• February 15, 2012

Oh hello, and Willkommen to TomDeLay.com, the number #1 Internet spot for exciting behind-the-scenes DANCE PIXX of fat ghost Tom DeLay adjusting the elastic on his swishy-pant waistband—a task which his dance partner would have helped with, had her batteries not died. Sad. [via Daily Intel]

{ 62 comments }

Johnny Zhivago September 16, 2009 at 7:10 pm

When Tom Delay promotes his Twitter you know it’s become a worthless piece of shit.

Katydid September 16, 2009 at 7:12 pm

OK, I read this pic in an entirely different way. I don’t think I’ll be the only one, judging by the average Wonketeer.

Or maybe it’s just me.

Numbat Dundee September 16, 2009 at 7:12 pm

If you’re dancing with delay you ain’t got no sense of rhythm.

dementor September 16, 2009 at 7:13 pm

Twittering with Tom and Dancing with Delay.
Say it loud and there’s music playing,
Say it soft and it’s almost like praying.

GreatOldOnesParty September 16, 2009 at 7:16 pm
rocktonsammy September 16, 2009 at 7:16 pm

I hope his partner has every orifice plug so none of this scumbags jizz leaks through.

A heart attack during the tango would be a huge ratings getter.

Let us pray…

Snarkalicious September 16, 2009 at 7:16 pm

Dancers and their ilk are so expressive, so honest in their movements. Now we know exactly the kind of expressions and poses struck by Delay’s hookers when he’s not looking. But art knows no bounds, and here they are, showing him to his face. Bold, refreshing, also.

Min September 16, 2009 at 7:16 pm

I have never watched Dancing with the Stars, and I won’t start now. However, Tom may already be down for the count. I just found this in a Baltimore Sun blog:

One of the most intriguing contestants, former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay, got a “pre-stress fracture” while practicing for the ABC show this week.

Athar September 16, 2009 at 7:17 pm

Just being around a source of that much excessive, concentrated evil drains the life force from ordinary human beings. The effect, they tell me, is kind of like the machine used by those ugly, vulture like beings who ruled everything in that puppet movie “The Dark Crystal.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzgVPB5dpgg

GreatOldOnesParty September 16, 2009 at 7:17 pm

it’s just that the girl in the middle looks awfully worn out and DeLay’s already unzipping his pants for the next one.

GreatOldOnesParty September 16, 2009 at 7:20 pm

why didn’t i think of this before.

http://cheezburger.com/view.aspx?ciid=5240897

maven September 16, 2009 at 7:25 pm

If that were a young male senate page in the picture, we’d know exactly what was about to happen next.

EdFlinstone September 16, 2009 at 7:25 pm

So obviously Cheryl Burke drew the short straw.

Extemporanus September 16, 2009 at 7:32 pm

Nobody puts DeLay in a corner!

(Too soon?..)

Crank Tango September 16, 2009 at 7:35 pm

[re=412728]Min[/re]: he’s a republican–isn’t being physically fit a sign of weakness to them?

widget09 September 16, 2009 at 7:38 pm

Someone should sneak up from behind that bastard and give him an atomic wedgee.

shortsshortsshorts September 16, 2009 at 7:38 pm

He is literally bending that girl over with his mind.

AxmxZ September 16, 2009 at 7:45 pm

“Oh man, incestuous public buttseks again? *SIGH* *sag*”

Extemporanus September 16, 2009 at 7:48 pm

[re=412726]rocktonsammy[/re]: A jizz-infused Argentine tango is Mark Sanford’s forte.

When picturing Tom DeLay dancing, “Whiskey Tango Foxtrot” comes more readily to mind.

Suds McKenzie September 16, 2009 at 7:54 pm

[re=412726]rocktonsammy[/re]: Messy.

assistant/atlas September 16, 2009 at 7:58 pm

[re=412726]rocktonsammy[/re]: If you could pray for ratings, Hollywood wouldn’t be full of godless heathens.

Nigerian Business Executive September 16, 2009 at 8:02 pm

If I had gone through all the auditions, interviews, sucking up, sucking off, and the rest of the degradation to get onto this show only to be informed that Delay was my assigned partner, I’d probably gnaw my own leg off.

chascates September 16, 2009 at 8:08 pm

It’s time Tom was dancing to the Jailhouse Rock.

Extemporanus September 16, 2009 at 8:16 pm

[re=412721]Numbat Dundee[/re]: To be fair, he was born a poor black child.

EdFlinstone September 16, 2009 at 8:16 pm

Man that picture is seriously creepy.

hobospacejunkie September 16, 2009 at 8:17 pm

How many times does the very, very short little bugmaster freakshow Delay excuse himself to go rub one off in the mens room during dance practice? Answer: not as many times as he would were his dance partners prepubescent catholic altar boys.

Carl Spakler September 16, 2009 at 8:30 pm

There’s just something so Republican/C-St/Pervert about this whole scene; between the gal with the tousled hair, the one bending over the counter with a ‘here-it-comes-again’ look and Delay fucking with his jogging pants and that little shit-eating grin. It’s like a human Cialis ad.

the problem child September 16, 2009 at 8:37 pm

Poor old pathetic guy is pathetic. We all know that he was hoping his partner, as a professional dancer, would be built like a boy.

doxastic September 16, 2009 at 8:38 pm

While Julie had gotten used to Tom’s furious post-dance masturbation, Nancy did not look away soon enough and beheld with horror the “ball peen hammer.”

travellabyrinth September 16, 2009 at 8:45 pm

Nice way to defuse the impact of picture of you and Sara Palin taking advantage of some drugged housekeeper, Tom. Hide it in plain sight.

ifthethunderdontgetya" September 16, 2009 at 9:04 pm

So that’s why they call it “delousing”.
~

Lionel Hutz Esq. September 16, 2009 at 9:11 pm

I heard that Delay agreed to this when he was promised that his first dance will be the “Wide Step.”

drpangloss September 16, 2009 at 9:23 pm

“hey ladies, hottub Tom is ready to partey!” “as in livin la vida loca” sort like a dorky more greasy version of Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Also.

Carl Spakler September 16, 2009 at 9:23 pm

AAAAARGHGH!!! Olbermann just showed clips of this dancing abortion…DAMN MY EYES FOR LOOKING!!!!!

Smoke Filled Roommate September 16, 2009 at 9:39 pm

It reminds me of a weird sober fannypack (e.g. Republican) version of Harvey Keitel’s PeePee Dance scene in Bad Lieutenant.

Smoke Filled Roommate September 16, 2009 at 9:42 pm

[re=412818]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: i.e. dammit. i.e.

Go Figure September 16, 2009 at 9:53 pm

Really how effing low will they go?

Dancing with the Douchebag

Yish!

swayzeland September 16, 2009 at 10:09 pm

“I want to put my sickness inside you, ’cause I bet your tanned arsehole looks a lot like Boehner’s.”

Mr Blifil September 16, 2009 at 10:13 pm

How is he able to move without the puppet strings attached?

SayItWithWookies September 16, 2009 at 10:24 pm

The lady on the right is thinking, “You look like my old high school gym teacher — the one they arrested.”

Jukesgrrl September 16, 2009 at 10:28 pm

My elderly mother saw a clip of him dancing on TV tonight and said, totally without irony, “I didn’t know that guy was gay.”

Jumping Jim September 16, 2009 at 10:35 pm

He’s just so used to reaming America’s ass, he automatically reaches for his pants anytime someone even thinks about bending over.

dmdlnt September 16, 2009 at 10:42 pm

He must have tens of fans (or 1 million, if you ask Glen Beck) watching him through the window — check the reflection. That makes this even more creepy!

Lionel Hutz Esq. September 16, 2009 at 10:43 pm

[re=412846]SayItWithWookies[/re]: So, she knows it is Tom Delay?

Better American Than You September 16, 2009 at 10:53 pm

Tom Delay:
Old Meaty
Toy Me, Lad
Eat My Old…

Dreamer September 16, 2009 at 10:54 pm

I cannot stand that ugly sociopath. The poor dancer must throw up every day. How can she bare that slob touching her.

Yellow Dogge September 16, 2009 at 10:55 pm

Umm…just watched Olbermann. Is it just me, or did Tom seem a bit, uh, limp-wristed? Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Better American Than You September 16, 2009 at 11:07 pm

[re=412864]Yellow Dogge[/re]: He’s always seem a bit prissy, a Brokeback Mitch McConnell or Lindsey Graham.

El Pinche September 16, 2009 at 11:11 pm

Now there’s a man in desperate need of a death panel.

Justin Time September 16, 2009 at 11:49 pm

Questions: what ever happened to Delay’s legal troubles back in Texas? Were the charges dropped?
Is there a trial looming in the near future? Or has he danced past his legal situation?

artbot2000 September 16, 2009 at 11:50 pm

[re=412728]Min[/re]:

So what did he break? On the evidence of that photo, it couldn’t be his hair.

zhubajie September 17, 2009 at 1:03 am

I thought DeLay was the kind of Xtn Fundie who won’t f*ck standing up because G*d might see and think he was d*ncing!

lulzmonger September 17, 2009 at 3:56 am

Lemon Party, Goatse, death-scenes, you name it … NOTHING I’ve seen on the Interwebs has scarred me the way an extreme close-up of this guy’s face did about four years ago. I thought maybe I’d finally gotten over it, but this just brought it all back, like a reeeeeeeeally bad acid-trip.

Thanks, Wonkette!

lawrenceofthedesert September 17, 2009 at 5:55 am

When out of power, he dances foolishly. It’s perhaps a much more viable alternative than race baiting, incessant Tweeting (is there any other kind?), requests for birth certificates, or widespread teabaggishness. In fact, this action of Tommy’s may be the most sensible that I’ve yet witnessed; has powerlessness kick-started his rationality, as it does in 12 Step programs? If so, he will soon realize what an embarrassing jerk he is and quietly retire. If not, he will continue to flounce, if we’re lucky, instead of helping to stir the wingnut fecal stew.

jasper f. krone September 17, 2009 at 7:37 am

[re=412728]Min[/re]: pre-stress fracture? Did he break something merely by anticipating dancing?

TGY September 17, 2009 at 8:33 am

Tom Delay was injured during rehearsal for DWTS. Poetic justice. Stress fracture in the foot, or so he says.

Sorry, Tom, no dance for you!

Liebestod September 17, 2009 at 8:35 am

there is nothing more unsexier than watching a sexually retarded middle-aged white man tango.

PinkyTuscadero September 17, 2009 at 8:52 am

Fat ghost. Comedy, like poetry, is not so much about exploring the far reaches of a language as it is about making us see the sublime in the ordinary. Fat ghost.

BeWoot September 17, 2009 at 10:12 am

I’m looking forward to de humiliation of Delay. But I do feel sorry for Cheryl, even though I’m proud of her for breaking his foot.

Potater September 17, 2009 at 10:41 am

Screw Delay, I wanna see Jimmy Carter on “Dancing.”

He would only dance with the pretty lady from 5 inches away to prevent “lust in his heart” and then would totally spazz out when he has to do the bunny hop.

Gayer Than Thou September 17, 2009 at 1:47 pm

[re=412738]EdFlinstone[/re]: She’s been a solid, reliable performer for DWTS. Nonetheless, they must really hate her if she got stuck with him.

zhubajie September 19, 2009 at 1:28 am

[re=413010]Potater[/re]: No, don’t screw DeLay, he might enjoy it!

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: