CNN = law jernalism! Ha ha ha “why isn’t Tiger Woods talking to the public and everyone about why he hit a fire hydrant and a tree on his property? A little birdie tells Jeffrey Toobin the hot sex secrets…” [CNN]
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{ 49 comments }
Judging by the photo, the glove does fit!
CNN just OJ-asmed!
Well, I’d be embarrassed too to admit my wife beat me up
“Toobin: Woods may not talk to them because there is possibly something unpleasant and embarrassing that he doesn’t want to share with them…”
Now THAT gets the “NoSHITSherlock! Award!!”
Just yesterday CNN’s web site had a story about how people might get their news about Tiger Woods from non-journalistic sensationalist media outlets. Good thing I read that yesterday so I knew not to click on CNN today.
Elin beat up Tiger because he was spending too much time playing video games . . .
[re=467929]Way Cool Larry[/re]: She is Wiking, you know.
Tiger may have had a “World According to Garp” moment. This is what passes for news in US America.
A JUNIOR legal analyst could never have come up with that insightful nugget.
Smart Florida (contradiction!) money is going into gated and domed communities. No longer will those “this dude must be guilty because we have a live feed from the hovering chopper” reports be an issue. Call me, I gots ideas!
Tiger Woods is a great golf star. What he does with his woodie is none of our business. Haha, I typed “woodie”.
Alright. When does CNN get a particle physicist to inform us all that in fact, water is wet?
I hope Nancy Grace gets involved.
Today must be “obvious day.” Tiger Woods doesn’t want to talk to the police because something private might be disclosed, and Sarah Palin is popular with listeners of Rush and Beck.
This just in: Water is wet!
See, when I do something stupid but not worthy of law-enforcement involvement, I call a press conference and talk about it in great detail. For inspiration in handling stupid AND law-enforcement worthy, I check with Rush Limbaugh.
You know, until I saw this, I still had a shred of respect for Jeffrey Toobin.
This is the kind of journalism that can get you a great job in the flourishing field of newspaper writing — Jeff Toobin, please send your resume and writing sample to Dan Balz at the Washington Post.
Women Talk of Rain
Phone Rings in Empty Room
He’s afraid that if he speaks publicly, the c-word will slip out.
Probably one of those sex games pro golfers play that got out of hand.
[re=467936]shadowMark[/re]: Zevran ain’t outta the Woods yet.
[re=467965]Come here a minute[/re]: Balz? Puts!
These media folks are just obsessed with Wood’s refusal to talk to investigators. Man, the guy’s acting like he’s got a constitutional right to remain silent rather than answering every question the cops have or something.
Contrary to previous reports, the fate of Schrodinger’s Cat remains unknown.
How long do we have to wait until we get an estimate of the curvature of his penis, excuse me, I meant dingle-dong so as not to offend.
Sad thing is, Jeffery Toobin is one of the smartest people working for a cable channel today. His legal analyses for the New Yorker are frequently brilliant. Sigh…
I followed the CNN link and there was a link to another CNN article “Tiger Woods – a true sporting legend.”
[re=467929]Way Cool Larry[/re]:
I wonder if his wife maybe in line for some spousal abuse charges. That would be a wee bit embarassing all around.
They’re guessing Ambien episode over at the Salon boards. If it was Ambien plus, say, pot, I could see why he’d want to hold off talking to the cops.
Just think of all the great hard news stories they’ll get to ignore while they overplay this budding story-of-the-century of the week.
Golf Clubs are like the jaws of life in Sweden.
[re=467996]Mr Blifil[/re]: It doglegs left just before you get to the hole.
[re=467999]jagorev[/re]: [re=467960]imissopus[/re]: I know, right? Toobin was one of the only things worth watching on CNN.
What wood did Mrs. Wood use on Mr. Woods wood?
Tiger does not want to explain why he was driving a Cadillac when he is sponsored by Buick.
[re=468108]Extemporanus[/re]: Yes, but Par 3 or Par 5?
[re=468108]Extemporanus[/re]: Beautiful shot.
Tiger may not be talking because his mouth hurts.
Doesn’t Super-Toobin have his own mistress/love child drama?
I was so moved by the touching Hallmark-worthy story of Tiger and the Escalade that I wrote a poem about it.
Woods has also pulled out of his own golf tournament today, citing injuries…
[re=467929]Way Cool Larry[/re]: Tiger’s been dead for three days and his wife is doing a smokescreen while she arranges some finances before skipping the country with her lover, Colin Montgomerie.
[re=467956]Hedley Lamar[/re]: Apparently Gloria Allred has been retained by The Other Woman. Close enough?
[re=468132]cybervoyeur[/re]: A baffing spoon, right in the ol’ gutta-percha beanbag…winter rules (preferred “lies”), of course.
Hello this is OnStar calling. Our sensors indicate you have had an accident after being chased by a wife swinging a golfclub. We have lawyers on the way. Please lie still and pretend you are dead until they get there.
I’m black, so I can nominate a white female as an honorary black woman. That Nordic bitch went “Berserker” on his philandering ass. She hit him in his hussy-licking pie hole with a fucking three wood. I’m loving it. She put his cheating ass into fucking REM sleep. What a woman!!!
[re=467999]jagorev[/re]: Wait…i knew the name sounded familiar…this is the same dude that rights for the New Yorker?!?! Does he just dumb it down for CNN, or is there a split personality thing going on??
She played a fade on his mouf.
i remember the first time my wife beat me into unconsciousness. I, too, got caught fucking a big ol six foot blond. Whatta you gonna do. Like me and Tiger are NOT gonna fuck a six foot blond…
Tiger got his ass beat. He taught grasshopper too well. Now, she is the Highlander, errr, I mean, pro-golfer.
BTW, Tiger crashed his SUV into a neighbor’s tree, from what I can gather. But, regardless, it’d still be news because whatever the troubles were left the house and property once they hit the street. Once your personal shit starts to effects others and their surroundings, it’s fair game as far as I’m concerned. The whole scenario that he put out there of her running with a golf club to his aid is just adorable. She was trying to beat Woods with the wood ’till the white meat showed.
[re=468502]CanadianBacon[/re]: WIN
This is not what Tiger meant when he said “Honey, do you want to go to the club?”
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