- GREEN EFFIN SHOOTS Y’ALL, happy days are here again! The unemployment rate fell to a mere 9.4% in the marvelous month of July. [New York Times]
- Huzzah, the Senate has appropriated more cash for Cash for Clunkers. (For Clunkers.) [Washington Post]
- Oh good Lord. Harry Reid used an actual patch of AstroTurf as a visual aid to demonstrate what dicks the Republicans were being about health care reform and described their intransigence with the most stinging insult in the English language ( “vexatious stuff”). [Washington Post]
- President Obama’s counterterrorism chief says, “January sounds like an OK closing date for Guantanamo, but so do a lot of other months.” [Wall Street Journal]
- AIG, the insurance giant and one of the most despised companies in America, has posted its first profit in seven quarters. [Bloomberg]
- John Hughes, the cinematic Tolstoy of our times (honestly!), died too young. [RogertEbert.com]
A Very Vexatious Friday
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You have reached the Coughlin Bros. Mortuary. We are unable to come to the phone right now but if you’ll leave your name and number…
As far as literal examples go, it would have been interesting if the MSM described GOP intransigence as monkeys flinging their poo instead of astroturf which it pretty much has been.
“Shut up, bitch. Go fix me a turkey pot pie.”
RIP John Hughes.
I was going to dismiss John Hughes as just some half-forgotten director of lightweight teen movies, until I discovered that he wrote the original story for Drillbit Taylor! (Under his “Edmond Dantes” pseudonym, of course.) Now I will have to completely reevaluate my way of thinking.
(1) And I put some tits on a bull to demonstrate Harry Reid’s usefulness to a progressive agenda.
(2) “Sorry, folks, park’s closed. Moose out front shoulda told ya.”
Sara K. sure likes parentheses this beautiful Washington morn’.
I woke up and noticed two things in the news:
1) Some guy got his shirt ripped because he was being a douche. Drudge blames the ‘union thugs’. That makes me laugh. Hard
2) For the first time in some weeks, the morning humidity was below 4300%. I arrived at work without a sweaty back. What a joy.
Maybe the economy isn’t as bad as everyone thinks it is. Maybe there has just been a massive clearout of useless, clock-watching drones who spent the whole day websurfing the blogs instead of working.
Uh oh. Better get busy.
“247,000 Jobs Lost in July; Rate Falls Slightly to 9.4%”
And now for the bad news…
I hope it’s not a dead cat almost bottom. AKA “Green shoots and leaves”.
“Bueller? … Bueller? … Bueller?”
Hey. If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I’d like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, fore-fleshing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where’s the Tylenol?
Thanks for the many laughs, Mr. Hughes.
This is doubly sad because I was counting on John Hughes to make the first great film about Guantanamo. Guess I’ll have to pin my hopes on John Waters instead.
[re=380692]TGY[/re]: Speaking of. Dipshit got his ass fired for “ethics violations“.
[re=380696]SmutBoffin[/re]: That’s economist Ben Stein to you, bub.
Carroll County, Iowa! HAW!!!
USA USA we are number one now that our very own AIG made a profit!
Is it a real profit or is it a mark up from selling the most profitable parts of the company off? and giving them names like ARG, Chattels, ATM &c…
why don’t they ever portray axelrod as hitler?? he looks just like him! i guess the wingnuts only want to portray their enemies as brown despots.
[re=380694]Todd Mecklem[/re]: Farhas Bular’s Eight Years Off, or something like that.
Going to Chicago this weekend — will make reservation at Chez Paul under the name “Abe Formann, the sausage king of Chicago.”
Today we are all geeks with our buttocks taped together, stuffed into a locker by the mean wrestling jock who is crying while recounting the story, Claire.
[re=380696]SmutBoffin[/re]: No biggee. He’ll be showing up at the Washington Post next week.
Hughes was a visionary.
“My best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who’s going with the girl who saw Ferris pass out at Thirty-One Flavors last night.”
See? He totally foresaw how the birther movement would work.
Now all that remains to do is gather up all known copies of John Hughes movies and incinerate them. Oh, and drag Harry Reid from a chariot circling the walls of the Senate.
Wery wexatious, indeed. Wery.
[re=380730]Norbert[/re]: Methinks Harry Reid’s reed is too hairy. Likely to get caught in the chariot.
OT, super classic Nooningtonhamptonshire projection today…
[re=380723]ProfessorJukes[/re]: I thought that was the 80s form of Twerttering, much like today’s cable modem is nothing more than a souped-up Sears phone receiver resting on an acoustic coupler.
[re=380696]SmutBoffin[/re], [re=380698]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Expelled!
And hey, we managed to off Baitullah Meshud, too, apparently. He was the leader of the Taliban in western Pakistan — which probably means that Dubya’s war against al-Qaida in Iraq is finally bearing fruit.
That doesn’t really help those of us in the 9.4%. But I guess it’s good news in the vein of “The painful discharges are less frequent and painful, so the chlamydia must be on the wane!”
“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”
Words of wisdom. Rest in peace, John Hughes.
And Ben Stein got booted from his NY Times column. I’m guessing he’ll land at the WSJ but once they start charging for material . . .
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