The sheeple will believe anything: “The Christmas tree at the [Tennessee] state Capitol will be replaced after being toppled by high winds overnight. The blue spruce, which had stood on Charlotte Avenue between the Capitol and Legislative Plaza, fell sometime before 4 a.m., snapping off the top, said Kenny Crowson, facilities supervisor at the Capitol.” Let’s cut the crap, Crowson: how much are the ACLU and Nancy Pelosi paying you to tell this “wind” story? [WBIR]
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Authors
Kaia Mursi (45)
Kirsten Boyd Johnson (800)
Jim Newell (5433)
Wonkette Jr. (628)
Liz Colville (96)
Blair Burke (171)
Garrett Quinn (13)
Ken Layne (6696)
Matt Langer (40)
Arielle Fleisher (385)
{ 44 comments }
Another air strike in the War on Christmas! A Jehadi II missile fired from a muslin stealth drone.
What about the Nativity Scene???? WHAT ABOUT LITTLE BABY JESUS????
If Global Warming were the result of human activity WHY AREN’T ALL THE TREEZ ON THE GROUND???!!1!
Ha ha. God hates the Baby Jesus just as much as Best Buy does.
Wind has an anti-Christian bias.
Happy Holidays, motherfuckers.
This is what happens when you let hillbillies “fix ‘er” using nothing but duct tape and tie wraps.
Wind, hell. That was merely Brian Kelsey talking out of his ass again.
A lot of hot air in any given State Capitol.
And by the way, this story blows.
It’s just Saturn getting revenge because Americans won’t acknowledge the real reason for the season.
If only God were able to wrest control of the wind away from the ACLU…
Someone seems to have roasted his TruckNutz over an open fire a bit too long.
A blue spruce? Don’t you mean that the spruce blew?
The tree didn’t say “Green Balloons”.
Volkswagen used to name its cars after north African–hence Muslim–winds. Example: Scirocco, the vengance of Allah on yuppies in the late 1970s.
THIS IS A CONSPIRACY AND A COVERUP — LOOK AT MY WEB SITE FOR ALL THE TRUE FACTS — THE TREE CLEARLY IMPLODED RATHER THAN BEING TOPPLED, BUT THE MSM WILL NOT TELL THE STORY — THE GRASSY KNOLL BY THE STATE CAPITOL BUILDING IS NOT VISIBLE ON ANY SECURITY TAPE — REPORTS FROM THE SCENE INDICATED BLACK HELICOPTERS TRIGGERING THE CATASTROPHE — DEVELOPING…
If a tree falls in Tennessee and there are no morons around to hear it, is it still a vast Anti-Jesus Conspiracy?
State budgetary woes have led to many capitals being stuck with one of those shitty trees like Charlie Brown selected, and hoping that a roving band of precocious children can restore it by waving their arms over it.
I’m going to do my part in this War On Christmas Trees.
This weekend, I’m planning a commando raid on the local U-Cut tree farm, and just cold kill one of those motherfuckers (probably a 15-footer) with my chainsaw. Then I plan to hold it hostage in my living room for several months, all the time ritually humiliating it by adorning it with all sorts tasteless baubles and goofy-looking crap and wrap several strings of gaudy colored lights and taunt it by placing all sorts of loot underneath it (just out reach of its branches) and singing all kinds of annoying secular hoilday songs around it.
When my wife gives the word (probably around Easter) I’m going to start slowly dismembering it and feed it bit by bit into my woodstove.
[re=475477]Gopherit[/re]: “What about the Nativity Scene???? WHAT ABOUT LITTLE BABY JESUS????”
The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind; the answer is blowing in the wind.
Tennessee should be targeted. All the time.
What a waste. The tree should never have been cut down to begin with.
This proves my contention that while Tennessee sucks, Nashville truly blows.
Rule 1: No Spruces. Rule 2: No Spruces.
If Tennesee would have voted for Al Gore in 2000, Jesus would have spared their precious tree.
No one will address the real reason that this tree fell over: it was top heavy with acorns.
Damn liberal, anti-Christmas media bias.
FROM THE TENNESEE GOVERNOR’S OFFICE, PRESS RELEASE, DEC. 9, 2009
GOVERNOR’S OFFICE
PLEASE JOIN ME AND MY WIFE AND MY MISTRESS ON FRIDAY, DEC. 11, 2009–12/11/09–FOR THE FESTIVE LIGHTING OF THE ANNUAL WICCANMAS TREE AT THE GOVERNOR’S MANSION AND AT THE STATE CAPITOL. WICCANMAS IS ONE OF THIS COUNTRY’S FASTEST-GROWING HOLIDAYS, AND MY WIFE AND MISTRESS AND I WELCOME ALL WICCANIANS AND PEOPLE OF ALL FAITHS AS WE LIGHT THE ANNUAL WICCANMAS TREE AND SING FESTIVE WICCAN SONGS ABOUT NATURE, THE ENVIRONMENT, SPACE, THE UNIVERSE AND EARTH, WIND, FIRE, WATER AND LAND!!! PLEASE JOIN US FOR THIS FESTIVE WICCANMAS CELEBRATION! FOOD WILL BE SERVED. THE FESTIVITIES WILL BE HELD A 11:30 P.M. AT THE CAPITOL BUILDING, AND AT MIDNIGHT, THE WICCANMAS HOLY TIME, AT THE GOVERNOR’S MANSION, WITH AN OPEN PUBLIC PARTY AFTERWARDS THAT IS SCHEDULED TO LAST ALL NIGHT.
–666–
Moral: However demographically appropriate, mounting your 25′-tall Christmas tree on a single-wide can only lead to sorrow.
And here I thought Jesus controlled the weather — turns out it was the other way around.
They need something more durable and patriotic.
http://www.boston.com/lifestyle/fashion/stylephile/Vote-Artificial-Christmas-Tree-2.jpg
Fell or was pushed?
[re=475492]JMP[/re]: Saturn is not popular in Tennessee at the moment, the Spring Hill plant is closing.
God is pissed that the Republicans threw their House Speaker out of the party after this:
http://wonkette.com/405417/tennessee-wingnuts-foiled-by-democrats
When reached for comment, Earth and Fire simply stated that Wind is a Shining Star, and they would reserve any additional comments for next September.
I am waiting for the Dalai Lama to come forward and have his “I cannot tell a lie” moment.
This is just God’s wrath visited upon an incestuous evergreen orgy. Tennesseans take heed.
Wind is a liberal, part of that whole climate change liberal plot thing.
Dave Boehner, please introduce a new bill declaring wind anti-American.
Uh, Christmas trees really are pagan. The Lord Jehovah blew that sucker down.
Concord CA really has the Xmas spirit this year!
Suck it Jesus. War: 1 Xmas: 0
Tennesseans worship the Goddess Athena, what do they care about your so-called “Christmas?”
Treetus fucking Christ, that was unnecessary!
Couldn’t they have just stuck a “Please Remove” sign on the tree and left it on the Capitol’s front porch, right next to the stained mattress, rusty kegerator, and bathtub Mary?
[re=475503]ttommyunger[/re]: The statistically probability that a tree might fall in Tennessee without there being a single moron around to hear it is incalculably low.
[re=475517]PrairiePossum[/re]: If only M. Night Shyamalan had made The Happening earlier, none of this would’ve happened.
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