Wonkette
One of the great pleasures of last year’s campaign season was seeing the consulting firm of Mark Penn, history’s greatest monster, end up millions of dollars in the hole for all the great work they did on behalf of losing candidate Hillary Clinton. How was Penn going to afford his lavish subterranean cave and the constant supply of virgins bearing Ho-Hos without Clinton’s subsidies?
Thanks to donations and list rentals, our Secretary of State has managed to retire, let’s see, about $12 million in debt since she dropped out of the race about a year ago. (She also owed herself $13.2 million, which she very generously forgave due to campaign finance laws.) But she still owes Mark Penn’s firm $1.5 million, which is why he walks around in hobo rags playing a two-string banjo in Union Station.
Hillary Clinton almost out of the red [Political Ticker via Ben Smith]
Riveting stuff.
Those skinfolds aren’t going to feed themselves, y’know.
I told Sallie Mae that due to campaign finance laws and my relative lack of success on the job front that they’ll be forgiving those student loans. The nice lady on the other end must be clumsy with her receiver, because every time they call and we have this conversation, the line seems to disconnect.
That’s one of those pig/human hybrids that’s gonna kill us all with Mexican Death Aids.
You mean the PUMAs didn’t pay off Hillary’s debt?
I don’t really care if Penn gets fully paid off in popcorn shrimp and hookers. Stories like this fill me schadenfreude because things all over have been utterly fucked by guys like Penn and it is so refreshing to see him do to his clients like he’s done (indirectly) to us. Doesn’t matter how many hookers he eats or popcorn shrimp he stuffs down his pants, he’ll know that the little insignificant people will mock his ugly fat ass for setting up the biggest upset in US America politics.
Looks like we know who broke her elbow…
Penn’s original plan was leaving a horse head on her pillow, but she thought Bill was just sleeping late.
If Penn ever joins forces with Huckabee, their combined mass could tear a hole in the space-time continuum.
pigbearman: microtrend!
x111e7thst: I’m going to need more evidence that’s there’s any human DNA there…
What a great opportunity to remind ourselves of how HRC played the game while she was still in it:
Photo of Obama in scary African costume. Check.
Reverend Wright. Check.
Kneeling before Murdoch and Scaife. Check.
Played like a Republican, Ma’am.
I hope she turns out to be the greatest Secretary of State in the history of the nation. It’ll take at least that to redeem her.
Thank God for Sens. Brownback and all the other brave Republicans trying to pass legislation to eradicate human-hybrids like manbearpenn…
He could always lobby for Zimbabwe, since failure and not getting paid are right up his alley.
Oh, and that picture — what a horrible thing to do to that poor pig.
snideinplainsight: Pigbearman or, as freakishlystrong put it, manbearpen, could be a new third statue for Wall St.
The unremarked-upon story within the story here is that some gruesome collection of humans (?) gave money to Hillz AFTER she lost to help pay off debt she could easily afford to pay herself. Hee haw you fucking donkeys.
hobospacejunkie: That “gruesome collection of humans (?)” who gave Hilz the $$ is comprised of our current ambassadors to Liechtenstein, Andorra, the Vatican, etc. Plus seven Underassistant Secretaries of State for Drawing a Paycheck
V572625694: Where does a USSDP fall in the line of succession?
Bowser is back!
Hart88: Pumas need the benjamins to finance cougar-related extracurriculars. Oh, and to go down to Kinko’s and pay to use the internet machines there to photo-shop Jim’s face with some local hog or some such.
V572625694: Do we have an ambassador to Fiji yet? I might throw a few sovereigns in the kitty if I could be guaranteed a sweet gig like that.
Paterlanger: Right after Meghan McCain.
Why does my Mexican-language Allstate ad on this page have an animated scratch-off lottery ticket theme? Did they reject the low-rider idea?
Please, God, let him go on the teevee and gripe about this. Pleasepleasepleaseplease…
There is something ironic about having to pay a PR firm ridiculous amounts of money for “consulting” when ultimately they failed at their job. It’s like paying a mechanic thousands of dollars to cut your brake line.
Why does my cursor raise a middle finger whenever I run it over Mark Penn’s picture?
Shouldn’t Mr. Penn discount his bill a little since he was horribly incompetent?