Fashion icon John Boehner (or somebody who looks EXACTLY LIKE HIM) was spotted in a regal white-mock-turtleneck-and-khaki-shorts combo at a southwest Florida redneck bar this weekend. Wonkette tipster “Jelly of the Month” sends us this photo of His Nibs, looking “orange as the day he was born.” This reminds us, it has been how long since we’ve done a proper Wonk’d? Send your “famous celebrity (in the sense that you saw them on CSPAN2 at 7am this one time)” sighting reports to tips@wonkette.com.
Ohioan Boehner Wows Florida Crowds With Tropical Tan
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“Home of the Mullettini”?
Damn, poor Terry “Hulk” Bollea has REALLY let himself go….He’s hanging out with BOEHNER for Chrissake.
Is there a word for forearms that don’t taper? Like the upper body’s version of cankles? Would they be forearm/wrists, or “frists?” Skullet man definitely has a case of the Frists.
Welcome to Stain’s? They sure know how to name their redneck bars down there.
With all the workers on vacation, ain’t nothing getting made at the Willy Wonka factory this week.
Why do the obese dress in fabrics and colors calculated to further exaggerate their embonpoint, while the thin tend towards unrelieved back, as if wishing to vanish completely?
If Boner’s belt were red he’d look like a bowling pin. Not the traditional kind but the candle pin found almost exclusively in New England. He looks like a pear, also.
I’d be concerned with catching the Diabeetus from those two Wilford Brimley’s, if I was Boner.
Turtleneck in warm weather = official I’m going to watch porn outfit.
Wow, it’s a triple Wonk’d — John Boehner, David Crosby and that guy who played Cliff on Cheers. I just wish Boehner had as much spare time as the other two dudes.
“We don’t cotton to your type around here, gay yuppie!”
P.S. C-Span gets the gas face for (a) interviewing Michelle Malkin rather than throwing rotten vegetables at her and (b) telling me about it.
He’s clearly trying to camouflage himself by impersonating a candy-corn.
Golfing great Craig “The Walrus” Stadler???
Can’t confirm that is Boehner on account of you don’t see a cigarette goin’.
Fucking weeble walking around Florida with his shorts pulled up to his underarms, and wearing a turtleneck? Doesn’t he have any friends? Thats what friends are for, to tell you when you are looking like a total douche.
“Hey Lindsey, you’re right! Real Americans do smell like raw hot dogs and Pringles.”
Stan’s has a website with web cams. http://www.stansidlehour.net/
Keep an eye on your favorite teabaggers from the safety and comfort of your computer.
Was Boner farting or getting ready to go down?
[re=485495]Clancy_Pants[/re]: “Stan” seems very proud of inbreeding.
Seriously, why the hell dye your skin orange, then wear anything other than a pair of plum smuggling speedos?
Does he just dye the parts we are seeing here, and the rest of him is a sickly ghastly mushroom white?
Get this mental image…his tan lines.
I wonder if he has a white sun god butI wonder is St Barry has a pic of him hidden in the safe, of him doing a reprise of the old Coppertone girl pose/
[re=485492]El Pinche[/re]: Nice.
[re=485486]KingKlickKlick[/re]: I hate candy corn. I’m not too crazy about marshmallow “peeps”, candy root beer barrels and Bolster bars. Does anyone actually eat Bolster bars?
David Crosby does not look happy to see his turf encroached upon by this poser/faggeluh. Wait until Jimmy Buffet finds out, there will be hell to pay.
The outfit is Boehner’s fashion mullet. White turtleneck = business on top. Khaki shorts = party bottom.
[re=485500]thesheriffisnear[/re]: what about zagnut bars?
Dude, Crosby is soooo much cooler than Boner: he knows the tucked-in oxford w/belted bermudas is just NOT cool. Only the Hawai’ian shirt & sunglasses are…. He’s saying “you’ll never get yr coke free dressed like that”
[re=485500]thesheriffisnear[/re]: The ultimate horrors are the beige-orange giant fake peanuts, I think they are made of polyurethane foam. These are worse than the wax candies, the fake lips, and Nickle-Nips.
Nonetheless, I think it’s pretty rockin’ that Boner wore a white shirt in order to showcase his glorious orangosity
Sadly, his shirt is not ironic.
Stan’s is home of the Mullet Festival: http://www.stansidlehour.net/TheBuzzardLope.html
Boner cruising for rough mullet trade?
It appears that the “Welcome to Stan’s” sign also may contain some words in Obama’s native African Hawaiian tongue. It could be “Mele Kalikimaka” (Merry Christmas) — something I learned right here on Wonkette: http://wonkette.com/412922/and-the-bells-were-ringing-out-for-christmas-day
[re=485509]Prommie[/re]: The HORROR!!!
[re=485504]PrairiePossum[/re]: In fact, Party Bottom is Boehner’s nickname.
I’m glad that Boehner kept his shirt on. No one wants to see a half orange, half fat white torso.
I’m throwing up typing this.
Note to Boner: Being Fat, Orange, Drunk and Stupid is really no way to go through life.
[re=485517]McDuff[/re]: Its not really Hawaiian, its a mispronunciation of the English. Like Beisu Boru.
[re=485521]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Thanks for the visual man, now I’ll never be able to enjoy a Creamsicle.
Every time I look at that sign, my eyeball-brain link overloads in trying to figure out if it says “Welcome to Stains” or “Welcome to Satan’s.”
[re=485504]PrairiePossum[/re]: Hahaha. But Polo Ralph Lauren khakis don’t exactly say Busch beer, Doritos, and bass fishin. He’s an uptight dickwad from head to toe.
But I won’t knock Stan’s place. There are places like this up and down the Texas coast where I have shamed myself with plethoras of Daiquiris, Margaritas, embarrassing karaoke scandals, and yes, these big bottom gals.
Note to Boehner: you might have been able to get away with that outfit if you were a 20 year old frat boy, but on a 60+ orange, paunchy dude–it no worky for you.
[re=485463]MattW[/re]: I think that’s a “scullette”
I’m all for healthcare, but really…do I have to pick up the tab for the guy in the background with the beer and the two hotdogs? He’s just asking for a heart attack.
The way the Boner is standing makes me suspect that he has a load in his huge diaper or maybe its just Michelle Malkin’s head.
anyone know if he was wearing black socks with a) boat shoes b) penny loafers c) wing tips or d) (dare I say it) flip flops?
Was he in town for the King Mango Strut? Because those people know a thing or two about irony.
Are those “Wide Load” shorts? They are cream – not khaki. Also.
Damn Boehner looks good.
Things really got out of hand shortly after this photo was taken when Sen. Boner insisted on ordering a Cosmo…
[re=485504]PrairiePossum[/re]: Oh, God, I think I’m gonna throw up.
The dude Boner is talking to looks like a vacationing sheriff from some shit town.
He’s either wearing sandals with white socks or black wingtips with dark socks. Completes the uniform either way.
[re=485528]El Pinche[/re]: Whoa. You just made my rockin’ world go down the crapper.
Bears Gone Wild.
Dunno if anyone’s thought of this one yet, ready?
John BONER.
As the party of traditional values the GOP needs to being back hats. BIG ones! Boehner would look fine in a panama or straw boater.
The “egg on toothpicks” look–very cool.
How can there be global warming if a person from Ohio has such a deep, dark tan?
That’s just Boehner’s mock-priest collar. Hey, if Florida worked for Foley…
For some reason, Ohioans in Boehner’s neck of the woods just love going to Florida. Usually Panama City or somewhere else in the panhandle. And they all wear the same dumpy shorts.
Total gay bar. Not one woman in that picture.
[re=485816]AutomaticPilot[/re]: I think you owe S.Luggo a Coke.
Meanwhile, is Sen. Boner saying “Is this just a Winter Break thing, or will you call me in The City?”
nice fucking frontbutt, jackass.
Can we see his feet, please? I’m wondering if he’s wearing white socks and wingtips or maybe deck shoes.
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