• February 15, 2012

So Dick Cheney told Obama to stop “dithering”! Haha, oh, right! Yes, he’ll get right on that… ceasing to dither. This is a hilarious and formidable old man insult used to express one’s displeasure with the lack of bombs and troops and guns and bombs and shit currently being sent to Afghanistan. “Having announced his Afghanistan strategy last March, President Obama now seems afraid to make a decision, and unable to provide his commander on the ground with the troops he needs to complete his mission,” said Cheney. It’s like: is Obama scared? Scared of WAR? Ha! Dick Cheney didn’t realize the President was a GIRL who needs to write in her diary 10 times a day before deploying more American soldiers to Afghanistan. [Los Angeles Times]

{ 84 comments }

dum librul October 22, 2009 at 11:02 am

Can’t Obama get some college deferments to delay sending troops to Afghanistan? That is the good, proper, and courageous way to avoid fighting wars.

ManchuCandidate October 22, 2009 at 11:04 am

It’s too bad that no one tried that with Dick in 1965 during the 1st of 5 draft deferments.

TGY October 22, 2009 at 11:05 am

The world would be a happier place if more of us ran away screaming like a little girl than otherwise.

norbizness October 22, 2009 at 11:06 am

Cheney might as well scream WAS IT OVER WHEN THE GERMANS BOMBED PEARL HARBOR for all of the fruits his “foreign” “policy” produced.

WarAndG October 22, 2009 at 11:07 am

The carnival of fear still continues with old ogre. We outspend the world by billions on defense, we station troops in 150 countries and still he and his ilk aren’t satisfied (with their profits). More defensing spending isn’t going to help you understand the memo titled “Al Qaeda determined to strike in the US” any better .

Jim Demintia October 22, 2009 at 11:11 am

I’ve got a great idea! Let’s deploy Dick Cheney! We’ll make him Karzai’s vice president and in five years Afghanistan will have ceased to exist.

takes12no1 October 22, 2009 at 11:12 am

damn shame the Cheney administration didn’t “dither” at all when it came do deciding Iraq had WMD and that we should make up shit to prove it so as to convince congress to go along. Not a second of dithering there that’s for sure.

bbqboy October 22, 2009 at 11:12 am

maybe the shooter is going to play Mr. Dithers in the upcoming Blondie remake.

Cape Clod October 22, 2009 at 11:13 am

Maybe if Dick had taken a little more time to ponder whether or not Afganistan was secure enough to go off on another military adventure we might not be still fighting there 8 years later.

slithytoves October 22, 2009 at 11:13 am

Cheney posed for a picture with a “secret” file on the top of his papers? Is that Valerie Plame’s file?

Johnny Zhivago October 22, 2009 at 11:14 am

Too bad we don’t have a president with the military record of Dick Cheney. I mean he was there at Iwo Jima, Inchon and during the Tet Offensive. Wait a minute. Oh sorry, I meant John Wayne.

SayItWithWookies October 22, 2009 at 11:15 am

Tough words for a guy who spent five years in complete denial over the increasingly horrific situation in his pet oilfield, Iraq. So right — come on, President Obama — the war’s not going to ignore itself.

charlesdegoal October 22, 2009 at 11:15 am

According to Cheney “our friends throughout the world are watching and wondering whether America will abandon them as well”. Friends? Name two.

Gallowglass October 22, 2009 at 11:15 am

Obama needs to show some gumption. He wouldn’t be dithering so much if he wasn’t listening to all that Negro jazz on his phonograph machine! It’s all the fault of those flapper girls and their speak-easy bathtub gin!

x111e7thst October 22, 2009 at 11:16 am

Did Dick dither before shooting that other old codger right in the face? No he did not! A real Dick does not dither.

TGY October 22, 2009 at 11:17 am

[re=441434]slithytoves[/re]: He classifies his laundry list. You never know what information the enemy will find useful.

gurukalehuru October 22, 2009 at 11:21 am

…and no dilly-dallying, either!

Marlowe October 22, 2009 at 11:22 am

So, this dumb ass and Bush couldn’t get the job done in 7 years, so now they heap on Obama.

magic titty October 22, 2009 at 11:23 am

I prefer dilly-dally.

Texan Bulldoggette October 22, 2009 at 11:25 am

Stop dawdling, Barry!

thefrontpage October 22, 2009 at 11:25 am

Flabbergasting baloney, this is, we says, dadgummitt to all.

Advocatus_Diaboli October 22, 2009 at 11:25 am

and stop lollygagging too. Those under-equipped, under-armored soldiers aren’t going to kill themselves for no fucking reason, now, are they?

professionalcynic October 22, 2009 at 11:25 am

Dang sassy-pants whippersnapper, make a God-dang decision about that sand-filled God-foresaken country already!

thefrontpage October 22, 2009 at 11:26 am

“Dithering,” like “going rogue,” is actually British slang for unprotected anal sex.

Schmegeg October 22, 2009 at 11:27 am

He is due for a fatal heart attack, if his organs would stop dithering and explode.

totoro October 22, 2009 at 11:29 am

Not hypocrisy at all, right, because Cheney did not “dither” for EIGHT years on sending enough troops to Afghanistan to deal the people who have been trying to kill us all Michael Bay-style every day of that period. Rather, all the troops were in Iraq—which had as much to do with 9/11 as a ham sandwich. Or Saudi Arabia.

shadowMark October 22, 2009 at 11:33 am

[re=441451]magic titty[/re]: Juli, being a girl, doesn’t know that “dithering” isn’t a word the olds use to mean going slowly it’s a word techs use to mean intentionally injecting good nonsense into a system because cool nonsense is better bad random crap.

Wonkette is dither. Cheney was really telling Obama to stop spending so much time at teh Wonkett.

“Dither” at Wikipedia

Paul Tardy October 22, 2009 at 11:33 am

Dubya Never Dithered. You can put that on a bumper sticker. D-N-D

WIDTAP October 22, 2009 at 11:36 am

Who did you say this fellow was? Oh, Dick “deficits don’t matter” Cheney. I remember him he’s the brain-dead fellow who goaded the last administration into a trillion dollar deficit followed by a financial meltdown. I am sooo interested in what he has to say now.

JesusButter October 22, 2009 at 11:36 am

Today, we are all ditherers.

Norbert October 22, 2009 at 11:37 am

C’mon, Dick, is that the best you’ve got? Needs more fear and loathing and paranoia. Your powers are weak, old man.

gjdodger October 22, 2009 at 11:38 am

The hell with aplomb, and bring on the bombs
Says Barnacle Dick, the Asshole

user-of-owls October 22, 2009 at 11:40 am

Irrelevant spittle from an impotent angry old failure.

The GOP has impeccable genius when it comes to choosing spokesmongers, don’t they.

Dorje Chenpo October 22, 2009 at 11:43 am

READY, FIRE, AIM! That’s how we fight wars. That’s how we go hunting with our friends.

geminisunmars October 22, 2009 at 11:43 am

Dithering Dick has such a nice ring to it. I think I’ll use it in place of my usual “jumping-geehoseafat”.

charlesdegoal October 22, 2009 at 11:44 am

He’s also taking credit for preventing another terrorist attack. Never mind that they let the first one happen. They also only allowed one hurricane disaster and one financial crisis to happen.

freakishlystrong October 22, 2009 at 11:46 am

Dick, quit shilly-shallying around and die already, will ya?

Monsieur Grumpe October 22, 2009 at 11:48 am

If Mr Dickhead and his Gang of Morans actually dithered before they attacked Iraq we could saved a whole lot of money and lives. But nooooooooo. Cheney don’t dither.
Dither on Hopey. Dither on.

Oldskool October 22, 2009 at 11:48 am

Dick should sue his heart surgeons. They must have noticed all the deferments and thought it would be a good idea to turn him into a manly man while they were in there. We miss the Dick who cried into his pillow at the thought of Vietnam.

Servo October 22, 2009 at 11:48 am

I can’t think of a more worthy candidate for the Death Panels.
[re=441473]gjdodger[/re]:
Nice John Valby reference.

rmontcal October 22, 2009 at 11:48 am

Gerund?

Lascauxcaveman October 22, 2009 at 11:49 am

Dick, you should know how lackadaisical those colored fellows are.

S.Luggo October 22, 2009 at 11:50 am

“Cheney maintains new 9/11′s possibly killing thousands more Americans were prevented by tough, aggressive policies that have kept terrorists on the defensive.”

Very, true. There has never a terrorist act on US soil by the Martian Liberation Army.

Gallowglass October 22, 2009 at 11:54 am

All of you, get off my lawn!

queeraselvis v 2.0 October 22, 2009 at 11:59 am

[re=441459]Schmegeg[/re]: A-fucking-men.

PoignancySelz October 22, 2009 at 12:10 pm

This just in, Liz Cheney warned Obama not to tarry.

WhatTheHeck October 22, 2009 at 12:13 pm

There once was a man who dithered
who was considered lilly-livered.
Holding back his troops
made Dick stop his poops
so back to his dungeon he slithered.

widget09 October 22, 2009 at 12:24 pm

Listen up here Dick, you are no longer in the Whitehouse, furthermore, opinions are like assholes, everyone has one and they all stink.

SayItWithWookies October 22, 2009 at 12:25 pm

[re=441491]S.Luggo[/re]: And look at India and Pakistan — they torture the fuck out of people, and they never suffer terrorist attacks.

Come here a minute October 22, 2009 at 12:30 pm

[re=441434]slithytoves[/re]: That is a bogus folder that was photoshopped in there to hide the onion on his belt.

geminisunmars October 22, 2009 at 12:30 pm

LA Times not posting comments. I guess they didn’t want to hear about Dithering Dicks.

imissopus October 22, 2009 at 12:36 pm

Meantime, how are my shares of Confederated Slave Holdings doing?

They’re uh…great!

BlueStateLibtard October 22, 2009 at 12:37 pm

Dick is becoming more and more like the sad guy who was laid off, but still shows up at work just to “see what’s going on,” offer advice, and make everyone uncomfortable.

petehammer October 22, 2009 at 12:37 pm

My HS football coach was in a rough position: he had had several losing seasons in a row. He wasn’t a great coach; every 4th down, no matter what, we’d kick. Even in the awkward “too short for punt, too long for field goal” range. After I graduated he was fired. I was home for Thanksgiving in college a couple years later and reading the local (ie, community not city) newspaper. This old coach had written a letter to the editor complaining about the new coach and his success rate. It was soooooo bitter and angry and because it was a lazy community paper, they didn’t bother identifying him as the former coach. This is Dick Cheney on a much larger scale. He’s the guy that blamed his loses on his players (despite the fact they changed year-to-year) and never looked inward. The difference is I feel pity for my old coach.

Downtheroadapiece October 22, 2009 at 12:37 pm

I didn’t even read that post as I was too distracted by that Darth Cheney image. Dear god, is that his ‘bedroom eyes’ look. Ugh. I think I’m sterile now.

Accordion-o-rama October 22, 2009 at 12:41 pm

[re=441485]Oldskool[/re]: The whole country should sue Dick’s heart surgeons.

queeraselvis v 2.0 October 22, 2009 at 12:45 pm

[re=441540]BlueStateLibtard[/re]: Sort of like Milton in “Office Space.”

tcb October 22, 2009 at 12:45 pm

Is “man-verbs” a euphemism? How old are they?

disgustedcitizen October 22, 2009 at 12:52 pm

Dear EX-VP Vader;

STFU!

Sincerely,

The People of the United States

Neoyorquino October 22, 2009 at 12:53 pm

Favorite old man(nerism): “catawampus.”

comicbookguy October 22, 2009 at 12:56 pm

Cheney kept us safe for 8 years! That’s right, zero terrorist attacks. As long as you don’t count attacks on our troops, embassies, and overseas interests. Of course, everyone knows 9/11 doesn’t count. Cheney already called mulligan on that one.

Accordion-o-rama October 22, 2009 at 1:09 pm

[re=441542]Downtheroadapiece[/re]: Deficits don’t matter because I love you

http://blingee.com/blingee/view/101021606-cheney-bedroom-eyes

An Outhouse October 22, 2009 at 1:10 pm

Once the dick is inserted,
the mission must be completed.

An Outhouse October 22, 2009 at 1:11 pm

Hey, Dick. I hear your daughter’s a lesbo.

yellowdogdem October 22, 2009 at 1:15 pm

[re=441553]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Please don’t insult Milton.

hobospacejunkie October 22, 2009 at 1:21 pm

[re=441474]user-of-owls[/re]: irrelevant spittle from an impotent, angry old failure.

Not a wasted word.

Also, you know who else was impotent?

Paul Tardy October 22, 2009 at 1:47 pm

Democrats Dither while Republicans Rutabaga. BTW while we are on the subject of dithering, what’s with Win7 download jeez.

Mr Blifil October 22, 2009 at 1:56 pm

Obama is not dithering, Dick. He is shirking, due to the temptation of juicy watermelon nearby.

Big difference, which I’m suprised Dick didn’t pick up on.

vladster October 22, 2009 at 2:18 pm

Sho ’nuff Mr. Dick, sar. Soon as cash my welfare check. Un-huh

Suds McKenzie October 22, 2009 at 2:27 pm

whats with the “come hither” look ??

vladster October 22, 2009 at 2:41 pm

makes me so hot!

qwerty42 October 22, 2009 at 2:55 pm

the criminal old fool. From Sullivan:
“…Cheney is fighting against a narrative that will, in due course, cast him in history as one of the most criminal and incompetent officials in American history. It is logical for him to fight in this way, to lie about his record and to attack a sitting president in the vilest way possible while that president and the country remains at war. It is not logical for anyone else to take him the faintest bit seriously. …”

Uncle Glenny October 22, 2009 at 3:00 pm

[re=441587]Accordion-o-rama[/re]: Why is it that when I see that I interpret the hearts as droplets of blood?

notwavingbutdrowning October 22, 2009 at 3:09 pm

[re=441587]Accordion-o-rama[/re]: Agreed: that picture is begging for blingee.

http://blingee.com/blingee/view/101029393-creepy-love-cheney

notwavingbutdrowning October 22, 2009 at 3:14 pm

[re=441766]notwavingbutdrowning[/re]: For some reason it didn’t include the piles of money where his heart is and the banana penis (next to the flashing “broken” sign at the bottom). Perhaps blingee places a limit on bling. Or perhaps the blingee machine felt that it wasn’t in good taste.

vladster October 22, 2009 at 3:17 pm

It all makes sense now. Cheney has all of McCain’s testosterone.
Another election, queered.

american mutt October 22, 2009 at 3:50 pm

I don’t seem to have enough vodou dolls that work well enough on Dick.

SayItWithWookies October 22, 2009 at 3:53 pm

Wheeee — Gibbs responds:

“What Vice President Cheney calls dithering, President Obama calls his solemn responsibility to the men and women in uniform,” Gibbs said Thursday. “I think we’ve all seen what happens when somebody doesn’t take that responsibility seriously.”

I love fireworks!

Accordion-o-rama October 22, 2009 at 4:09 pm

[re=441828]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Your article mentions Cheney receiving the “Keeper of the Flame” award. That certainly brings some interesting pictures to mind.

Toomush Infermashun October 22, 2009 at 4:12 pm

I had on a pair of x-ray glasses, so I peeked into Dick’s secret file: the top page was hand-scrawled “no more fiddle-faddle!”…. all the rest of the pages were typed repetitions of this curious phrase: “All work and no play makes Dick a dull boy”… not sure I understood this last part, must be in code…. seriously, who does he expect to convince that anyone gives him any secret information anymore?…

qwerty42 October 22, 2009 at 4:16 pm

[re=441746]qwerty42[/re]: From Yglesias:
“…I think very few people believed in the winter of 2001-2002 that we’d be sitting here in the fall of 2009 talking about what strategy shifts were necessary to prevent defeat in Afghanistan.

I find it mind-boggling that the architects of this disaster are so eager to offer backseat commentary on Obama’s handling of it. …”

Dean Booth October 22, 2009 at 5:07 pm

Give Cheney a sex change and drop him nude into Afghan poppy country.

problemwithcaring October 22, 2009 at 6:42 pm

Hey after dicking-around for 8 years, let the Prez teach you something about it’s CPT.

keglined October 23, 2009 at 10:07 pm

“Hilarious old man verbs…” OMG you write the funniest headlines! I wanna have your babies.

Sérieusement, this is just more of Granny Weatherall Cheney on his political death bed. Images of that dastardly (another old man verb) jiltor, the 2001 “Bin Laden is going to blow us up later this summer” memo, haunting his decomposing brain. His dying question — ‘didn’t we do OK by Afghanistan?’ — is being ignored by the invisible cloud being that is us. He’d like to believe FOX’s stupid audience passes for “us,” but death has this self-delusional-BS-removing feature about it.

So, until his literal death, he’s never gonna shut up.

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