The last thing your editor saw online Thursday morning was a Facebook update from Gawker Media boss Nick Denton — something about how his websites were getting these “Denial of Service” attacks, and also how Twitter was being attacked by computer monsters. Twitter! Ha ha, who would miss that?
The other thought was, “Hooray for Wonkette no longer being part of the mighty Gawker Media empire, because nobody will launch some Russian-Korean-space-weasel attack on this friendly little warblog.”
Well, that turned out to be untrue. We got hAx0redZ :< through the non-hacker technique of flooding a web server with requests for web content. Sort of like getting lots and lots more readers! But nobody is really trying to read the site, they are just trying to be annoying.
So, hmm, ENEMIES LIST? What sort of polarizing figure has a role in each sacred pizza slice of the unholy trio of Twitter, Gawker and Wonkette? MEGHAN McCAIN.
Also, maybe, North Korea? The Birthers? Robert Gibbs? Sotomayor? We would add “Lou Dobbs” to this list but unless “Denial of Service” is something that spontaneously occurs while an old idiot is yelling about Mexicans, we are probably safe from the Orange-Headed Jackhole’s impotent rage.
(Thanks to loyalist Wonkette operative “Extemporanus” (that is his/her/its real name) for capturing this important visual evidence and sending it to HQ.)
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It was actually the Iran, also.
Wasn’t it just a dream? Did we really live through that?
And I keep thinking of Iowa for some reason.
Ken, the answer to the headline-question is “I was eating a sandwich.” Although, I MAY or MAY NOT have been pushing Sotemayor’s racist evil agenda. Either way, I remember the sandwich.
One word
PUMAS
Who’s still upset we “won” (wink wink the weblog awards? HENNGH?!
[re=380592]El Pinche[/re]: )
Its hard to say, we have so many enemies. Life is a bitch when you’re a warblog.
I’m just glad that the Freepers were left alone because that site being taken down would probably lead to their armed revolution fantasy to becoming a scary reality.
I’m only 25% kidding about this, also.
I’m thinking Gog.
No wait, definitely Magog.
Perhaps it was blowback from the flag@whitehouse.gov servers, which saw a suspiciously high linkage between computer users who visit Wonkette and then report RedState idiocracy, which they discovered by capturing each and every computer’s unique MAC address like they’ve been doing for FIVE AND A HALF YEARS, ALAN.
Now is the time for Wonkette to grab the computer forensics bull by the horns, and pay the IT elves a little more OT to have them determine where the attack actually came from. Remember to tip your servers [heh].
This could be the start of a Robert Ludlum novel, yeah, that’s the ticket, where librul websites’ networks are taken down first in a republitard attempt to stifle dissent so they can execute their nefarious plot to divide America into two separate countries, and get Appalachia to merge with Texas and Oklahoma and Orange County to form the country of Reaganistan.
Then the movie gets optioned and stars Caribou Barbie, Rush Limptard, Orly Taitz, Sean Hannity, and Jon and Kate Gosselein, with cameos from the usual gang of wingtard political idiots whose savaging of the very foundations of our USA created this fershlugginer mess in the first place.
I would just like to point out that the second link in this post goes to a Web site about DDoS tech nerd stuff that lives in the “teamfurry.com” domain. Jesus, Ken, have you outsourced Wonkette’s tech support to polyamarous raccoon wannabes?
Coincidence? On the same day Wonkette gets hacked, I read that lesbians are not in fact safe from STIs(http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=1973413)(bottom letter)
Two words, Ken: dental dam.
[re=380597]memzilla[/re]: They already made that. It featured Chris Farley’s untalented brother and was called An American Carol. As I recall, its opening weekend box office take was $3.50, or “three fitty.”
[re=380597]memzilla[/re]: Newell thought it was funny (as it was) to turn in some unpleasant people to the White House Enemies List. The White House didn’t think so. And we thought you were on our side Barry! We’re leaking your Bird Certificate to Newsmax, ineligible human! And what’s this website to “fight the smears” on healthcare? Do you actually want women to get cervical cancer? Oh, well, when Palin’s president and blames unemployment on the gays, we’ll be snitching on Lindsay Graham to fag@whitehouse.gov to add to her “enemies lisp.”
This just in: Homeland Security has raised the internet terror level to:
Blue Oyster Cult “Veteran of the Psychic Wars.”
Proper defensives positions should be maintained. If you have duct tape, wrap your computer and router in it now.
Denial of service? When you’ve been married as long as I have, that’s just a normal day.
[re=380608]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Does this mean that Fox News will be playing BOC all day instead of talking? I’ll tune in when the terror level reaches Led Zeppelin “Achilles’ Last Stand.”
North Koreans are out, they’re barely competent enough to bring down a few South Korean sites for a couple hours, and they attack guv’mints. Iran’s got enough problems without worrying about Gawker and our Wonkette. Meg McCabe is an intrepid lady journalist/pundit/twatter, not a haxor. Who’s left?
….The Russians? But why? Why would the commies attack when we’re all on the verge of becoming socialists?
OMG, MAYBE IT’S THE COMPUTER FROM “WAR GAMES”! EVERYBODY PANIC!
Yeah, I say, it was probably Gog. He’s good with computers. What was I doing: biking home. I never even knew something was wrong.
All is well, fellow comrades! The momentary transition was nothing more than First Comrade Obama taking an entirely helpful and benevolent interest in every electronic communication network in the nation, and re-routing your post through the friendly White-House Data-mining servers.
YES WE CAN!!
Ted Stevens bought a big truck.
[re=380600]Josh Fruhlinger[/re]: Um … yes?
I’m lookin’ at you Paultards! All these other options are feasible, but which ONE option combines furries, wingnuts, computer nerds, birthers, truthers, and pedos in one neat easily discriminated against package? Paultards.
When does bombing commence Field Marshall Layne? “Low Orbit Ion Cannon” at the ready, name your target!
Trig is obviously online now.
DDoS = Distributed Denial of Service. That’s when many people refuse to do something that usually only one person refuses to do. Or, as I call it, Thursday night. I fail to see the problem here.
[re=380595]Oh hell to the no[/re]: Could you imagine if on a bad White House news day, someone launched a DNS on Free Republic, News Max, Fox News, Red State and The Corner? It would be War of the Worlds all over.
[re=380619]Ken Layne[/re]: No reason to be appologetic, Ken. Everyone knows that polyamarous furries make the best techies.
[re=380611]My choice. My Wonkette.[/re]: Sadly, Fox, as it does whenever there is a national tragedy, has gone to playing “God Bless the USA” over a still of Steve Doocy giving Bill O’Reilly a bath with a red, white and blue loofa.
[re=380625]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Wait. Doesn’t “Denial of Service” imply that Wonkette provides a service?
In my experience, denial of service usually happens when someone is not wearing shoes or a shirt. Ken?
Oh is that what it was. I saw this post about “get on the Obama enemies list” but the layout was all shot to hell and therefore I thought it was a hacked message from CITZENS for THE REPUBLIC.
I was going to sleep (in a different timezone from almost everyone there) and changing my identity (From Bill E Pilgrim, I decided it was time to let go of the sixties finally. Sniff. I figure doing so before the NEXT 60s arrive might be wise anyway)
And now, my keyboard is running out of parentheses so I’ll hack off. Er, hats off. Er.
Strange, my changing into my superhero identity didn’t stick when I changed computers. Isn’t the login a login no matter what?*
*Dr Seuss
Ah there we go.
[re=380627]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]:
Well, I’m sure the justification would be that all of those sites *have* successfully executed DDoS attacks on the GOP for quite some time and now that entire network is compromised. So, it’d be fighting them over there so we didn’t have to fight them over here.
So, if that happened, before shit stopped wingnut and started getting realnut, they’d probably all crowd onto a server on Fox News’ site like a virtual Superdome. Shep Smith would be tweeting why no one is helping these Real Amurkins.
Meanwhile, Barry won’t issue a statement for days, claiming Bo ran off with his BlackBerry and he had just heard of plight of the Real Amurkins. Then, he’s do a quick “flyover” of what was going on via checking out what’s trending on Twitter. At some point Biden would post an update on facebook saying “Joe Biden could give a fuck about the Real Amurkin netfugees.” Barry, Rahmbo et al would “like” this update and then a screenshot of this would somehow make its way onto Batshit with Beck and, as someone of nagger extraction, that’d be my cue to get the fuck out of the country because shit’s about to go down. I see Wonkette as the brave BBC, fearlessly covering the story from angles no one else would (lots of alt-text).
Still, Wonkette might want to look into befriending a librul Erik Prince to protect them just in case shit goes down.
Don’t worry, I’ll proudly display my support of the libruls with whatever color people decide the awareness TruckNutz will be (blue?) while living out of my car in Toronto, vowing to return to Amurka and rebuild Wonkette. One day…
I’m off to pack and “go” bag and consult Ready.gov, also.
Did anyone else just experience (@ ~8:00 GMT) the AGONIZING HELL of loading “Wonkette.com”, only to be met with completely content-free frames (just the masthead & acknowlegements on the left)?
Or am I going mad from the infected corn-spores I bought in Carroll County, Iowa?? (*cue laugh track*)
Come on, I want to hear the real story about crazed teabirthers busting down the door and shouting down all the satire so people logging in couldn’t hear it.
Now THAT’S a denial of service:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/08/06/man-offers-40-goats-and-2_n_252644.html
Actually, Dobbs thinks it’s “Denial of Cerveza,” when you take away the Brown People’s beer so they get mad and go home.
Oh at that time I’m watching movie, and also in facebook and twitter I tell them I’m watching movie!
I linked to this electro-ectomorphic, 1261 x 9401 screen grab of the entire STDoS-infected Wonkette front page on a previous thread, but I really feel that it bears further examination:
Wonkette haxx0rzed!
Typically, a “denial of service” attack results in just that—a denial of service. You click the clicky, the spinner thing spins and spins and spins, and eventually you get a message saying something along the lines of “Sorry dude, but that website’s server is totally eating shit right now so maybe try again later, or surf for some pr0n, or whatevs, OK?”
In the case of our besieged Wonkette, some of us were actually able to access the site, albeit after an AOL-dial-up-worthy wait. WHY? And for those of us who were lucky enough to make contact with a critically injured-yet-still-quasi-functional Wonkette, why did it look all Invasion of the Body Snatchers-man-headed-dog-scene-y?
Finally, was the layout of the unauthorized redesign intentional? And if not, why did it look so fucking fucked-up awesome, and why did it hit just in time to visually, creepily, underscore the “You’re being watched” post? Seriously though, the top third of the page gave off a stench of being fucking prophetic or some such shit. WHY?
That wasn’t a DoS attack. That was the Internet vomiting when it heard Hillery lecture those backwater Kenyan democracy wannabes about prosecuting their war criminals, instead of covering it up and pushing a policy of looking towards the future. Too much irony in the tubes can make your router thingy twitter.
Did anyone see any supermodels with odd religious beliefs hanging around computer terminals yesterday? If you did, IT’S THE CYLONS! WE’RE FRACKED!!!! ONLY EDWARD JAMES OLMOS CAN SAVE US NOW!!!
Okay, you caught me. I promise not to do it again.
ZOMG Wonkette got virtually bumrushed by teabaggerz!
Perhaps “cyxymu” posts here?
http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,21985,25895444-661,00.html
I’d put my money on Orly Taitz, Esq, DDS, Realtor, 1337. I’m pretty sure she managed to pick up some sort of hacker certification when for 1/2 price wherever she scored the JD/DDS. Actually, the diploma mill might have just thrown it in as a gift for their frequent customer.
Delete that stray “when” before “1/2 price”.
I was sitting through an utterly mediocre date.
Now we know what the RNC’s voting machine hackers do to keep busy when we’re not in an election cycle.
“Busy, busy, busy.”
That or masturbating furiously.
Oh you stupids! Real Murkins hack websites, dontchaknow?
Can’t you just subscribe to MacAfee or something?
I think they can sell you a firewall or a dyke or a berm.
this blows fred thompson’s theory about twitter freedom fighters right out of the water.
Meg McCabe will not call off her team of l337 Sturgis h@xx0rz until she receieves a visit from Bill Clinton. John Bolton was right all along.
[re=380628]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Not buggering him with the loofah?
Zhu Bajie
Wasn’t Chinese hackers; they usually attack Japanese Ministry of Defense sites, usually connecting the buttons to porn sites.
That gives me an idea: how about one of you US techies connect the White House, etc., to tentacle hentai sites?
Zhu
i am loving these mullet democracy in action videos of the town hall meetings turning violent. Red state has a particularly arousing one.
[re=380593]El Pinche[/re]:
Thank God you closed that parenthesis, El Pinche, otherwise everything said in this thread would have been an aside, and not the main point.
I blame this guy. And his ideological breastfeeding. Also.
Sort of like getting lots and lots more readers! But nobody is really trying to read the site, they are just trying to be annoying.
Hm.
First they came for 4chan, and I did not speak out–
because I was not a /b/tard;
Then they came for the Twitters and I did not speak out–
because I was not a Twitterer;
Then they came for the Facebooks and I did not speak out–
because I was not a Facebooker;
Then they came for the Gawkers and I did not speak out–
because I was not a Gawker;
Then they came for the Wonkett–
and there was no one left to speak out for me.
But nobody is really trying to read the site, they are just trying to be annoying.
Can’t it be both?
WTF – I get one day of field work and no internet and miss a Great Hack. Not sure who/what did it but this isn’t that hard, a couple of script kiddies on IRC could prolly do it. And such also Blame Ebaum’s World.
8.6.2009: Never Forget
If da shrub was reading the latest installation of “My Pet Goatse” on his Twitterface page and got H@axx0red, no doubt we’d be in WW-IV by now. Oh wait–he ain’t Preznit anymore, is he?
Ai caramba! No more Supreme Court decisions written in fucking Gringo. It’s like the Cinco de Mayo all over again. Food stamps and tacos for everyone! (Does the Hat Dance.)
“But nobody is really trying to read the site, they are just trying to be annoying.”
How is this different from any other comment ever posted on Wonkette
North Korea? The Birthers? Robert Gibbs? Sotomayor?
Denby.
Hey Wonkett – apparently you think Iowa is funny.
[re=380744]snideinplainsight[/re]: Any place where cornholing is practically the state sport is automatically funny, though that might just be my urban snark talking.
I was getting really drunk. You??
[re=380670]zhubajie[/re]: I say bath, you say bugger. When it comes to Steve and Bill, I think the less graphic, the better.
And, by the by, I have always wanted to tell you how much I like the source of your nom de blog when I finally did some researched and Googled it. I like when I learn cool stuff.
CIA Facebook
MI6 CIA Mossad Twitter Toy
Left and rights of passage, black and whites of youth.
Who can face the knowledge that the truth is not the truth?
Obsolete absolute.
Anthrax Intimidation.
JFK RFK MLK Malcolm.
Israel-first dual-nationals.
InfoWars on a PrisonPlanet?
A very RawStory on PressTV.
Whistle-Blower leaks multiply.
Beware the divide and conquer.
Both parties are corrupt to the core.
Honesty compassion conscience guts.
Speak no evil, hear no evil, see no evil?
Elite Ruling Class Greed or “public servants”?
Independents agree on more than we disagree.
AIPAC 9/11 Bankers Extortion Blackmail Bribery.
Wall Street Bailout Bill: Bush McCain Obama et al.
Poodles, Puppets, Sham debates, & Scam elections.
Has the Government & Propaganda Media lied to you?
Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.
Chronic lying as career path, intellectual prostitution for paycheck.
DNC & RNC have both sold out the country in order to enrich themselves.
Future of a Nation that can not trust the Government & Propaganda Media?
Realignment of American Politics:
Anderson Baldwin Carter Choate Clemente Gonzalez Gravel Kaptur Kucinich McKinney Nader Paul Perot Sheehan Ventura
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