Wonkette
Even after all these years, we’re still shocked that a popular television host can be so morally bankrupt as to take this passage from Barack Obama’s speech — “I’m aware that there’s still some who would question or even justify the events of 9/11. But let us be clear: Al Qaeda killed nearly 3,000 people on that day. The victims were innocent men, women and children from America and many other nations who had done nothing to harm anybody. And yet al Qaeda chose to ruthlessly murder these people, claimed credit for the attack, and even now states their determination to kill on a massive scale. They have affiliates in many countries and are trying to expand their reach. These are not opinions to be debated; these are facts to be dealt with.” — but cut it off after the first sentence and tell his audience that Barack Obama “decided to give 9/11 sympathizers a voice on the world stage.” At least make your comedy show funny, Sean. [Washington Monthly]
With an apparent lack of material to work with, Sean will soon resort to screaming “DAMN YOU OBAMA” for hours at a time, followed by self-mutilation rituals in sacrifice to Ronald Reagan.
He’s become even more unhinged without Colmes as the very quiet, deferential voice of reason.
I am truly sorry that I seem to have missed Glenn Beck’s live comedy show simulcast in HD digital theaters around the nation yesterday. I am sure it would have been very very funny and very informative, because Glenn Beck is like that, and I’m sure that a billion people went and saw it and it will be the greatest box office hit in the history of everything.
I think Hannity ought to be allowed to enlist in the Army or Marines and go over there and deliver his message directly to those who would harm America.
If just given a chance, I know he would do it in a heartbeat.
What a man.
Those brown eyes are obviously the shit level in this guy…he’s simply Rush in a skinny suit.
shortsshortsshorts: If he emulates the Russian Skoptsy (they used to castrate themselves to prove their religeous fervor or general lack of sense) I will happily shell out for the pay-per-view.
Even for Hannity, this is surprising; it may be the lowest he’s sunk yet. It really is a bit of a shame Colmes is gone, because now the only people who will call him on his shit on television are shrill psuedo-journalists like Olbermann.
No wonder Hannity didn’t give the full quote … it contained the word “facts,” which causes his human-being-impersonation circuitry to overload and burn out. He would have ended up in the junkyard if he’d completed it.
You don’t understand, Jim. The Constitution says that only 3/5 of Obama’s speeches count. The first sentence was the only part of that excerpt that survived Hannity’s editing of the whole speech.
He needs to try harder. Like this: “I’m aware that [...] Al Qaeda [...] were innocent men [...] from [...] other nations [...]. These are not opinions to be debated; these are facts to be dealt with.” Clearly Obama loves Al Qaeda and hates America. I rest my case.
Sean Hannity is the cancer killing Fox News.
Not only is Obambi a terrorist sympathizer, he made a grammatical error (”there’s” instead of “there are”). Or was that an homage to the style of presidential discourse during the Bush “years” (which seemed like decades, when we were in the middle of it).
He’s another person that needs the Cheese Grater of Death taken to his smirk.
Sean hates Obama.
Osama hates Obama.
Ahmadenijad hates Obama.
Therefore, Sean is with the terrorists.
shortsshortsshorts: Or as Ms. Hannity calls it, “frisky time.”
Sean Hannity masturbates to furry porn.
I just thought you should know.
Oh how deftly I would kick his ass if I ever saw him on the street. Sweet Jesus who I don’t believe in, please let this happen.
Fisking the pronouncements of Sean Hannity is like wrestling a pig; you have to get in the layers of excrement in order to do it, and the pig enjoys it or something. Thank goodness his wackiness is counterbalanced by reasonable conservatives like John Gibson, Bill O’Reilly, and the ghost of Benito Mussolini.
In other words: quarantine, don’t engage. As Carl once asked: “What’s the freakin’ point, Meat-man?”
I don’t know why I find Hannity so much more offensive than Rush, but I do. Maybe it’s because, deep down, I suspect that Rush is actually doing some kind of edgy, incendiary performance art piece, all the while gleefully raking in millions from the blind idiots he professes to enlighten.
Hannity, OTOH, is just an angry, mouthy, talentless asshole who sold his soul and his integrity in order to be able to stroke his own dick on national television.
Someone had to do it….
Free speech is wonderful. In theory.
Sean Hannity and Alan “Panda-Sex with Minors” Berlin: Separated at Birth?
They have that same “I love your little round white tail” gleam in their eyes, I’ll tell you that.
What is a 9/11 sympathizer? Are we not supposed to feel sympathy, or is he saying people sympathize with Mohammed Atta? If the latter, he should be declared officially brain dead and cremated immediately.
oops, I had embedded a .jpg in the above entry of mine, html tags are apparently disabled…my apologies of the apparent incoherency…
Hannity’s resemblance to Samwise the hobbit has put a bad image to all gay hobbits everywhere.
Sean Hannity would make an awful Buddhist or Hindu or whatever they do there.
Instead of giving me 40 acres and a mule, I request that I’m allowed to beat the shit out of 40% of Hannity’s body. Preferably the arms, legs, and cranium. You can keep the mule.
Why doesn’t Obama just listen to the Netflix tapes that Al Jazeera broadcasts from Al Qaeda? Osama bin Laden clearly states his reasons for jihad against America, and when someone has no reason to lie you should probably take them at their word. Bin Laden hates the U.S. because we’re morally advanced, because of our literature, because of our personal liberty, because we’re well-nourished, because of baseball, apple pie, because we’re human, etc. So, thanks for giving lip service to this viewpoint for a whole sentence Obama!
Maybe a piece of shit like Hannity should realize that when someone who has killed and says he will kill again states the reasons for his actions (American intervention, Israeli occupation), we should at least listen to what he says. Even if for some reason they’re not his own motivations, they’re no doubt the motivations of his followers. Maybe, like, the CIA has an interest in this, since they want to protect against another attack. Way to sacrifice America’s safety, Sean, you filthy cocksucker.
When he and Rush are on together, wingnuts with regular teevees curse themselves for not having a wide-screen model so they can see both of their fat heroes on the screen at the same time.
lomri: Ellipses are your friend.
Fuck you fox. Seriously, the entire internet is going to turn into amateur impressions thanks to these douchebags.
somedays you wake up, step outside and know it’s going to be a good day. other days you wake up, step outside and land your foot in a fresh bag of sean hannity’s crap. just scrape it off and keep walking.
Spiro just called from Hell and said, “STFU, you Hannitering Whore-bobs of Hyper-heliumism.”
Why does Sean Hannity hate America? And is it pronounced “SEEN” or “SHAWN”?
4tehlulz: so isn’t that a good thing?
Min:
I agree. There is a “wink in the eye” aspect to my namesake whereas Hannity is just mean and right wing for the sake of being right wing.
Whenever I need to reaffirm my beliefs about the world, I watch Sean to be reminded why its important to never become a narrow minded cuntface like him.
Now someone bring me the lotion!!!
I can’t even call Hannity an asshole, because I don’t hate actual assholes enough to insult them with the comparison. At least actual assholes serve a purpose…
Dear Sean:
I would tell you to go suck a flaming dick, but that would be an insult to G*d fearing polesmokers everywhere. May I suggest instead that you simply fuck off and die?
queeraselvis v 2.0
At some point, Hanntitty is going to out dumb even the slowest of his mouth breathing viewers.
Uh, this isn’t really news. Sean Hannity has been a douchebag since the beginning. In fact, just about all the FOX News “line-up” is unwatchable. I occasionally tune in to Shep Smith because he seems the least ridiculous of the bunch (he’s just a raging queen who likes all the attention on him, I have no problem with that). Watching Glenn Beck is like watching a gigantic talking baby. O’Reilly is just some babbling uncle that no one wants to listen to. Gretta makes Joan Rivers look natural. I understand that FOX News is just an entertainment, like USA Network, and not a serious news channel. My parents, on the other hand, do not.
spryte: queeraselvis v 2.0:
see, that’s the propblem. You cannot insult him via comparison because that ends up insulting the comparitor, which inevitably is better than he is. Even shit is worthwhile, as it is waste product your body does not need. If it did not exist, you would be in bad shape. There is nothing I can think of. Well, maybe fleas. I don’t think they serve any purpose. No one even eats them.
spryte: Two purposes when you get lucky.
when he is waterboarded for charity, we can ask him about this!
This horrible, soulless troll should not be allowed to impinge upon our Friday of fun. So let’s raise the level of discourse and make ourselves all feel better.
Ode to Sean Hannity
by John Cleese
Aping urbanity
Oozing with vanity
Plump as a manatee
Faking humanity
Journalistic calamity
Intellectual inanity
Fox Noise insanity
You’re a profanity
Hannity
Interesting that no one has used the phrase “a great American,” which is Hannity’s version of “megadittoes.” He’s the kind of guy who really benefits from it being against the law to kick the shit out of people you don’t like. Can you imagine? Everyone from Jameer giving him his coffee at the AM/PM to his female producer who fluffs him before he goes on the air would be punching him.
With that in mind, I want the concession for the Hannity punching bags.
…Can we PLEASE get Nathan Lane to do a 90-minute one-man play in Hannity’s honor…Lane could really turn this into a winner (only Mike Myers could play the Cat-in-the-Hat and only Lane could do Hannity)
Fox News is to journalism what the Hindendberg was to dirigibles.* Oh the Sean Hannity!
*Rush Limbaugh?
hobospacejunkie: Dammit, Cleese has used all the rhymes. There’s not a single one left.
Hannity just understands that time is money and speeches are boring.
I mean, you don’t see Dora the Explora cold pontificatin’ at length on her thoughts about the two-state solution, do you? It’s all about demographics.
With apologies to Lord Byron:
Sean and Fox News sitting in a tree
H-A-T-I-N-G !!
First comes lies,
Then incitement,
Then a slow drowning in a vat of liquified feces while being suspended by the nads.
I loved him in Outrage.
I try think that a persons’ failure to college is not a reflection of their lack of intelligence, but their financial circumstance. Yet, when I learned that Glenn Beck and Hannity never graduated from college, I realize my assumption is probably false.
Whatever he did, whoever he did it to, and wherever he did it, i’m 100% certain that the statute of limitations has not yet expired.
One look into Hannity’s eyes and you know it’s all gonna end in the fuhrerbunker,
Hannity was enraged by even less than the first sentence of that excerpt. Sean realized from the phrase, “I am aware,” that Obama was way ahead of the entire Hannity viewership.
Cicada: Sean Hannity also looks more like a lesbian than Rachel Maddow.
takes12no1: That’s an old, OLD photo. He is fast approaching Rush proportions. The guilt eating must be really, really bad. Both know on some level the damage they’re doing to the country, especially to their weaker minded followers, so they compensate with overeating. Overeating A LOT by the looks of both of them.
Jim, have ever watched Sean Hannity? Frankly, nothing he says surprises me anymore.
OK, he would surprise the hell out of me if he agreed to be waterboarded live on national television by Keith Olbermann. But short of that, nah.
lomri: You are clearly someone who loves America. Thank you.
Min: If Rush truly is an artist at work, it’s the modern art equivalent of eating nothing but your own feces, and mysteriously getting fat while doing so.
Adolf Bachmann: Oh the Sean Hannity. That’s a keeper.
I think the difference between Rush and Sean is that Rush is genuinely dimwitted and genuinely believes everything he says even when he makes it up on the spot. He’s sincere in his uninformed idiocy. Hannity is well aware that he’s lying most of the time and is perfectly content to do so as long as he keeps getting paid.
Sean Hannity is living proof that one can be a douche, a taint and an asshole all at the same time.
Commenter, SecularAnimist wrote:
“Sean Hannity is a deliberate, malicious, vicious LIAR.
Sean Hannity is paid a LOT of money to LIE.
Sean Hannity LIES to an audience of weak-minded, ignorant, hateful Ditto-Heads who don’t know that he’s LYING, because their only sources of “information” are the DELIBERATE LIES told to them every day by Fox News, Rush Limbaugh, et al.”
Like Joe “just the facts, m’am” Friday. Nicely put.
rereridiculous: Well, I did say that it was edgy.
Lincoln: “Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation or any nation so conceived and so dedicated can long endure.”
Hannity: “Why does The Bearded One not have any faith in American endurance? He’s giving the enemy a platform to speak and now he thinks they’re going to win!”
I question the events of 9/11. And Barry is starting to piss me off.
But, fortunately, I live in a part of the world where I don’t see Hannity’s show.
BadKitty: Emphasis in your statement on “nothing he SAYS surprises me”. There is a whole range of shit that he could say which would shock the living hell out of me. But he does not, and will never, say any of it.
gurukalehuru: I can’t tell if that was serious or snark? But I’m twitchy on the subject since I watched the most significant parts of 9/11 (NYC edition) unfold - and worked in the Red Zone for the 2 months immediately after.
4tehlulz: “Sean Hannity is the cancer killing Fox News.”
No, he’s just the beetle that crawled out of the rotting corpse.
I would rip his head off with my bare hands, and shit down the stump of his neck, but judging by that photo it looks like someone has already done that.
Damn, wish I’d thought of it first!
FOxNation.com wonders:
‘Was It a Moustache?’
If indeed he was growing a thin, suspicious ’stache what secret Muslim symbol was he sending?
smellyal8r: smellyal8r: The FCC sould require a disclaimer to be shown every 15 minutes that says”Fox news is merely entertainment for audiences of weak-minded, ignorant, hateful Ditto-Heads (Thank you bitchincamaro) and any similatiy to actual news is completely and unabashedly accidental.
drrty martini:
Its pronounced “Sh-yawn.”
Zadig: And I know we have a new taboo against replying to yourself, but I legitimately forgot to say that among the things he could potentially say that would surprise me, “I am gay” is not included. Only his core viewership would be shocked by that one, and their response would be pretty damn predictable as well.
Fox thinks it’s being objective because it didn’t photoshop Obama’s skin eggplant purple.
smellyal8r: God, you just described MY family, too!
That’s why it’s called Faux News…
This seems like the perfect opportunity to share one of my new favorite things: http://www.dickipedia.org/dick.php?title=Sean_Hannity
Enjoy.
That photo of Sheer Insannity is about 10 years and 50 pounds ago.
Meanwhile, based on his ranting about Playboy’s “Hate Sex” column, I hope he doesn’t read Wonkette…
crookedE: Jesus, I went to UC Santa Barbara when Hannity had his show and knew people who worked at the station. As a not very distinguished alumnae of UCSB, I humbly apologize for me, every other student, and UC Santa Barbara for causing the sequence of events that led to his career.
Chimp-Haired Trash Bag Wrings Yet Another Lie From The Damp Rag Of His Tattered Soul. Film at 11.
Still, I’m glad Wonkette posts about it every time. If my outrage meter dips below a certain level, I might forget to vote.
gurukalehuru: I hope you voted for Ron Paul then.
It’s time to give Sean a taste of his own medicine. Some brave soul needs to creatively edit Sean’s show, and then post it on the U-tubes. I would do it, but I cannot watch more than two minutes of FAUX Nooze without breaking out in hives.
Taking all of his crap out of context, and editing with abandon, we could make him admit he’s loves pole smoking the dead bodies at the NY City morgue.
4tehlulz: OK, medically speaking, they haven’t figured out how to use cancer to kill cancer yet.
FormerDCite: No editing necessary for that.
Wait, we’ve been lied to. 911 was an inside job and the Air France jet disappearing act proves it. There was a secret twitter that kept ALL the jews off that plan before it experienced a controlled explosion
The Loons keep shouting one by one, hurrah, hurrah.
Limpnuts, Hanni-ty and Beck, hurrah, hurrah!
The men will cheer and the women will swoon,
When we lock them all in a padded room,
And they’ll still be shout-ing,
But no one will hear.
Nothing wrong with this guy that a few anal probes wouldn’t fix.
I would be happy to donate $150 to Mr.Steele’s RNC if they will water board Hannity.I don’t care for how long. Just do it. I’m serious. They could raise some serious monies like that.Please. I’ll throw in an extra $50 if they have MM do the honors.
SlipperyDick: “The only thing we’ve learned from anal probing is that 10 percent of the male population likes it” –Kids in the Hall
I’m aware that there’s still some who would question or even justify the rhetoric of Sean Hannity. But let us be clear: Sean Hannity is a vacuous doucheclown and should eat dicks until he dies of dick-poisoning. These are not opinions to be debated; these are facts to be dealt with.
Min: I think that it is because Rush’s exterior is as repugnant as his inner life. Hannity, while a lantern-jawed, simian, Black Irish cocksucker, is not immediately physically repulsive. He’s classically handsome even, in a bland television personality sort of way, but the carefully maintained exterior covers a diseased and xenophobic mind so ethically, morally and intellectually bankrupt that it seems in danger of imminent implosion.
If a person and his audience suffer from a short attention span, is it right to make fun of these challenged people? I mean, after all they use Country music as the theme music. We really should show them some empathy. I think they would really like empathy.
Compared to Rush, Hannity at least seems to be a decent human in some respects in his private life. Good family man and a charity thing of events he does raises college funds for the kids of the soldiers Bush 2.0 had set up for death, or maybe it’s kids of first responders or both. Nothing compared to the harm he does on the air every day, and the events are flag-waving little Woodstocks with the lamest country music and Oliver F’ing North.
He’s so simple it’s astounding. He has a flying car — a flying Cadillac Escalade (Hybrid, to his credit). I know this because during the high gas prices of last summer he kept complaining about the 18 cents average that comes out of every gallon of gas sold in state and federal taxes. He can’t figure out where it goes. The government doesn’t drill or explore for oil or refine it, so why the 18 cents?
I on the other hand like most people drive on something called a road, highway or freeway. He can’t figure out where the 18 cents goes? Does he think these things pave and repair themselves?
So he must have a flying car. Only possible answer for his cluelessness.
I heard him take a call on his radio show during those high gas prices that was just astounding. A harried “working mother of four” with an old minivan was complaining about the price of gas, he leapt in with an endorsement suggesting she just go out and buy herself a brand new Cadillac Escalade. Right, harried working mother of four should upgrade from an old minivan she could barely afford to keep in gas to a 40-50k luxury car. Clueless jerk, but he had a plug to do and saw an opportunity.
In most photos he looks like Sluggo, if you ever meet him ask him where Nancy is, in the photo here he seems to be channeling some inner Simon Cowell…
4tehlulz: If only…
This Chickenhawk ran very fast down the street from Dr Ron supporters during the campaign.
Neocon Propagandists now pay mercenaries to shield them from reality.
Wife & children so very proud of the cash rewards!
Federal Reserve loves him
AIPAC loves him
911 liar
Say what you will about Hannity and/or his politics. i am thrilled he spoke out today against all the deviants and women haters in the world on his show today. For any magazine to publish a list of women they want to have “hate sex” with is not freedom of speech but degrading to women and threatening to the specific women they publically admitted wanting to commit a felony act against. We need more men - and women - to speak out against violent acts and deviant thoughts against women.
essentialtwit: Yes, Hannity said he was against hate sex, but he thought they said “straight sex.”
x111e7thst: It was not snark. I am sure that if you were there the emotional impact was tremendous, but the magnitude of the catastrophe doesn’t affect the debate over whether or not it was an inside job.
My suspicions are mostly due to building 7, the statement of Larry Silverstein, the role of Marvin Bush in WTC security, the suspicious placement of W in an elementary school (if he’d been on the golf course or on his ranch, drunk, I’d find it much more believable), irregularities in the stock market, the lack of debris or any photographic evidence at the Pentagon, the speed of the collapse of all 3 buildings, and the refusal of W to cooperate with the investigation.
I’m not saying that it didn’t happen, or that it wasn’t a bad thing.
drrty martini:
It’s a Celtic name. It’s pronounced: “schvanz.”
essentialtwit: Uh…you are describing rape fantasy, which is somewhat distinct from hate sex. Hate sex is what occurs between two people from opposite belief systems, fueled with maximum antipathy toward each other, who for one reason or another end up acting on a strong mutual attraction. So “hate sex” as I understand it, is always a two way street, with both parties consenting, the hatred providing the hotness. It’s like when you have anger sex after an argument with your long time partner or spouse, it’s the last thing on the minds of each antagonist, but nevertheless you end up humping like crazed bonobos.
I watched the old show a few times - Colmes was the best we could do?
essentialtwit: Wanna have hate sex or should I just fantasize about taking you against your will?
Have you ever seen Nathan Lane and Sean Hannity in the same place, together? hmmmmmm?✌
That picture of him is total beefcake. The smile, the open collar — this man is gay as the proverbial goose.
And why, pray tell, are geese considered to be gay?
Say what you will about Sean Hannity.
gurukalehuru: So what do you waorry might actually have happened. Planted explosives?
False flag operation with the airliners? Some other thing?
Hannity is a cunt. That’s right. I said it.
x111e7thst: Well, it was certainly a false flag operation, in my opinion. I think Larry Silverstein was involved, just for the insurance money. 5 billion dollars is a hell of an incentive. Cheney had to have been involved, and Marvin Bush. There you have the owner of the complex, the head of security and the Vice President, who really had total power. It would have taken, I guess, 30-40 reasonably athletic men a couple of days to plant the explosives, and I doubt that it would be hard, within the CIA, to recruit that many right wing fanatics who believed, in all sincerity, that this was what America needed.
I don’t have details, only theories. In fact, it would be hard to have details since the investigation was so secretive and selective. (Not a single question was ever asked about building 7)
I don’t know whether or not Al-Qaeda was involved, but I suspect they might be the Lee Harvey Oswald of this game. Participants, whose major role was to play the guilty party. (After all, the planes DID crash into the buildings)
The way I see it, once you have M+M+O, that is motive, means and opportunity, you have a suspect. Between Dick Cheney, Marvin Bush and Larry Silverstein they had that.
gurukalehuru: Allow me to be the first to greet your 9/11 conspiracy theory with a resounding FUCK YOU.
Please, do the world a favor, and get the fuck off the Wonkette board with your conspiracy bullshit.
Before you go, however, please allow me to refute a couple of your “theories”:
“It would have taken, I guess, 30-40 reasonably athletic men a couple of days to plant the explosives, and I doubt that it would be hard, within the CIA, to recruit that many right wing fanatics who believed, in all sincerity, that this was what America needed.”
You do understand that demolition explosives have to be placed on structural beams, right? Structural beams in completed buildings are not accessible. They are behind drywall, support walls, fire-proof brick, etc. There is no way a crew could come in and “place explosives” without tearing apart the entire building to do so. But don’t let reality stop you from constructing your NWO fantasies.
“(Not a single question was ever asked about building 7)”
This is not even remotely true. Are you lying intentionally, or really this ignorant?
“I don’t have details, only theories.”
Yeah, we noticed. As someone who witnessed the horror of 9/11 up close and in-person, please take this opportunity to go fuck yourself.
““I don’t have details, only theories.””
I think all 9/11 deniers should have to preface everything with that. Then you know upfront you don’t have to take anything they say seriously.