• February 14, 2012
COMICAL HEADLINES

‘Released’: Also A Sex Thing! (?)

by Juli Weiner

10:58 am November 12, 2009


Nice, bro. [Christian Science Monitor; h/t to TILF "John J."]

{ 43 comments }

Click November 12, 2009 at 11:02 am

Well, there’s a twist. Usually they find their release through some nubile young boy.

graceless November 12, 2009 at 11:03 am

Yeah.

nbawriter November 12, 2009 at 11:05 am

Sounds like John J. is gittin’ some Weiner.

Mr Blifil November 12, 2009 at 11:08 am

PILF?

Doesn’t really work does it?

freakishlystrong November 12, 2009 at 11:08 am

An Irish priest, a Muslin I’d like to Fuck, and Imelda Marcos walk in to a bar..

snideinplainsight November 12, 2009 at 11:10 am

Other than that part about being a ‘priest’, this headline is pretty much any good weekend for me.

snideinplainsight November 12, 2009 at 11:11 am

Oh, and the part about being kidnapped in the Philippines. That never happens to me.

shadowMark November 12, 2009 at 11:11 am

La belle dame avec merci.

comicbookguy November 12, 2009 at 11:11 am

[re=456715]freakishlystrong[/re]: Don’t be racist. It’s a Militant I’d Like to Fuck, regardless of religious background.

WadISay November 12, 2009 at 11:12 am

A little-known provision of Vatican II makes it possible for Muslims to provide this service.

KilgoreTrout_XL November 12, 2009 at 11:14 am

The priest might stop through Tampa Bay on his way home to ask a Marine reservist who enjoys steroids and gay pinup calendars for directions.

binarian November 12, 2009 at 11:14 am

[re=456718]shadowMark[/re]: oui

CycloneArmageddon November 12, 2009 at 11:15 am

Nothing like getting some release by MILF.

Get it? No no it’s funny. Let me explain it to you. You see… oh god, I can’t be bothered

SayItWithWookies November 12, 2009 at 11:16 am

…which handed him to the Filipino government as a goodwill gesture.

So it was a pity release? Priests today have no pride.

lawrenceofthedesert November 12, 2009 at 11:20 am

These copycat crimes been happenin’ ever since Demi snatched Ashton.

CapnFatback November 12, 2009 at 11:20 am

The headline writer should check his or her typology; “Philip Pines” is actually the name of one of the church’s altar boys.

And “kid” is Irish slang for penis, natch.

Holybalheadedchrist November 12, 2009 at 11:23 am

Is “Irish priest” slang for dong? If not, I don’t get it.

JMP November 12, 2009 at 11:25 am

Why would the MILF want to kidnap the nice priest? Oh wait, I wasn’t thinking of the M part; her son must’ve been one of his victims, duh. Hope she made him pay. Of course, for an Irish priest a month without access to either children or copious amounts of alcohol would be torture.

proudgrampa November 12, 2009 at 11:28 am

Dammit, need new keyboard after coffee spray out nose. That’s the best headline, EVAH!

Johnny Zhivago November 12, 2009 at 11:43 am

This is getting twisted though:

GIBO: MILF MAY BE HIDING SOMETHING ON SINNOTT’S ABDUCTION

FORT DEL PILAR, BAGUIO CITY, NOVEMBER 8, 2009

Aflac Shrugged November 12, 2009 at 11:43 am

Father Sinnott was released once his captors realized that Catholic theology is much like warm apple pie.

comicbookguy November 12, 2009 at 11:45 am

Also why does the chick in the fashion ad look like she’s twisting her nipples?

Cool Keith November 12, 2009 at 11:46 am

Worst militant acronym since the North American Marxist-Bakuninist Liberation Army folded.

donner_froh November 12, 2009 at 11:49 am

“The MILF is a mass-based organization with an objective, and it won’t commit an act that would tarnish its reputation. In fact, the MILF always wants to project a good image not only within the Philippines but also in the entire world,” Jaafar said.

Works for me. The more MILFs the better.

Oldskool November 12, 2009 at 11:51 am

Groups like that should do some research before they come up with a name. It must be bad for business when they sound like something out of “Tropic Thunder”.

Prommie November 12, 2009 at 11:51 am

Was it hand release, or oral? Either way, she must have taken care of the kid.

WarAndG November 12, 2009 at 11:52 am

Moms I LIKE TO? Or moms priests like to? This is confusing.

freppish November 12, 2009 at 11:54 am

seems like the preist and MILF are after the same demographic, young men

Mr Blifil November 12, 2009 at 11:58 am

[re=456760]Cool Keith[/re]: Kudos, which is Klingon for I forget…

TGY November 12, 2009 at 12:06 pm

‘Moro’ Islamic Liberation Front? Did they run out of n-s?

What Fresh Hell is This? November 12, 2009 at 12:10 pm

Is this a misfiled April Fools’ story: a journalist named “Tom A. Peter” writing about an Irish priest and a MILF?

Ooooh, Christian Science Monitor, darn you!

depraved indifference engine November 12, 2009 at 12:18 pm

comical headline is comical.

my officemate just noticed my chuckling, and he’s catholic, so I was afraid to tell him why.

I went back to the original “Air Force Pounds MILF lair” story http://wonkette.com/409155/philippines-attacks-milf-lair, but that only made the laughter worse.

the problem child November 12, 2009 at 12:27 pm

Holy Mary-Mother-of-God I’d Like to Fuck!

the problem child November 12, 2009 at 12:29 pm

“Ghadzali Jaafar, MILF’s vice chairman of political affairs, added that his organization would help bring the kidnappers to justice and “expressed disappointment” in response to claims that the abduction had been carried out by a rogue, MILF splinter group.”

And now we have our Palin connection.

comicbookguy November 12, 2009 at 1:09 pm

So… Jar Jar Milf is on the case? Meeso feely betta now! Ani!

assistant/atlas November 12, 2009 at 1:19 pm

You know it sounds cool and all, but have you seen that show Cougar Town? DO NOT WANT.

[re=456765]donner_froh[/re]: In fairness, they began their violent campaign of nationalist-tinged jihad like waaay before American Pie came out.

bathalax November 12, 2009 at 1:27 pm

MILF has been a pain in the ass for the Philippine government

SmutBoffin November 12, 2009 at 1:30 pm

HaHa! Speaking of MIL(n)F, it looks like ol’ Orly Taitz may have had an extramarital affair.

“But really and truly, Orly’s better in bed than 99% of the much younger girls I’ve ever met: you name it, hotter hornier, wetter, tighter…”

ifthethunderdontgetya" November 12, 2009 at 1:31 pm

[re=456767]Oldskool[/re]: Tropic Thunder is awesome!
~

thefrontpage November 12, 2009 at 1:35 pm

I want to be kidnapped and sexually-taken-advantage-of by a gang of Phillipines MILFS!!! I’m not paying for it, though.

Click November 12, 2009 at 1:52 pm

[re=456898]bathalax[/re]: And Catholic priests have been a pain in the ass for….

I-man November 12, 2009 at 2:42 pm

I love the headline, but yeah, definitely don’t want to be kidnapped by any militia/militant/terrorist group in southeast Asia. Milfs or no Milfs. Kudos to them for having a sexier sounding name than Ilaga and for not eating their victims…that I know off.

Lionel Hutz Esq. November 12, 2009 at 3:30 pm

I had a girl friend once that liked playing a game where she was a Filipino MILF and I was a Priest and she would then kidnap and sexually release me all evening.

Good times…, Good times.

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