• February 11, 2012

Oh goodie, it’s another edition of “minor Southern political figures typing on the Internet about Barack Obama.” The thick head of hair over here, Mayor Russell Wiseman of Memphis suburb Arlington, got all hot and bothered on his Facebook the other night during the death speech: “Ok, so, this is total crap, we sit the kids down to watch ‘The Charlie Brown Christmas Special’ and our muslim president is there, what a load…..try to convince me that wasn’t done on purpose. Ask the man if he believes that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and he will give you a 10 minute disertation (sic) about it….w…hen the answer should simply be ‘yes’….” But what is more Christian an act than re-declaring Holy War on the Mohammeds again forever? [Memphis Commercial Appeal]

{ 155 comments }

MLHencken December 4, 2009 at 12:28 pm

less teeth, more hair.

SayItWithWookies December 4, 2009 at 12:30 pm

What an idiot — if Jesus was the son of God, that makes God some sort of Middle Easterner. And we all know God is blond and blue-eyed and wears an Evel Knievel suit.

SlouchingTowardsWasilla December 4, 2009 at 12:30 pm

At least he didn’t say “muslin.”

Cape Clod December 4, 2009 at 12:31 pm

With a name like Wiseman, why does he give a shit about Christmas?

memzilla December 4, 2009 at 12:31 pm

So, his solution is, we should sic Lucy van Pelt on Osama bin Laden?

Way Cool Larry December 4, 2009 at 12:33 pm

maybe a better item would be a southern wingnut politician who DOESN’T believe Obama is a muslim?

CrunchyKnee December 4, 2009 at 12:34 pm

Pig Pen is a muslin!!!!!1111!

ivenson December 4, 2009 at 12:34 pm

“you know, our forefathers had it written in the original Constitution that ONLY property owners could vote, if that has stayed in there, things would be different……..”

This is the stupidest originalist nonsense ever. You wouldn’t have missed seeing that cartoon you like so bad if not for the fact that renters got the vote?

queeraselvis v 2.0 December 4, 2009 at 12:34 pm

Better still, this: “At another point he said, “you know, our forefathers had it written in the original Constitution that ONLY property owners could vote, if that has stayed in there, things would be different……..”

Translation: We would still have a right-thinking, conservative, WHITE CHRISTIAN president if it weren’t for all those meddling liberals, niggers, fags, and wetbacks.

V572625694 December 4, 2009 at 12:35 pm

[re=471873]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Worse yet, there’s a rumor Jeebus was Jew!

Loved the Reebus Canebus pic.

http://www.tafinn.com/andyfinn-us/audio%20files/firesign-theatre/firesign-theater-clips.htm

queeraselvis v 2.0 December 4, 2009 at 12:35 pm

[re=471875]SlouchingTowardsWasilla[/re]: Oh it’s there, in the comments. If you can stomach them.

dum librul December 4, 2009 at 12:36 pm

60% of the current vote at the linked site answered: “Mayor Wiseman speaks for a lot of Americans who are frustrated with the President.”

Clearly there are no Arlingtons worth preserving outside the one with the dead famous people.

norbizness December 4, 2009 at 12:36 pm

I think the mayor’s last name may file a deceptive advertising lawsuit against himself.

AxmxZ December 4, 2009 at 12:36 pm

disertation, n.: that thing people get shot for during the war, i reckon…

Larry McAwful December 4, 2009 at 12:36 pm

If this wiseguy cared about capitalism at all, he would have purchased his own copy of “A Charlie Brown Christmas” years ago, so he and his brood wouldn’t have to check the listings.

Anyway, I don’t remember this clod grousing when George W. Bush preĆ«mpted “A Charlie Brown Eid” three years ago.

DickTaterPeeNoShay December 4, 2009 at 12:37 pm

[re=471881]CrunchyKnee[/re]: No way Pig Pen could pass a Halal food inspection.

AxmxZ December 4, 2009 at 12:37 pm

Truly, nomen non est omen.

Nigerian Business Executive December 4, 2009 at 12:37 pm

I’d totally hit it, on the condition that he not talk.

Terry December 4, 2009 at 12:38 pm

Did you see the poll with that article? Apparently 60% of the readers of that paper think that the mayors comments are fine and dandy.

To the Mayor, buy yourself a copy of the movie on DVD and your kids can watch it over and over. Some of us think that the decision to send 30,000 more troops to Afghanistan is rather important. Did you even know that’s what the speech was about? Probably not, given the content of your screed, you don’t appear to be a brain surgeon.

Johnny Zhivago December 4, 2009 at 12:38 pm

What in the Sam Hill is he talking about?

I know a lot of mooslims that watch Charlie Brown: A Christmas Special!

canadasteve December 4, 2009 at 12:40 pm

Good muslin heavens!

Nigerian Business Executive December 4, 2009 at 12:41 pm

OBAMA IS THE ABU IBN GRINCH WHO STOLE CHRISTMAS, SHEEPLE!!!!!

Hooray For Anything December 4, 2009 at 12:41 pm

I’m going to have to give this guy a break on this one– preempting a ‘Charlie Brown’s Christmas Special’ was pretty cold.

shortsshortsshorts December 4, 2009 at 12:42 pm

Why can’t Barry just proclaim he’s a muslim and start this much-needed genocide?

CaliforniaMike December 4, 2009 at 12:43 pm

Thank God Prez’nit Muslin wasn’t around back in the day to preempt the “Green Acres Christmas Special.” Otherwise we would have missed the tender moments when they roasted Arnold Ziffle, when Eva Gabor tenderly took Eb’s virginity and when Mister Haney cornholed Sam Drucker while singing Christmas carols.

ivenson December 4, 2009 at 12:44 pm

[re=471896]bondwooley[/re]: Are you the one that sells tracksuits?

shadowMark December 4, 2009 at 12:44 pm

We can expect another rant from this guy if he sits the kids down tonight to watch the final episode of Monk and it turns out that Stottlemeyer killed Trudy.

iantenna December 4, 2009 at 12:44 pm

bon voyage charlie brown is a way better movie anyways.

Another DC Lawyer (Again) December 4, 2009 at 12:44 pm

Look, here’s the thing Mayor, your kids probably HATE the Charlie Brown Christmas Special. I’ve been trying to get my kids to watch it for years. The animation is boring to them, they are perturbed Charlie Brown doesn’t transform into a robot, and they don’t recognize the genius of the Vince Guaraldi score or recognize what a groundbreaking work of music it was at the time. Even worse, they don’t realize that this is all about their parents’ attempts to recapture an earlier, more innocent, time of their lives. So. Trust me, Barry did you a favor and allowed you to further, for however short a time period, the fantasy that your children like and respect you…becasue no one else does….

proudgrampa December 4, 2009 at 12:44 pm

To paraphrase Dorothy Parker, this idiot should not be thrown aside lightly. He should be thrown aside with great force.

bago December 4, 2009 at 12:45 pm

The poor sacrifice this man has made. A MOTHERFUCKING WAR interrupted his cartoon!

Lefty Lucy December 4, 2009 at 12:45 pm

[re=471883]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: And don’t forget the damned bitches.

betterDeadThanRed December 4, 2009 at 12:46 pm

Just one more item in my list of “Print is dead”

The fact that something that considers itself a “Newspaper” felt that what some local wingnut official said on his Facebook page is news saddens me.

Bye bye journalism. I think I’m going to cry now.

germansteel December 4, 2009 at 12:46 pm

Get that guy a hair piece for Xmas, for X’s sake!!!

magic titty December 4, 2009 at 12:46 pm

Allah will take care of this shitbird doodz. No worries.

SayItWithWookies December 4, 2009 at 12:50 pm

[re=471908]CaliforniaMike[/re]: And I sure hope our president doesn’t preempt my favorite special of this season, “An Ethan Frome Christmas.” The sledding scene is to die for — or at least get horribly crippled and disfigured for.

JMP December 4, 2009 at 12:51 pm

He sat his kids down to watch the special and was shocked that Obama’s speech came on instead. I guess Obama and the news should have publicized the upcoming speech for a few days ahead of time, that way only complete morons wouldn’t have realized network shows were going to be preempted.

red sky December 4, 2009 at 12:51 pm

[re=471883]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: You left out women.

Also, I knew Henry Rollins was always an angry guy, but when did he become a racist.

le petit mort December 4, 2009 at 12:51 pm

[re=471881]CrunchyKnee[/re]: I think you mean Franklin is a muslin!!1!!1! After all, he was the Peanuts person of the mud.

sezme December 4, 2009 at 12:51 pm

Oh, was that President Obama? I just assumed that Franklin had a bigger part this year.

kungfusheriff December 4, 2009 at 12:52 pm

Georgia elected a black lesbian state legislator. Arlington elected a retard. Affirmative action works!

Larry McAwful December 4, 2009 at 12:52 pm

[re=471915]Another DC Lawyer (Again)[/re]: When I was a kid, back in the 1970s, Vince Guaraldi’s music always sparked lively discussions that led all four of the McAwful children to go sifting through back issues of Downbeat to either make or back up our arguments on the time signature of Linus and Lucy. My brother would say, “Guaraldi has nothing on Chick Corea,” and then I’d call Corea a hack, and then he’d punch me and then Mom would send us to bed before Charlie Brown bought the tree.

Anyway: kids today are all philistines.

AnnieGetYourFun December 4, 2009 at 12:53 pm

[re=471883]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: How… how do these people function? I mean, breathing seems like it would be a bit of a struggle, but how do they get their pants on in the morning with nary a brain cell to be found?

TubeCity December 4, 2009 at 12:56 pm

Think of the message Obama would have sent to our enemies, if he had delayed announcing the despatch of 30,000 additional troops, in order not to disrupt an old cartoon show.

comicbookguy December 4, 2009 at 12:56 pm

We need to go back to the way our forefathers intended. When Paul Revere rode into town shouting, “The British are coming!” and everyone was at Ben Franklin’s house watching cartoons, told him to STFU.

Looking forward to next week’s facebook update: “Oh, it’s on now. Nevermind.”

Georgia Burning December 4, 2009 at 12:56 pm

3rd-tier suburb mayor is a stupid Repug bigot who doesn’t know what the Constitution says. When’s he running for governor?

SlouchingTowardsWasilla December 4, 2009 at 12:56 pm

Oh, the South will rise again…just not any time soon.

KilgoreTrout_XL December 4, 2009 at 12:58 pm

“Education: …; graduate of Arlington Elementary School.” Not kidding. Also:
“Hobbies: Jogging, spending time with family, late night movies with friends.”

Fuck yeah group porno.

Larry McAwful December 4, 2009 at 12:59 pm

[re=471943]SlouchingTowardsWasilla[/re]: Not until the next commercial break, anyway. Then it will rise for more Mr. Pibb and to get more mayonnaise to spread on their po’ boys.

binarian December 4, 2009 at 12:59 pm

[re=471933]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Just don’t go read the comments, it’ll TOTALLY ruin your day…

Mustang December 4, 2009 at 1:01 pm

Don’t worry Mr. Balding Badly! A Charlie Brown Christmas will be on 47 more times over the next month. In the meantime, your kids could…oh, I dunno…read a BOOK? Or maybe engage in some wholesome Christian activities you seem to enjoy like name-calling and hatred.

magic titty December 4, 2009 at 1:01 pm

[re=471883]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Don’t forget wimminz.

Barcode of the Apocalypse December 4, 2009 at 1:01 pm

Gay pedophile. Notice that he doesn’t say WHOSE kids he’s sitting down to watch Charlie Brown Christmas. And, this is a kids’ show — why is he sitting there surrounded by his lovely boys when he could have been watching WWE and drinking beer like a real man.

Gorillionaire December 4, 2009 at 1:02 pm

[re=471932]Larry McAwful[/re]: Don’t know how the family stayed together after that Cecil Taylor album came home.

Hooray For Anything December 4, 2009 at 1:02 pm

[re=471926]JMP[/re]: Well, it’s not like he has a profession that lends itself towards paying attention to the news

AxmxZ December 4, 2009 at 1:02 pm

[re=471945]KilgoreTrout_XL[/re]: Friends : plugs :: Wiseman : power strip

queeraselvis v 2.0 December 4, 2009 at 1:03 pm

[re=471938]TubeCity[/re]: My thoughts exactly. Only I was imagining the Republican hue and cry if Barry had “dithered” so that Charlie Brown could save Christmas for the 40th year in a row.

BeWoot December 4, 2009 at 1:04 pm

[re=471933]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Check that picture again. See any pants?

I am so sorry now I even had that thought. Oh no. There it was again.

RoscoePColtraine December 4, 2009 at 1:04 pm

I believe the entire library of Charlie Brown Holiday Special can be yours to view anytime you damn well please, by going to the store and spending roughly $30.

This guy wanted to see the “free” version on tee-vee. He’s a socialist, plain and simple. Why does he want to take away the hard earned royalties from the folks who made that awesome piece of tv nostalgia?

queeraselvis v 2.0 December 4, 2009 at 1:06 pm

[re=471883]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: [re=471953]magic titty[/re]: [re=471927]red sky[/re]: [re=471918]Lefty Lucy[/re]: Sorry sorry sorry! AND WOMYNZ TOO.

Manos: Hands of Fate December 4, 2009 at 1:06 pm

Check out the online poll. “Mayor Wiseman speaks for a lot of Americans who are frustrated with te president” (i.e. Mayor Wiseman speaks for white bubbas who hate black people doing anything besides being linebackers)is leading by at least 15 points.

thefrontpage December 4, 2009 at 1:06 pm

What a wingnut psycho! He should either resign from office, or he should be forced out of office. Anyone this stupid, moronic, juvenile, childish and imbecilic should not be holding a public office, and should not be mayor. What a wingnut!

Scarab December 4, 2009 at 1:07 pm

He’s the mayor of a city called Memphiswith a huge pyramid, who is the real Muslim?

coolcatdaddy December 4, 2009 at 1:08 pm

Excuse me, Mr. Mayor? Have you considered a thorough psychiatric examination to check into those delusions you seem to be having about some kind of Muslim in the White House doing things to your television?

GuyClinch December 4, 2009 at 1:08 pm

See, Obama’s muslin father contrived to have birth announcements placed in Hawaii so his spawn could one day become president and pre-empt Charlie Brown Xmas. Obama’s job is done; hand it over to Biden.

DickTaterPeeNoShay December 4, 2009 at 1:10 pm

Of course the network always had the option of not carrying the speech if they thought Charlie Brown would be a absolute ratings bonanza. Take that Mr. Capitalism!

S.Luggo December 4, 2009 at 1:15 pm

More from Russ’s FaceBook rant:

ā€œyou know, our forefathers had it written in the original Constitution that ONLY property owners could vote, if that has stayed in there, things would be different……..ā€

Well, dang-it, someone had to say it.

Link: http://originalist.tumblr.com/post/269206250/russell-wiseman-tennessee-mayor-assails-muslim

SmutBoffin December 4, 2009 at 1:15 pm

Fuckin’ fuck. The narrative here is just…dumb.

1) Man gets mad at TV for not showing Charlie Brown.
2) Blames Muslims, particularly imaginary ones.
3) Receives accolades from racists and those who are spacetimewarpingly stupid.

I mean, I was once irked as a child that a speech by Ronald Reagan about, I dunno, arms-limitations treaties or something preempted the Dukes of Hazzard, BUT I WAS 7 YEARS OLD.

queeraselvis v 2.0 December 4, 2009 at 1:18 pm

[re=471967]Scarab[/re]: Actually, Wiseman rules over the hamlet of Arlington, about 30 miles (and a million years) away from Memphis. Not to say that Memphis hasn’t had its share of certifiably insane politicians, but this wingnut is on the short bus by himself.

Manos: Hands of Fate December 4, 2009 at 1:18 pm

[re=471976]S.Luggo[/re]: We also know who else they thought should have the exclusive right to vote.

SmutBoffin December 4, 2009 at 1:19 pm

[re=471976]S.Luggo[/re]: This is known in suit-wearing white male circles as “being a stand up guy” and “telling it like it is”.

CapnFatback December 4, 2009 at 1:21 pm

Mayor Wiseman is just repressing. He’s really acting out cuz Linus gives all those props to the shepherds in his big “spotlight speech” (who was operating the lights, anyway?) and Wiseman’s three ancestors get diddly-dick.

vitamins taken helmet on December 4, 2009 at 1:21 pm

Best comment on a comment ever:

In response to sgtsawzall:

“Arlington must be pround”

know where knot

MameDennis December 4, 2009 at 1:22 pm

Mayor Russell Wiseman is a blockhead.

sarcasticusername December 4, 2009 at 1:22 pm

[re=471882]ivenson[/re]: i think what he’s trying to say, is that under the old rules we never would have had a nigger president; but he was probably worried that people might think he was a racist or something.

IceIceBaby December 4, 2009 at 1:23 pm

Well, Charlie Brown *is* the reason for the season, so he has a point.

Zadig December 4, 2009 at 1:23 pm

[re=471886]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: The only thing that made me prouder of Memphis than Wiseman’s facebook idiocy was the CA comment thread.

But seriously, the landowner clause statement? What more do you expect from the people who left Memphis city limits because blacks started BUYING property? Wiseman and his ilk honestly think that if the “landed” requirement for franchisement had never left, good decent (white) folk would still be living in Midtown and the poors would be sharecropping cotton in the outskirts, where they BELONG.

UGH.

Zadig December 4, 2009 at 1:25 pm

[re=471967]Scarab[/re]: He wants as little to do with Memphis as possible, actually. Too many darkies.

Cookie_Monster_Cupcake December 4, 2009 at 1:27 pm

This man is the poster child or why we need to bring the Digital Divide back, and STOP THE MADNESS OF WANTING BROADBAND INTERNET EVERYWHERE

Oldskool December 4, 2009 at 1:28 pm

His frat-boy face screams, “I’m a fucking idiot, sure, but I can work this smile like it’s nobodys bizness and that’s all that matters.”

slappypaddy December 4, 2009 at 1:31 pm

that face… those eyes… where have i seen him before?…

i have it! i met his great uncle once removed, in berlin, on crystal night, burning a jewish bookstore and beating the proprietor to death. i could be mistaken, but i’m pretty sure that’s who that was.

Buzz Feedback December 4, 2009 at 1:31 pm

Muslim is the new “n” word. Or maybe it’s the old one by now.

Extemporanus December 4, 2009 at 1:33 pm

Upon hearing about the birth of baby Jesus, this Wiseman came bearing a gift of Duhrrr?

Cape Clod December 4, 2009 at 1:34 pm

[re=471943]SlouchingTowardsWasilla[/re]: Yes the South will rise again. And the North will once again kick it in the nuts and say “Sit the fuck down.”

bureaucrap December 4, 2009 at 1:34 pm

He has the type of neck that indicates that he played football at his regionally-accredited bible college (could it have been college of the Ozarks? Maybe!). Those boys are always bottoms.

Cyg.net December 4, 2009 at 1:36 pm

If you’re in a harassin’ kinda mood, the phone # to his office is 901-867-1067

And he uses an aol email??? russwise@aol.com

Have fun!

Zadig December 4, 2009 at 1:39 pm

[re=472013]Cape Clod[/re]: Are you sure? Why the shit would the North even WANT us anymore?

BigDupa December 4, 2009 at 1:43 pm

I always wondered what happened to “Psycho” err Francis from “Stripes.”

queeraselvis v 2.0 December 4, 2009 at 1:44 pm

[re=471995]Zadig[/re]: Oh please, like Russ would ever live in Midtown. Waaaaaaaaay too close to Mississippi and aforesaid darkies for his comfort. Also, fun fact: until fairly recently, Arlington residents haven’t been anything but cotton farmers and their (ahem) “hired hands,” so the whole sharecropping thing was TOTALLY THEIR ECONOMY.

comicbookguy December 4, 2009 at 1:45 pm

Charlie Brown died for your sins!

Terry December 4, 2009 at 1:46 pm

Take a look at the suggested photo gallery’s on that web page, down on the lower right. They have a lovely photo gallery of a Klan rally. I’m not kidding.

PsycGirl December 4, 2009 at 1:48 pm

I was considering a suggestion that we all order this guy his own copy of “A Charlie Brown Christmas” to be sent to his office, but I can’t figure out how I’d make any money off that suggestion.

NJB December 4, 2009 at 1:51 pm

This poor Christian, God fearing man had his family values moment ruined by that gay black muslin Manchurian pretend president, Hopey X, and all you can do is mock his pain.

The only solution is for all of us to book tickets on Dick Morris’ cruise – or hope to be converted to Right Wingism by that dumb shit-whistle who thinks AOL is new and edgy. Only then will we be able to see the vast liberal/socialist conspiracy in all its nefarious evilness.

That and a few ounces of really fine opium treated sensimilla. That should do it.

ForTheTurnstiles December 4, 2009 at 1:52 pm

[re=472023]Zadig[/re]: Glad you’re onto that. Mostly we just want “y’all” to up and leave us alone. Here’s some sweet tea. Go and play with your sister.

(not you personally, but the Babble Belt generally)

Native of SL UT December 4, 2009 at 1:52 pm

I remember when I was a little 5 year old kid, back in 63, when my Saturday morning cartoons were interrupted so they could show some damn flag covered coffin being hauled down some street forever. Still pisses me off.

Creative Nickname December 4, 2009 at 1:54 pm

Ooh, another story about Memphis wingnuts/dingbats! As a Memphian, all I can say is, “Oh shit.” And also, “Help! Get me out of here!”

Sweet Baby Cheeses December 4, 2009 at 1:56 pm

Obama’s war speech is part of the war on Xmas. Who knew?

snideinplainsight December 4, 2009 at 1:56 pm

Just how would that conversation have gone, anyway? It’s like an SNL skit waiting to happen –

RING!

Intern: Hi, NBC, office of the head of programming. How can I help you?

RI: Hello, I’m Rahm Immanuel, Chief of Staff for the President.

I: Wow! Good day, sir! What can I do for you?

RI: Well, the Pres is going to lay out his new war strategy in a big speech some night this week. He intends to send a lot more troops to Afghanistan, and he’s hoping they war to death as many Muslims as possible, especially the radical ones (all of them). For about eighteen months. Then they’re all going to leave, so the Taliban, whosever left, can take over again.

I: I see sir.

RI: But listen kid; the President has instructed me to select a time for the speech which pre-empts the most Christmassy thing you got on your schedule this month. What can we totally wreck with an ‘unprecented’ prime-time address cutting into it?

I: Well, sir, we have The Sound of Music coming up on thursday…

RI: Nah, Sasha likes to sing along to that one. Plus the Pres thinks that young one, Freidrick, is kind of cute, especially when he wears those little shorts.

I: I see (gulp.) We have Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer on friday…

RI: NO NO NO, there’s no mention of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ in that one at all, that totally falls outside the mandate here, clearly.

I: The Pope’s midnight Mass from St. Peter’s, then?

RI: Everybody’s either in bed by then, or stuffing the stockings with care, you know what I mean? Plus, the Pope is a big contributor, you know.

I: All that’s left is ‘A Charlie Brown Christmas’.

RI: See, that’s great kid – it’s got “Christ” right in the title! It’s perfect!

I: But Mr. Immanuel Sir, please, please, you can’t do this! Think of the children! Think of all the little ones, whose only exposure ever to our Lord and Savior is this, this poorly-animated, plotless, but MUCH-BELOVED half-hour cartoon? (Not to mention snare brushes)

RI: You bleepity – bleepin’ little twerp!! Know your bleepin’place in the world! Put us right in the middle of that show, and you better do exactly what we tell you to do or I’m sending a bleep, bleep horse’s head over by special, Secret Service delivery! I’ve already asked Sprint for the GPS for your phone over there, kid. Your only option is to conform here, really.

I: No, no, NO!!! How did I become an instrument of this terrible, horrible regime!! What about the children, the children!!

finallyhappy December 4, 2009 at 1:57 pm

[re=471925]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I actually own that movie on VHS- I think Liam Neeson is in it. I mean “Ethan Frome”- I don’t have the jolly Christmas version because like Jesus, I am a Jew.

SkoalRebel December 4, 2009 at 1:59 pm

War on Christmas Specials.

ph7 December 4, 2009 at 2:05 pm

Barry is a tarbaby afterall. A nice, sticky, available blame catcher for all of life’s frustrations and disappointments. People don’t like killing Afghans as much as you? Throw the blame on that tarbaby Barry, and hope it sticks. People don’t love your team’s quaterback, Jesus, as much as you? Toss that blame on the tarbaby, too. He roots for the other team.

proudgrampa December 4, 2009 at 2:07 pm

[re=471932]Larry McAwful[/re]: I asked my 4-year old granddaughter. She agrees with you, Larry. Chick Corea was a hack.

doxastic December 4, 2009 at 2:10 pm

Rusty here is an inspiration to all Americans afflicted with receding brain-lines.

snideinplainsight December 4, 2009 at 2:10 pm

Hey, send the Mayor there a Freedom Tray, would you?

Barrelhse December 4, 2009 at 2:12 pm

Tennessee. Heh.

Neoyorquino December 4, 2009 at 2:14 pm

Mayor Russell Wiseman looks a lot like someone I’ve seen before (don’t know if he qualifies as dumb, or dumber):

http://thenastyboys.files.wordpress.com/2007/12/lloydchristmas.jpg

Guppy06 December 4, 2009 at 2:15 pm

Who actually owns property nowadays other than the banks?

And considering the federal constitution didn’t touch upon voting qualifications until Reconstruction, I’m guessing he’s talking about Tennessee’s original 1796 constitution…

But wait, we have the Googles! Tennessee’s 1796 constitution guaranteed the right to vote to men of age who’d lived in the state for over six months, regardless of whether they owned property. It was the “least imperfect and most republican of the state constitutions” according to Jefferson. Linkies!

But if he really, really, really wants to be all originalist, then I recommend we send his ass to Gitmo for claiming Hopey’s a mulsin, under the Sedition Act.

Flanders December 4, 2009 at 2:16 pm

[re=471964]Manos: Hands of Fate[/re]: that needs to be corrected, fellow warbloggers!

doxastic December 4, 2009 at 2:18 pm

Really? You are a mayor and you didn’t know that the President was going to give a major address on the new strategy in Afghanistan? Jesus Christ “Wiseman,” the church bulletin and Burger King tray liner cannot be your source for all relevant current events.

doxastic December 4, 2009 at 2:23 pm

[re=471976]S.Luggo[/re]: It’s rare to see someone who is disgusted by the 3/5ths compromise because it shafted white guys. I’m almost impressed.

Mr Blifil December 4, 2009 at 2:23 pm

Good Ol’ Charlie Brown, product of a borderline suicidal depressed mid-westerner. I guess Vince Guaraldi was pretty good at disguising all those negro influences in the Charlie Brown score, otherwise the good mayor and his snowflake children may have been discomfited. Did Franklin even exist when that special aired?

Ever see that PBS special on Schulz, where his son says he can’t even read the old strips anymore because all they remind him of is the loss of his childhood way of life? HE RUINED PEENUTZ FOR ME.

Hey I just made a funny: INSTEAD OF PEENUTZ HE SHOULD TRY TRUCKNUTZ

betterDeadThanRed December 4, 2009 at 2:24 pm

I just sent his phone number to a nice man who needs help in transferring $300,000,000 into the country.

snideinplainsight December 4, 2009 at 2:25 pm

Next up: The President delivers his big speech on his new global warming initiative and the Copenhagen agreement. Afterwards, we resume our special showing of “Old Yeller” as scheduled.

comicbookguy December 4, 2009 at 2:27 pm

[re=472077]Guppy06[/re]: And if only the banks could vote, how exactly would anything be different?

FMA December 4, 2009 at 2:54 pm

[re=471941]Georgia Burning[/re]: Or vice president.

Darkness December 4, 2009 at 2:58 pm

The scary bad man is controlling my teevee thing!
Five year old in man’s body. End of story. Yawn.

betterDeadThanRed December 4, 2009 at 3:04 pm

We should all chip in and send him a Charlie Brown Christmas Tree to cheer him up and calm him down.

Can O Whoopass December 4, 2009 at 3:04 pm

He’s the clown who complains to FOX about football running overtime cause he wants to watch, “60 Minutes”.

PineyWoodster December 4, 2009 at 3:07 pm

I’m a Texan, but idiots like this fellow make me glad the South lost the Civil War.

That and the whole ‘slavery is bad’ thing, also…

teebob2000 December 4, 2009 at 3:19 pm

[re=471884]V572625694[/re]: “And they do that, and that’s part of the fun of raising them.”

Ah, memories.

alkybookworm December 4, 2009 at 3:23 pm

Oh yes, it all brings back such fond memories…

We’d all sit in front of the old black and white, waiting for the strains of Vince Guaraldi’s music, while Dad was sitting on the sofa getting shit-faced drunk on mixed scotch. And at a special time in the show only known to him and he would pull out the old .45 from the war and start b;azing away at the set. And later, Mom would bail him out for illegal discharge of a firearm within city limits…

Ah, special times…

Capitol Hillbilly December 4, 2009 at 3:46 pm

you KNOW it was “done on purpose” …

Obama: OK, how can we ruin Christmas for the Wiseman family down there near Memphis?
Emanuel: Let’s pre-empt ‘A Charlie Brown Christmas.’ When they turn on the teevee to watch it, they will hear you capitulating to the Muslins instead!
Obama: Ha Ha, not bad for a Jew! We’ll snatch the football away just as they go to kick it!
Emanuel: They’ll be so devastated they won’t even be able to eat their teevee dinners!

confederette libtard December 4, 2009 at 3:47 pm

That muslin usurper TOUCHES fucking Frosty the Snowman, and it’s ON, bitches.

Memphis050505 December 4, 2009 at 4:05 pm

[re=471981]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Dang. I stepped out for a while, but you are holding our end up very well! I always wondered why there was never a special, “It’s the Flying Spaghetti Monster, Charlie Brown!”

ArthurTwoSheds December 4, 2009 at 4:47 pm

Wise-man??? More like Wise-ass!

Suds McKenzie December 4, 2009 at 4:49 pm

[re=472029]BigDupa[/re]: You interrupt Snoopy, I Kill Ya.

balsa_wood December 4, 2009 at 4:56 pm

I like that we live in an age where it’s okay for an elected official to write, “Okay, this is total crap.”

problemwithcaring December 4, 2009 at 5:00 pm

[re=472050]Sweet Baby Cheeses[/re]: He is stealth like that. Also, when you are muslim(sp), your mere presence in this country constitutes a war on Christmas, so it’s easy.

“…and on Earth peace, good will toward men’”. That’s what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.” Why don’t these darkie Muslin, commie sonofabitch obama people move to another country so that mah kids can hear a cartoon character utter this most important quote!!!! For America!!!1!

lochnessmonster December 4, 2009 at 5:16 pm

Mayor Russell Wiseman of Memphis suburb Arlington, got all hot and bothered on his Facebook

Mr. Wiseman is not being very WISE…more like a Wisenheimer…Someone needs to tell politicians that people can get this stuff from their Faceplacespace, copy it and use it against them later on when maybe THEY are thinking of running for President!

Itsjustme December 4, 2009 at 5:25 pm

Did they add something to the CB Christmas Special? Should have watched it last year ya asshole.

Starrigavan December 4, 2009 at 5:30 pm

Yes, it is a Muslim plot to ruin Christmas for those living in the Central Time Zone.

Of course Mayor Wiseman must be a Republican. Who else would think that the war in Afghanistan is less important than a Charlie Brown tevee special?

bigfatpantload December 4, 2009 at 5:55 pm

just when you start to think the wingnuts couldn’t possibly lower the bar any further…..

Snarkalicious December 4, 2009 at 6:44 pm

[re=471883]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: You left out wimmin folk. As is only right n’ proper. Hyuk hyuk hyuk.

BobTheBuilder December 4, 2009 at 6:47 pm

In Obama’s America they first came for “A Charlie Brown Christmas,”
and I didn’t speak up because I didn’t have cable…

comicbookguy December 4, 2009 at 7:31 pm

This is why you should never ever get between a wingnut and his television. Just sit them in front of their cartoons for the next 8 years while the grown ups clean up the mess they made. Here, have a “freedom” sippy cup.

Potater December 4, 2009 at 7:38 pm

[re=471905]Hooray For Anything[/re]: Barry actually didn’t. The network just decided to broadcast it on a different night. The next night.

Wiseguy ‘parently lacks a TV Guide.

Accordion-o-rama December 4, 2009 at 7:39 pm

[re=472270]ArthurTwoSheds[/re]: You owe asses an apology.

Potater December 4, 2009 at 7:43 pm

Alright, peeps, it seems sane people have taken over the internet poll. A whopping FIFTY FUCKING BILLION PERCENT say that our Holy Mayor’s comments were “embarassing.” Let’s send them a message and carpetbomb an internet poll! FREEDUMB!

engulfedinflames December 4, 2009 at 8:06 pm

[re=472046]Native of SL UT[/re]: True story: I had a girl friend who felt guilty and in some bizarre fashion responsible for JFK’s assassination because when he preempted her special program she voiced her hope that he’d soon be dead to her father, the governor, who was not amused. Wonder what ever happened to that lying ,thieving, psychotic little whore.

Zadig December 4, 2009 at 8:47 pm

But seriously, you guys? If you are an elected official, do not have a Facebook profile. There is no way that it will turn out well for you. And Twitter? For-fucking-get it. This is not snark. Elected Official people, remember this advice forever, and it will save you from a world of shit.

bonghitsforjesus December 4, 2009 at 8:55 pm

I’ve lived in Tennessee all my life and whenever I hear stories about some lobotomized good old boy with a big mouth acting a fool it’s always from some town in bumfuck egypt that I’ve never heard of. Then again, I live in the most liberal zip code in East Tennessee. Still, it’s good to be reminded that assholes like Mayor Douche are out there… THATS why I’m the NRA.

Neoyorquino December 4, 2009 at 8:59 pm

[re=472413]Henderson1985[/re]: Do you have any banhammers? I’d like a big shiny one . . .

imissopus December 4, 2009 at 9:43 pm

Gerald McRaney would have fucking known about the speech ahead of time.

thesheriffisnear December 4, 2009 at 10:34 pm

[re=471954]Barcode of the Apocalypse[/re]: Apparently I’m not the only one to pick up on the fact that Hizzoner looks like a follically challenged Ted Hagard.

Just run Charlie Brown for 24 Hours straight like Christmas Story. Problem solved people.

thesheriffisnear December 4, 2009 at 10:36 pm

Damn, HAGGARD. That’s the third time this week.

LowerdPeninsula December 5, 2009 at 1:35 am

Russell Wiseman: Whose that-there Negra on the TayVey, and why ain’t he dancin’ or catchin’ a ball?

Wife: (inaudible)

RW: OHHH, that’s Muslin president?

**wife and husband sit silent, confused and confounded for the next forty-five minutes in a state of near comatosis after having to exert power to use their brains to remember shit.**

Yes, really, how many more Muslims does this president have to bomb before he gets to be a Christian? Seriously, you guys; he wants to know. Now. Quickly. Also.

BarackMyWorld December 5, 2009 at 1:32 pm

Now, remember that conservatives oppose Obama because they have disagreements with his policies, not because they are racists.

Jim89048 December 5, 2009 at 4:34 pm

Why does this fuckface remind me so much of AJ Weston, who was mercifully shot to death with bullets on the season finale of Sons of Anarchy?

DustBowlBlues December 5, 2009 at 5:45 pm

I’m so late to comment on this dickwad that it isn’t worth it. Think I’ll scroll up to Bible Spice’s latest whine.

Witsendnj December 5, 2009 at 10:00 pm

The funny thing is, speaking of Bible Spice, she never uses the word Jesus. She’s all Old Testament, radical Rapturist – I wonder how many of her fans realize that?

Jim89048 December 6, 2009 at 1:25 pm

[re=472655]Witsendnj[/re]: Who needs Jesus when you’ve got TriG?

desertwind December 6, 2009 at 2:38 pm

Dude broke into the secret Santa bourbon stash early, didn’t he?

Unlearned Hand December 7, 2009 at 9:40 am

I don’t think he’s really upset that the vote isn’t restricted to property owners. I think he’s really upset that Barack Obama isn’t property. (13th Amendment FTW!)

IslandGirlFL December 7, 2009 at 10:21 am

[re=472169]alkybookworm[/re]: Wow. Elvis was your dad too?

IslandGirlFL December 7, 2009 at 10:22 am

Charlie Brown is Jeebus? What an Epiphany….actually it’s mot until January. When did Jim Carrey run for Mayor, Also?

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