• February 14, 2012

Silver threads and golden needles cannot mend this heart of mine.
Oh noes for California attorney general Jerry Brown — yes the same one who was governor of California, in the 1970s, and fought (Bill) Clinton all the way to the convention for the ’92 nomination. Somebody stole two of the wheels off his government car! Or maybe just the tires. Anyway, tragedy. Or not! He somehow got new tires for his government car. He is running for governor again, too. You can support his candidacy, somehow, by clicking something on his Facebook page. [Facebook]

{ 43 comments }

Cape Clod May 1, 2009 at 12:03 pm

I love it. ’54 people like this.’

SayItWithWookies May 1, 2009 at 12:04 pm

It’s a relief to know that California’s last moped rider is still going strong.

Canmon (the Inadequate) May 1, 2009 at 12:05 pm

I’m thinking bicycle.

x111e7thst May 1, 2009 at 12:06 pm

I am Governor Jerry Brown
My aura smiles
And never frowns
Soon I will be president…

Carter Power will soon go away
I will be Fuhrer one day
I will command all of you
Your kids will meditate in school
Your kids will meditate in school!

NoWireHangers May 1, 2009 at 12:06 pm

How the fuck do you steal tires? You jack up the car and then steal the tires? Seems like so much work. Fumbling with lug nuts and whatnot. I’d rather fumble with truck nuts, personally.

Custerwolf May 1, 2009 at 12:07 pm

His old flame Linda Rondstadt looks to have a couple of spares he could borrow.

gjdodger May 1, 2009 at 12:10 pm

Tires? Where Jerry Brown is going, we don’t need roads.

Mista Eko May 1, 2009 at 12:12 pm

Today, even though I am california’s “top cop”, 2 of my tires were stolen. F my life.

Min May 1, 2009 at 12:14 pm

Because we’re hoodlums, and that’s how we roll.

JadedDIssonance May 1, 2009 at 12:20 pm

NO NO. I do NOT WANT to hear about this. I don’t care! DO NOT CARE. Social networking is something for the interns to do while you make actual work. Stop screwing up the world! Aaaaaagh.

Crab1 May 1, 2009 at 12:20 pm

If you drive a Camry, you are not “rolling again”. Even Michael Steele knows you aren’t rollin’ in a Camry.

4tehlulz May 1, 2009 at 12:22 pm

Why just two? Were they stolen for a motorcycle?

binarian May 1, 2009 at 12:22 pm

He’s even still alive? And Cali AG? I figured Ahnold would have terminated him.

Paterlanger May 1, 2009 at 12:26 pm

Remember back when Jerry starred in that movie about what it would be like if Warren Beatty were Governor of California and a hip-hop star at the same time? That was epic. So now Mr. Brown wants to get into politics for real, huh? Good for him.

Texan Bulldoggette May 1, 2009 at 12:28 pm

Why does his Facebook pic look like a Salvador Dali painting? You’d think he’d have a couple official head shots laying around he could use.

proudgrampa May 1, 2009 at 12:29 pm

Ol’ Governor Moonbeam is yet another one of those politicians who WILL NOT GO AWAY!!! Jebus.

One Yield Regular May 1, 2009 at 12:29 pm

[re=305966]Canmon (the Inadequate)[/re]: But didn’t Governor Moonbeam drive a Plymouth Satellite, faster than the speed of light?

J05H May 1, 2009 at 12:29 pm

[re=305973]x111e7thst[/re]:

Beware the suede denim secret police.

shortsshortsshorts May 1, 2009 at 12:33 pm

Wait, I have to vote for Jerry Brown? Is this a Wonkette endorsement? Pope Cat?

I wanted to vote for Newsom, though, because he will turn Sacramento into an everlasting orgy. But whatever.

BROWN 2010!1! AGAIN!

Ken Layne May 1, 2009 at 12:41 pm

Jerry Brown is awesome. You people are showing your ignorance again.

That painting is the state’s official portrait, by Don Bachardy. It is the most beloved portrait in the State Capitol, for obvious reasons of being a great modern portrait. Bachardy’s got a bunch of stuff in the National Portrait Gallery.

Advocatus_Diaboli May 1, 2009 at 12:41 pm

[re=305973]x111e7thst[/re]: That’s exactly what I started singing in my head when I saw the title of the post.

Mellow out or you will pay!

KAR May 1, 2009 at 12:43 pm

Are people already stockpiling black-market spare Chrysler parts?!? Better lock up my old Cirrus- though I suppose it’s worth more in parts than in one piece.

V572625694 May 1, 2009 at 12:47 pm

[re=306020]proudgrampa[/re]:Jerry’s one of the good ones. I don’t think anybody runs for mayor of Oakland because he thinks it’ll be an easy job.

[re=305979]Custerwolf[/re]: Good one!

Texan Bulldoggette May 1, 2009 at 12:48 pm

[re=306045]Ken Layne[/re]: Sorry, Ken, I don’t have the proper appreciation for art. It’s just that he looks like he has a horrid case of rosacea & just saw his mom screwing Newt Gingrich.

Fear of a Black Reagan May 1, 2009 at 12:51 pm

I love that dude! He was my favorite president guy when I was in the 8th grade. All had a 1-800 number ‘n shit – that was like equivalent to the internet before they had all these Bluetooth and iPods and whatnot.

Also he fucked like every hot chick (openly) in the whole state when he was governor, so that’s pretty awesome.

gurukalehuru May 1, 2009 at 12:54 pm

Now, hold on there just a second. It’s 2009. Jerry was governor of California in the 70s. I’m too lazy to do the math or look it up on Wikipedia, but my guess is he has passed the point where old politicos are, or should be, taken seriously.

Hooray For Anything May 1, 2009 at 12:55 pm

[re=306053]V572625694[/re]: You run for Mayor of Oakland if you’re trying to resurrect your political career and it’s the best opportunity to kick start it again. That being said, he didn’t do that bad of a job, especially compared to the Mayor now. He did not go into rehab, sleep with his best friend’s wife, nor have his first wife be a lingerie model and his second wife appear in a threesome in some crappy indie flick.

norbizness May 1, 2009 at 12:59 pm

Doonesbury skewered the fuck out of him in the 1980 primary: “Governor, if we turned off these news cameras, would you cease to exist.” “I don’t want to speculate on that.”

Fear of a Black Reagan May 1, 2009 at 1:01 pm

[re=306063]gurukalehuru[/re]: Hey, he won the Attorney General gig with almost a 20% margin. So even if he’s not presidential timber anymore, he’s no slouch. Also he got the advantage of never having been taken completely serious (Joe Biden except more hippy).

Cape Clod May 1, 2009 at 1:07 pm

[re=306064]Hooray For Anything[/re]: He did say on 60 Minutes while he was mayor that Oakland was closer to San Francisco than San Francisco was.

One Yield Regular May 1, 2009 at 1:15 pm

[re=306045]Ken Layne[/re]: Jerry Brown is one of the reasons I love California. I mean, among other things, to choose Don Bachardy to paint your portrait is just inspired, and represents the very best of the state. Plus it makes for a terrific game of “Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon” in which you can now connect Jerry Brown to Kevin Bacon through Thomas Mann by way of Liza Minelli. Beat that.

Hooray For Anything May 1, 2009 at 1:22 pm

[re=306112]One Yield Regular[/re]: I just remember Jerry Brown for the whole MedFly/malathion scare and how he got tagged as Governor Moonbeam. I did, however, find his “25 Random Things About Me” that was posted on his Facebook page which includes mention of his belief in meditation.

Hart88 May 1, 2009 at 1:24 pm

He’s coming for your uncool niece.

x111e7thst May 1, 2009 at 1:32 pm

[re=306046]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: I was singing out loud. Which is not something anyone wants to hear

Bearbloke May 1, 2009 at 1:35 pm

[re=305966]Canmon (the Inadequate)[/re]: At 71, even a tie-dyed pinko hippie peacenik like Jerry has to trade the bike for a real car.

That said, I vote for him in the ’92 primaries, despite my feeling that he would’ve lost to Poppy Bush. From what I read about the last CA gov race, the Dems put up some charisma-challenged triangulating Clintonista DLC-type hack against Der Gröpenfuhrer, who got beat down like homosexual rumors at a Celebrity Scientologist’s PR-office. And since Der Gröpenfuhrer’s governance is not quite as good as his acting, Mr. Moonbeam would probably be a step up!

Bearbloke May 1, 2009 at 1:37 pm

[re=306127]Hooray For Anything[/re]: He’ll make the Medflies die on organic poison gas…

Bearbloke May 1, 2009 at 1:50 pm

[re=306034]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Yes – your vote for ‘Moonbeam 2010′ has been commanded by His Feline Holiness Pope Cat…. you will comply of face nasty hissing and scratches!

Fact_Chucker May 1, 2009 at 2:17 pm

Ah, Jerry B. So lazy, so arrogant, so uninterested in the parts of a politician’s job that don’t involve eating at restaurants with famous people, hearing your own voice on the radio, and yelling at staffers. Such a perfect synthesis of SoCal self-involvement and NorCal superiority. He IS California. I say: Governor for Life!

problemwithcaring May 1, 2009 at 2:20 pm

I am fucking terrified. This well-meaning douche is Cali’s only hope against a future Governor Antonio “Da Biggest Ho” VillaraigrossAss. May God help us all.

Lascauxcaveman May 1, 2009 at 4:16 pm

[re=306045]Ken Layne[/re]: Megadittoes on Brown’s awesomeness. All you supposed liberals should bow down and offer the man obeisance simply for his record on workers rights and defending the little guy.

But you missed the most important part: he was shagging Linda Ronstadt back when she was a hottie.

doloras May 1, 2009 at 4:43 pm

[re=306437]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Brown is a liberal? Wasn’t he supporting a flat tax (read: make the poors pay more because the rich have clever accountants) back in ’92?

Lascauxcaveman May 1, 2009 at 6:43 pm

[re=306500]doloras[/re]: Well, he is kind of simpleminded. A real Lib-tard!

Bruno May 2, 2009 at 4:20 pm

Well, I doubt is was one of us. It all seems too manual. If he said his computer was hacked or someone threw an old condom at him, I would think it was someone from ’round these parts.

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