YES. Real-life voters making crass, childish comments about their polling locations and others’ political beliefs! This completely re-justifies the Globe‘s existence. And the best part is…
…IT IS THE LEAST MODERATED COMMENT THREAD EVER (although we didn’t try curses):
Hurry now, dear readers, before the closest thing they have to a moderator wakes up from that diabetic coma! MUSH, MUSH.
Reports from our poll watchers [Boston Globe]
Read More:
- The Best Phone Survey In Massachusetts Right Now
- Is This Because We Forced The Gays To Get Married In Your State, Massachusetts??
- Remembering This Historic Night, When The Naked Man Tried To Sell His Daughters
- Hey Here's A Bunch Of Links About Massachusetts!
- John Kerry Could Verily Be Brought To Fisticuffs
{ 89 comments }
Boston Globe server crash in 5… 4… 3…
Frank Phanuf pooped himself?
That’s a exit pole, right?
can you make up names of towns in Massachusetts? If so, let’s all say we’re voting from Kerry’s Swiftboat, MA.
[re=496899]bureaucrap[/re]: Let me know how this works out before I waste my time voting on this thing.
If those dipshits like Scott Brown so much, they should all fucking move to Oklahoma because we’ve got them by the hundreds in government, except none look good nekkid–as far as I know.
Frank Phanuf is a real American hero.
Jay Z has 99 problems but a vote against AG Martha scum ain’t one.
CURLING IRON ME!
What color is pooping yourself? BROWN! BROWN! BROWN!
Hey, wait . . . how do the Wonketteer’s posts get on there BEFORE it is linked from Wonkette??
…and its down, too bad “Tommy Fromdedocks” in Foulmouth was going to say what a “wicked pissa” it was. Nomar would kick that “Kid” Schillings ass also.
Well this has been a fun, interactive day on the Wonkettez.
Bonus points for using the following wordz in your post:
1) demoncraps
2) epistemological
3) cockshitter
4) I tried to leave a comment, but there was nowhere to type one in
I put mine in “Hardwick” (select from the dropdown).
OMG, so livestock are running wild in one polling place. Coakley supporters are heavily armed in other places. Brown supporters are engaging in wild sex acts. I see that Brown hates the Patriots, evidently.
Wonketters, bravo.
The scary thing is, there are a lot of seemingly legit Brown supporters who posted on there. Looks like MA voters are about to put the “ass” in Massachusetts. Coakley, don’t make me hate you!
Haha, they’re moderating now but they left Bro. Phanuf’s comment up, just truncated it after “7:30 am.”
Thanks to a few churches, (like mine) we have a free clinic twice a month and a food pantry weekly.
When I volunteer, I’m thinking I’ll asking if the recipients if they vote for Democrats or Republics. If they answer the latter I’ll say, “Then get out of here, you moron.”
Or do you think that might make a bad impression in the church community?
I took the opportunity to ask Lori Kelly (Berlin MA) to meet me at Pete’s Meat Market for a Pepsi.
Wish me luck!
I managed to post from Natick (I hate Natick).
@SmutBoffin
“The pastries were the best part of the experience. The masses of your asses seem to really believe the epistemological ‘differences’ between the demoncrap and rethuglican candidates.”
Do I get credit for two out of three?
[re=496928]DustBowlBlues[/re]: No No that’s perfectly appropriate. If you continue feeding them there is a danger that they will achieve enough sexual vigor to reproduce.
Tonight could be the official point when I go back to getting my news strictly off the CS Monitor Weekly and wonkette. I’d thought that maybe the shit decade was over, but it appears to have taken a brief rest in 2009 and come roaring back, stupider and shittier than ever.
What’s next? Palin/Coburn 2012?
VOTED FOR: Scott Brown (GOP)
HOW CROWDED: In and out. Only three people in front of me at 7:10 this morning.
OTHER COMMENTS: No signs for either candidates and no cookies.
vs.
VOTED FOR: Martha Coakley (Dem)
HOW CROWDED: Busy, but not too croweded. Only a short wait, but seemed like good turnout for a special election.
OTHER COMMENTS: The baked goods were awesome!
Seems the Dems’ supermajority now hinges solely on Little Debbies! Somebody better airlift a few gross to Amherst stat if they want their caucus intact!
[re=496923]President ODreamy[/re]: Eh, just remember that simply because they are louder and more annoying it doesn’t mean that there are actually more of them.
[re=496918]Sharkey[/re]: “Meconium” should’ve been on the bonus point word list, for sure.
Other potentially lucrative place names: Belchertown. Barnstable. Boxborough. Me, I’m going for a Cthulu-themed comment in “Ipswich”.
[re=496910]Darkness[/re]: because, AHEM, sometimes wonketteers send in tips to the wonkette editors…
Is it me or are some of the more interesting ones disappearing? No more Brown supporters offering $20 per Brown vote? No more Addington Stampedes?
Oh it’s organized alphabetically. Because that makes sense.
CITY/TOWN: Boston
NEIGHBORHOOD: The inner sanctum
NAME: Ken Andola
VOTED AT: Vomitorium
VOTED FOR: Scott Brown (GOP)
HOW CROWDED: Crowded as fuck, y’all.
OTHER COMMENTS: Lots of my “homies” out there votin with they pants on the floor. Let’s keep it real, y’all if Scott Brown wins this, fried chicken and collard greens for everyone, on me.
I meant to write that as Mike Steele. Woops.
Anyway, don’t fuck this up, Massachussetts.
“…Interestingly, after pooping myself I didn’t have to wait in line upon my return to the polling location, as those in proximity to me suddenly decided not to wait their turn to vote…”
The Founding Fathers would be so pleased, all of them, with the diverse comments, because this is Real America, taking poops and all, with Real Americans, like Todd and I.
[re=496928]DustBowlBlues[/re]: I thought Methodists were down with some of that liberal/Demo stuff as long as you didn’t drink alkyhol.
[re=496906]Extemporanus[/re]: Jay-Z has 99 problems and “the squirts” and pooping himself are two of those problems. An infection around an ingrown toenail has also become an issue.
Hey! I know Abington. My family had a big shoe factory there during the Civil War. Half of North Abington worked for them. Too bad it’s closed down now. We could fire everyone who didn’t vote correctly.
Respect mah athoritah!!!
CITY/TOWN: Cambridge
NEIGHBORHOOD: THE HOLY CITY OF MAKKAH
NAME: MUHAMMED IBN ‘ABDULLAH
VOTED AT: MASJID AL-HARAM
VOTED FOR: Scott Brown (GOP)
HOW CROWDED: HUNDREDS WERE REGRETTABLY TRAMPLED TO DEATH UNDERFOOT DURING A SUDDEN STAMPEDE AT THE POLLING BOOTHS AS VOTERS ATTEMPTED TO RITUALLY REENACT OUR ANCESTOR ABRAHAM’S STONING OF MARTHA COAKLEY.
OTHER COMMENTS: IN THE NAME OF ALLAH, THE MERCIFUL, THE JUST:
IN THIS YEAR OF 1431 THE PROPHET MUHAMMED PBUH MADE HAJJ TO CAMBRIDGE. PROCLAIMING THE UNITY OF GOD, HE DICTATED THE HOLY QU’RAN, THE PERFECT & UNCHANGING WORD OF ALLAH. THE BAKED GOODS WERE EXCELLENT. AMEEN.
This was my favorite earnest comment:
“I hate socialism and love freedom. Scott Brown will stop the government’s takeover of social security and medicare, cause I need it.”
Yeah, we wouldn’t want those things to turn into some kinda gub’mint run program or sumpn’.
CITY/TOWN: Holyoke
NEIGHBORHOOD: Not Applicable
NAME: Truk Nutz
VOTED AT: On the ballot
VOTED FOR: Scott Brown (GOP)
HOW CROWDED: It was horrible. Train hits cow, which knocks over negro, who falls on a dog. Cow, Negro, Dog, All Die
OTHER COMMENTS: I tried to leave a comment, but there was nowhere to type one in
Ted Kennedy Jr.’s starting to look pretty smart, isn’t he?
CITY/TOWN: Woburn
NEIGHBORHOOD:
NAME: J.Smithe
VOTED AT:
VOTED FOR: Scott Brown (GOP)
HOW CROWDED: Nut to butt, baby. Nut. To. Butt.
OTHER COMMENTS: Fine ladies everywhere at these things. Glad I wore my Hai Karate and brought some extra cheddar.
Boston Globe reports:
“Corey Welford, a Coakley spokesman, said the campaign has received reports that a voter in Boston and one in Cambridge were handed ballots that had already been filled out for Brown. “
******
Fuckin ACORN screw-ups.
CITY/TOWN: Framingham
NEIGHBORHOOD: Upper Wooster
NAME: Chris
VOTED AT: Kramden Middle School
VOTED FOR: You’re Mom
HOW CROWDED: Outrageous
OTHER COMMENTS: Unbelievable
Can’t they just re-elect Teddy? He could accomplish more dead than either one of these hand cranks could alive.
I’m just sayin’…..
What’s with the baked goods? Is that an East Coast thing?
[re=496963]SlouchingTowardsWasilla[/re]: Remember that old Wonkette post where TV’s Coach railed against big government while claiming that nobody ever helped him when he was on, uh, food stamps? It’s contagious!
I also love the narcissistic closer: “because I need it”. I AM A RUGGED INDIVIDUAL WHO DEMANDS THAT THEY GOVERNMENT STAY OUT OF STAYING IN MY LIFE.
“What I think is funny is that many people voted on this thing from abington than are FROM abington. In addition, not many folks put where they voted … How odd. This mean this site has been hackers by non Mass folks. How sad.”
OH GOD THEY ARE ON TO US!?!?
CITY/TOWN: Amherst
NEIGHBORHOOD:
NAME: Ronnie LeDeaux
VOTED AT:
VOTED FOR: Scott Brown (GOP)
HOW CROWDED: Very crowded, almost everyone seemed to be voting for Brown. Who knew that that many teabaggers wear Birkenstocks.
OTHER COMMENTS: The vegan muffins were disgusting. I left a tray of muffins made with pork fat. Also left a pile of coupons for genuine commemorative Scott Brown nudie calendars and for truck nutz.
LMFAO! My favorite so far.
CITY/TOWN: Abington
NEIGHBORHOOD: Sarah’s Cooter
NAME: John McCain’s Wang
VOTED AT: In her pooper
VOTED FOR: Scott Brown (GOP)
HOW CROWDED: Packed full (wink, wink)
OTHER COMMENTS: I got some of her baked goods on my junk but it was totally worth it.
[re=496977]Joshua Norton[/re]: This is no lie, actually. His office staff are the tops at constituent services. Fast forward to Scott Brown’s office where he’s standing there with the phones ringing, saying, “People want help with what f*cking shit?”
CITY/TOWN: Abington
NAME: Phillip
VOTED FOR: Scott Brown (GOP)
HOW CROWDED: Beef Cake! BEEF CAKE!!!!!!
OTHER COMMENTS: But seriously, how ABOUT them abs?
[re=496928]DustBowlBlues[/re]: What are you, a Republican? The proper response is “Tits or GTFO.”
Has Wonkette taught you nothing?
[re=496978]DemmeFatale[/re]: The Parent Teacher Organizations at the schools have bake sales to raise $. I don’t know if other polling places have bake sales; I can’t imagine there being one at Town Hall or the library for example.
CITY/TOWN: Abington
NEIGHBORHOOD:
NAME: Sarah buchman
VOTED AT: School
VOTED FOR: Scott Brown (GOP)
HOW CROWDED: Butt to nut, baby!
OTHER COMMENTS: Say no to anything liberal and Darker than beige
[re=496982]meemers[/re]: You’re welcome.
How many write-in’s for Whitey Bulger?
[re= 496962] MUHAMMED[/re]: AH HA HAHAHAHAH *snort*.
[re=496985]Katydid[/re]: “Tits or GITMO”
[re=496988]justlen[/re]: That was brilliant. My best belly laugh of the day!
[re=496980]Voyou Charmant[/re]: Yeah, hackers have nothing better to do than fuck with this stupid site.
CITY/TOWN: Adams
NEIGHBORHOOD:
NAME: John McPalin
VOTED AT: Bathroom stall
VOTED FOR: Joseph Kennedy (Lib)
HOW CROWDED: It was a total mob scene.
OTHER COMMENTS: Too many black people.
BAD WONKETTEERS!!!
CITY/TOWN: Amesbury
NEIGHBORHOOD:
NAME: Edward
VOTED AT: Town hall
VOTED FOR: Didn’t say
HOW CROWDED: Seven goats short of violating the fire code
OTHER COMMENTS:
[re=496989]lawrenceofthedesert[/re]: That depends on how many FBI agents voted.
In the suburbs of DC(I don’t kow about Dc schools themselves), our PTAs often have bake sales at election time because many polling places are in schools, schools are closed and we need the money. When my polling place changed -a church, I was sad- no food to buy.
[re=496996]meemers[/re]: I posted as Trig Palin as well.
[re=496962]THE PROPHET MUHAMMED PBUH[/re]: Allah Akhbar, dude, that was funny, but why all shouty? I hope Wonkette doesn’t get a fatwah or Jihad or honor killing or cybertearist attack or something. Islam is the religion of peace, or we will cut off your head.
CITY/TOWN: Somerville
NEIGHBORHOOD:
NAME: Pierce Bottoms
VOTED AT: A smelly school gym
VOTED FOR: Scott Brown (GOP)
HOW CROWDED: Jam up and jelly tight.
OTHER COMMENTS: I sampled the baked goods of which the Dunkin Donuts were WICKED good. There were a lot of Brown supporters holding up copies of his Playgirl Centerfold, which got me pretty excited!
[re=497005]justlen[/re]: LMFAO!
Did you do this one?
CITY/TOWN: Acton
NEIGHBORHOOD: Dahood
NAME: Barly White
VOTED AT: Community Center
VOTED FOR: Scott Brown (GOP)
HOW CROWDED: It be perdy bizzy.
OTHER COMMENTS: I am sick of da socilistic baby killin librils ruinin diss cuntry!
[re=496962]THE PROPHET MUHAMMED PBUH[/re]: OMG! ROTFLMFAO!
[re=496986]President ODreamy[/re]: There were baked goods at the fire station in my town where I voted. Really good ones!
Nope, that wasn’t me.
I think they are starting to moderate the comments. We’ll see how long my new one posted by goatse.cx lasts.
[re=497021]justlen[/re]: hahah! it is still there.
CITY/TOWN: Abington
NEIGHBORHOOD:
NAME: goatse.cx
VOTED AT:
VOTED FOR: Scott Brown (GOP)
HOW CROWDED: It was packed, everyone was teabagging.
OTHER COMMENTS: I got so excited when I was teabagging this one Real Mericun that I spunked on the muffins. My bad.
[re=497007]Radiotherapy[/re]: IN THE NAME OF ALLAH, THE MERCIFUL, THE COMPASSIONATE: ALLAH TA’ALLAH DICTATED THE HOLY QU’RAN TO HIS HOLY PROPHET PBUH IN THE DIVINE LANGUAGE OF ARABIC, IN WHICH THERE EXISTS NO “LOWER” OR “UPPER” CASE. ARE WE TO BLASPHEMOUSLY AND IMPIOUSLY CLAIM THAT WE KNOW BETTER THAN ALLAH AR-RASHID, THE GREAT TEACHER OF MANKIND, IN EMPLOYING “MODERN” AND UNNECESSARY INNOVATIONS WHEN HIS HOLY PROPHET MADE NO USE OF SUCH THINGS? BETTER TO ENCOURAGE UNITY WITHIN THE UMMAH BY PROMOTING THE ARABIC TONGUE, AND TO EVADE TAJDIF (BLASPHEMY) WHEN CONVERSING WITH KUFFAR SUCH AS YOURSELF BY ADHERING TO ITS DIVINE STRUCTURES. AMEEN.
CITY/TOWN: Abington
NEIGHBORHOOD: Capitol Hill
NAME: Liz Becton
VOTED AT: Leona Helmsley Elementary School
VOTED FOR: Scott Brown (GOP)
HOW CROWDED: Extremely
OTHER COMMENTS: What kind of nasty, petty, poorly written (Did these people graduate from middle school to high school?) site is http://www.wonkette.com? And what a base, narcissistic, illiterate group of readers they have! I will never venture to that site again.
[re=496957]donner_froh[/re]: True, we have the most liberal church in the county but on the other hand, United Methodists are kind of mired in that whole Christian charity thing, where you help any dickwad. The Fundamentalists aren’t limited by that shit.
[re=497039]justlen[/re]: Wonkette.com is a top 5,000 site and No. 63 Technorati blog that reaches over 1 million monthly unique visitors, 88% of which are in the U.S. The site is wildly popular among a mostly male, very affluent and well educated adult crowd. The typical visitor reads Gawker and subscribes to the Economist and Vanity Fair.
“Swims in the libidinal current of American politics.” — Village Voice
[re=497038]THE PROPHET MUHAMMED PBUH[/re]: Uhhmah, OK. Psssst, you might want to fix this: CITY/TOWN: Cambridge… I don’t want you to get in trouble with yo’ imom.
[re=497029]meemers[/re]: All that rotlfhf=sfesdf shit to indicate I’m laughing really hard.
But not as hard as I’m laughing at the idiot who called Dylan Rattigan (or the Mexican on CNN-I get them mixed up) who said that Nobama only wanted to send money to Afghanistan and Iraq and never to Americans so he was voting for BROWN. (Caps to indicate he yelled).
The wonkeratti cannot, collectively, rival this real, live person for absolute stupidity. The sweatshops that make jeans for Walmart are going to start using velcro on the fly, because so many real Americans are too stupid to figure out how to work a zipper.
“The site is wildly popular among a mostly male, very affluent and well educated adult crowd.”
“The typical visitor … subscribes to the Economist and Vanity Fair.”
Hahahahahahahaha.
Nice going, Ken.
[re=497039]justlen[/re]: Oh, you dirty whore.
[re=497044]Flanders[/re]: “The typical Wonkette visitor reads Gawker and subscribes to the Economist and Vanity Fair.” What about my other favorite very affluent reads: Snobby Cigar Asshole, Snobby Expensive Polo Ponies, and East Coast Limousine Liberal Today?
[re=496930]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: I left a greeting for the charming Ms. Kelly as well.
[re=497039]justlen[/re]: Is Ken going to thank you personally for the wonderful free advertising for “our” wonkette?
Just think how even stupider the teabaggers will sound after they find the wonkette and are too dumb to realize it’s humor? They will start going to teabagging events and talking about trucknuts and believing the wonkeratti shit, because it will sound even more outrageous, and therefore believable, than the crap Dick Armey puts out.
Could it be that Ken Layne’s humble little cite will remake the landscape of American politics? And we can all say we were there when it happened–though not publicly, of course, because most of us are college graduates with a phobic attitude toward grammar and spelling errors and wouldn’t want be caught dead admitting we even know what wonkette.com is.
[re=497049]S.Luggo[/re]: where did you find that? I’m not male and only claim to subscribe to the Economist.
[re=497038]THE PROPHET MUHAMMED PBUH[/re]: And so this is what happens when Islamic Studies majors snap. Best gimmick poster ever!
[re=496978]DemmeFatale[/re]: Yeah, that’s waht I want to know. Who the hell hangs around for a snack at the voting booth???
meh, they scrubbed it.
[re=497062]DustBowlBlues[/re]: hee hee! I like the reference to wonkett being an “adult” website. p0rn, ken??
[re=497049]S.Luggo[/re]: Wait, this Vanity Fair thing is worth subscribing to?
CITY/TOWN: Boston
NEIGHBORHOOD: Southie
NAME: Sully
VOTED AT: left on D, two blocks past the retahded kids house
VOTED FOR: Martha Coakley (Dem)
HOW CROWDED: It was wicked retahded crowded
OTHER COMMENTS: There was no baked goods or nuthin’, so we decided have a barbecue… then we barbecued the retahded kid.
[re=497039]justlen[/re]: DON’T CALL HER LIZ.
Also, I am a poor graduate student, and the only periodicals I get are anthropology journals (which makes me a communist to the max). Pff, Vanity Fair.
[re=497076]Flanders[/re]: An “adult” website???? Fucking fuck those fucking fuckers.
CITY/TOWN: Barnstable
NEIGHBORHOOD:
NAME: Smitty
VOTED AT: Barnstable
VOTED FOR: Scott Brown (GOP)
HOW CROWDED: Like an abattoir in veal season.
OTHER COMMENTS: The baked goods were delicious. Fattening us all up for the slaughter.
[re=496932]rev_matt_y[/re]: Hey, I voted in Natick and it seemed to lean Coakley. Show some luv.
I am going to vote this evening when husband returns from store. I’ll give a report when I return. I am VERY impressed with how plugged in you all are with both Metro Boston AND western Mass. I am a Scooby alum but I’ve lived mostly in Boston. I currently live in Quincy but at one time lived in Abington. The above-referenced Abington comments probably seem legitimate to the moderators at the BG. Town brings to mind the phrase “the great unwashed”.
Also I don’t eat the baked goods at the polls. Why would I want picked over and breathed on Munchkins?
[re=497071]Mad Brahms[/re]: INSHALLAH!
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