• February 15, 2012

Look at this shouty email your Wonkette editor received today! It is about Ron Paul—and not just in the sense that everything written in all-caps is automatically, in some way, technically “about” Ron Paul. This letter is a Reasonable One though, as its author merely requests that everyone “JUST LAY OFF UNTIL HE WINS IN 2012 PLEASE!!!!” After 2012—uhh if Ron Paul allows there to be a 2012!!—you can all just do what you want.

from: <redacted>
to: Juli.Weiner@gmail.com
date: Mon, Oct 19, 2009 at 4:07 PM
subject: YOU DISGUSTING RON PAUL ATTACKER!!!!!

I READ YOUR FILTHY NO GOOD ATTACK ON RON PAUL TODAY.  WHY WOULD YOU
ATTACK THE ONLY MAN WHO CAN SAVE THIS DECLINING COUNTRY???  WELL???
IT MAKES NO SENSE!!!

RON PAUL WILL KEEP OUR KIDS OUT OF HUMAN-IMPLANT RFID CHIPS.  AND HE
WON’T LET US DIE IN WARS FOR ISRAEL!!!  HE WON’T LET US GET AMEROS OR
HAVE MANDATORY NATIONAL ID CARDS OR LET OUR COUNTRY ELITES IN THE CFR
CREATE A NORTH AMERICAN UNION!  I FIND IT SICKENING THAT’D YOU’D
DERIDE OUR NATION’S ONLY VIABLE HOPE!

EXECUTIVE ORDER 6102 IN 1933 NULLIFIED OUR CONSTITUTION AND AMERICA IS
CURRENTLY UNDER MARTIAL LAW AND RON PAUL IS THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN STAND
UP TO THE ELITES AND END THIS SLAVERY AND SAVE OUR COUNTRY AND ITS
PEOPLE SO JUST LAY OFF UNTIL HE WINS IN 2012 PLEASE!!!!

{ 155 comments }

whenPUMAsattack October 19, 2009 at 8:52 pm

wat

couchbound October 19, 2009 at 8:53 pm

I say put the darned kids into the darned RFID chips, and be done with it! Soylent RFID!

wordsmoker October 19, 2009 at 8:55 pm

Man, I need to stop drinking kitty litter-filtered vodka and sending those emails.

Sorry, Julie.

ManchuCandidate October 19, 2009 at 8:55 pm

Hmmmm… Human Implant RFID Chips… Soylenty…

Note to Paultards, King of the Paultards is the same age as my dad. Already seeing my dad start to lose it a little bit here and there, I can only imagine what Paul is like. If you though Walnuts is OLD (and he is) what do you think Ron Paul is going to be? Every day will be creamed corn and DependsTM day at the White House.

Darkness October 19, 2009 at 8:56 pm

Hey, I’ve been to the mall, bucko. We are currently under Material Law. Learn to spell.

mcc October 19, 2009 at 8:57 pm

Wait, wait. “Human-implant RFID chips” (see also: Revelation 13:17-18) AND the Amero/NAU in a single paragraph? Is it possible this one was supposed to be RWM satire?

Oh God it’s impossible to tell the difference between the trolls and the real thing anymore :(

shadowMark October 19, 2009 at 8:57 pm

TODAY WE ARE ALL FILTHY NOGOODNIKS.

sra October 19, 2009 at 8:58 pm

Says Wikipedia:
Executive Order 6102 is an Executive Order signed on April 5, 1933 by U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt “forbidding the Hoarding of Gold Coin, Gold Bullion, and Gold Certificates” by U.S. citizens.

richardwb1 October 19, 2009 at 8:58 pm

If “ron paul is the only one who can… save our country,”
we are truly scrood and doomed.

hobospacejunkie October 19, 2009 at 8:59 pm

What’s he gonna win in 2012? The Great American Bake-Off? And why won’t he let us “get” Ameros? Will that be the next Pig AIDS? Or the next Pig AIDS vaccine? ALL CAPS CONFUSETH ME.

your secret boyfriend October 19, 2009 at 9:00 pm

I call shenanegans – this is simply too delicious to be actual Ron Paul USA communication. This has the taint of Official White House Misinformation all over it. Taint.

Athar October 19, 2009 at 9:01 pm

I guess Ron Paul might be able to, “SAVE OUR COUNTRY,” from all what that feller said he would. Though it don’t seem he can do much at all about his bat-shit crazy followers.

grevillea October 19, 2009 at 9:01 pm

Thank you for your letter to Wonkette. We are always gratified when readers take the time to join the discussion and write in. May I however point out that IT MAKES NO SENSE!!!
Yours faithfully, Letters Editor.

saggyboobedhag October 19, 2009 at 9:02 pm

Everyone knows there is another man who can save this country: Our Lord and Savior Jesus H. Christ! Who, according to the Mayans, will be here December 2012. Get with the program, Redacted.

AnSnarkist October 19, 2009 at 9:03 pm

[re=439160]sra[/re]: Clearly discrimination against alchemists and other alternative scientist (You know, like the ones that say the Earth is 6000 years old).

MS October 19, 2009 at 9:03 pm

Michelle Bachmann? Is that you?

FunkyPalmettoBug October 19, 2009 at 9:04 pm

That crazy Larry Kudlow, who will he email next!?

hobospacejunkie October 19, 2009 at 9:04 pm

FIFTY-THOUSAND FIFTY-THOUSAND FIFTY-THOUSAND WATTS OF FUNKIN’

RON PAUL FOR NORTH AMERICAN UNION DJ 2012 RFID CHIPS FOR ALL OUR CHILDRENS HOARD YOUR GOLD THE LIZARD PEOPLE ARE COMING. I SAW IT ON THE ABC NETWORK.

biggiantannoyingthing October 19, 2009 at 9:04 pm

But what if I *WANT* AMEROS!? Huh, (if that’s really your name)!??!

Extemporanus October 19, 2009 at 9:05 pm

“I FIND IT SICKENING THAT’D YOU’D DERIDE OUR NATION’S ONLY VIABLE HOPE!

Sorry Juli, but I’m with’d Greta on this one.

Extemporanus October 19, 2009 at 9:07 pm

Balloon Dad, is that you?

grevillea October 19, 2009 at 9:08 pm

Why, Wonkette, why? Unless… oh God… you’re part of the conspiracy! Of course! How could I have been so blind?

Athar October 19, 2009 at 9:08 pm

BTW: What exactly are “RFID CHIPS” anyway? Rural Free Intelligent Design snack food? Eh?

knobwurst October 19, 2009 at 9:09 pm

If i can’t have an amero, can I have a camero? Cuz they’re bitchin!

DickTaterPeeNoShay October 19, 2009 at 9:10 pm

Mr. or Ms. Redacted,
Please get the RFUK chip out of YOUR head!

Extemporanus October 19, 2009 at 9:11 pm

[re=439173]Extemporanus[/re]: That’s right, I’m talking to you [re=439170]hobospacejunkie[/re].

WadISay October 19, 2009 at 9:15 pm

RFID chips, great with salsa.

petehammer October 19, 2009 at 9:15 pm

Quote seems perfect:

“Please accept my resignation. I don’t want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member.”

Mr Blifil October 19, 2009 at 9:16 pm

Well? WELL??? WWWEEEEELLLLLL?????????????

STILL WAITING FOR AN ANSWER!!!

user-of-owls October 19, 2009 at 9:17 pm

[re=439176]Athar[/re]: Mulberry, RFID.

Joshua Norton October 19, 2009 at 9:17 pm

To blatantly steal a line from the episode of “Mad Men” last night when a suck-up told his boss his speech was “rousing”. His boss looked at him and asked “Do you mean Churchill rousing or Hitler rousing”?

Ron Paul and the Paulettes have yet to figure out the difference.

user-of-owls October 19, 2009 at 9:19 pm

I whored my Gold Certificate and bitch shorted me.

Neoyorquino October 19, 2009 at 9:21 pm

Rule 54: CAPSLOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL. If only ‘Redacted’ could have remembered Rule 55.

user-of-owls October 19, 2009 at 9:24 pm

I FIND IT SICKENING THAT’D YOU’D
DERIDE OUR NATION’S ONLY VIABLE HOPE!

That’d be the day that I died. Ooo Ooo.

Athar October 19, 2009 at 9:25 pm

[re=439187]user-of-owls[/re]: Ken Berry sucked the well dry! I don’t think he even got a second season out of that gig. It didn’t work then and it sure as hell won’t work now.

Sleeves October 19, 2009 at 9:27 pm

[re=439153]wordsmoker[/re]: No no, don’t blame yourself! You had the good bits…I’m the one with the little CFR (by your COUNTRY ELITES save) and ORDER 6102 intromissions. (Ohy, Jeeze.)

pampl October 19, 2009 at 9:29 pm

he used 2 out of 3 commas correctly, no way he’s a real ron paul supporter

Hunger Tallest Palin October 19, 2009 at 9:31 pm

AND WHAT ABOUT THE WOOKIES ON ENDOR!??!?!

Suds McKenzie October 19, 2009 at 9:32 pm

I got one just like this, but it was from Quetzalcoatl. Quetzalcoatltards??

shadowMark October 19, 2009 at 9:33 pm

I’m just going to pretend that this letter is Sarah Palin trying to make a joke and fit in.

Tommmcatt October 19, 2009 at 9:34 pm

WELL?

Holy Cow!! October 19, 2009 at 9:34 pm

IT’S BECOMING VERY CLEAR THAT RON PAUL IS THE ANTI-CHRIST.

WhatTheHeck October 19, 2009 at 9:35 pm

Dear Redacted,
After the aliens penetrated you with that universal, caps-lock probe thingy, you were traumatized, nay, sodomized into thinking only a man can save this country.
The real question is, “Why did the aliens let you go?”

natoslug October 19, 2009 at 9:36 pm

[re=439193]user-of-owls[/re]: Are we talking about Ron Paul or Obi-wan? I sense the farce is strong in this one…

hobospacejunkie October 19, 2009 at 9:37 pm

I can’t hear you, Extemporanus, the Lizard People just turned up the volume on my RFID chip to FIFTY THOUSAND WATTS OF FUNKIN’.

Serolf Divad October 19, 2009 at 9:39 pm

If executive order 6102 nullified the constitution in 1933 why are the Paultards so upset that politicians are contravening the Constitution? I mean… it’s been nullified, right? So it’s no longer in force. So who cares what you think. Stop your bitching, Paultards.

MS October 19, 2009 at 9:40 pm

[re=439200]Hunger Tallest Palin[/re]: President-Amero God Ron Paul will send Sen. Jim Demint on a “fact-finding” mission to figure out if there are, indeed, Wookies on Endor.*

*But they won’t find any because the EWOKS live there and OH MY GOD knowing that makes me an equal with the Star Wars Paultards for knowing that bit of info.

Diana Davies October 19, 2009 at 9:40 pm

Dude, don’t drive tonight.

Athar October 19, 2009 at 9:40 pm

[re=439202]shadowMark[/re]: Now that is really deep.

President Beeblebrox October 19, 2009 at 9:43 pm

Of COURSE Dr. Paul wants to keep our kids out of RFID chips. They’re so small that it would really really hurt to bend them enough times to fit them into the chips.

OK, so which one of you Wonketteers wrote this message? Shorts has been awfully quiet lately…

shadowMark October 19, 2009 at 9:44 pm

[re=439207]natoslug[/re]: Redacted had to use the caps lock because they just made the Kessel Run in twelve parsecs and hyperspace phased-twisted the part of their brain that sees lower case letters.

shadowMark October 19, 2009 at 9:47 pm

[re=439212]Athar[/re]: Sorry. I’m out. Bye.

hoosiermama October 19, 2009 at 9:48 pm

NO AMEROS!!!??! Forget it. Fuck you, Ron Paul.

Gallowglass October 19, 2009 at 9:49 pm

I like that he paused for a WELL???? as if you might somehow have magically answered him. How he could have hear over the sound of all those caps is something we’ll never know.

biggiantannoyingthing October 19, 2009 at 9:49 pm

Wait. How many hobo nickels are in an AMERO?

Sleeves October 19, 2009 at 9:49 pm

[re=439202]shadowMark[/re]: See that challenge made to the SA forum goons…

O_o October 19, 2009 at 10:01 pm

I’M NOT 100% IN LOVE WITH YOUR TONE

the problem child October 19, 2009 at 10:01 pm

How will I be able to buy EUROS if I can’t get AMEROS? Ron Paul wants to k kill Canadian tourists!111!

grevillea October 19, 2009 at 10:01 pm

Can’t you see that we have to sacrifice free speech and democracy so that President for Life Commandante LadyDr Paul can restore the Constitution? Are you really that stupid? WELL??!!

Athar October 19, 2009 at 10:01 pm

[re=439222]biggiantannoyingthing[/re]: Boy oh boy! I can tell you’re always the one to have go and get more firewood!

Lionel Hutz Esq. October 19, 2009 at 10:03 pm

Was the missive delivered by blimp?

And, more importantly, why are Steve Martin and President Obama fighting in your illustration?

Jim89048 October 19, 2009 at 10:03 pm

Son of a bitch, that probably took hours to type one-handed like that! All caps is easier than attempting proper punctuation while fapping away with your non-typing hand, I guess.

Trot Nixon' October 19, 2009 at 10:03 pm

So if none of this happens by 2012, we can all praise Obama for successfully upholding the good doctor’s policies, right? Cause I’m betting we won’t have “Ameros”… unless that’s a new kind of hybrid…

Hunger Tallest Palin October 19, 2009 at 10:10 pm

What the heck is Ameros anyway? Sounds like the god of morning wood.

The real question is, “Why did the aliens let you go?”

No, the real question is, “Why didn’t those bastards ever call like they said they would?”

glamourdammerung October 19, 2009 at 10:15 pm

Can Christians be anti-war?
Yes.
Can Christians be libertarian?
No.

Darkness October 19, 2009 at 10:15 pm

Wait, if it’s STILL illegal to hoard gold, why wasn’t Mr. T arrested? And melted down, presumably.

The Little Rock October 19, 2009 at 10:17 pm

Fortunately Executive Order 6102 said nothing about Ameros. I’ve been hoarding those along with my Schrute Bucks for years now. Eat it suckas!

ithasatilde October 19, 2009 at 10:21 pm

Man, I used to be such a dedicated Paultard. It makes me sad that I’ve come so far that when I read this headline on Twitter I automatically assumed it was about Glenn Beck.

Oldskool October 19, 2009 at 10:23 pm

I regret I missed the snark-a-thon that made this guy so upset. I bet it was chock full of jokes, sillyness, sarcasm and other hideous things.

The Little Rock October 19, 2009 at 10:24 pm

[re=439243]Darkness[/re]: As it turns out, Cash 4 Gold is a scam. Who knew?

Gallowglass October 19, 2009 at 10:25 pm

[re=439160]sra[/re]: Is that really all it took to nullify the Constitution? Man, is Cheney’s face going to be red! All that work and FDR beat him to it.

wallythepug October 19, 2009 at 10:28 pm

Dad?

sweetcandy October 19, 2009 at 10:56 pm

Don’t fear, this is all the Great Ron’s plan. He has set it in stone…….but someone SET A GOD DAMN SWORD IN IT AND NOW WE WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT THAT PLAN IS UNTIL SOMEONE REMOVES THAT F#UCKING SWORD!!!!!!

Dolmance October 19, 2009 at 10:57 pm

Mania and stupidity are a potent mix.

Holding Out for a Hero October 19, 2009 at 10:57 pm

This ‘ is an apostrophe and it does not go where you’d put them fella.

nerd1951 October 19, 2009 at 11:06 pm
feelings October 19, 2009 at 11:07 pm

Why can’t numbers be capitalized, again?

gjdodger October 19, 2009 at 11:10 pm

[re=439222]biggiantannoyingthing[/re]: Or whore diamonds?
[re=439248]The Little Rock[/re]: We buy it! Guess who?

Bearbloke October 19, 2009 at 11:13 pm

[re=439222]biggiantannoyingthing[/re]: “How many hobo nickels are in an AMERO?”

Exactly (e/π)^Φ, at current exchange rates…

SayItWithWookies October 19, 2009 at 11:13 pm

It’s terrible that Wonkette is the third-greatest threat to Ron Paul’s effort to win the presidency and save America in 2012. The two greater threats being Ron Paul and his followers, of course,

petehammer October 19, 2009 at 11:33 pm

Public Service: A translation:

1. “RON PAUL WILL KEEP OUR KIDS OUT OF HUMAN-IMPLANT RFID CHIPS.” I think the subject and object are reversed here. I think this means keeping Radiofrequency Identification chips (used to prevent shoplifting and for package tracking) out of our children. Filed under “black helicopter” theories.

2. “AND HE WON’T LET US DIE IN WARS FOR ISRAEL!!” Doubtful this guy is enlisted, but I guess he’s hinting at the conspiracy that the US will bomb Iran/Middle East for Israel. Based on AIPAC’s power, perhaps the most legit of all his (crazy) points.

3. “HE WON’T LET US GET AMEROS” A conspiracy regarding a single currency for Canada, US, and Mexico. Would make travel easier.

4. “OR HAVE MANDATORY NATIONAL ID CARDS” See RFID/Black Helicopters above. A government is both highly inept (national healthcare? they’ll just botch it!) but also incredibly efficient (the government can track your every movement and will send federal troops/UN guys to your door).

5. “OR LET OUR COUNTRY ELITES IN THE CFR CREATE A NORTH AMERICAN UNION!” According to Wikipedia: the “Council on Foreign Relations is an American nonprofit and nonpartisan membership organization dedicated to improving the understanding of U.S. foreign policy and international affairs” DAMN THEM!

6. “EXECUTIVE ORDER 6102 IN 1933 NULLIFIED OUR CONSTITUTION AND AMERICA IS CURRENTLY UNDER MARTIAL LAW” As mentioned above, this order prevented people from hording gold during the depression; subsequently repealed (whoops!). As for martial law, I’m guessing this person is either a huge fan of Sammo Hung or has never seen what martial law is.

armoredbore October 19, 2009 at 11:36 pm

GUYS HELP HOW DO YOU TURN THIS OFF ALL MY LETTERS ARE BIG

PAbitter October 19, 2009 at 11:40 pm

[re=439206]WhatTheHeck[/re]: the real question is, of course
“Who was that wonderful alien?”

nightshift October 19, 2009 at 11:43 pm

Is it just me or is anyone else thinking Ron Paul/Balloon Boy in 2012???

junkscience October 19, 2009 at 11:49 pm

TYPE LOUDER

Gallowglass October 20, 2009 at 12:09 am

[re=439277]armoredbore[/re]: No, you don’t want that turned off. “Big letters” are the new iambic pentameter. They let everyone know you are an intellectual heavy weight who has thought carefully about the issues facing our country. Big letters are the easy road to acceptance of your point of view by those who were previously your sworn ideological foes. Keep those big letters, my friend. They’ll take you places.

obfuscator October 20, 2009 at 12:10 am

[re=439270]SayItWithWookies[/re]: i’d also say that ‘reality’ might be the biggest obstacle to a ron paul administration.

thursday October 20, 2009 at 12:12 am

I think the next time there is a Ron Paul article, 100% of the comments should be in caps. Think of how much classier Wonkette would be in all caps.

american mutt October 20, 2009 at 12:31 am

I had a dumb argument with someone who just kept typing something like, “BUT RFIDS!!” over and over. I’m pretty sure they were saying the same thing when the telephone came out.

S.Luggo October 20, 2009 at 12:39 am

[re=439160]sra[/re]: and the order forbids gay homosexual butt-luv amongz the conservatives and their passive household pets.
Failed.
The FDR order is one more example of Democrat Nazi Marxist Islamo-Socialism trying to steal my, scratch that, our freedoms.
— Glennda of Beck

EdgarAllanPoo October 20, 2009 at 12:40 am

I like Ron Paul. I think he’s cute. And he’s not scary crazy like, for instance, (name your favorite Republican here) is.

glamourdammerung October 20, 2009 at 12:48 am

[re=439279]nightshift[/re]: Apparently Balloon Boy’s father is believes in the lizard people, which is just behind self-diagnosed Aspergers in terms of the probability of being a paultard.

S.Luggo October 20, 2009 at 12:49 am

: “THE ONLY MAN”?
Man? Why you omit our sly but mighty, patriotic burrowing gerbil?
— Miss McConnell

steve October 20, 2009 at 12:49 am

Sorry Ron Paul supporters, but you can’t have it both ways. Either the Constitution was nullified by that commie FDR and his “deal making” and we’re living in a chaotic post anarchy reminiscent of Kevin Reynolds’ ‘Waterworld’ or we’re enjoying a hyper-efficient post-Reagan civilization organized around slavery and derivatives speculation. Time to get off the fence and pick a side, we’re at war.

Cicada October 20, 2009 at 12:53 am

I just thought I’d point out that there’s a delightfully earnest conservative posting over on the Michael Steele thread. He wants to explain to y’all that the commenters are here are uncouth. Oh, and that black people just don’t appreciate how much the Republican party has done for them.

I’m off to bed, but I thought some of you west-coasters and night owls might find him diverting.

S.Luggo October 20, 2009 at 12:53 am

[re=439152]couchbound[/re]: I believe that Steve Jobs got there first.

Potater October 20, 2009 at 12:54 am

[re=439245]ithasatilde[/re]: Welcome to the Fold. We expect you to bathe regularly.

Paul Tardy October 20, 2009 at 1:06 am

So who’s this Juli.Wiener and is she hot? Julian Wiener, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

1933? I thought it was 1913(Income tax + Direct election of Senators + Not to Mention POTUS Wilson)? Anyway EXECUTIVE ORDER 6102 made gold a controlled substance because people were using it recreationally, as opposed to medically. In California you could own gold if you had a note from a doctor saying not owning gold made you anxious.

piniella October 20, 2009 at 1:15 am

Oh God it’s impossible to tell the difference between the trolls and the real thing anymore

The conservatives think that is progress.

RubberSoul October 20, 2009 at 1:21 am

ELECTING RON PAUL IN THE NEXT REGULARLY SCHEDULED FREE ELECTION IS THE ONLY WAY TO RECLAIM AMERICA FROM MARTIAL LAW!!! WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!!

Mike Steele October 20, 2009 at 1:25 am

I think that once the emailer referred to Julie’s attack on Ron Paul as “filthy”, then “no good” used as a further modifier really wasn’t entirely necessary.

Extemporanus October 20, 2009 at 1:34 am

[re=439288]thursday[/re]: YES!!! LET’S PAUL OUT ALL THE STOPS!!!

El Pinche October 20, 2009 at 1:46 am

TONIGHT WE ARE ALL SHEEPLES

El Pinche October 20, 2009 at 1:48 am

[re=439270]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Brilliant. Do you always have to win god dammit?!!

Smoke Filled Roommate October 20, 2009 at 1:50 am

Children with RFID chips would be awesome– you could scan them like products!

El Pinche October 20, 2009 at 1:53 am

[re=439300]Cicada[/re]: He sounds as crazy as [re=439254]this guy[/re] who apparently adores Rove. And he’s not kidding.

Smoke Filled Roommate October 20, 2009 at 1:53 am

[re=439222]biggiantannoyingthing[/re]: I believe it’s roughly equivalent to three beans and a dog.

SayItWithWookies October 20, 2009 at 2:02 am

[re=439327]El Pinche[/re]: Aw, thanks — I sorta feel like I’ve been in a bit of a slump, what with being busy at work and everything.

katrina October 20, 2009 at 2:19 am

I’m sure this is just Ken ballooning Juli.

desertwind October 20, 2009 at 2:41 am

WELL, OKAY! ALRIGHT. YOU WIN!

Jukesgrrl October 20, 2009 at 3:54 am

Do these people know that Ron Paul was born and raised in Greentree, PA, a dead-boring suburb of Pittsburgh? A place whose only mall has K-Mart as its anchor store?? Greentree’s the last thing you see before you enter the tunnel that leads to the city. Its major claim to fame: it’s so bad it makes Pittsburgh look gorgeous.

gurukalehuru October 20, 2009 at 4:09 am

The crazies seem to be divided into 2 groups – those who believe that the most important part of the constitution is that part that guarantees your right to own a gun, and those who hold that the most important bit is that part about “Congress shall pass no law, nor shall the President issue any executive order, prohibiting citizens from hoarding gold.”

LowerdPeninsula October 20, 2009 at 4:51 am

You all know what’s supposed to happen in 2012, right? Surely, Ron Paul is the anti-Christ, then, right? Surely.

LowerdPeninsula October 20, 2009 at 4:54 am

[re=439350]gurukalehuru[/re]: And never the twain will meet, except on every other subject, of course.

Cookie Guggelman October 20, 2009 at 6:30 am

Dear Wonkette: Stop trying to make Ron Paul happen. He’s not happening.

Redhead October 20, 2009 at 7:57 am

Wait, which attack on Ron Paul does he/she (it?) object to? You have to be more specific.

And, uhh… “RON PAUL WILL KEEP OUR KIDS OUT OF HUMAN-IMPLANT RFID CHIPS.” doWHAT? Oh I got it. “RFID” is Dorito’s latest fancy flavor, right? He’s just trying to help the obesity issue guys, trying to get the kiddies to eat apples and play outside instead of eating doritos and cheetos in front of the computer. Wait, no, that can’t be right, he’d lose his entire base then…

couchbound October 20, 2009 at 7:57 am

[re=439301]S.Luggo[/re]: YEAH, BUT FOR STEVE JOBS IT’S MERELY THERAPEUTIC!!! THAT DOESN’T COUNT!!!

ALIVE! October 20, 2009 at 8:16 am

[re=439215]President Beeblebrox[/re]: That’s immediately who I thought of.

PabaBritannica October 20, 2009 at 8:21 am

Part of me wants the rigorous debate with libertarians on Rawlsian liberalism vs. Hayekian liberalism and the possible reconciliation between the two…but then the other part of me reads that email, slaps the other part of me, and keeps laughing.

Never change Ron Paul, never change.

PabaBritannica October 20, 2009 at 8:26 am

[re=439350]gurukalehuru[/re]: obviously, this reveals that the source of mr. t’s powers come from his immense collection of gold chains. he is The One.

Terry October 20, 2009 at 8:42 am

Don’t we sort of have manditory ID cards already in the form of drivers licences and state issued ID cards (for you non-drivers out there)? You are officially required to have one, but you need one to fly in a plane, write a check, etc.

comicbookguy October 20, 2009 at 8:46 am

Worst. Diatribe. Ever.

Rest assured I was expressing my disgust on the Internet within minutes.

slappypaddy October 20, 2009 at 8:49 am

the country is under martial law? sshhh, don’t tell anyone, though that would explain all the heavily-armed troops patrolling the streets, gunning down anyone foolish enough to violate the 6 pm to 6 am curfew. y’all did hear about the curfew, didn’t you?

silly rabbit, ron-paul is for kids.

slappypaddy October 20, 2009 at 8:52 am

[re=439263]feelings[/re]: “Why can’t numbers be capitalized, again?”

here they are, the capital numbers:

!@#$%^&*()

the variation on that is:

ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT, NINE, ZERO

you’re welcome. you’ll be receiving my invoice in the mail.

Kingbee October 20, 2009 at 8:56 am

Yours Truly,
Cut Nut Slut

TimeCubist October 20, 2009 at 8:56 am

Shorts?

doxastic October 20, 2009 at 9:13 am

RFID chips are made of children? That’s disgusting!

house of the blue lights October 20, 2009 at 9:23 am

[re=439252]wallythepug[/re]: Yes?

Traveler October 20, 2009 at 9:25 am

[re=439158]mcc[/re]: That is the one of the signs that you have been online too long.

Rajul October 20, 2009 at 9:26 am

LEAVE RON PAUL ALONE!!!

Servo October 20, 2009 at 9:29 am

[re=439349]Jukesgrrl[/re]:
My memory of Greentree Hill was nothing more than an automotive battleground through which I was focused on staying alive to reach the airport or the Monroeville exit.

PsycGirl October 20, 2009 at 9:32 am

[re=439386]doxastic[/re]: no, no, no. “RON PAUL WILL KEEP OUR KIDS OUT OF HUMAN-IMPLANT RFID CHIPS” refers to Chuck E. Cheese’s nefarious campaign to replace the swine-flu-ridden balls in the ball pit with these chip things.

magic titty October 20, 2009 at 9:43 am

Has anyone explained Ron Paul’s thumbless left hand in that drawing??

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!?11???

thefoxtrot October 20, 2009 at 9:54 am

silly paul-tards

noodleman October 20, 2009 at 10:26 am

[re=439160]sra[/re]: Executive Order 6102 was abrogated in 1977.

hagajim October 20, 2009 at 10:41 am

RFID chip for my kid??!?? At least I’d know what the little shit was up to!

kth October 20, 2009 at 10:57 am

[re=439401]magic titty[/re]: CHOLLIE! THEY TOOK MY THUMB!

Also: Paultards are the dark matter of the whole Tea Party 9/12 tendency.

Catholics4Condoms October 20, 2009 at 11:04 am

Come on Canadians and Mexicans vote for statehood. Join the US of A to make it the US of NA that will really irk these paultards because they say they stand for the constitution. They will be like, “You can’t make a Union of North America” and we’ll be like, ” Article IV Section 3 ‘New states may be admitted by congress’ so nyah!” Maybe Rep. Paul will take a stand in the house and block the admission of Quebec and Chihuahua as the 54th and 55th states; but then he would be blocking the Manifest Destiny of the United States of Earth!

Dangerous October 20, 2009 at 12:03 pm

What’s with they cult of personality regarding Ron Paul, “THE ONLY MAN WHO CAN SAVE THIS DECLINING COUNTRY”.

If that’s the case, we’re in worse shape than I thought. No one man can save an entire country, no matter whether it’s really declining or not. But to then say that there is only ONE such individual capable of it — well, waiting for the Messiah anyone?

This reminds me of the Jews who were waiting for the Messiah to deliver them to Israel. When they won the war for independence in 1948, the leaders declared that it was their army that was the real Messiah, supported by the Jewish people throughout the world. We delivered ourselves, duh.

It’s a good thing that Ron Paul doesn’t have a Jesus complex — when I’ve seen him on TV he is quite calm, reasonable and articulate — because idiots like the “redacted” would follow him to a place like Wacko, and end up horribly dead for no good reason.

That’s why I like Obama and support him, be he’s not the boss of me and — thank God — he realizes that he’s not infallible as well.

eekahil October 20, 2009 at 12:15 pm

Dear REDACTED,
O.K.
Sincerely, etc

Decker October 20, 2009 at 12:37 pm

WHY WOULD YOU DROP THE ALT TEXT FROM SUCH A BEAUTIFUL PIECE OF AMERICANA??? NOT EVEN A ‘ROCKY VII: MICKEY VS. APOLLO IN HEAVEN’???? FIXED!!!

richbachelor October 20, 2009 at 12:45 pm

The image produced by ‘country elites’ is kinda cartoony. Y’mean country gentlemen? The fellas with the white linen suits and the mint juleps?

And again, that ‘WELL?’ Wouldn’t it have been priceless if the entire thrust of the letter changed at that point to ‘I’M WAITING. CAN’T YOU- OKAY. I’M GOING OVER HERE NOW TO MAKE A SANDWICH. WHEN I GET BACK, I REALLY AM GOING TO NEED AN ANSWER OF SOME SORT FROM YOU. YOU KNOW, ABOUT THE COUNTRYPOLITANS. THANKS.’

bathalax October 20, 2009 at 12:45 pm

fuck ron paul forever

DangerousLiberal October 20, 2009 at 12:59 pm

[re=439160]sra[/re]: And I, with my fancy Pee Haitch Dee and all my book larnin’, didn’t know that, proving that our entire US of America education system is total FAIL.

The alternate theory is that these gold-hoarding freaks are whack-a-doodles. And how you get from this Exec Order to martial law is…a stretch.

Sorry, forgot–we’re talking Paultards here. My bad.

PerhapsSo October 20, 2009 at 1:21 pm

I think that I am going to copy and paste that and send it to all of my elected representatives. How will Arlen Specter respond?

blader October 20, 2009 at 1:24 pm

The road for Ron Paul in 2012 runs through Tancredo/Palin. I, for one, am very much looking forward to it.

ryanjr October 20, 2009 at 2:34 pm

Why do you pick the craziest supporters of Ron Paul you can find to air out in public? Every politician has its share of nutjob supporters. Ron Paul is undeniably the most honest and intelligent congressman in Washington, D.C. – his supporters are not all crazy, and the lowest common denominator is what is being used to try to oppose his ideology. i.e. calling Paul supporters Paultards, posting messages from Paul supporters who just so happen to be insane and the like (which is really juvinile btw).

Ron Paul is dead on in 95% of the issues and I wish him Godspeed in his efforts. While he may not even run in 2012, I certainly pray that someone with his integrity and patriotism can step up to the plate and take the country back from lobbyists (which Obama said he’d do and hasn’t), AIPAC, the military industrial complex (Obama’s nobel peace prize was for what? – raising the troop level in Afghanistan?), and ultra-liberal tax n spend cap n trade socialists.

give us a bob October 20, 2009 at 2:34 pm

“I FIND IT SICKENING THAT’D YOU’D DERIDE OUR NATION’S ONLY VIABLE HOPE!”

I find it sickening that’d you’d deride our grammar’s only viable subjunctive with absurd, serial contractions!

PerhapsSo October 20, 2009 at 3:14 pm

[re=439741]ryanjr[/re]: Oh, so earnest. Did you get lost and wander in here?

biggiantannoyingthing October 20, 2009 at 4:04 pm

[re=439741]ryanjr[/re]: Don’t come here and criticize the fine Wonketteers unless you’ve brought AMEROS for us all, assface!

*Whore diamonds and hobo nickels are also accepted.

slappypaddy October 20, 2009 at 4:41 pm

[re=439741]ryanjr[/re]: it’s so sweet to see someone so idealistic and naive in this day and age. do come visit again sometime soon, we are but a vipers’ nest and yearn for fresh blood.

say, here’s a quick question, but you can think on it long as you like — what’s money?

glamourdammerung October 20, 2009 at 5:47 pm

[re=439741]ryanjr[/re]: “Why do you pick the craziest supporters of Ron Paul you can find to air out in public?”

Because that pretty much is any/all of them.

problemwithcaring October 20, 2009 at 5:51 pm

This post is missing the part where this person is dismissed as a drooling dumb assclown and instructed on the size and amount of human penises to consume.

Sarcasm aside, where are your priorities?

clientnumber8 October 20, 2009 at 10:59 pm

Like, lol, but c’mon, stick with Greatest Hits from Ron Paul Forums. Plenty of material to work with there. This? Obviously written by a smartass from this here peanut gallery. “I FIND IT SICKENING THAT’D YOU’D DERIDE OUR NATION’S ONLY VIABLE HOPE!” ? That’s funny, but it was overkill.

Gumboz1953 October 21, 2009 at 9:42 am

[re=439194]Athar[/re]: But he was great in F Troop.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: