Did you all have a “great” Mother’s Day Sunday Holiday? A brunch, perhaps, and maybe some flowers or the giving of a crappy stuffed animal toy actually intended for a toddler? GOOD FOR YOU. And now, as Wonkette’s Monday night present to all you muthas, go to this awful new website Awkward Family Photos because you might as well do it now, as 500 people — possibly including your own mother — will send you this link in the days to come. [Awkward Family Photos]
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{ 85 comments }
What a ridiculous shot. The dude’s finger isn’t even close to penetrating his girlfriend’s rectum.
Oh – and did I mention I’m barren. Insensitive bastard.
This is just plain cruel subjecting us to this, especially right after the k-lo post. Please cancel my subscription to Wonkette.
HAHA OH WOW
http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/2009/05/06/the-wonder-years/
Christ. If anyone ever posts that horrifically awkward family portrait of my kin and me by the river… I mean, I die a little every time I see it, and I can do that by walking into my parents’ living room.
I think they’re trying to duplicate the Chris Atkins/Brooke Shields motif in the Blue Lagoon.
Um. Wow.
http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/2009/05/06/the-wonder-years/
[re=313866]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Stupid, don’t be so slow.
My favorite Santorum photo had better be on that site
http://wonkette.com/406407/406407
[re=313866]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]:
A family of not-very-creative furries!
Hey Mr. Blondie, are you sure that’s your kid? That girl looks a little too familiar. (or is she not really pregnant, in which case I don’t recognize her)
Double Delish made me crap my pants.
http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/2009/05/07/juicy-fruits/
[re=313866]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: That wonder years photo just leaves you with far too many unanswered questions. There’s no way they are American, right?
[re=313854]Custerwolf[/re]: Plus we can’t see her tits so how am I supposed to get a decent preggers girl titfuck fantasy going?
I prefer awkwardboners.com myself. What mom doesn’t appreciate a good tent joke?
We had a great time. We took grandma on a flyover of the Statue of Liberty in our Gulfstream IV. It was so great to see those ants running for cover – oh I guess those were New Yorkers.
So the guy pumps at the gym 5 days a week and gets tats for his ripped shoulders, and THEN goes with the gauzy lens effect? Who wants to be they were doing anal before they even knew each other’s names? Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
That’s actually one of the more tasteful photos on that web site.
Considering where these twins were co-joined, this was bound to happen.
That looks like the flying spaghetti monster on his arm.
Anyway, i prefer this site http://waytosuckthatdick.wordpress.com/ (NSFW)
One for the site. Here’s my cousins and niece at Mom’s on Mother’s Day. I can remember growing up and having that very same look on my face every time I opened our fridge that was always empty save for a shitload of condiments and the same bottle of Pepto.
http://i389.photobucket.com/albums/oo336/brontie2/monjula.jpg
I saw that on Andrew Sullivan’s site the other day. OLD NEWZ!
[re=313884]karen[/re]: Any guy who catches me staring off into space whilst holding his cock, is welcome to dick slap me.
Good to see Levi and Bristol got back together…What’s up with his blonde hair, though?
If the information on the internets is accurate, this is actually their joint HS yearbook pic.
That may be the most disturbing thing that I have ever seen on Wonkette. Nay, the most disturbing thing that I have seen in life. And I have seen a baby cut up, man, so that’s how disturbing that is.
[re=313875]Downtheroadapiece[/re]: I prefer awkwardboners.com myself.
Ha ha, the jokes on me. There really is such a site. Hmmm…
[re=313892]Custerwolf[/re]: ZOMG! You have muslins in the families?
I still think the Huckabee family photo still tops them all. Complete with the dog’s cry for help.
http://cache.gawker.com/assets/resources/2008/08/huckabee.jpg
Then there was this awkward moment when my buddy Anne and her girlfriend ran into George while in Vegas.
http://i389.photobucket.com/albums/oo336/brontie2/annie.jpg
[re=313911]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Only cute ones.
The Bush family made the site!
http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/2009/05/02/america-fuck-yeah/
This is what drove the daughters to drink.
Alt-text: “Trig and Piper, Valentine’s Day 2025″
/fixed
[re=313916]ManchuCandidate[/re]: The cook in the governor’s mansion was one overworked person.
[re=313924]PerhapsSo[/re]: That was in the ‘Jim Beam’ years. And doesn’t little Jenna look like a young slut?
[re=313864]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Good gawd!! I misread your “…Chris Atkins/Brooke Shields…” for “…Claude Akins/Brooke Astor…”….
Ugh – that’s what happens when one has Absinthe for breakfast – but it’s 7am and I’m out of milk…
and who can forget;
http://sportsmed.starwave.com/i/magazine/new/michael_jackson_baby.jpg
[re=313940]Bearbloke[/re]: I should be able to guess but it’s past my bedtime so I’ll just ask
where are you?
Is it just me or has anyone else noticed that that guy has HUGE hands…like, bigger than his HEAD…
[re=313916]ManchuCandidate[/re]:
There are several pairs of jeans crying out for help in that pic as well!
I take it this one of the Santorums http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/4014 is in the archives somewhere.
[re=313940]Bearbloke[/re]: Hey – that’s the guy I always used to get mixed up with Matlock!
If they name the girl Miley, just call social services and have them ready to take the kid away when she squeezes it out. The poor thing is doomed.
[re=313957]Autochthon[/re]: I don’t know, I can’t see his head with her big ol’ belly blocking it.
*fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap*
Those people are awful.
*fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap*
OH and Neal Horsley’s interview was moved, because of “things.” But it will be at the end of the week. Let’s all get to know him, and course vote for him here: http://ideas.rebuildtheparty.com/pages/5641-general/suggestions/179880-fight-to-elect-neal-horsley
‘merica.
Oh and this one is weird — though not even for the reason they give. I think it looks like Dwight Shrute and two kids who happened to wander onto the beet farm one day.
[re=313966]SayItWithWookies[/re]: And I know, the poor critter’s doomed regardless of whether they name it Miley or not. But Miley would be grounds for immediate state custody, I think. That and Blanket.
Since this is a Mother’s Day thing:
http://www.kbpc.net/ghetto/Image16.html
[re=313874]x111e7thst[/re]: Word.
“Momma, you’re gonna be a grandmomma! Ah know, ain’t it great? Sis jest told me yesterday, right before we got our photer took!”
Dear Jolene — I am sorry for the trouble I have caused you and for bringing shame upon your family. Honestly it never even occurred to me that if I was going to take your picture topless you should at least be holding a rifle. Love, Jethro.
[re=313972]Country Club Jihadi[/re]: Holy fuck! Is that a pre-installed zipper on her belly or’d she have a prior caesarean?
Why is Paris Hilton’s sister in that photo hugging Matthew Lillard?
So help me God, at first glance I thought that was Bristol Palin in the photo with Levi.
f#cking red-states! those are pictures of the 2.3 percent of americans who still self-identify as “Republican.”
[re=313982]Holding Out for a Hero[/re]: You sir/madam, have not been reading your alt-texts…
It was a beautiful wedding — it took place in the garden center of the local Wal-Mart, and was officiated by Pastor Jenkins, who hasn’t had much work since his radio show got cancelled on account of him makin’ out with that fifteen-year-old Mullins tart while Mahalia Jackson was singing “How Great Thou Art.” He gave a moving speech about commitment and responsibility in front of an altar that was a palette of vermiculite with a tablecloth over it.
The cake was in the shape of a Camaro, and the bride’s first dance was “Promiscuous Girl” where she showed off her pole-dancing skills to an impressed audience. The groom, who everyone was worried would be sullen the entire day, was actually convivial and talkative. He recommended to us the amazing regenerative qualities of six Miller Lights, five white crosses and two bowls of the Hawaiian. The giant, liquor-soaked Maduro, however, finally put him over the edge. After sneaking off to the parking lot with his brother, four cousins and some fishing buddies and lighting those things up, he turned a suspicious green, got wobbly, and was escorted to the bushes where he yacked for 20 minutes.
Fortunately, after a quick beer gargle and a breath mint, he was back to his bright-eyed self with no women the wiser. And just in time for the speed metal band. Yes, some of the customers were put off and made them turn it down (to ten, ha ha) but a good time was had by all. We would most like to thank Wal-Mart, without whose gracious use of the facilities and two hours donated leave time for Bobby Lee and Crystal, this event would not have been possible.
Boioinginging pregnant broads!
[re=313992]SayItWithWookies[/re]: When you said they had white crosses I got all pumped thinking this shindig was gonna light itself up into a Klan rally. Then I realized you probably meant speed. Darn.
The Wonder Years one is disturbing on so many levels, including that the little girl doesn’t seem to be doing a very good job stroking her daddy’s johnson.
[re=313998]CaliforniaMike[/re]: I think he’d probably help her out, but Dr.Spock does say to let the little ones develop the penile grasping skills at their own pace. I’m sure she’ll get the hang of it eventually.
I especially liked the shot of the Romney boys, naked and standing VERY close, spooning…Trig, Rig, Rat, Bart and Frat….amazing
That picture is disturbing to say the least.
[re=313995]Custerwolf[/re]: That would’ve created a hostile work environment.
[re=313858]BlueStateLibtard[/re]: I thought it was Bristol and her new boyfriend, at first.
Zhu Bajie
You people give Bristol a bad rap. Blame Palin for her existence before judging her, you bastards. After that, vote for Palin when your country needs it most and such. And than impregnate somebody younger than you, and see how that works out.
Palin/Bristol 1992
Time to move on.
I can top this one:
http://whythefuckdoyouhaveakid.com/
[re=314018]Holy Cow!![/re]: Oh, my: http://whythefuckdoyouhaveakid.com/post/104710130/becuz-u-didnt-want-your-pacifier-collection-to-go
[re=313854]Custerwolf[/re]: That’s because, unlike you and your fellow libtards, he’s never studied latin. Among Southern, Republican whites it’s called, “The Gettin’ to Know You” place, but only after the first, 6th grade home invasion of a relative.
I look upon it as underground, Faulknerian: a Baptist fatwah against the Chardonnay gaysexuals and the sybaritic evils of teen tanning salons.
It is official, Obama was one of the 9/11 hijackers:
http://www.reuters.com/article/politicsNews/idUSTRE54920M20090510?feedType=RSS&feedName=politicsNews&rpc=22&sp=true
[re=313872]Country Club Jihadi[/re]: That one’s my new desktop!
[re=313992]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Bobby Lee and Crystal. PERFECT. I vote for Nevaeh for the baby.
Would the Lord smite me for beating off to this?
Awww. Mickey and Mallory are expecting.
[re=313866]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Yeah. Dear God. Someone call Child Protective Services – SWAT division.
[re=313866]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: I loved the comment: “It’s just a nudist family in winter.”
[re=313998]CaliforniaMike[/re]: That’s why I love me some Wonkette. Over there at Awkward Family Photos, the comments for “The Wonder Years” are all “Eww! Child porn! Call Social Services!”
Here: “That little girl needs to work on her technique”
I’m just proud of myself that I didn’t make any fat jokes or talked about how K-lo looks like Meatloaf in 1975 in that last post.
[re=314043]LittlePig[/re]: Wait, so over there they don’t have a problem with her technique is what you’re sayin’?
It’s like we’re looking at two totally different pictures.
Totally Bristol and Todd.
My favorite thing about the teens above is that having the guy’s hand on his lady’s ass keeps it classy. A lesser photographer might have put the young lady in a doggy-style position and the guy smoking a cigar behind her, which would’ve just cheapened the love depicted.
[re=313982]Holding Out for a Hero[/re]: Nah, I think those two are distant cousins of the Palins.
It needs repeating:
That picture is disturbing. I realize it’s a part of American history but really, it’s too much.
Here’s another Mom’s day shot. That’s my 70 year old mother on the left. If you know of any wealthy bachelor’s out there, please drop me a line.
http://i389.photobucket.com/albums/oo336/brontie2/sh.jpg
Ahaha, preggers! Bulbous: being like a bulb – imminent flowering.
[re=314520]Custerwolf[/re]: Jeez, I didn’t mean to get so possessive with the “bachelors.”
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