in to…
More proof that exercise can kill.
In Thailand, you can tell who’s protesting what by looking at their shirts, and today the leader of the “yellow shirts” was attacked and grievously wounded.
In other news, the guy in the red shirt didn’t make it back from the planet.
[re=292787]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: I want to know if he has an older sister. Yo Ho Ho!
Sounds like the situation in Thailand is degrading into Sharks vs. Jets scenario.
Only with less fabulous dancing and better food.
Fuck you, Mukasey, and fuck you with a red-hot poker Hayden, you Dr-Strangelove-looking motherfucker.
[re=292842]Mustang[/re]: Exercise is like masturbation: necessary for healthy life but inappropriate in public.
Are Republicans just terminally stupid? Palin talks about walking the walk and talking the talk. I’m pretty sure the question either, but whether someone walks the talk, right?
[re=292793]AllHat[/re]: I think you mean: “Nice save Sarah!
YouBristol would have flushed little Trig, except you realized that would make you a lying hypocrite. Congrats![re=292936]V572625694[/re]: Hmmmm. Now that you mention it….maybe she’s masturbating. That might explain why someone would voluntarily sit on a ball instead of a chair.
Best line from Sara Palin’s speech:
Now my daughter’s kid, that’s a different thing. Fuck God, how I wish I could have gotten that bitch to hoover out her hooha! Shit, do you know ever since I let her start balling in my house, she has been nothing but trouble, and to get all preggers on me during the campaign. Fuck. Still, every life is sacred, and while I cannot look at my grandson without thinking that he has kept me from bringing Gods perfect kingdom to the United States, I still accept that my daughter made the right choice in keeping the little freak, just like she did with Trig.., I mean I did, I did.
whoa…wait a minute here, she ( whose name must not be spoken) considered aborting her fetus just because no one would ever know about it!?!! my mind reels, what about her omnipotent sky fairy? was he too busy punishing witches to notice. now i’ll admit that i’ve often considered murdering my wife (you try living with someone who continues to say pitcher rather than picture for thirty fucking long hard years even though she knows it drives you so whacky that you turn purple,flail your arms, kick the cat and shit you pants before collapsing to the floor) but i know it’s just fantasy. ya see i kinda love my wife and i’d miss her.
[re=293226]engulfedinflames[/re]: AHHHHHHAHAHAHA now that’s funny! BTW, do the “fitness” balls include the one’s with the dildo attached?
test ♫
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