• February 14, 2012
99 PROBLEMS

OMG Just One Day Until Obama’s 100th Day!

by Ken Layne

11:36 am April 28, 2009

You're one microscopic cog in his catastrophic plan. Designed and directed by his red right hand.Do things feel just a little more exciting today? That’s hardly surprising, because the Barack Obama Administration is now 99 days old, which is exactly one (1) day shy of the super-important 100th birthday of the First Hundred Days. How is our young, useless, radical foreign-born Chicago street thug from Indonesia dealing with the stress? Sources say he started off the day by strangling the military imbecile who approved yesterday’s thrilling 9/11 air parade in Manhattan, then he signed an executive order making it legal to kick the shit out of Mitch McConnell, and then he went downstairs to shoot some hoops for a while — using that idiot water mongrel as the “basketball.” [USA Today]

{ 52 comments }

facehead April 28, 2009 at 11:45 am

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9whehyybLqU

Serolf Divad April 28, 2009 at 11:45 am

Oh yes… Mitch McConnell… the only man on Earth to be born with a “Kick Me” sign attached to his back. It’s amazing he’s a Republican, actually.

Scarab April 28, 2009 at 11:47 am

Has it really been 100 days? It seems like just yesterday that I was giving the finger to the television as Bush’s helicopter left the White House for the last time.

Naked Bunny with a Whip April 28, 2009 at 11:49 am

He doesn’t look a day over 50 days.

JMP April 28, 2009 at 11:54 am

Happy arbitrary, meaningless ‘milestone’, Mr. President!

thatonegirlsays April 28, 2009 at 11:56 am

Dearest Ken, you really need to be more careful about the links you post up so early in the morning. It is only 9am here in the People’s Republic of Westcoastistan and the comments on the USA Today blog are making my eyes bleed.

SayItWithWookies April 28, 2009 at 11:57 am

100 days and he still hasn’t answered my proposal about forming a Department of Atheist Threesomes. This is not the change I signed up for.

Snerdley April 28, 2009 at 11:57 am

“OBammamama as the luckiest teleprompter reader in the WORLD…McCain ran THE WORST CAMPAIGN in AMERICAN HISTORY”–an aol chatter

The Cold Sea April 28, 2009 at 11:58 am

Be careful out there? What is this USA Today reporter fellow, a shift sergeant?

Rev. Peter Lemonjello April 28, 2009 at 11:59 am

Impossible. I have yet to start my work for the Outer Party. I have, however, pre-ordered my case of Victory Gin.

Monsieur Grumpe April 28, 2009 at 12:01 pm

After the 100 day mark FOX news can start seriously complaining. Can’t wait.

Advocatus_Diaboli April 28, 2009 at 12:03 pm

Obama has less than 24 hours to get me my unicorn or his entire presidency is a fail.

hobospacejunkie April 28, 2009 at 12:04 pm

This calls for a celebratory fly-by with fighter escort over the Pentagon, White House & some place in the middle of nowhere Pennsylvania! Congratulations Hopey!

ManchuCandidate April 28, 2009 at 12:06 pm

If we look at in Bo Bama dog days, it’s 700.

magic titty April 28, 2009 at 12:06 pm

Hey I did stuff for the last 100 days too. Where’s my fucking press conference??

WadISay April 28, 2009 at 12:06 pm

[re=301557]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Yes. After 100 days, the honeymoon is officially over. Barry and Eric Cantor can start with the passive-aggressive behavior, punctuated by occasional bouts of crockery-throwing.

Mahousu April 28, 2009 at 12:07 pm

Arlen Specter switches over to the dark side! There’s your 100th day present!

hobospacejunkie April 28, 2009 at 12:07 pm

OT winger rumors say Arlen Specter will announce he’s switching parties at a noon press conference.

Dave J. April 28, 2009 at 12:08 pm

Threadjack: Arlen Specter switching parties, OMG.

Mahousu April 28, 2009 at 12:09 pm

Here’s a link: http://voices.washingtonpost.com/thefix/senate/specter-to-switch-parties.html

hobospacejunkie April 28, 2009 at 12:10 pm

Specter changing parties is on the front page of the New York Times. So not much of a winger rumor, then. More like a terrible, terrible fact.

freakishlystrong April 28, 2009 at 12:10 pm

Barry looks hawt in that pic, like he’s saying “Call me”..

Johnny Zhivago April 28, 2009 at 12:10 pm

Is that the “call me sign” he’s giving someone or the Double Secret Masonic Demon Horns Salute?

Country Club Jihadi April 28, 2009 at 12:11 pm

If I have that Toto song in my head all day, I am going to be pissed.

Johnny Zhivago April 28, 2009 at 12:12 pm

What’s sad is that we could be well into the Palin Presidency by now, which would have been far more hillarious.

WagTehGod April 28, 2009 at 12:12 pm

Specter changing … “Happy birthday Mr. President …”

Schadenfried April 28, 2009 at 12:12 pm

[re=301574]freakishlystrong[/re]: I prefer the beer-drankin’ pic.

freakishlystrong April 28, 2009 at 12:13 pm

[re=301566]Mahousu[/re]: [re=301572]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Does Arlen realize he’s going to actually have to VOTE like a fucking Dem? I see another Blue Dog idiot.

Snerdley April 28, 2009 at 12:14 pm

[re=301574]freakishlystrong[/re]: That’s the ‘hang loose’ sign that commie muslim african indonesians give in their acorn cults.

SayItWithWookies April 28, 2009 at 12:16 pm

[re=301571]Mahousu[/re]: The real winner: Norm Coleman’s lawyers.

Lazy Media April 28, 2009 at 12:17 pm

Yes, Mr. President. “Spur ‘em, Cocks,” indeed.

El Pinche April 28, 2009 at 12:18 pm

– Pennsylvania Sen. Arlen Specter will switch from the Republican to the Democratic Party, multiple sources tell CNN.

oh man, its the end for the wingers.

hobospacejunkie April 28, 2009 at 12:21 pm

[re=301581]freakishlystrong[/re]: Ha! He’s only changing parties to avoid a primary challenge from the far right. How he votes is secondary in his calculations. But I’ll bet they’ll dangle some sweet committee positions in his face in exchange for particular votes. If that kind of thing is done.

DustBowlBlues April 28, 2009 at 12:21 pm

[re=301566]Mahousu[/re]: I was just about to say that. This thread has been totally hijacked, hasn’t it?

Specter’s changing parties, but he’s promising to remain a fucktard, so there’s that. For instance, he will continue to oppose the Free Choice Act that he voted for in the last session.

Fuck the unions and get elected as a Democrat in Pennsylvania? Good luck on that, Senator.

Lazy Media April 28, 2009 at 12:23 pm

On a completely different topic, where are the anti-death-penalty hippies now that THIS guy is getting his?

Zadig April 28, 2009 at 12:23 pm

THE 99TH DAY OF BHO’S FIRST 100 DAYS IS ALSO SADDAM HUSSAYN’S BURFDAY!!! COINCIDENCE!?!?!!??

Hot damn, that was mentally exhausting.

Custerwolf April 28, 2009 at 12:23 pm

[re=301582]Snerdley[/re]: Actually, he was flashing me his wedding ring. The crushing disappointment was almost more than I could bear.

Lazy Media April 28, 2009 at 12:27 pm

[re=301588]DustBowlBlues[/re]: Why don’t they just fix that bill? Make it so that if you get enough union cards, you can call an election whether the company wants it or not, then have a secret ballot? That would totally undercut the wingers’ objections to it, AND fix the problem where companies stall union votes until they’ve ID’d and fired the organizers.

Cicada April 28, 2009 at 12:27 pm

[re=301581]freakishlystrong[/re]: It’s more of a statement on the exclusivity of the Republican party. They’re driving out the moderates. I wouldn’t expect Specter to suddenly flip on the issues.

That said, Specter might have a better chance at re-election as a Dem, especially since the GOP has been hinting at low-balling him unless he gets in line. Golly, the Republican party is a sorry mess!

Custerwolf April 28, 2009 at 12:27 pm

[re=301584]Lazy Media[/re]: As a chicken fucker I find that to be completely offensive. Really.

Lascauxcaveman April 28, 2009 at 12:28 pm

[re=301581]freakishlystrong[/re]: I, for one, welcome the man from Spectre. If he’s making the change, it means he’s ready to vote a bit more Democratishly than he has in the past. Remember, even that fetid turd Lieberman votes the right way a lot of the time. It’ll be interesting if Specter’s “I’m bigger than the party” schtick holds up as well as Lieberman’s has (so far).

Lazy Media April 28, 2009 at 12:31 pm

[re=301601]Custerwolf[/re]: And here all this time I thought you were just a pleasant mother pheasant plucker.

sati demise April 28, 2009 at 12:37 pm

FOX is fuming that Barry may interfere with teh American Idol tonight.

Custerwolf April 28, 2009 at 12:43 pm

[re=301614]Lazy Media[/re]: Well, okay, you got me.

AllHat April 28, 2009 at 12:52 pm

FOX is declining to air the press conference tonight. Apparently “lie to me” is more fair and balanced.

Scandinavian Fetus April 28, 2009 at 1:04 pm

100 days? In base 4 or 6?

Mr Blifil April 28, 2009 at 1:29 pm

That’s what, about 10 days per inch? Reagan hit that point in a month.

Raumfahrer April 28, 2009 at 1:35 pm

Alt-Text = Epic win.

Min April 28, 2009 at 1:39 pm

My, how the times flies when you’re having fun.

Zadig April 28, 2009 at 1:49 pm

[re=301566]Mahousu[/re]: Fuck, we have to take responsibility for Specter, now? That’s kinda like a puppy for christmas: it’s not a gift, it’s an obligation. And it keeps peeing on the rug. And unlike a puppy, Specter is the exact opposite of adorable.

greywindz April 28, 2009 at 2:17 pm

But no word about Maya civilisation? It’s evidently all the fault of Mexico…first the Earthquake, then the drug problem thing…and now the rage virus…poor mexicans…so far from god, so close to G. W. Bush…seems like apocalypse…”28 months later”, anyone? And lastly, where’s Clinbt Eastwood, who’s to be the good cowboy and blow off the bridge now? And yea, all Chechen Itza plans postponed…

jasper-f-krone April 28, 2009 at 3:20 pm

Ken: the Dusty Black Coat is not bad. either.

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