Oh so here’s a thing. ABC has the FOTOSCOOP of the bomb-laden undergarment worn by the Nigerian failed Terrorist, Nigerian Failed Terrorist. Indeed that is a ruler, for scale. Telling! But what else about this pair of underwear all but requires we nuke Yemen, the “Iraq of Yemen”?
“The bomb packet is a six-inch long container of the high explosive chemical called PETN, less than a half cup in volume, weighing about 80 grams.
A government test with 50 grams of PETN blew a hole in the side of an airliner. That was the amount in the bomb carried by the so-called shoe bomber Richard Reid over Christmas 2001.
The underpants bomb would have been one and a half times as powerful.”
Point is, bomb shoes and underwear too.
[ABC News]
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{ 151 comments }
Are the airport security bullies going to start making us take our underwear off before boarding the plane now?
Now do I have to take off my underpants at the airport, too? What if I don’t own/wear any? This is confusing!
His huge sweaty Muslin balls obv. saturated the powder and stifled the explosion. Testes FTDubz.
These are the Spellings of an Ineffetive Blogger
I love you
Now when we arrive at the airport, we will be greeted by a herd of bomb detecting dogs who will sniff our crotches before we are allowed to board the plane.
What is in that middle compartment, OxyClean? The surrounding fabric seems pearly white and new. He is innovative for sure.
Those look like Mike Huckabee’s pants after Arkansas Chili night at the Pancake Hut.
on Morning Joe this morning they said that the explosive packet was anatomically correct. Indeed.
Quite a deterrent for would-be terrorists, I’d say.
[re=486025]Speed Ball[/re]: Oh, dear. You may bomb me too, now.
Bombarahma. This means we will all have to fly nekkid after submitting to very too many exams of all body cavities. Also no luggage, no carry-ons, no electronic nothing. Ayee! No Blackberry!!!!
Damnit! NOW how are college students flying home for Christmas supposed to take their pot with them? They might actually have to track down their old high school connections, and that could be dangerous! Why does the TSA hate America?
My underpants bombs need no PETN.
Whenever you see those terrorist training videos, it seems all they do is climb monkey bars and shoot AK47s while running all out in the sand. Apparently we’re not getting the really good footage.
[re=486036]Redhead[/re]: When you can’t tape it to your inner thigh or place it inside your freakishly deep belly button, you might just have to go where no man should have to go. There only for the weed go I.
That looks like a Christmas underpants angel. Coincidence?
[re=486037]elburrito[/re]: I’m actually surprised at the lack of penis jokes about the underpants bomb. Is wonkette getting classy? Or maybe just too hungover from Christmas still…
The large hole is testemant to what one man was willing to sacrifice for his cause. All I can say is “ouch!”.
No burn marks…no skid marks either. I’m more than a little disappointed, I was hoping he at least achieved a scrotal flombe.
He only had a six-inch package in his underwear? That’s hardly THE BOMB.
Ohmygod! I’m a terrorist and didn’t even know it! I have an explosive packet in my underpants, too.
Doesn’t work as well as you would think to pick up teh chix. Especially virgins.
I suppose a Mormon terrorist could blow up the whole Boeing fleet.
And yet they still throw me out of the airport for not wearing pants, for security.
0 skids!
Whew! That’s a good thing. Mom always says to keep a hole and grundle clean because you never know when your knickers will be premiered in the international media .
Any resemblance to the Great Seal of the United States is purely hilarious.
Why has no one pointed out that these appear to be little girl panties?
I SEE AN ANGEL!!!!1!! He burned his underpants on baby Jeebus birfday and they came out like an angel!!!! IT’S A SIGN FROM THE CHRISTIAN BABY JEEBUS!!!1111
Or it’s maybe a dove!!! Yeah, it’s not an angel, it’s a dove of peace delivered from a terrorist’s crotch!!! And there shall be a sign…
I want to know a couple of things. What he was doing with the syringe? Why was he in the bathroom for so long? Why didn’t he blow his balls off when he was in the bathroom, for Allah? Is his branch of Islam affiliated with the Heaven’s Gate space travelers who also went to heaven nutless?
These are technically the bikini brief version of the underwear that I believe Mittens Romney and the brood are required to wear.
[re=486021]progressiveinga[/re]: Jinx!
[re=486042]Redhead[/re]: The possibility of a penis & balls being set on fire is too frightening to make jokes about.
Atomic wedgie, indeed.
Sorry Fox Newsers, but if teh Muslims are resorting to blowing up their junk, I can’t get worked up about the “threat”.
Aren’t the jhihad terrorists supposed to get a bunch of virgins when they blow themselves up for Allah? What good is a bunch of virgins if you blow off your schlong in the jhihad?
Step #1: Put bomb in underpants. Step #2: … Step #3: PROPHET!
Imagine what they could blow up if they enlisted David Vitter. Remember to thank our brave troops. Also.
The New York Post has a priceless headline this morning:
GREAT BALLS OF FIRE!!!
http://www.nypost.com/
It’s worth a look just for the blond girl with the huge rack in PostPics.
80 grams? That’s some heavy PETN.
Yumpin’ Yemenis!
[re=486060]JMP[/re]: Gives that Jerry Lee Lewis song new meaning…
I’m launching a new T shirt line that says “UNDERWEAR WITH EXPLOSIVE PACKet” on it. It’ll be da bomb. Diggity?
Maybe it’s the brunch joint but what’s with the tiny white wookie?
Personally I think this is all AN INSIDE JOB.
If the Nigerian guy could get enough PETN in this thong to take down an airliner, Mitt Romney could get enough in his Mormon undies to take out a couple city blocks.
[re=486029]DonkeyPants[/re]: Win!
It’s a hunka hunka burnin’ love …
I carry a ruler in my underpants too, it’s only accurate at 9 inches though.
So how many virgins does a muslin terrorist with no penis get? And do they feel cheated?
[re=486070]stew[/re]: I always figured that song was about herpes. And giving it to your 13-year-old cousin/wife.
Good thing John Holmes never became a terrorist. Imagine all the PETN he could have packed.
[re=486034]Juli Weiner[/re]: I’ve missed you, Juli. Welcome back.
[re=486076]twoeightnine[/re]: Call me.
[re=486067]Cape Clod[/re]: Thank you for that. Best set of casabas I’ve seen in a while.
Reminds me of my least favorite Chinese movie, “Red Firecracker, Green Firecracker”, wherein the hero blows off his genitals with fireworks. Festive!
Our Nigerian friend should have converted to Mormonism, so that the Mormon magic underpants would have stopped all of his hanky-panky with explosive packages.
You’d leave skid marks too, if it happened to you.
El AL.
Those lucky bomb-sniffing dogs. Now they have an excuse!
I hate to be such a ignorant jerk, but I have a question. Did the Underpants Bomber merely cripple his wiener or was it exploded apart, like a used firecracker? I have no idea WHY I want to know this. I just do.
[re=486021]progressiveinga[/re]: well you are SUPPOSED to be confused. According to the government if you are confused…the terrorists will be too!
Today we are all tattered underpants.
Umar, is that a weapon of mass destruction in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
Is there also a ruler for bonking people over the head with a scepter?
[re=486090]Mojopo[/re]: An eyewitness reported that it looked like his legs had melted. His penis is probably a shriveled-up piece of burned flesh. Yuck.
I’m surprised no one commented on the following formula:
Taking off your underwear + airport = Larry Craig
Dibs on naming the latest military incursion: Operation Soiled Shorts
Take a look at these pants.
Take a look at these pants.
The pants speak. The pants of an anti-government man.
Well I’m a bumbler. Born under punches.
I’m so dim.
Dope mules have been shoving their cargo up various orifices for years. When the Islamofucks tune into THAT method of concealment clearing airport security will become quite entertaining… Then when cavity searches are universal before boarding they’ll go to implants, two DD cups of explosives would knock ‘em dead every time!
[re=486090]Mojopo[/re]: Yeah, I think this detail was left out of the story. Considering what we do know, I think the man has a porkrhines for cock n bawls.
So now
1. Maxipads and depends will be forbidden on airplanes; and
2. TSA pat downs just became a lot funner.
I just found a bomb in my 5 week old’s underpants. Why? He has everything!
[re=486101]plowman[/re]: They already have:
http://boingboing.net/2009/09/28/here-come-the-airpor.html
[re=486100]user-of-owls[/re]: Fire cannot hurt a man. Not the Government Man
[re=486097]proudgrampa[/re]: So we probably should just let the guy go, then, since he already is suffering a fate worse than death.
[re=486100]user-of-owls[/re]: Byrne Burn!
[re=486101]plowman[/re]: Yes but igniting explosives up your Cheney is a bit tricky, no? I mean look how hard it was to blow up your shoes, or to just be a passenger into extreme CBT (look it up not at work).
[re=486114]ph7[/re]:
Don’t you miss it, don’t you miss it.
Some ‘a you people just about missed it!
…but not ph7!
Does anyone know if a flaming bag of poo would bring down an airplane? I look forward to the forthcoming required shit before you fly requirement.
With regards to the other new rules…I fly a lot. My favorite channel is the map channel how am I going to entertain myself during the flight? Also, I always try to get drunk before and during my flight. This requires me to pee sometimes. How am I going to pee if I have to stay seated for a whole hour before we land? This is going to create me major problems. Plus all those Muslin stamps on my passport
Having just returned to the US from Panama City yesterday, I can state with some authority that the new screening procedures are quite, uh…intimate, shall we say. My scrotum was fondled.
On the plus side, I now have very intimate relationship in PC!
Anyone want to bet how soon until the GOP complains that Hopey is responsible for this because leaked TSA screening procedures were posted online UNDER HIS WATCH?
Wait. Those look like girls panties. Why was he wearing girls panties??
[re=486112]Clancy_Pants[/re]: 5 WEEKS? Hell, that’s nothing. Wait til the baby starts eating REAL food! Nuclear holocaust!
I cannot believe the sight this morning of various newspapers on display with a big photo of torn, splayed, worn underpants on them. This truly is a sign that The Rapture is seriously near.
They’re fake – no skid marks.
[re=486129]V572625694[/re]: Well, depending on which PC you’re talking about, “felicitaciones” or “way to go, bro” on your new latexed friend.
[re=486135]proudgrampa[/re]: You’re right. While it was a large bomb by Newborn Pampers standards it didn’t stink.
And yet another definition of ‘crotch rocket’.
[re=486036]Redhead[/re]: Truly, the most tragic outcome of this deeply tragic situation.
This has given show us your package an entirely new meaning.
The next time you’re in an airport and someone wearing a stupid wrinkled uniform says, “Show me your package”.
Do you;
a. Quickly unwrap the present you were carrying.
b. Grap your crotch and pretend you’re standing on a street corner.
c. Drop your pants.
Somebody with talent (ie, not me) needs to do a remix of this, stat.
Imagine if Vitter stuffed his pampers with C-4.
[re=486102]El Pinche[/re]: So, who is going to pay for his dork reconstruction? Will he have a sex change instead? Umar and The Angry Inch?
It seems to me that an explosive tampon would have been far more effective. It already has a fuse. You men, you are so scared of tampons.
If we only allow men to wear boxers to keep this from happening, then the Terrorists win…
And I do not know if these are girly man shorts or are just European.
Dear God: May my underwear never end up on ABC News. Thank you. Amen.
[re=486167]Mojopo[/re]: Good point. How many grams of PETN could a tampon contain, without the wearer becoming too, uh, uncomfortable? Oh, right — this moran tried to explode his man parts, so comfort has nothing to do with it.
“Mr. Abdulmutallab , all of America wants to know the following…is it boxers or briefs?”
Weapons-grade Y-fronts!
I had the flu really bad once, and I had to throw out my mattress. Now I see how lucky I really am.
[re=486156]The Names Jesus[/re]: Easy, just match your demographics:
a. Doting Grandmothers
b. Young Wops from Jersey Shore
c. Exhibitionists/Elected Officials (Venn Diagram)
First they came for the Underoos, and I said nothing, for I did not wear them.
Then they came for the split-crotch panties, and again I said nothing.
…
[re=486064]anonymousryan[/re]: Belatedly….hahahaha! That was peachy keen and wicked pissah!
[re=486167]Mojopo[/re]: Problem w/tampons, rectal inserts, breast implants as explosives is the human body, being a pretty tough sack o’ mammal meat, absorbs too much of the blast and renders your 5 or 6 oz. worth of high explosives not as effective as you, the terrist, would like.
To really do a job on a modern aircraft, you need to be able to pack in a whole lot more of the stuff, or find a way to get it off your person and closer to some structurally critical part of the airplane.
Perhaps I’ve said too much.
Napolitano said “the system worked.”
This is true, as long as your talking about the system of slipping explosives past airport security onto an airplane full of holiday travelers.
Fuck you, Janet.
[re=486021]progressiveinga[/re]: You’d be arrested for going Commando.
Why didn’t Ding-a-ling Exploder just light a fart?
That’s the problem with engineers. They overthink the problem and can’t see the ‘elegant’ solution.
[re=486173]PerhapsSo[/re]: This certainly gives more credibility to your mother’s warning about leaving the house with clean undies, huh?
[re=486194]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: OK, what about Maxi-pads? Those babies can hold seven times their weight. You’ve seen the commercials. It’s a GOOD THING terrorists don’t get periods, because when they find this shit out, Janet Napolitano will fucking resign. Can you imagine what those plastic TSA bins are going to look like? A crime scene.
At long last, have we no shame?
[re=486197]S.Luggo[/re]: If it’s a wet fart, all bets are off.
[re=486194]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Ding Dong “Mr. Caveman? We were hoping to have a word with you. Could we come in?”
[re=486195]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Maybe she was referring to the “convince all passengers on commercial flights that it’s their patriotic duty to pile-drive and pinion any fellow passenger who is ‘acting strangely’…especially if they’re some shade of off-white.” system?
Dr. Gold’s Powder is good for a brief tingling sensation. When the thrill is gone… try setting it on fire? Maybe not.
[re=486194]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: You raise a really good point. It is no secret that airplanes can, and have endured explosions causing structural failure to the airplane in flight…and remained airworthy. Aloha Airlines had a 737 “lower the top” and turn into a convertible, and, in 1989, United had a decompression on a 747 that ripped a huge hole in the side. Both landed safely.
It is a question of where the blast is located that matters, and that’s the secret part.
Clearly the Underpants Gnomes have experienced their own personal 9/11.
[re=486202]Mojopo[/re]: Actually that would be like napalm. Three Chalupas, Bean Burrito Supreme + Modelo Especial the night before would have been a disaster. Where’s Neilist when you need him?? He’d know.
That’s a yardstick, not a ruler!
[re=486209]TubeCity[/re]: Flakes on a plane?
or
Talcum? I hardly even know him.
[re=486194]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Yeah, c’mon, why not just hide your high explosives in your fuckin’ hat already?
Imagine what a woman with a tampon could do. 80 grams of PETN with a freaking fuse.
Is it bad that I feel the need to point out that the 80g Nutcracker Bomb would have been 8/5 (not 3/2) as powerful as the 50g Shoe Bomb?
It burns when I pee.
[re=486271]bhosp[/re]: No, no. Of course not.
[**tee hee...math geek...what a dork**]
[re=486195]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Napolitano said “the system worked.”
She meant the system’s response to the Christmas incident worked.
What was he going to do with 70 virgins if he had succeeded? Those virgins would have been so mad at him.
[re=486301]June Cleaver 2.0[/re]: Not if he learned how to use his tongue properly.
Given the location of the explosives upon his person, and that he had a window seat located where the wings meet the body of the plane, I wonder what posture was required to maximize the effect of the blast? Seems to me – either humping the window or the floor. As a fellow engineering graduate, I think Abdulmutallab showed poor engineering smarts by remaining seated – of course, having your crotch on fire is probably detrimental to clear thinking.
WHEN EXPLOSIVE-PACKED UNDERWEAR IS OUTLAWED, ONLY OUTLAWS WILL HAVE EXPLOSIVE-PACKED UNDERWEAR!
REGISTER COMMUNISTS AND LIE-BRULS, NOT BLASTER BIKINI BRIEFS!
YOU CAN HAVE MY “CHARGED” FRUIT OF THE LOOMS WHEN YOU CAN PRY THEM FROM MY COLD DEAD FINGERS!
(:::Whew::: THAT was FUN!)
All this talk about exploding man-parts is making me a bit nauseous.
[re=486056]Ducksworthy[/re]: Probably [re=486256]Ripley_v_alien[/re]: What was he doing with the syringe?
Doubtless injecting something (probably nitric acid) to create an exothermic reaction that would result in a detonation. But it sounds like he only got a fire, rather than the concussion and blast wave that would have set off the explosive. (You need a concussive wave to set of high explosive, otherwise it just burns, e.g., we used to use small lumps of C-4 to heat coffee.)
I can’t figure out why, given all the time he had in the bathroom, he didn’t just wire up an improvised blasting cap using a very small amount of PETN and the flash unit built into most disposal cameras (and nowadays, cell phones). It works just fine, particularly given that PETN is more “twitchy” than RDX or TNT. It’s also virtually impossible to screen against, unless you prohibit disposal cameras, cell pho. . . .
Oh, wait a minute.
Whoops.
Forget that last paragraph, okay? Particularly if you speak Arabic.
Oh, by the way: More good news: PETN is a cardiac medication, just like nitroglycerine. In fact, “Lentonitrat” is almost pure PET . . .
Whoops.
Forget that, too, okay?
[re=486195]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: She didn’t actually say that, but nowadays accuracy doesn’t matter anymore if a misquote can get more outrage going.
[re=486215]El Pinche[/re]: You rang?
Briefs?
Lame.
Boxers, briefs, or bombs?
[re=486213]Sharkey[/re]: Finally, they figured out Phase 2.
Phase 1: Collect Underpants
Phase 2:
???Blow shit up!!!Phase 3: Profit.
Secret security footage of the bomber sneaking through security:
http://livebythefoma.blogspot.com/2009/12/spinal-tap-inspired-undie-bomber.html
[re=486289]Socialist hip replacement[/re]: That is perhaps due to the fact that your six-inch canister is on fire.
[re=486311]Citizen Kitteh[/re]: To say nothing of attempting to detonate while on final approach as opposed to at altitude, when even a small explosion will probably lead to catastrophic failure of the plane. Dickless Wonder turns out to be a flaming douche.
[re=486042]Redhead[/re]: Well, I suspect he is lack of penis now.
[re=486343]Neilist[/re]: Hey many thanks! I’ll take it from here. Allahu Akbar, Also.
After 8 years haven’t we killed or detained all the smart terrorists?
All we’re left with is the special opts or the retard terrorist.
With the failure of the TSA it falls to the flying public to feel up their fellow passengers.
[re=486401]chascates[/re]: There isn’t enough hand sanitizer in the world!
Personally, I think “Mythbusters” should be all over this.
[re=486394]sezme[/re]: Admiral Akbar?!? You mean, IT’S A TRAP?!?
[re=486382]Pop Socket[/re]: I heard this terrorist’s explosion happened more like this…
PETN in the park, indeed!
[re=486345]Neilist[/re]: Yeah, lighting up a sloppy shart would be like napalm, right? Would it more like a M2 or M4 fuel thickener? Or we talking Mk 77 Mod 5 firebombs ?
[re=486457]Mr. Herpes[/re]: Yeah, you’re right, this has Mythbusters written all over it. Or we can just have Buzz Aldrin punch the shit out of somebody.
[re=486508]El Pinche[/re]: You just need something with a supersonic concussive wave. Say, one of Joe Lieberman’s Mogan-David Wine & Cheese Blinz farts. A mere flamer — e.g., one of Megan McCain’s vaginal outgassings — might sent PETN on fire, but there would be no detonation.
I hope that clears it up for you.
[re=486052]Bliz[/re]: Coworker today called them “granny panties.” We all snickered like the immature school kids we are.
So, who blew out the fire, a passenger, flight attendant, or the TSA?
[re=486517]Neilist[/re]: The Meghan queefing bit was the clincher. Thanks!!
It’s the most obvious place to smuggle a weapon of ass destruction, and yet the last place anyone would look.
a pass-along description: “Fruit of the Boom”
As someone with intimate knowledge of Nigeria. Let me just say that I hope with time people will come to separate the Northern part of Nigeria from the Southern part. The Northern part of Nigeria a vast tangled web of ignorance, religious fanaticism, and paradoxically the center of power. I am glad that he only succeeded in blowing up is nuts.
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