• February 12, 2012

Guess what your Barack Obama picked up in South America? Oh nothing, just a tae kwon do black belt given to him by South Korean President Lee Myung-bak, also a black belt. Barry posed for exactly one (1) photo in which he curled his fingers into a loose ball and raised his arm in a vague forward gesture, and now what, we’re just supposed to suddenly find him qualified to teach our kids martial arts after school?? Someone please award the belt posthumously to Ronald Reagan. [Top of the Ticket]

{ 61 comments }

Mild Midwesterner November 19, 2009 at 9:33 am

Obama: How did you do that? How did you do that?
Lee Myung-bak: Don’t know. First time.

Noodle Salad November 19, 2009 at 9:38 am

Sarah Palin doesn’t know karate, but she knows ka-razy.

mumblyjoe November 19, 2009 at 9:40 am

I can only assume that this means he’s now fully prepared for the impending no-holds-barred deathmatch against Putin.

MLHencken November 19, 2009 at 9:40 am

Please Barry, don’t hurt ‘em.

kewlguy42069 November 19, 2009 at 9:43 am

hey Wonkette person, if Obama visted South America he’d be receiving an honorary Latinofascist set of olive drabs, from Mexican Hitler. What’s with this ching-chong black belt shit?

queeraselvis v 2.0 November 19, 2009 at 9:44 am

Meh. If Walnuts had been elected president, Lee would’ve awarded him a black baby.

gjdodger November 19, 2009 at 9:45 am

Black belt, eh? More proof that Hopey hates white people.

freakishlystrong November 19, 2009 at 9:45 am

Top of the ticket is a mite dickish. Just sayin’…

Oldskool November 19, 2009 at 9:45 am

Perfect time for someone to give Rethugs a tae kwon No belt.

Terry November 19, 2009 at 9:45 am

[re=462297]mumblyjoe[/re]:

Putin will have to get him trading shots of vodka first.

Yaybuls November 19, 2009 at 9:46 am

This picture makes me feel like Michelle during one of their “fisting” sessions.

magic titty November 19, 2009 at 9:48 am

Speaking of Souvenirs, I knew a guy named Souvenir. He was Haitian. Obviously.

[re=462296]Noodle Salad[/re]: Thanks. Nothing like a little James Brown to get my monring going…

Mojobert November 19, 2009 at 9:48 am

He may be our first Black President but he has a bad case of White Man’s Overbite.

bitchincamaro November 19, 2009 at 9:49 am

If we could only get Lieberman on the receiving end of one those punches, I’d be tickled.

Norbert November 19, 2009 at 9:50 am

Chuck Norris is about to get some more Return of the Dragon treatment.

norbizness November 19, 2009 at 9:55 am

He’s going as Dhalsim to the next White HOuse Halloween bash.

nbawriter November 19, 2009 at 9:56 am

“I’m a karate man. I bleed on the inside.”

norbizness November 19, 2009 at 9:58 am

Now he can defend himself against the Emperor of Japan rather than cringing and bowing in abject fealty to him and giving him his lunch money. /wingnut

ManchuCandidate November 19, 2009 at 9:59 am

That belt is a serious honor from Korea. A symbolic gesture of “Don’t fuck with this guy.”

In the early days of the ROK’s service in Vietnam, a ROK infantry unit made up of Taekwondo experts entered a VC occupied village and destroyed it with their hands and feet.

bjkeefe November 19, 2009 at 10:00 am

I give it about fifteen more minutes before Malkkkin puts up a post saying, “If one of us had given Obama a black belt, the far left would be saying it was RAAAACIST.”

bjkeefe November 19, 2009 at 10:02 am

Also, how long until some Villager Concern Troll asks, “But is the belt actually black enough?”

Servo November 19, 2009 at 10:03 am

Anything for Mrs. Hopey from Kum Suk Jewelry? Yes, the place did exist when I was at Osan AFB.

The Church of Realism November 19, 2009 at 10:05 am

That settles it, Barry is indeed the Last Dragon, Bruce Leeroy.

magic titty November 19, 2009 at 10:06 am

[re=462314]nbawriter[/re]: “But you wouldn’t know that, cuz you’re a big Barry White-lookin’ motherfucker.”

Berkeley Bear November 19, 2009 at 10:08 am

Manchu makes a good point. TKD is pretty close to a state religion in the ROK, and at the highest levels promotion has as much to do with contributions to society as it does martial arts. Still, maybe he should have beat down a few Palin/Cheney/Rove effigies to prove his mettle.

Plus, Elvis and Kareem both were black belts (not in TKD), and they never smacked a fly out of thin air in a live interview.

queeraselvis v 2.0 November 19, 2009 at 10:10 am

[re=462317]bjkeefe[/re]: Or in Malkin’s case, Evlyone’s a ritter bit lacist, amirite?

Simba B November 19, 2009 at 10:11 am

[re=462317]bjkeefe[/re]: Ffffff. Not clicking on that link. Nope, nagonnadoit.

mumblyjoe November 19, 2009 at 10:13 am

Also: does it make me a racist if I find that photo ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING?

rmontcal November 19, 2009 at 10:18 am

I think that picture is Pres. Obama fighting the power at last night’s Public Enemy show.

hunter.blatherer November 19, 2009 at 10:20 am

This is nothing compared to the samurai sword he got from the emperor, or the iron cross from Angela Merkel.

joezoo November 19, 2009 at 10:26 am

“Black Dynamite 2″ poster: made.

frailamerica November 19, 2009 at 10:27 am

[re=462297]mumblyjoe[/re]: Sadly, Judo > Taekwondo

Larry McAwful November 19, 2009 at 10:30 am

Everybody was health care fighting
With stats that were real frightening
And doomsayers on the right wing,
So-called “experts” on FoxNews, sliming.

Larry McAwful November 19, 2009 at 10:32 am

[re=462308]magic titty[/re]: That would be a great name! If you had it, you could run into someone you hadn’t seen for a while who’d maybe say, “I know you, but I forget your name.” You’d reply, “Souvenir.” “I’m trying, but I can’t. What is it?” “Souvenir.” (See, “souvenir” is French for “to remember.” Maybe this is only funny if you speak French. Well, anyway.)

proudgrampa November 19, 2009 at 10:33 am

“he curled his fingers into a loose ball and raised his arm in a vague forward gesture”

Christ, at first I thought you meant he did this:

http://photography.nationalgeographic.com/photography/photos/olympics-history-gallery/black-power-salute.html

geminisunmars November 19, 2009 at 10:34 am

[re=462302]freakishlystrong[/re]: Just a mite. And smarmy too.

CycloneArmageddon November 19, 2009 at 10:35 am

Barry would beat zombie-Reagan’s ass any day of the week. ANY DAY WINGNUTZ.

Lorax November 19, 2009 at 10:36 am

Having staged more than my fair share of political events/photos that place a high value on sybmolism, I must humbly point out and salute the close-up, in-your-face reminder to the world that Our Fearless Leader is happily married.

Kiss the ring, bitches!

TGY November 19, 2009 at 10:40 am

Oh, good. Now Barry can keep his pants up.

Gumboz1953 November 19, 2009 at 10:43 am

He got a mean look, him. Glad to be at Foggy Bottom, far away from his black-belted wrath.

Mr Blifil November 19, 2009 at 10:45 am

[re=462345]Lorax[/re]: That’s his wedding ring? I assumed he had obtained possession of the One Ring.

JesusButter November 19, 2009 at 10:46 am

My preznit is HAWT.

CthuNHu November 19, 2009 at 10:48 am

…and that was the last thing John Boehner ever saw.

Aflac Shrugged November 19, 2009 at 10:49 am

The failure of free-trade negotiations apparently came down to an eleventh-hour challenge, in which President Lee Myung-Bak offered to accede to all of the U.S.’ terms, provided that Obama could seize the pebble from his palm before he closed the fingers of his hand.

Monsieur Grumpe November 19, 2009 at 11:01 am

People everywhere are so excited with the idea of adding a new Hopey™ doll to their collection with Kung Fu Grip!

Lascauxcaveman November 19, 2009 at 11:06 am

[re=462330]mumblyjoe[/re]: No, that makes you a white grandmother.

deecaffeinated November 19, 2009 at 11:08 am

“the rookie American president”? As opposed to the old 8th and 9th termers, or what? I feel like most presidents are new to the whole ~president of the United States~ thing

Teds Famous Kickin Chicken November 19, 2009 at 11:15 am

[re=462296]Noodle Salad[/re]: Doggonit, it’s not “ka-razy”, it’s “ka-razor”. Sarah Palin, just like James Brown, just wants to cut a bitch.

Jim89048 November 19, 2009 at 11:20 am

[re=462344]CycloneArmageddon[/re]: Unless Zombie reagan is wearing his Hai Karate, because we all know how well that shit worked.

Pithaughn November 19, 2009 at 11:23 am

[re=462321]Servo[/re]: That’s funny. In this podunk town we have Cun Stars. Say that 5 times fast, during the coffee fellowship after the 11:30 Methodist service.

bago November 19, 2009 at 11:29 am

[re=462349]Gumboz1953[/re]: If you call a few blocks down K street “far”.

mumblyjoe November 19, 2009 at 11:29 am

[re=462377]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Does that also explain my overwhelming urge to slowly hand that man my wallet?

PlanetWingnuta November 19, 2009 at 11:38 am

am i wrong for wishing that Barry go to Fox studios and started handing out fatalities like he was in Mortal Kombat?

das gelbe gehfar November 19, 2009 at 12:19 pm

I knew it! He is totally Black Dynamite.

“First Lady, I’m sorry I pimp-slapped you into the china cabinet.”

Cape Clod November 19, 2009 at 1:03 pm

Bursting into Rush’s studio and giving him an epic beatdown would make for the greatest single radio program in history.

TVarmy November 19, 2009 at 1:11 pm

Did they at least hook up some electrodes to his brain and drag and drop some kung-fu files? Because otherwise, NOBAMA IS RUINING THE SACREDNESS OF THE HONOR! WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR KIDS WHO WENT TO CLASS FOR LIKE 3 YEARS TO GET THIS AWARD?!?

Extemporanus November 19, 2009 at 1:26 pm

“I know kung fu.”

[re=462371]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Get yours while supplies last!

[re=462537]Cape Clod[/re]: “Thanks, and I’ll take my ass kicking of you off the air.”

blather.rinse.repeat November 19, 2009 at 1:26 pm

needs more Blingee, also.

bjkeefe November 19, 2009 at 5:01 pm

[re=462328]Simba B[/re]: Oh, not to worry. Just a Google results page.

Suds McKenzie November 19, 2009 at 6:53 pm

Enter the Muslin.

LowerdPeninsula November 20, 2009 at 12:31 am

I guess I’m the only one who thinks Obama habitually looks like a turtle?

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: