• February 14, 2012
NATION OF FANCY BOOKS

The Return Of American Literacy

by Jim Newell

4:20 pm September 30, 2009

AN UPDATE. And yet, tragically, an actual real book called End the Fed by the Honorable Dr. Congressman Ron Paul weeps in the #8 position. [Amazon]

{ 76 comments }

MattW September 30, 2009 at 4:23 pm

Hooray, Sarah Palin moved from #3 to #2 since 11 this morning!

Buzz Feedback September 30, 2009 at 4:24 pm

We’re doomed.

Magog September 30, 2009 at 4:26 pm

CNN is reporting that she’s now in the #1 spot.

Min September 30, 2009 at 4:26 pm

I blame Jon Stewart. He had Ron Paul on last night to tout the new book.

Bennett September 30, 2009 at 4:27 pm

Isn’t it weird how most book readers in this country are vehemently right-wing?

Serolf Divad September 30, 2009 at 4:28 pm

Sorry guys, it’s always been thus.

hobospacejunkie September 30, 2009 at 4:29 pm

I see Regnery’s shopbots have been active buying copies of Snowcunt’s yet to be published toilet tissue collection, to be given out free at upcoming klan rallies.

Scarab September 30, 2009 at 4:30 pm

Suck it Libtards, the people have spoken! Talent will always rise in a free market!
In a completely unrelated topic, Miley Cyrus is at the top of the iTunes sales chart.

JMP September 30, 2009 at 4:30 pm

And I see the crazy paranoid survivalist manual is still at #4, too.

But we may not all be doomed. Look down to 21 & 22 – the atheist is now beating god. And moving up, while god’s getting less popular. Take that, Christians!

CivicHoliday September 30, 2009 at 4:32 pm

Is this the thanks we get for using the library? Being underrepresented in sociological consumerism-based assessments of reading habits?

Click September 30, 2009 at 4:32 pm

From the Amazon forums (yes, it exists):
“I must say, everyone in my small circle is pre ordering this book….Madame President is such a refreshing wind…..may she blow away the corruption and the socialism that is strangling our nation…”

RoscoePColtraine September 30, 2009 at 4:33 pm

I blame the libs. Admit it, YOU CAN’T WAIT TO GET YOUR HANDS ON HER BOOK!!!!

dum librul September 30, 2009 at 4:33 pm

[re=423719]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Was that inspired by my previous post or am I just completely redundant here?

Jim Demintia September 30, 2009 at 4:34 pm

Man, what’s really frightening is the wingnuts’ ability to move in an absolute lockstep of idiocy. Should we be worried about that coup after all?

Liebestod September 30, 2009 at 4:37 pm

How long will ti take for Sarah Palin to show up at one of those gun shows with a truck full of her books? Also.

SayItWithWookies September 30, 2009 at 4:38 pm

[re=423730]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: True, but only because I want to see if there’s a diagrammable sentence in it.

V572625694 September 30, 2009 at 4:39 pm

[re=423732]Jim Demintia[/re]: Don’t worry about the military. They’ve got more than their share of wingnuts, to be sure, but nobody lets ‘em be in charge of anything.

Sharkey September 30, 2009 at 4:40 pm

[re=423727]Click[/re]: Also, did you know this book is going to cause liberal heads to explode? If somebody wrote it in a forum, it must be true.

RoscoePColtraine September 30, 2009 at 4:40 pm

[re=423743]SayItWithWookies[/re]: The longer we laugh, the longer she stays #1 on Amazon. Oh, what the hell, laughing at her is too goddam fun.

shadowMark September 30, 2009 at 4:41 pm

I don’t want to sound pedantic but writing is all about the bags of dicks.

jodyleek September 30, 2009 at 4:43 pm

[re=423727]Click[/re]: Jesus on a dinosaur, I am so sick of these people! I swear to god that when the 2012 election rolls around, I am going to vote for that sickening simpleton Sarah Dipshit on my way to my new home in Canada. Then, while I am receiving my single payer health benefits, I will turn toward the south and watch the implosion.

dum librul September 30, 2009 at 4:43 pm

Having a ghost writer means there won’t even be any fun in having Shatner read passages from it on Conan. This thing is completely useless.

teebob2000 September 30, 2009 at 4:51 pm

Hey, everybody, let’s go play in the discussion forums for her book. There’s lots of active wingnuttery to mess with there!

Click September 30, 2009 at 4:55 pm

[re=423748]Sharkey[/re]: “If somebody wrote it in a forum, it must be true.”
I’m just going to let that one simmer a bit for greater digestibility.

Click September 30, 2009 at 4:56 pm

[re=423757]jodyleek[/re]: I hear British Columbia is lovely this time of the Apocalypse.

Downtheroadapiece September 30, 2009 at 4:58 pm

Anyone got ideas as to how we can get Ron Paul’s book in to Oprah’s book club? That would be fun.

glamourdammerung September 30, 2009 at 5:01 pm

[re=423715]Bennett[/re]: Isn’t it weird how most book readers in this country are vehemently right-wing?

Actually, the fact that most of them are not readers is what makes this weird.

Downtheroadapiece September 30, 2009 at 5:01 pm

I am tempted to cross reference those who comment about Beck’s and Mooselini’s books with those who comment on the survivalist book. I have a sneaking suspicion there’s a strong correlation there.

glamourdammerung September 30, 2009 at 5:02 pm

[re=423791]Downtheroadapiece[/re]: Do not tell Ron that Oprah is black and do not tell Oprah anything about Ron Paul for starters.

grendel September 30, 2009 at 5:07 pm

Only old people read paper books, the end.

RoscoePColtraine September 30, 2009 at 5:16 pm

Is this how the failed authors and musicians take comfort? By realizing once again that to succeed is to be shit.

JSDC007 September 30, 2009 at 5:17 pm

Glenn Beck has read Thomas Paine and Sarah Palin has written a book.

And BatBoy on the Weekly World News was seen at my Quiznos.

magic titty September 30, 2009 at 5:19 pm

[re=423715]Bennett[/re]: Right wingers stocking up on books for retards? This is bad how?

[re=423818]grendel[/re]: Lie.

user-of-owls September 30, 2009 at 5:30 pm

Is it true that the publisher’s lawyers have advised them not to release this book in an electronic version after initial tests indicated that the devices onto which those e-versions were loaded had a 93% suicide rate?

sezme September 30, 2009 at 5:39 pm

Where the Wild Things Are is the only serious work of literature on this list. Geez!

Click September 30, 2009 at 5:42 pm

So in 20 years or so (should the Earth still be inhabitable), which branch of the family tree do you suppose Tripp (product of Levi’s genes) will be rooting for when it comes time to write his memoirs?
Hmmmm…”Tripp-ing the Rift” is a sort of a catchy title.

Josh Fruhlinger September 30, 2009 at 5:46 pm

Wait, where’s Denby’s book?

Click September 30, 2009 at 5:46 pm

[re=423865]sezme[/re]: And a far more entertaining and sophisticated depiction of fantastical and non-existent creatures than those you’ll find in Palin’s book.

CaiteeCruelle September 30, 2009 at 5:48 pm

[re=423842]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Hell, yes.

RoscoePColtraine September 30, 2009 at 6:02 pm

[re=423882]CaiteeCruelle[/re]: Good, then I’ll take the mediocrity, what with all the heated swimming pools and servants and beautiful people dying to fuck you.

MS September 30, 2009 at 6:12 pm

Empress of Alaska Sarah Palin’s new book about mooseburgers < Levi Johnston’s descent into (PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE) “teh gay pr0ns.”

glamourdammerung September 30, 2009 at 6:15 pm

Let me put it this way, look at the teabagger signs then tell me how often you feel that crowd reads.

AbstinenceOnly Ed September 30, 2009 at 6:17 pm

Amazon’s Jeff Bezos is the world’s richest Regnery shopbot, and has personally dipped his widget in the dusty crevasses of both Danielle Steele’s and Anne Rice’s withered loins.

Potater September 30, 2009 at 6:25 pm

Wingnuts buy these books so they can display them in their Wal*Mart® book cases to their other wingnut friends. They never actually read the damn things, but they grab their buzzwords from the dust jackets so it’ll SEEM like they’ve read them.

grevillea September 30, 2009 at 6:47 pm

So much freedumb. But true enough, none of it’s free.

BeWoot September 30, 2009 at 7:07 pm

[re=423715]Bennett[/re]: Just because these people buy books doesn’t mean they actually read them. (I recently gifted the local library with an old but almost untouched first edition of Ancient Evenings.) The mouth-breathing tea-kluxer crowd just hold the books and suck the sickness into their souls. I only pray they won’t be Left Behind.

BeWoot September 30, 2009 at 7:09 pm

[re=423908]AbstinenceOnly Ed[/re]: Zing!

Neilist September 30, 2009 at 7:33 pm

I have an enormous conceptual “disconnect,” triggered by calling these sorts of things “books.”

leftcoaster September 30, 2009 at 7:47 pm

…and she’s at #1.

A snowbilly’s musings, paper tv, the rantings of a dangerous idiot and disaster porn.

Jukesgrrl September 30, 2009 at 7:56 pm

[re=423905]glamourdammerung[/re]: Bingo!

chascates September 30, 2009 at 8:00 pm

Now number one. For a book that hasn’t been published. For an ‘author’ who is minimally literate. For an audience that is barely literate.

DoctorCulturae September 30, 2009 at 8:10 pm

[re=423993]chascates[/re]: Can this be the beginning of some collective realization that #1 in publishing may not be a good thing?

Naaa!

Evil Dr. Puma September 30, 2009 at 8:12 pm

Weep for the trees.

Click September 30, 2009 at 8:18 pm

[re=423993]chascates[/re]: A societal fail of Amazonian proportions.

AutomaticPilot September 30, 2009 at 8:35 pm

Can skoalrebel be far behind?

Guppy06 September 30, 2009 at 8:49 pm

[re=423993]chascates[/re]: She’s not minimally literate, she’s read lots of books! All of them!

stumpycuse September 30, 2009 at 8:53 pm

upon further review, “Goin’ Rogue” (or “Going Rouge” as it is more aptly named) is actually just “Atlas Shrugged” but with a different jacket cover. Of course, wingnuts haven’t actually read that book either, but they will continue to pretend that they have.

ElRat September 30, 2009 at 8:54 pm

When did she learn to write? … gosh darn doncha know.

shadowMark September 30, 2009 at 8:55 pm

[re=424010]AutomaticPilot[/re]:

“The Grendel Concubine”

A novel of international intrigue and psychological horror

by SkoalRebel, as told to Meghan McCain

rocktonsammy September 30, 2009 at 8:58 pm

Hopefully Hannah Montana will write a book.

Click September 30, 2009 at 9:14 pm

[re=424030]rocktonsammy[/re]: Done. “Miles to Go.” (Published under the pen name Miley Cyrus).

Sgt. Lincoln Osiris September 30, 2009 at 9:29 pm

I hear in Chapter 4 you find out how babby is formed.

Guppy06 September 30, 2009 at 9:39 pm

[re=424047]Sgt. Lincoln Osiris[/re]: But she only covers one way of how babby is not made.

Darkness September 30, 2009 at 10:00 pm

I never thought I’d say it, but I hope Dapper Half-Illiterate Dan holds onto the top spot there.

Click September 30, 2009 at 10:07 pm

[re=424072]Darkness[/re]: Too late.

CARCUNTZ!(tm)-R-Us September 30, 2009 at 10:07 pm

“Arguing with Idiots: How to Stop Small Minds and Big Government” Well, Glen Beck would certainly an authoritative source on this.

CARCUNTZ!(tm)-R-Us September 30, 2009 at 10:19 pm

The paper used in her book was personally harvested by Sarah herself from the ancient trees of the rain forests of Alaska. You betcha!

The limited autographed edition is printed on parchment made from the skin of baby seals that were clubbed to death by Todd.

Hunger Tallest Palin October 1, 2009 at 12:00 am

Three books by three bombastic, incoherent, no-talent egomaniacs.
I kan haz Apocalypse naow, plz?

One Yield Regular October 1, 2009 at 4:30 am

I still have a copy of a NY Times bestseller list from several years ago that has John Grisham and Michael Crichton books alternating all the way from position #1 to position #10. I hadn’t thought it possible for the country to actually become MORE illiterate than that.

zhubajie October 1, 2009 at 5:32 am

[re=423715]Bennett[/re]: Buyers aren’t necessarily readers.

FMA October 1, 2009 at 8:50 am

OK, one last shot at Dan Brown. A friend read one of his early books and found this passage: He could count on one hand the number of people he killed. The first one was hard, the next six were easy.

vladster October 1, 2009 at 8:56 am

Hey Ron, stay out of the meth barn dude. It hurts your brain.

mardam422 October 1, 2009 at 9:16 am

40%. Over/under on the number of those books that actually get read all the way through.

20%. Over/under on the number of those books that never get opened further than the autographed jacket.

I’m taking bets.

PabaBritannica October 1, 2009 at 12:19 pm

Behold, for I have possibly read one chapter in Glendon Beckforth’s newest tome!

It was about how basically every President since Roosevelt the Older was a dictator and Bill Clinton’s accomplishments included getting blown, getting blown, and being an idiot who needs to be argued with.

PabaBritannica October 1, 2009 at 12:23 pm

Wonkette it is imperative that you watch this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WnvYAbRMw5g

Avetre October 14, 2009 at 8:48 pm

Glen, hon, there are medications that can make it so you stop arguing with yourself.

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