• February 15, 2012

The brilliant political humans at National Review‘s The Corner — the #1 Internet blog — are cold slappin’ high-fives and chuggin’ jars of Elmer’s glue because they are just so happy that the American president was unable to bring the biggest sporting event on earth, and a boon to the local economy of Chicago, to America. Thanks for trying, Obama — NOT. Get it?? Ha ha ha! Fuck you Obama you fuck! STIMULUS — FAIL. OLYMPICS — FAIL. HEALTH CARE — GAY. RACISM — FAIL. RUSSIA — FAIL. IRAN — FAIL. ENERGY — WORTHLESS. (Oh btw, Rio won. Congrats Rio!) [The Corner]

{ 71 comments }

blinky_twinkie October 2, 2009 at 12:55 pm

They’re *so* running out of things to ^5 each other about. Lewzers.

Click October 2, 2009 at 12:56 pm

Okay Jim did you correct ‘because’ or was I temporarily dyslexic? I need to know.

Tommmcatt October 2, 2009 at 12:57 pm

Yeah, thanks a lot Jim. I was on day 50 of “not going to The Corner and having a ragegasm”. Now I gotta call my sponsor and get back on the wagon.

In America, The Corner reads you.

rambone October 2, 2009 at 12:59 pm

It appears that the righties have adopted the Ben Tre Logic to saving our country.

obfuscator October 2, 2009 at 1:00 pm

this reads like a group of 8 year olds recycling and snowballing the same unfunny half-joke in a profoundly ghey loop of comedy fail.

memzilla October 2, 2009 at 1:01 pm

Although not enough that I could stand to listen to Peter Allen singing “I Go To Rio,” I do take comfort in the fact that Jonah Goldberg can still win the gold medal for Douchbaggery.

El Pinche October 2, 2009 at 1:01 pm

YAY!!!! AMERICA FAILS!!!!!

user-of-owls October 2, 2009 at 1:01 pm

I’m sure these smirking pustules, and their hairier-knuckled counterparts at Drudge & Estado Rojo, are enjoying the start of a three-day weekend, since they already had everything written in advance:

“Evil Obama GOT the Fuckin’ Olympics”
“Evil Obama LOST the Fuckin’ Olympics”

Just tell the secretary to plug the appropriate one in after the announcement and jet off to happy hour at Elmer’s Glue Bar.

El Pinche October 2, 2009 at 1:03 pm

You know… one could get angry at these folks. But it’s like getting angry at Trig for drooling all over your pancakes. Retarded Americans don’t know any better.

4tehlulz October 2, 2009 at 1:03 pm

We know you hate America guys; you can stop trying so hard now.

shadowMark October 2, 2009 at 1:03 pm

Tokyo was eliminated in the second round. Cool. Now all of us Chicago guys who dress like cliche images of Al Capone can go out tonight and get drunk with Japanese women who dress like school girls. Win.

SayItWithWookies October 2, 2009 at 1:03 pm

Wow. Just imagine their glee if America goes to shit. Oh, wait.

magic titty October 2, 2009 at 1:06 pm

K-Lo’s just pissy because there’s no belly-flop competition.

pampl October 2, 2009 at 1:06 pm

just like obamitler to try to get the socialized new world olympics. maybe he should have had rezko and ayers and ACORN lobby on behalf of chicago, that would have pleased the ineffective pedophiles in the international community. furthermore, birth certificate.

seriouscat October 2, 2009 at 1:06 pm

America failed? Yes!! Now we can take the country back from the radical leftists and enact our fool proof plan to pray-to-Jesus-and-condem-gays our way out of the shitter! High five, guys!

Cape Clod October 2, 2009 at 1:06 pm

Wait a minute! How is Rio going to host the Summer Olympics when it’s winter there in the summer?

WadISay October 2, 2009 at 1:06 pm

Really, if Obama was trying to save a box full of newborn kittens from being chainsawed by Freddie Kreuger, these guys would root for Freddie Kreuger.

hobospacejunkie October 2, 2009 at 1:06 pm

I love bashing The Corner as much as that Glanton perv claimed to be a lefty, but does anyone but Mr. Newell even read The Corner anymore? Last we checked they had so much time on their hands they were personally calling potential subscribers to beg for money. It seems they are suffering there own little holocaust.

Gopherit October 2, 2009 at 1:06 pm

Hey, they’d be outraged if there was a 5 meter cheeto relay.

Click October 2, 2009 at 1:07 pm

I’d barely gotten over Obama’s merciless treatment of retarded Olympians – and now THIS?

The Cold Sea October 2, 2009 at 1:09 pm

I always knew Republicans hate America.

memzilla October 2, 2009 at 1:09 pm

In honor of Rio winning the Olympics, we should change the Newell Internet Meme.

Example: “Jonah Goldberg should eat a bag of lightly salted poison capybara dicks.”

PerhapsSo October 2, 2009 at 1:10 pm

WaPo is right there with them: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/10/02/AR2009100202779.html. They originally had the headline as “stunning defeat,” but they appear to have changed it. Yes, so stunning that the frontrunner won!

Canmon (the Inadequate) October 2, 2009 at 1:11 pm

At least no one is talking about the horrendous jobs report.

user-of-owls October 2, 2009 at 1:12 pm

[re=425631]Cape Clod[/re]: They’re going to make the synchronized swimmers swirl the opposite way.

Click October 2, 2009 at 1:12 pm

[re=425641]PerhapsSo[/re]: Cunts.

PabaBritannica October 2, 2009 at 1:13 pm

[re=425633]hobospacejunkie[/re]: I’m about 99% sure that they ranked behind blogs like LewRockwell.com and The Daily Paul, so there you go.

Obama you successfully passed the stimulus of failure and could not get the Olympics! These are both the same sort of failure you failure! Jimmy Carter is better than you because guess what? YOU’RE A FAILURE! mumahahahahahahamagrrrrghamamauchmunchmunchmunch.

AbstinenceOnly Ed October 2, 2009 at 1:14 pm

K-Lo uses ellipses like a fatty pausing for breath. Imagine the chunky turds she would shit out if only Jonah Chodeberg could maintain a chubby for more than 5 parsecs.

BeWoot October 2, 2009 at 1:14 pm

Wonder if skoalrebel is backing his colleagues on this douchefest? He seems like a bit of a sport, so maybe he was hoping NR would send him to cover the games.

proudgrampa October 2, 2009 at 1:16 pm

[re=425632]WadISay[/re]: Well said!

DemmeFatale October 2, 2009 at 1:19 pm

I can’t believe our Hopey spent an ounce of political capital on this crap.
Doesn’t the Olympics eventually drive it’s host cities into debt, anyways?
Please correct me if I’m wrong, sports isn’t my thing(And don’t even get me started on NASA!)

stumpycuse October 2, 2009 at 1:21 pm

can we call them (and Michael Steele) unpatriotic?

Car Ramrod October 2, 2009 at 1:23 pm

[re=425655]DemmeFatale[/re]: LA (1984) and Atlanta (1996) both made money on the Olympics.

Jumping Jim October 2, 2009 at 1:25 pm

Chicago just has corrupt politicians. The IOC has professionals who do corruption. That is their only focus.

Cape Clod October 2, 2009 at 1:26 pm

[re=425646]user-of-owls[/re]: I wonder how many drownings that will cause?

Flanders October 2, 2009 at 1:30 pm

[re=425631]Cape Clod[/re]: clever!

Oldskool October 2, 2009 at 1:30 pm

Wonder how Barry managed to pull off the tsunami and follow up earthquakes with nary a finger pointed at him. He’s a sly one, he is.

sezme October 2, 2009 at 1:31 pm

The brilliant political humans at National Review’s The Corner Humans, JIm? What do you know that I don’t know? Oh right, sorry: satire.

Crank Tango October 2, 2009 at 1:34 pm

There really should be a word for people who rejoice in American failure. Besides “patriot,” I mean.

DustBowlBlues October 2, 2009 at 1:40 pm

So the Olympic committee did the right thing, and gave this to South America. Kind of a snub to Hopey, though. Is the IOC Republics?

geminisunmars October 2, 2009 at 1:42 pm

[re=425655]DemmeFatale[/re]: Salt Lake didn’t do so well – but that was “merely” Winter olympics. I’m still so proud of Denver for turning them down back in the 70s. I don’t get this rah-rah crap either. For sports, nasa either.

Vulpes82 October 2, 2009 at 1:44 pm
geminisunmars October 2, 2009 at 1:45 pm

[re=425631]Cape Clod[/re]: It’s always summer in Rio de Janeiro. I think I see a cable show in its future.

Sharkey October 2, 2009 at 1:49 pm

Can we please just view this as a repudiation of Oprah?

DustBowlBlues October 2, 2009 at 1:51 pm

Will no one ever identify why Rio won? Skimpy bikinis and a president with a seriously fun name. Really, Corner, is it that difficult?

Lulalulalula. Like rooting for Kaca (sp?) in the World Cup. Kacakacaka. Beautiful people with fun names and almost naked ladies on the beach to keep the men folk happy. Duh.

How many minutes until a Winger figures out it was that giant Jesus statue that put God on Rio’s side?

DustBowlBlues October 2, 2009 at 1:57 pm

[re=425665]Jumping Jim[/re]: “Chicago just has corrupt politicians.”

This is a joke, right? Read anything on South America lately? Not to dump on our American friends down south, but I just read a book about Lula and corruption is still a terrible problem in South America. Endemic and hard to eliminate. Like Illinois.

Crank Tango October 2, 2009 at 2:00 pm

[re=425631]Cape Clod[/re]: with lots of rock-hard nipples, I hope. But seriously, that is a really good fucking point.

DustBowlBlues October 2, 2009 at 2:01 pm

[re=425668]Flanders[/re]: Ditto the comment from Clod. Does water flush in the toilets counter clockwise? Because the only country I’ve ever been to that isn’t US, Canadastan, Gay England and snotty France is South Asia, where you don’t really try to figure out the way the squatters work

pat robertsons personal trainer October 2, 2009 at 2:02 pm

this was pretty stupid from the beginning. (1) now that most of us get more than three channels, U.S. ‘Mericans (black ones, no less) again dominate international hoops, and there’s no big bad USSR to fight it out with, no one gives a flying fuck about the olympics–winter or summer. (2) this really was an exercise in corruption as it always is. how else can you explain all these UN-lite types agreeing to salt lake effing city back in ’02, even if it’s “for the skiing”? (bullshit, it’s always for the coke and hoes and the best SLC can offer is subpar meth and multiple wives.) and in this case, who’s really going to win that competition of corruption, chicago or rio? i mean, yes, in this country, Chicago is corrupt, but jeezus, they’re amateurs in the world market. Hopey never stood a chance unless Michelle was bringing drugs and hookers. and besides, have you ever seen a brazilian in person? you will drop you pants.

Jumping Jim October 2, 2009 at 2:08 pm

[re=425717]DustBowlBlues[/re]: I could have elaborated… there are reports of Olympics being bought (see SLC) so I would wonder if anything changed hands to achieve this result, as the IOC has benefited from such things before. Or you could just read what Pat Robertsons personal trainer wrote.

Jukesgrrl October 2, 2009 at 2:13 pm

I certainly hope Obama now has Mayor Daley over a beer barrel with something BIG he wants in return for doing that fool’s errand. If Hopey didn’t learn that tit-for-tat in the Windy City, the tea-baggers will start saying he wasn’t really a community organizer, the University of Chicago transcript is a fake, and he was still in Kenya until about five years ago.

Suds McKenzie October 2, 2009 at 2:13 pm

So, can I still be outraged Hopey went somewhere yesterday. … Fuck it I’m outraged.

nappyduggs October 2, 2009 at 2:16 pm

This is all a part of the bigger picture. The sexy Scientology aliens who are coming to reclaim the Earth will fit in much better in a Carnival-type atmosphere than they would eating cheese- filled fried cheese on the shores of Lake Michigan.

Get ready for a galactic butt probe, you beautiful but syphilitic Brazilians!

glamourdammerung October 2, 2009 at 2:28 pm

So, can we officially point out the GOP hates America and wants it to fail now?

victorferreira October 2, 2009 at 2:29 pm

[re=425717]DustBowlBlues[/re]: Just google José Sarney or Paulo Maluf, if you have the time. God, what a bunch of assholes.

Oh, and I can attest: There were some fucking hot days this winter. Like, upwards of 30ºC (that’s about 86ºF+, for you Celsius hating freaks). And I live in one of the colder cities…

Rotundo October 2, 2009 at 2:57 pm

[re=425787]glamourdammerung[/re]: They worked fervently for it for the past 30 years, most folks are aware of this, but yes, it probably bears repeating. About 30% of the general populace just will not understand or accept this any way in which it is presented. Your modern post-Bush Republican party supporter. Mercifully demographic trends seems to be shrinking the ranks.

JSDC007 October 2, 2009 at 2:57 pm

Kathryn Lopez loves that Chicago didn’t get the Olympics, and she hates having the right to vote as well.

bitchincamaro October 2, 2009 at 3:08 pm

I had Lush Rimjob on the radio at noon; he had just gleefully announced the good news, pronounced Obama unfit to disarm the Iranian nukes, then splooged all over his polished brass mic. What a puddle of pus.

Manos: Hands of Fate October 2, 2009 at 3:09 pm

Ronald Reagan wouldn’t have put up with this shit. He got the LA Olympics by threatening to send in the special forces to take out the wusses at the IOC. My way or the highway mother fuckers — that’s a real ‘merican.

proudgrampa October 2, 2009 at 3:33 pm

[re=425692]Vulpes82[/re]: [re=425701]Sharkey[/re]: Yes. It WAS a repudiation of Oprah.

american mutt October 2, 2009 at 4:02 pm

Isn’t there a Metallica album called, “Kill em all”? Yeah, there is. I like that album.

President Beeblebrox October 2, 2009 at 5:44 pm

We all know that Rio won because they have better-looking trannies than Chicago.

lochnessmonster October 2, 2009 at 5:59 pm

They just wanted an excuse to go to Rio…hmmm do you think Sanford will lead the fact finding mission for the Reps when they need to go during the games??? Brazile is close to Argentina!

elmo October 2, 2009 at 9:49 pm

Should have solicited the support of Blagojevich and left Opra’s big ass home.
The larger than life ego and his annoying “Ursula” look-alike wife earned a big zero.
What a Putz!

bakeneko October 3, 2009 at 12:46 am

Repubs prefer Rio? Really? Simple math:

Way more “Boys Gone Wild” than Chicago…

LowerdPeninsula October 3, 2009 at 2:16 am

[re=425665]Jumping Jim[/re]: “Chicago just has corrupt politicians. The IOC has professionals who do corruption. That is their only focus.”

Truer words have never been spoken. The IOC is a giant racket. As someone else, said, we’d have been better off sending Blago, Rezko, and Daley, and leaving Obama, Michelle, and Oprah, at home. They’d have gotten the job done. The IOC doesn’t respond (kindly or otherwise) to honest folks.

peeno nwar October 3, 2009 at 2:58 am

“Does this mean the IOC is Racist?”

No, it means you are.

Now go back to eating your bag of Shadenfreude-flavored dicks.

fork-wielding maniac October 3, 2009 at 12:51 pm

i was dippin’ a full can of rooster natty cut in front of my web cam when i read this. my lips mouthed the words and juice ran down my chin and into the keyboard. i got fuuukin’. piiissed. auff.

iow, jonah goldberg is a douche.

desertwind October 3, 2009 at 2:48 pm

The wingers just live to dance: Samba! samba! samba!

J October 3, 2009 at 6:30 pm

William Buckley would be spinning in his grave but he’s already been incinerated in the fiery depths of hell.

Long Form Def Certificate October 4, 2009 at 8:34 pm

[re=425859]JSDC007[/re]: Is K-Lo Messican? ‘Cause there are plenty of them in Chicago, & if they are at her next family reunion… Well, she’ll be hanging upside-down, & disembowelled, in a maquiladora outside Juarez. Just another Invalid Letter Dept.

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