• February 15, 2012

Curly-haired men are suspect.Paultards were so sad when their Hobbit-King, Ron Paul, finally quit running for President sometime earlier this year. They had nobody to whom they could send their precious money-bombs of Liberty! Fortunately, his son — Ayn “Rand” Paul — is running for Senate in Kentucky, and he raised many moneys yesterday in one of these bombing events.

From August 20:

We’ve raised over $100,000 already today, and it appears things are just getting started.

“The official Rand Paul for Senate website, RandPaul2010.com, reported as of 8:00 a.m. Eastern that the campaign had taken in about $100,000 in Internet donations overnight, bringing the campaign’s total war chest to more than $300,000.”

And holy wow, he’s up over $680,000, which is a pretty good haul! Now he can buy himself a proper blimp.

Rand Paul “Money Bomb” Exploding Today [Rand Paul 2010]

{ 45 comments }

bfstevie August 21, 2009 at 10:37 am

I’m pretty sure that’s Eddie Haskel.

widget09 August 21, 2009 at 10:40 am

It’s hard to believe there are that many retards in Kentucky………oh wait a minute, no it’s not that hard to believe.

Eric Cheney August 21, 2009 at 10:43 am

Is that pronounced “Ran-dee”? Is he wafer thin or a complete vapor-candidate? Will he our marry snow tart Sarah and beget little Newts?

the problem child August 21, 2009 at 10:45 am

[re=392294]widget09[/re]: I don’t think they’re all in Kentucky, because the subset of the Kentucky-tards who would be donating AND be doing it on the intertubes just doesn’t add up to that much moolah.

SayItWithWookies August 21, 2009 at 10:46 am

Well — I was going to make fun of his stands on the issues, but most of them are just blank pages. At least he knows his audience.

hobospacejunkie August 21, 2009 at 10:47 am

I don’t know how expensive Pennsyltucky senate races can be, but here in Texas each republican candidate has around $10million already. I fear for future Wonkette funnies if Rand considers a number under $1million to be significant. Yet it is early still and there is plenty of krazy in P-Tucky to be tapped.

finallyhappy August 21, 2009 at 10:47 am

[re=392291]bfstevie[/re]: Didn’t he just retire from the LA police- he was shot a few times in the line of duty- Eddie Haskel- not Pon Raul’s demon offspring.

Roger3815 August 21, 2009 at 10:48 am

He will be crushed. Putting him in the Senate would be like putting a Radio Shack in an Amish village.

NJB August 21, 2009 at 10:51 am

[re=392304]Roger3815[/re]: Or maybe a Hooters.

OffTheRecord August 21, 2009 at 10:51 am

[re=392294]widget09[/re]: None of that money is actually coming from Kentucky. We choose to spend our hard earned cash (welfare) on ‘bacco, liquor, and Cheetos.

As much as I would actually love for Randerson to win the nomination, just because I love the crazy (and because a Dem could actually beat him), the fact that all of his money is coming from out of state is going to be a serious problem because Kentuckians are weird and trust no one who ever leaves the commonwealth.

ella August 21, 2009 at 10:52 am

[re=392291]bfstevie[/re]: He kind of reminds me of the guy on Dallas who was dead until he showed up in the shower and wasn’t.

AnnieGetYourFun August 21, 2009 at 10:53 am

[re=392304]Roger3815[/re]: Both the Amish and Paultards like to dress up like it’s 1781 – COINCIDENCE?!!!!!

KilgoreTrout_XL August 21, 2009 at 10:54 am

He kinda looks like that dude from that POS show “Dallas” that my mom used to watch after the kids were done watching “V”. Also, Jim Bunning wraps his turds in tin foil and saves them in his freezer, so it’s really anyone’s game down there, and that’s kinda two things in tardpail’s favor already.

bignutz2 August 21, 2009 at 10:56 am

Ran-d. He’s rocking the mic you know.

KilgoreTrout_XL August 21, 2009 at 10:56 am

[re=392308]ella[/re]: YES YES.

norbizness August 21, 2009 at 10:57 am

Unfortunately, 93.4% of the money is in useless Confederate dollars and hand-made bank notes.

Paul Tardy August 21, 2009 at 10:57 am

I keep telling y’all, putting all your money in gold and living with your parents for the last 10 years left the Paulites solvent and mostly unmarried. Think about it ladies a 1 oz wedding band would not be a problem, now a diamond ahhhhhh those arennnnnnnn’t likly to hold their valuuuuuuu?

Have they ever seen a Blimp over Kentucky? Could work unless it’s windy.

PrairiePossum August 21, 2009 at 11:00 am

Time to Pimp da Blimp!

ManchuCandidate August 21, 2009 at 11:05 am

Is that fiat currency or Shrute bucks?

OffTheRecord August 21, 2009 at 11:06 am

[re=392302]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Kentucky is a relatively inexpensive state in which to campaign. The media market is generally cheap, plus there are no college sports in the summer so you basically get the news all to yourself. If you are headquartered in Louisville or Lexington you can drive anywhere in the state in a few hours. It’s a lot of county fairs and annoying signs and appearances on KET. If you’re lucky everyone once in a while someone will call their opponent Saddam Hussein’s son or something equally offensive, but generally it is pretty boring.

snideinplainsight August 21, 2009 at 11:06 am

I liked him with Wynona in AUTUMN WHEEZE.

CorkPopper August 21, 2009 at 11:21 am

He’s kinda cute. Since his mouth is closed and I can’t hear the crazee.

bfstevie August 21, 2009 at 11:27 am

[re=392291]bfstevie[/re]: Pardon my misspelling. It’s actually Haskell.

I was referring to Edward Haskell, synergic scientist and integral thinker who dedicated his life to the unification of human knowledge into a single discipline.

The actor who played Eddie Haskell on Leave it to Beaver, Ken Osmond, did indeed follow the career path you described.

I must ask, if only rhetorically, How were any of us insufferable assholes before Wikipedia? And by us I mean myself.

bfstevie August 21, 2009 at 11:35 am

[re=392308]ella[/re]: [re=392311]KilgoreTrout_XL[/re]: 2 points for each of you.http://tinypic.com/r/v63mhd/3

It’s Patrick Duffy.

finallyhappy August 21, 2009 at 11:38 am

[re=392311]KilgoreTrout_XL[/re]: Bobby, yes! and much more important-since you mentioned V- I see they are remaking it but w/o Robert Englund as the good lizard invader.

sham69 August 21, 2009 at 11:38 am

Isn’t this the state the elected Jim Bunning? Yeah, they’d elect a turnip with glued-on googly eyes – for freedom!

bfstevie August 21, 2009 at 11:38 am

[re=392367]bfstevie[/re]: oops. http://tinypic.com/r/v63mhd/3

Tybalt August 21, 2009 at 11:39 am

Ah, sorry, we misreported. It’s not 100,000 dollars for Rand, it’s 100,000 rand, which is about eighty-five bucks. I guess the good news is, the Apartheid die-hards love the Paul family!

hobospacejunkie August 21, 2009 at 11:42 am

[re=392360]bfstevie[/re]: I’ll cop to that, with the caveat that wikipedia has only made me into even more of an insufferable asshole. However, I am still the first person they go to when my friends & wife don’t know the answer to something. Then I give it to them & they still ridicule me, the fuckin’ ingrates.

Rodney Badger August 21, 2009 at 11:46 am

I thought he was named after Ayn Rand, which would be stupid and gay. So I am hapy to learn that his ful name is Randal. With only one L. Because al largese is bad, be it in government or speling. RON PAUL

Prommie August 21, 2009 at 11:49 am

[re=392312]bignutz2[/re]: You stole my domo-kun, you turd.

bfstevie August 21, 2009 at 11:50 am

[re=392303]finallyhappy[/re]: Can you find it in your heart to forgive me? I addressed my response to your comment to me.

They must learn to keep us olds away from the intertubes.

This Cat August 21, 2009 at 12:19 pm

[re=392306]NJB[/re]: Oh no, the Amish love those onion rings

Spiderfrommars August 21, 2009 at 12:20 pm

They made a big mistake by running RandPaul…$100k is chickenfeed, even in a state that knows the value of chickenfeed.

Now, if they’d run the other brother, RuePaul, WHOLE ‘nother story.

kentuckienne2 August 21, 2009 at 12:35 pm

[re=392307]OffTheRecord[/re]: Totally. A Kentuckian who leaves is as bad as someone from New York. On a different note, I am so looking forward to my mother describing this nutball’s advertising to me!

finallyhappy August 21, 2009 at 1:15 pm

[re=392394]bfstevie[/re]: as another oldz-I thought you were just telling yourself something. I like to do that- esp here at work. I am often the only intelligent person with whom I can have a conversation.

Joey Ratz August 21, 2009 at 1:37 pm

[re=392302]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Ah, but how much of that came from those money bombs? Everybody knows that money only counts when it arrives in bomb form. Just ask Raytheon or Lockheed Martin.

[re=392383]Rodney Badger[/re]: Excellent!

assistant/atlas August 21, 2009 at 1:51 pm

[re=392429]Spiderfrommars[/re]: Paul/RuPaul 2012! Pete/Repeat 2020!

glamourdammerung August 21, 2009 at 1:57 pm

It will not be a real Paul campaign until Larry Pratt and company crawl out from under their rocks.

chascates August 21, 2009 at 4:44 pm

It’s the blimp, Frank, it’s the blimp!

glamourdammerung August 21, 2009 at 5:35 pm

Also, does anyone else think Paul the Lesser is only running to try to get Sacha Baron Cohen to expose his penis to him?

desertwind August 21, 2009 at 10:16 pm

“Rand” Paul? Oh, jesus god.

He’s gonna get elected, isn’t he?

LoweredPeninsula August 22, 2009 at 12:33 am

Any check out his wife. Rand’s got himself a good Stepford Wife.

Dr. Barry M Enema August 22, 2009 at 4:40 pm

Ron Paul gave his son a woman’s name, for chrissake. Why didn’t he just name him “Mrs.” Paul? No telling how many extra playground beatings the younger Paul would have been on the short end of.

‘Course, “Ayn” Paul can at least campaign as Ayn “The Fountain Pen” Paul — making campaign pledges not to spare the ink when it comes to eliminating entitlements programs or signing over state funds to bail out shareholders at state-chartered banks and S&Ls. He’d even save the Kentucky Derby if need be. I mean, where else are rich white men in rich white suits allowed to vomit on their shoes while downing bourbon by the case?

Dr. Barry M Enema August 22, 2009 at 5:14 pm

Oh! Ayn “Atlas Mugged” Rand’s running for the US senate and not KY Governor? Dr. Enema regrets the error.

By the way, just what is a “proper” blimp, anyway? Does it have a giant cartoon of “beagle-ish” Ayn Paul at the cockpit of a dog house in a WWI flying helmet?

And won’t Paul be sending the wrong campaign message to other Senate candidates? I mean, the thought of up to 100 blimps over American air space is kinda scary. Can NORAD even detect multiple blimps without letting one plow into the Pentagon?

Hmmm? I wonder.

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