THE MANY ADVENTURES OF AMERICA’S NAKED SENATOR: Scott Brown, the New Ted Kennedy, and just as slutty: “I would love to go on a bike ride with Lance Armstrong, just for those few hours, just like to say hi, just to like hug him.” Epic transcription, AP. UPDATE: Let’s just use this same post to say that Ben Bernanke was confirmed for his second term, 70-30. Space is precious on the Internet. [AP/NYT]
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What the foxtrot is he talking about? Why does he want to say hi for so long? Is this code for something?
I like McConnell and Kyl’s advice to Brown, which he was too dense to get: “New boy. Cross us and you’ll see never your wife and slut-muffins again.”
“And I would suck his dick, too, because he only has one ball, and how much jizz can there be in there, anyway? Say, do you think he’d like to screw both my daughters? That’d be pretty safe.”
“Oh yes, Lance, I’d let you unstaple my sealed section any day. Did I mention I have excellent hands?”
but does his truck have nutz?
Gee. I once sat next to Lance Armstrong in a restaurant, and I didn’t feel *any* of that stuff.
‘Course, if we’d been on a tandem bike, with Lance in front, maybe I’d have felt differently.
But does Bernanke want to embrace Lance Armstrong?
Hug him huh? Sounds like an empathy thing. How many testes would be involved in that particular embrace?
[re=503946]Snarkalicious[/re]: As many as Brown can fit on his forehead! Teabags, away!!
Anyone checked w/Cheryl Crow to see how she feels about this?
How many senators can fit on Lance Armstrong’s bicycle saddle?
It depends on how many want to sit ‘side-saddle.’ Then I’d say, three or four max.
[re=503944]Terry[/re]: I think it’s the other way around. The only logical reason for them to re-confirm Bernanke is his sexy bod.
[re=503932]Fox n Fiends[/re]: It has a TruckNut. Singular.
In the interest of bipartisanship, I will try to say something nice about this guy. Here goes: he’s amusing.
Wait! Don’t start tut-tutting. The Dems were just going to cave on everything constantly anyway, even if they’d retained the MA seat. At least Brownie is entertaining so far. Certainly more entertaining than whats-her-name the Boston Cyborg.
[re=503957]Jim Newell[/re]: And his beard. Don’t forget the beard.
Scotty and Barry need to go on a couple of man-dates, and a reliable 60th vote will be restored to the Democrats.
[re=503966]AxmxZ[/re]: Dems are way more than one vote short of a reliable 60th vote.
Damn, that wasn’t very snarky. Does it count that I didn’t watch the SOTU because I really don’t give a fuck anymore?
Wait, that’s wasn’t very snarky either. Argh!
reconfirming Bernanke makes as much sense as giving an award for heroism to the arsonist who pulls a baby out of the building he just torched.
[re=503963]edgydrifter[/re]: …he’s amusing.
He’s the Caucasian Michael Steele!
For the record, Armstrong would rather hug one (both) of those “available” daughters.
Also, why does Martha Coakley love cancer?
[re=503969]artpepper[/re]: The AP is reporting that Obama implored the Republicans today to give up the attitude of “If Obama loses, then we win.”
Barry, Barry, Barry. You’re so adorable when you act like the Republicans give a shit about the common good. They don’t, and we’re fucked. Thank the gods for gin.
What I’m getting from this is that Ben Bernanke, Lance Armstrong and Scott Brown are having a 3-way.
I thought Bernanke just ejaculated in piles of freshly printed thousand dollar bills, but what do I know?
[re=503987]CorkPopper[/re]: The thing is, he must know that, right? I’m sure at night his pillow talk with Michelle must be along the lines of “Those unbelievable fucking bastards!!”
[re=503994]artpepper[/re]: You’d think, right? All year I was thinking he had some jujitsu up his sleeve or at least Rahm was going to break out the fish heads. I’m still waiting…
Lance would probably cold cock him.
Awww, I bet those two would make an absolutely adorable couple!
Wow — Massachusetts has a Gomer Pyle and they elected him their senator. And while I’m glad he’s got creepy boundaries for people other than his daughters, those DC Republicans are gonna lead him around by the nose. Here he is saying how independent he’s gonna be:
Asked how McConnell and Kyl responded, Brown said, ”They understood. They said, `You can probably do whatever you want, Scott. And, so, just let us know where your head’s at, and we’ll talk it through, and just keep us posted.’”
It’s like watching a baby crawl into the dingo exhibit at the zoo.
He’s teh ghey and he needs to come out. The end.
[re=503957]Jim Newell[/re]: [re=503964]assistant/atlas[/re]: I’d hit it…
See just like Kennedy he liked hanging around dope addicts.
Didn’t Bernanke play the Ed McMahon-like sidekick on ‘The Larry Sanders Show’? Hey, now!
When are all the other senators going to pose naked? Maybe there should be a naked group photo?
[re=504003]Extemporanus[/re]: You mean “Scott Pee Brown”? He’s already a couple on the same tissue.
Scot Brown? Total. Idiot.
And how many carbon credits do you get for conserving bandwidth on teh Intarwebs?
F Brown and the Lance he rode in on.
I want video of them hugging while bike-riding unless bike riding is code for something, in case I may decide against the video.
[re=503995]CorkPopper[/re]: Oh yes, the Great Robama who plays 36-dimensional chess in his head while shootin’ hoops for to relax, and the Notorious Rahmanuel who can coerce any Democrat in Congress to do Robama’s bidding. Uh huh.
I’m SO sorry I gave away my hash pipe many years ago.
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