A “real life” e-mail sent from John Ensign’s office today:
“Good Afternoon-
This is Jessica from Ensign’s office. I am trying to find out if anyone has any openings for interns. I have some really great interns that want to relocate to another office. If you have anything or know of someone who does please let me know.
Thanks for your help.
Jessica L. Walton
Administrative Manager/Intern Coordinator”
Oh buck up and stand by your man, interns! We guarantee you’ll learn more about Washington than all other Hill interns combined. [The Sleuth]
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Why would the interns want to stay? And I thought Peterman was still in Burma?
Loose Cannon Liz may be going to Bermuda so theres that.
And that person in Tennessee who sends out amusing emails may be moving on too, hmm?
I don’t get it. Where’s the racist joke?
Could it be because of the sex and extortion? Apparently, the whole family of the woman Ensign porked got into the act –summer job for the brat, mortgage payments for the dad and a 50% pay increase for the mom for, um, “special” services.
[re=342582]ManchuCandidate[/re]:
Ensign is probably having a serious talk with “Lil’ Johnny” right about now…
Boy, is he smarmy looking–kind of like the guy who just sold us a car at the GM dealer.
Fuck his repentant interns. Who does his hair? It’s fabulous.
Apparently the cockmeat sandwiches at Ensign’s office aren’t nearly as tasty as elsewhere.
Perhaps this is nothing more than standard ops. Ensign likes to keep his stable fresh?
C’mon you lazy-ass interns! Get in those files and dig up dirt you can sell for cold, hard cash of the kind you need to get a drink in Georgetown. For instance, you could get in with Drudge … oh, I forgot, Drudge isn’t interested in anything Republicans do wrong.
Want a brand new start, young people? Your Army is looking for a few hard men, or hardly looking for a few men, or looking hard at a few men, like Cindy McCougar. Now you can make Mumsy and Dada really proud by enlisting to protect our country and its leaders, like Senator Ensign. See you in Tora Bora.
Sounds like the interns are loudly singing Onward Christian Soldiers to drown their disgust that they weren’t invited to be apart of the three-some/four-some and move to a new camp in hopes of finding honest love and lower profile buttsex.
[re=342609]TeddyS[/re]: Dear Teddy, Can you wear seersucker and drink umbrella drinks in Tora Bora? Love, The Interns
Where’s the pics of his snuggle bunny?
My God, what the fuck could Ensign have done? The Green River Killer is already behind bars. Whatever it was, the US prosecutor in Nevada has got to be licking his or her chops.
Don’t his interns usually go into prostitution when he’s done with ‘em?
Poor Joe Isuzu. He might put in some for some of those Uighurs detainess for new employees.
God, kids are stupid. Who leaves now?
You’re front row for a real live Hill meltdown, son.
Pop some corn, pull up some floor and figure out how you’re selling your story when summer’s over.
I wish you could have used the full-length version of Ensign’s portrait. Then you’d see his hands resting on a Van de Graaf generator.
If Senator Sloppy Seconds wants to cough up another $5,400, I’ll happily provide an “opening” for one of his interns.
“Why did you leave your last internship?” “Well, once I realized that, as a male, I had no chance of being fondled by the Senator, I felt it was time to move on. I feel cheated, frankly. What’s the point of working for a Republican lawmaker if he’s only interested in adult women?”
Oh buck up and stand by your man, interns!
This is what Wonkette says to the interns.
Oh buck up and stand by your Man-Interns is what Wonkette says to the Republicans.
Between McDermott’s loony scheduler and Ensign’s predisposition towards banging the help, it seems there may be quite a few young interns floating around Washington this summer. Does anyone know if they are hot and willing? I have some family in DC I’d be more inclined to visit, if only I had some more motivation.
Send the traitors Liz Becton’s way, heh, heh, heh.
[re=342592]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Wow, you bought a GM vehicle?
[re=342623]Failed 2 Menace[/re]:
EXACTLY: “How I Spent My Summer Vacation: Watching My Boss Fuck Himself Out of a Presidential Bid, Then Throw His Dick Under a Bus.”
Best of all, hire these interns and you get to do their mamas.
From here on out, all Senators must be making their “O” face when sitting for their formal portrait/headshot. It’s just easier that way.
Come on Interns. First, if you are true believers in the Republican cause, you better get use to full on hypocrisy when it comes to Family Values. Hell, you are lucky you are with a Conservative that just has sex with a women over 18.
Secondly, give Ensign credit, he has already proved he will pay you more if you sleep with him. Stay, and you definitely have a win/win situation for you and your family.
Shit … just call Intern Jessica Austin over at Congressman Jerry Lewis’ office and she’ll fix you up with some other scuzballs from nearby San Bernardino County.
when your groupies start abandoning ship, you know you’re fuzzzucked!
Good Afternoon-
This is Jessica from Ensign’s office. I am a hopeless romantic and very affectionate, freely giving hugs, scritches, cuddles and kisses. I am trying to find out if anyone has any openings for interns. I have some really great interns that want to relocate to another office. If you have anything or know of someone who does please let me know.
Thanks for your help.
Jessica L. Walton
Administrative Manager/Intern Coordinator
[re=342716]loquaciousmusic[/re]: Excellent mashup, friendo.
[re=342623]Failed 2 Menace[/re]: right on, youth is wasted on the young.
[re=342716]loquaciousmusic[/re]: Hello Jessica, how are your teabagging skills?
DO NOT CALL HER JESS. WHO TOLD YOU TO CALL HER JESS?
[re=342716]loquaciousmusic[/re]: I have some really great interns that want to relocate to another orifice.
Fixed that for ya, no charge.
Those kids sure don’t understand political opportunism. A good GOP intern would stay and look for more juicy details to use for blackmail. That’s how you get ahead.
The questions is, do the interns have enough openings for “Long” John Ensign?
Minimum number required is two.
This Jessica L. Walton seems like a very lovely and considerate woman. I hope she applies for eLIZabeth Becton’s job assuming its a step up and Liz has finally been fired and her home repossessed.
There’s a wide array of intern openings in Larry Craig’s office.
Oh come on!!! Unless Ensign is harassing you himself, why on EARTH would you not stay? How fantastic would it be to be able to say, “I worked in Senator Ensign’s office the summer news about his affair broke”?
Don’t you want to have the inside story?
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