• February 15, 2012

Not porny enough.Neocon porn pamphlet The Washington Post has a fancy new cybersolution that will aid closeted Obamatards in getting their daily fix of presidential “activities.” The sexy POTUS Tracker lets you see what President Obama’s schedule is, every day, and for a small subscription fee they will send you his dirty briefs once a month and grant you access to an exclusive web cam in the Lincoln Bedroom. “Use our interactive database to track how Obama is spending his time, what issues are getting the most attention and who is influencing the debate,” they say. This is all well and good, but why is there no mention of potty breaks in any of their fancy charts? [POTUS Tracker]

{ 28 comments }

memzilla August 24, 2009 at 11:24 am

Recommendation: pay the extra 1.99 for the “Where The White Wimmen At?” iPhone app.

freakishlystrong August 24, 2009 at 11:33 am

FAIL. No smokey-treat breaks…

hobospacejunkie August 24, 2009 at 11:35 am

Does Granny Robinson mix her potions and cast her spells in the Lincoln bedroom? Because the extra $$ to see that would be totally worth it.

yargisbargis August 24, 2009 at 11:37 am

No need for potty breaks. He’s like Mike Mulligan and his steam shovel.

El Pinche August 24, 2009 at 11:38 am

He needs to break down HC to include “Suckin up to Republicans.” That’s right . I said it.

Uncertainty Vice-Principal August 24, 2009 at 11:40 am

I’d love to see one of those graphics about the Washington Post.

It would be one large box labeled “Right wing Neoconservative ranting” with small labels reading “Krauthammer, Gerson, Kagan, Hiatt, Samuelson” and on and on, with a special box in the middle a different shade of crazy for George Will. And then some little fringe boxes here and there for Ezra Klein and Eugene Robinson and so on, along the edges. And one missing where Froomkin used to be, like an ice shelf of sanity that broke off the drowning Antarctic continent of right wing idiocy.

shadowMark August 24, 2009 at 11:42 am

Sexist. How does Michelle spend her time? Is she jotting down notes for a business plan for when she and Hillary open a “Candles & Quilts” store together when their husbands get out of politics?

Lascauxcaveman August 24, 2009 at 11:43 am

This would only be fun for me if they synced it with a simultaneous day-to-day timeline of what his predecessor was doing four years ago, and eight, for that matter.

Uncertainty Vice-Principal August 24, 2009 at 11:50 am

[re=393462]Lascauxcaveman[/re]:

This would only be fun for me if they synced it with a simultaneous day-to-day timeline of what his predecessor was doing four years ago, and eight, for that matter.

They may have tried, and then decided that “Clearing brush” written over and over was a little repetitive to make an interesting graphic.

lulzmonger August 24, 2009 at 11:54 am

Agree with the alt-text: WaP0rn is indeed not nearly porny enough – they may as well follow Murdoch’s lead & put in a Page Three Girl. Hell, let HER do an op-ed, it’d surely raise the caliber of their rag.

Come here a minute August 24, 2009 at 11:55 am

[re=393462]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Today would fall right around eight years after, “All right. You’ve covered your ass, now.”

the problem child August 24, 2009 at 11:57 am

Where is all the time blocked off for reading to small children, about goats and Rahm Emmanuel?

gurukalehuru August 24, 2009 at 11:59 am

Tentative titles” “Meet The Obamas,” “Barry Knows Best” or “The West W…oh, no wait, that one’s been done.

Johnny Zhivago August 24, 2009 at 12:03 pm

This can’t be right, since there is no mention at all of any socialization and nazification programs.

Darkness August 24, 2009 at 12:08 pm

I’m assuming it was decided that there was no point in doing this for the last administration since it would just be one big box labelled: clear brush and/or show ass to kiss-up reporters from atop mountain bike seat.

Uncertainty Vice-Principal August 24, 2009 at 12:09 pm

[re=393484]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: Those are on the long form of the schedule. And no, we won’t release it.

thefrontpage August 24, 2009 at 12:11 pm

Uh, the president’s schedule is released every day by the White House, and his activities are covered by the press every day–including weekends. Additionally, all of the president’s activities every day are public record, and, as noted, published every day by the White House. So why on earth is this waste of time even needed? Just go to the White House web site, and you can easily find his daily scheduled. And then read some newspapers–actual, real newspapers–and you can actually read news stories about his daily schedule! We don’t need any ridiculous web site bells and whistles–what a waste of time. So the Post is losing money, readers, ads, circulation and subscriptions–and this is what it does?

gurukalehuru August 24, 2009 at 12:12 pm

206 views, 14 comments, and 1 tweet, which I suspect is from Sarah.
1 lonely, lonely tweet.

Holding Out for a Hero August 24, 2009 at 12:17 pm

Where’s the development time for the death panels?

ante meridiem August 24, 2009 at 12:40 pm

Does it include the real-time results of Jake Tapper‘s cigarette-smoke-detecting Obama-sniffs?

Humpback August 24, 2009 at 12:42 pm

Alex, I’ll take Social Issues for $400, please.

AKAM80TheWolf August 24, 2009 at 12:56 pm

A grave omission, there is no allocation for sexytime.

Hooray For Anything August 24, 2009 at 1:20 pm

[re=393539]AKAM80TheWolf[/re]: Nor bathroom breaks

AKAM80TheWolf August 24, 2009 at 1:35 pm

[re=393554]Hooray For Anything[/re]:

Yeah, it’s right there, “Health Care” ;)

I’m not saying he’s sh*tting on the Pubic Option, but it’s not moving in the direction I’d like.

TGY August 24, 2009 at 1:53 pm

Where is the Michelle Sexy-Time box?

Roll Fish August 24, 2009 at 2:24 pm

What the hell is this tweet thing? Has Chuck Grassley joined the staff of Wonkette?

nosnikreplliw August 24, 2009 at 2:36 pm

i love that alzheimer’s ad

thefrontpage August 24, 2009 at 2:37 pm

Tweet is the sound that a bird makes–a very small, pea-brained, insignificant bird desperate for attention.

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