- According to recent private remarks, Dick Cheney is rather sore at George W. Bush for “going soft” in his (Cheney’s) second term as president. [Washington Post]
- Wal-Mart’s sales suffered an unexpected decline in Q2. [CNN]
- Jewel thieves got their hair did and donned elaborate latex masks before a they committed Britain’s biggest jewelry robbery ever. Guy Ritchie’s film adaptation of this caper is due out in 3 … 2… 1. [Guardian]
- A new study suggests that the North Atlantic has seen more hurricanes in the past decade than it has for 1,000 years. But don’t fret about global warming, because at least one climate scientist involved with the study cites “rather large levels of uncertainty” in its findings. [New York Times]
- First Sarah Palin floats this outrageous notion of “death panels,” and then she gets mad at Obama for not taking her criticisms seriously. [AP]
- When a ship called the Arctic Sea goes missing, you can make endless jokes about how people are searching frantically for the Arctic Sea and why don’t they just check a map, for crying out loud. [Bloomberg]
Kaia Mursi (45)
Kirsten Boyd Johnson (801)
Jim Newell (5435)
Wonkette Jr. (628)
Liz Colville (97)
Blair Burke (171)
Garrett Quinn (13)
Ken Layne (6696)
Matt Langer (40)
Arielle Fleisher (385)
{ 51 comments }
Jesus, I can’t even read past the first post, all I can think about is Dubya “going soft”. Oh dear God.
Well of course Walmart’s sales are down. Everybody’s doublewides are packed to the ceiling with their cheap crap and they have no place to put another widescreen TV and a ham.
Now they’re all trying to get on one of those shows where a TV crew comes to your house and films all the bags and boxes and rats and everybody screams. Then they put your stuff out on the lawn and paint all your rooms white and you cry because it’s so beautiful. Good times.
I suggest they put Palin in charge of the end of life counseling. After a ½ hour session of her insane babbling people would walk out the door directly into the path of the nearest bus. Think of the money saved. Bus repair shops get more business. Win and win!
Let’s bail out Walmart (viz. China)
They should have called that ship The 2000 Pound Gorilla in the Room or something.
I’m not surprised that Cheney remarked that his privates are still sore, after he raped us all for eight years. We’re sore too, Dick.
Sarah Palin needs to do something drastic to get her credibility back. I suggest a joint venture between herself, O’rly Taintz, and ol’ crazy eyes from the Specter town hall.
May I suggest a title for Cheney’s memoirs: “Dick”
Please wake me when that man is dead.
Does Caribou Barbie think anyone takes her seriously beside Bill Kristol(or is it that he would like to seriously take her?)
[re=385115]freakishlystrong[/re]:
Maybe G-Dub never saw that pic of Cheney eating ice-cream and packing heat.
You guys and Palin are worse than Sportscenter would be with a Terrell Owens/Brett Favre gay marriage.
[re=385137]norbizness[/re]: I dunno about ESPN, but I expect John Madden would spend the rest of his life crying into his pillow and asking “why couldn’t it be me?”
Sarah says there’s death panels. Murkowski says they ain’t. I trust the purty one.
Or Google Maps! One time on Google Maps and I found my car, which was right outside my door. Surely Google Maps can find that pesky boat.
I assume Waldo is on board. That’s hard.
[re=385132]pinko-commie[/re]: Name’s already taken.
http://www.amazon.com/Dick-Kirsten-Dunst/dp/B000021Y7E/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1250171800&sr=1-1
Maybe “Dick C.” Or “Another Dick.”
[re=385170]Don Juanquete[/re]: OK. Prick then.
[re=385115]freakishlystrong[/re]: I wasn’t thinking along those lines until I read your comment.
Damn you to hell, (shakes fist).
Hey Mr. Fancy Pants President! Are you too busy saving the US and the World and everything to pay attention to Sarah Palin? She knows what she’s talking about. You betcha! I read it on the Internets, so it must be true.
And you don’t have time to look at Facebook! Yeh, right…
The title to that AP Palin story could use a revision.
“Unemployed corky-pimping hosebeast w/ horrible self-esteem issues and alarmingly large facedimples doubles down on the stupid shit that rolled out of her dirty whorish mouth, into Meg Stapleton’s cobwebby ear/brain, and onto the facebooks the other day.”
George, thanks for dickblocking.
[re=385170]Don Juanquete[/re]: Titles of books can’t be copyrighted, last time I heard. So he can name his book Dick with impunity. Or just Dick.
[re=385184]KilgoreTrout_XL[/re]: You should write for AP. In the alternate copy division, at least. I would totally read your version of every story.
Wow… the WaPo article says Cheney drives a black SUV (no surprise) each morning to pick up… a *decaf latte*!!! Is Cheney the one who’s going soft?
“What impressed me was his continuing zeal,” said an associate who discussed the book with Cheney. “He hadn’t stepped back a bit from the positions he took in office to a more relaxed, Olympian view. He was still very much in the fray. He’s not going to soften anything or accommodate shifts of conscience. There was no sense in which he looked back and said, ‘I wish I’d done something differently.’ Rather, there was a sense that they hadn’t gone far enough. If he’d been equipped with a group of people as ideologically rigorous as he was, they’d have been able to push further.”
That impressed him? That scares the shit out of me.
Oh, and I like this: Cheney “views concessions to public sentiment as moral weakness. ”
Meaning, Cheney thinks Democracy is a pile of shit.
[re=385200]ProfessorJukes[/re]: He adds his own mixture of placenta and the tears of muslin widows. Starbucks never makes it to his satisfaction.
[re=385117]Joshua Norton[/re]: Hey Pal, there’s always room in my double-wide for one more 5 lb box of Cheetos. You elitist!
My God, the balls on that Dick.
[re=385170]Don Juanquete[/re]: [re=385174]pinko-commie[/re]: Sorry. Samuel Beckett got there first. Mind you, Dickie could also submit a revised edition of this, for old times sake.
Obviously, we need a bailout program for Wal-Mart. Call it Cash for Chunkers (To Buy More Cheetos)
Jewel thieves got their hair did and donned elaborate latex masks before a they committed Britain’s biggest jewelry robbery ever.
I think they did that one on “Leverage” last seeason.
[re=385207]Doglessliberal[/re]: Maybe the stress will make his heart fail faster. He needs to get more of the public ridicule Palin gets.
[re=385239]Min[/re]: I wonder how much they paid to get their hair did.
Who talks/writes like that?
[re=385243]Uncle Glenny[/re]: He is immune to ridicule. The man truly does not think anything he has even done or thought has been wrong. He is the most stunningly egotistical human ever. I mean has ANYone ever been that sure of him or herself about everything? He is a deadly combo (literally to a whole lot of soldiers and Middle eastern civilians) of narcissist and ideologue.
Shudder.
[re=385207]Doglessliberal[/re]: “He hadn’t stepped back a bit from the positions he took in office to a more relaxed, Olympian view.”
What the fuck does this EVEN mean? Are we to infer that Cheney is Ares? Hephaestus? Was Georgie Porgie supposed to Zeus or something? Argh! Greek mythology FAIL.
[re=385253]Doglessliberal[/re]: EVER done. Not even. But you get my point. He is wacko.
[re=385253]Doglessliberal[/re]:
Dick Cheney is really a malevolent Homer Simpson.
[re=385255]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: I know. I ‘d love to know who that “associate” quoted was. An ass-kissing disciple, no doubt.
They can’t find the Arctic Sea — hmm — have they tried using two hands and a flashlight?
Last I heard Wal-Mart was hiring 22,000 more people? Ah well,glad they are hurting like everyone else, it was inevitable even for the mighty big box.
As for Sarah, hard to take anyone who writes utter gibberish seriously. I figure that Trig, the developmentally challenged abortion survivor, is already about 8 IQ points smarter than she is.
[re=385261]ManchuCandidate[/re]: oh, I think he is actually very smart. Which is even more scary. No bumbling there. He schemes and manipulates. Bush bumbles.
Does Cheney realize he is ruining his chance for another government job!!!
[re=385261]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Meaning that he’ll sum up his memoirs by writing “there is no moral to the story, it was all just a bunch of stuff I did.”
Sarah. Oh Sarah, Sarah, Sarah. It’s sweet that her ignorance can still shock us after all this time.
For Sarah Palin “brushing off” means “reading the text verbatim” and “health care concerns” means “crazy attention grabbing paranoia.”
Sarah Palin:
SRSLY, U GUYS!
U guys.
Srsly.
Dude, have you *seen* the jewel thieves? They look like the Culp/Cosby duo from “I Spy”! Guy Ritchie will have a lot to work with.
Over at TPM they have a new pic of Palin that looks really, uh, “methier” than usual.
Sarah should have thought about that take seriously part when she was flipping through the dictionary to find names for her kids.
Softie Dubya wouldn’t even declare martial law to extend Bush/Cheney beyond January ’09. Wimp.
towards the end I think W realized he was a kind of puppet and that everything he did was an orcheastrated farce. He did the one thing he could, not pardon Scooter.
Comments on this entry are closed.